Saturday, July 18, 2009

Huge/Expensive weddings

We like to invite 4,000 people to our weddings. I am NOT exaggerating. I was at a wedding Thursday. It was PACKED. Then I heard 4,000 people were invited. But I think 1,000 is pretty big.

Indians invite everyone to everything.

Me? I prefer a small but elegant wedding. Details are important. I'd rather have a small beautiful wedding rather than a big one where I'll have to cut expenses. Not that this wedding wasn't nice. It was very very nice. But not everyone can throw together a big shabang of a wedding. Plus, with the divorce rate being so high these days, would you want to blow all your money on one day?

I hope fiance and I won't have to think about divorce, but I'd rather save that money to start our life together rather than start off with nothing.

What about you guys?

17 comments:

Constructive Attitude said...

I agree. I think I want a small wedding as well. I think more than half the people that do come, you dont even know. its mostly your parents' friends and their kids, and they could care less about you.

Artistic Logic said...

agreeed =)

im always for small groups ;)

provoking invoking said...

yeah same, most definitely. i really just want the people i truly LOVE you know? which is still quite a lot of people. IA i also have always wanted to donate an equal amount of money to charity for every dollar spent for the wedding.

but you konw.. these things are out of our control haha. our parents have this culture which has its politics, and the rule is you MUST invite everyone to your kids' wedding who has ever invited you to any event in their life. my dad has a spreadsheet list of people he 'owes' something too. hehe. so i just stay away from any thought about what i *want* my wedding to be like- reality is that i'm not in charge of it.

Soda and Candy said...

I agree totally. So many people get hung up on this one day and it leaves them top start the first part of their life together in financial stress. Marriage is hard enough without that!

BTW - I found this blog via Constructive Attitude's comment on Vegetable Assassin's blog and just wanted to quickly say how interesting and great your shared blog idea is!!! I'm so into opening each other's minds about different cultures!

Faith in Writing said...

I had a small wedding, I can't imagine trying to rationalise spending heaps of money on a wedding and then BANG it's gone. Bye that money.
A friend of mine is Hindu Indian and he showed me the pics from his wedding. He was like "There were thousands" and he wasn't kidding. I was like, "Do you know everyone there?" and he just laughed and said he didn't. They're like everyone his family ever knew, and everyone who knew his family ever knew. Lovely ceremonies though and it seemed very special. I liked when they had colour thrown on them.
And the bride looked GORGeous. Virti.
But I think if it's in your tradition to have a big wedding, and if your family pays for it and always assumes they will, it'll be different. We don't have huge weddings in Australia. There's a tradition for people to get drunk... so I'm glad I had mine overseas in a courthouse with like 5 other people. It was one of the best days ever.

Girl On A Journey said...

I would prefer just the people close to me. It makes no sense I share the best day of my life with people I dont even know. It takes away from the meaning

Candice said...

I had a small, intimate destination wedding. It was perfect.

I'm not the huge shindig type.

JennyMac said...

Ahhh...this is always a fun process. I wanted 500 at our wedding..my husband wanted about 20 not including family. We ended up with a very select 100 at it was so incredible to have the people I was closest to be a part. And once people were there and saw we carefully crafted the invites, people told us they were honored to be included. I am still touched by that to this day, years later.

Stumbling, Falling, Dreaming & Flying said...

I find weddings of all Asian people extremely difficult to get through... I'm so restless!

the girl in stiletto said...

you're engaged??? my bad! i didnt know.

i wanna elope to greece. my family is HUMONGOUS. my parents would want to invite the whole state to attend my wedding.

i want the smallest wedding i can get away with. like you said, the marriage itself is what matters, instead of the wedding. ya know. :) and i get headaches with big crowds.

fuelMybrain said...

If I had it to do over again, I'd have a small wedding, great honey moon and save the rest for a down payment on a house. Weddings are fun, don't get me wrong we had a blast at ours, but all the money spent was not the equivalent of the gifts. Which oddly is partly the idea right? Same at a birthday party, you spend say $15/kid to throw the party and they get your child a gift that's about $15. It's wash, but more fun than me buying all the gifts and no party.

So it's a toss up. Save yourself the stress, but buy yourself all your own stuff AND offend probably everyone you know. UGH, yeah who knows.

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