Never doubt that a small group of people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has- M.M.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Giving and thanking
So please don't waste the food. And if your budget will allow, please donate money to feed a child or family for a day, few days, whatever you can. I have been blessed with too much. I'd say I have been spoiled rotten. And I am not thankful enough for the clothes on my back & food in my stomach. Only now am I realizing that it is God who has given me this. But I also have a responsibility to make sure my neighbor doesn't go hungry. That I give a party of myself and time helping those in need. And it's our job to remind each other of our many many blessings we have been gifted and to help those who are less fortunate.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
"The film is offensive because it misrepresents Islam. Senseless violence and murder is offensive for the same reason." Nouman Ali Khan
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. {from P.S. I Love You}
It is now my goal in life to smile when I make eye intact with someone. Or do something nice for a stranger if the opportunity arises. You never know how far that little gesture can go and turn a persons horrible day upside down.
It also might make people more aware of the fact that a little random act of kindness can go a long way. Maybe they'll pay if forward. And maybe it'll spread and maybe eventually people won't hate on each other for no reason and the world will be good again. Was it ever good?
Anyways, because the world is ugly and selfish, I decided to try and do random good things. And to count my blessings and the beauty around me. If I post it here maybe it'll make me more aware of the good stuff in my life and stop my complaining.
Today's good things:
1. Grape leaves. Someone made them. I don't know who. People either hate them or love them. I love.
2. Tests. They make me smarter.
3. I don't like surprises when I know one's coming, but they're fun.
4. Annnnd this. WTHeck??
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Shibly, the man of cheer
I briefly spoke to him on the phone many times, while I received and delivered the phone to my sister-in-law.
During those conversations he would joke: You sound like a little girl ha ha ha! (in the gentlest way) I could not help but laugh with him. He told me how he loved my son's name, named after one of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad who's name means "abundance" in Arabic. And he would encourage me to keep good relations with his sibling who I live with, as a gesture of keeping it real.
And there he was, in person.
Everyday for a week, Shibly attracted guests, neighbors, and family members to our home. He would sit on the couch and literally all you would hear would be him talking followed by a heartfelt good laugh. Laid back, easy-going and friendly he would generate and carry-on even the dullest of conversations.
For example, my father-in-law asked him, "Is your wife older or is your (younger) brother's wife older?" His wife is older.
Shibly, who has been married for about a decade doesn't have any children, brought a handful of toys for the kids to play with. His wife and he are trying to conceive. They have been trying.
One day while he sat on the couch in the living room, he talked about the treasure of mothers.
A summary of what he said:
Child services are so expensive. In England you could get paid about 350 pounds a week in foster care, or $700. That's a lot of money. On the other hand, a mother doesn't get paid anything. For some women who chose to work (full-time) rob themselves the joy of raising their children and giving them a peace of mind. They are not only expected to bring home money but they are also expected to start their second full-time job as soon as they get home: homemaker and mother. They are on a short-end. Some cannot stand it when their children make noise. When they are excited and loud. By the second time, the kids are in trouble.
For others, mothers leave primary child-rearing to their mothers/mother-in-laws, and that is for free. What do the grandparents get in return? Nothing. Not a payment nor a gift (he meant in general child-caring is just expected of them). Yet childcare is worth at least $700 a week, per child.
All this made me think. I finished my undergrad last December and haven't been "seriously" looking for a job. One of my reasons is to care for my infant son. As a writer, I can find jobs online jobs and petty things. Most of my services end up being for free.
I'm afraid of just what Shibly described; losing precious much-needed time with my son.
I am guilty of leaving my child with his grandparents while I went to school, which I justified through a pre-marriage talk of continuing my education after marriage. I also justified that while he was a baby he wouldn't "miss me as much" or "need as much care" rather than when he was older. It would also be harder for me to leave him home once he was older and understood I was leaving him behind. I was afraid I'd be less motivated to continue my education if I gave up just then (I was in my 3rd year of college when I was pregnant.)
When I was pregnant I thought about giving it all up. At the time I was taking full-time credits, doing an internship and transitioning from single college life to married college life. I was dealing with living in a multi-family multi-complex home. I still live there.
But then I came to my senses. One of my favorite verses in the Quran is: " No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. (2:233)" This verse has given me the strength to carry on every time the road looked rough. God tests us to make us stronger and to bring us closer to Him.
"Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward. (64:15)" Subhanallah, Glorious is Allah.
As parents, our reward on Earth is already mentioned in the Quran too...good treatment and respect from our children.
"And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims. (46:15)"
Sometimes we need people who don't have children to remind us of the gifts we have, and the blessings we take for granted.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Mother Effer
I walked around campus today, and heard and heard and heard the repetition of the word "mother effer..." but you know, the full word. Now, as a woman, mother anything strikes a sense of anger within me, but a word that is so saturated with racist history... well, that hurts.
It hurts me so much, that I could help but start crying when I turned to this boy standing by me. And I said.... "do you know what the word you just said means?" and the one who had made the moronic statement said "what?" As though he was unsure of what I was saying, or maybe that I even spoke at all. Given that my voice was shaking, we were in a room full of people, and well I was the only person who really looked "different" I gathered up my courage, threw a silent prayer to the skies and said "It is the term used, in which slave owners referred to their slaves, because they would force them to breed with their mothers"..... And the boy looked at me... I say boy, but he may have been my age, who knows. But he looked at me as though I was the ignorant one, as though I was the rude one, as though I was the one who spent the last 5 minutes cussing up a storm.
And he said, nothing. Actually, it was more of a "gasp" but not in that "oh my God" kind of way. But you know....
So, I walk away, to pick up my order from taco bell, and he turns to his friend and he's like "I have plenty of black friends, and I've never heard that before".... and then starts cussing me out, like I wasn't 2 feet away, or that he was pretending like I should pretend not to hear him. Now, if you were wondering about his race, I guess his statement makes his distinction clear.... So, moving from that point of distinction, his friend, who happened to be black, was so beautifully eloquent, that I just wanted to hug him on the spot, but resisted the urge. Anyway, the one who used the poopy statement, just went on and on about how I should have not spoken. But from the looks of everyone in the room, I think they all stood on me with this issue, and his friend said "she's just educating you about history".... and they just went on and on.
So, I moved on. Sat down at the first secluded table as I tend to do. And began writing. I decided, that I will write a poem about those words, about this encounter, but I am not quite ready to do so yet. Some things are better left unsaid, and sometimes the messenger gets shot, but someone needs to 'deliver the message'. I think he was upset that a small little quiet girl had the audacity to say something to him. I'm sorry for verbally castrating you stranger, but sometimes things are worth saying. Some things, like those words, are better left unsaid....
Now, why the post? Well, it hurts that people are so naively ignorant. Just because you never heard something before, doesn't mean there is no history to it. Science is the discovery of preexisting things, moments, times, experiences, and/or all of the above, and giving it a name or label. Not that I am reducing science to that meaning only, but in this instance I will stand by that definition. I instantaneously started crying when I heard this young man. Tears just poured out of my eyes, as though I was actually standing outside in the rain, rather within the shelter of a building. I hope that people become more aware about the words they use. Or willing to accept advice from a stranger, who has nothing to gain and everything to lose when giving their thoughts to someone they may never see again.
I don't know where I am going with this. But I know this, I am too sensitive when it comes to words. Maybe it's a product of being a student of philosophy, but I hope that people just develop a tiny bit more understanding and respect to their surroundings.
I don't know. I guess I'll never know. Thoughts anyone?
Some posts I'd like to share:
http://open.salon.com/blog/trig_palin/2009/09/04/a_history_of_the_term_motherfucker
Monday, April 4, 2011
Rock....Paper... Scissors...JESUS!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
El oh el!
Occasionally me and Chuckle have laughing fests. I'll laugh about something, she'll laugh at my distinctive laugh. And next thing you know, we have tears streaming down our face and we're holding the sides of our stomachs from pain.
We also used to lie down next to each other, in an upside down position, and talk to one another. The way your mouth looks in this position, while you talk, used to crack us up! It just looked so dumb and funny to see your mouth move from an upside down angle.

So after watching the recent CNN special on "Unwelcome: The Muslims Next Door", I was in a state of panic and worry and disgust and anger and just an overall upset mood. If you haven't watched it or didn't hear about it, it's basically about the city of Mursfreesboro, Tennessee, enraged that the Muslim residents of the city decided on relocating and constructing their mosque to a larger space. There were many people for and OBVIOUSLY against the building of the mosque and many protests over it. So much controversy surrounded it that it was taken to court. Just a lot of tension, bigotry, and ignorance in the city of Mursfreesboro. It was very disheartening to watch and take in.
However I got an email today from one of our former authors, Artistic Logic, that has kept me laughing all day. Instead of getting upset and outraged, Artistic Logic, more or less, pointed out the ridiculous things people say, ludicrous things people do, and even the outrageous things people wear. Not to mention the lack of knowledge people have about a lot of things these days, particularly that of Islam and Muslims. Don't get me wrong, the special presented by CNN is a very serious issue and impacts many people, myself included. And I applaud CNN for taking the initiative and raising awareness about this. But after some time, if you really look back on it, and listen to some of the stuff and watch the actions of people, it really makes you guffaw at it all.
While talking about subject and predicate parts of a sentence with my class, I randomly thought of it, and I suppressed a giggle. And then again when I was yelling at my students for shouting out during instruction, I had to force the smile away that was creeping up on my lips. And while driving home from work, I was grinning from ear to ear, while thinking about it.
I dont know about you, but I just love to laugh. I feel like my whole day was much nicer cause of that email that had me hooting since dawn.
Not to mention that LOL-ing is much more fun and better,then say, FML-ing.
Friday, March 18, 2011
In Pursuit of my Cousin
Okay, we didn't have acid thrown in our faces but didn't you catch that episode of Oprah way back when??
We finished up our ice cream and still had about half an hour so we decided to explore the stores. As we were about to enter a clothing store we hear a guy calling out behind us, "Excuse me? Excuse me??" Normally I just ignore because it's never for me. But this guy was persistent. We finally turned around and {not to me, of course} to my cousin says, "Excuse me.....I think I'm in love with you."
Hmmthat'sniceyaykthanksbye. None of us said anything. We just walked into the store.
It's like this. In America, if a guy opens the door for you, you smile and say thank you. In India, if a guy opens a door for you, you shoot him a glare that implies that you're ready to slap him around with the bottom of your shoe. Things are different here and even simple eye contact usually ends up in one of the parties getting too excited...and the other being stalked.
As we were browsing along, minding our own business, I noticed the same guy standing outside. Waiting anxiously. Anyways, it's almost movie time so we're like whatever, just ignore him and he'll take the hint and leave. But he calls out to my cousin again while following us around the mall. And we ignore him again, this time ducking into another store. The shoe store has all glass walls and the guy is staring at us through the glass and following us around the store from the outside. It was REALLY CREEPY, guys. Following us from glass wall to glass wall. I don't think he came in because they'd call security or something for harrassing potential customers.
I don't know why it didn't occur to us to call security right then and there.
Movie time, thank God. The theaters are on another floor and you're not allowed up without a ticket. He didn't have a ticket. It was funny watching him from above on the escalator. He just stood there like a little sad puppy, watching us.
During intermission we go out for popcorn and other movie things. and *gasp* There he is. Watching. Waiting. He either bought a ticket or did something {read: bribed someone} to get up there. My cousin wasn't with us, so he came running up to us, pleading to speak to my cousin.
Again. Ignore.
You guys might think telling him off or simply nicely saying no, she's not interested would be enough. But this is the third world, India Edition, and like I said, being nice gets you in trouble. Eye contact gets you in trouble. Breathing at the wrong time will get you into trouble.
So the movie ends and this guy has been waiting for about two hours or so outside the theater. Again, he follows us around and we go to the parking lot. He stopped following us and we breathe a sigh of relief. I mean, what if he followed us home or something? Or what if he punctured our tires or did something in the dark empty parking lot?? WHO KNOWS HOW THIS GUY WOULD TURN OUT.
It's always the little ones. They're like evil little elves or something.
I'm little. Does that make me evil? *shiftty eyes*
So we're driving out of the parking lot and we all start screaming in horror because outside the exit there he was, waiting on his motorcycle. I figured he's stalked many women in his time or he had thought of everything possible in case he found "the one" for him.
At this point we really start to freak out thinking he'll follow us home and burn the house down or something. Oh, and I had images of acid being splashed on my face, of course. My cousin's cousin then tells the security guard to hold the guy for about five minutes. And that she'll report him if he doesn't stop him from following us. Oh Em Gee. The whole ride home we were freaking out whenever we saw a guy with a red cap on. But Alhamdulillah, we were able to get away from him.
If you've made it this far, you're probably thinking how dumb it was to freak out like that or anything. I would, too, but after living here I've learned that things are handled much differently here. And I treat guys differently here than I do in when I'm in America. I'm still laughing about how he strategically parked his bike right outside the exit so he could easily follow us out.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Egyptian Revolution
Not really sure how to put all this momentum and energy into solid words. But the feeling is just amazing. Its not only about Mubarak stepping down... its the fact that the whole world was behind Egypt united, standing for justice, and continuously supportive. Im not Egyptian and outside of a few friends in Egypt, I dont have much of a connection to that country. But I still felt part of this revolution... I cried, I cheered, I held hope... I just couldnt physically be with the thousands on Tahrir Square day after day.
From January 25th to February 11th, 2011, Egypt is finally FREE!
As a twitter junkie, I found some inspiring tweets about Egypt from celebrities to scholars to journalists to everyday Egyptians:
ArabRevolution تباً لك ياطاغوت by NickKristof
So the Danish are the first to stand up for #Egypt. While we vilified a whole nation for some cartoons. Puts things into perspective
DawudWalid الملا داود والد
#Obama gives credit of uprising in #Egypt to young people.
andersoncooper Anderson Cooper
Mubarak's lies continue.
YasirQadhi Yasir Qadhi
Mubarak everyone!!! Mubarak has gone :)
naveensyed Naveen Syed
Congratulations, #Egypt! So amazing, inspiring, motivational. You deserve it!
jamaaldiwan Jamaal Diwan
The largest non-violent protest in world history prevails!!! Pouring out tears and prayers for those who we lost along the way...
IrshadManji IrshadManji
The ppl of #Egypt have affirmed that liberty is not a Western construct but a universally shared aspiration.
iansomerhalder ian somerhalder
Congratulating the people of Egypt- freedom is every living person's right! You deserve it! Dictators be done!
Alyssa_Milano Alyssa Milano
Happy Birthday, #Egypt!
Ghonim Wael Ghonim by LowkeyMusic1
Dear Western Governments, You've been silent for 30 years supporting the regime that was oppressing us. Please don't get involved now #Jan25
awadofgum
Spent the last couple hours giving out candy on the Diag. People's faces are hilarious when you tell them "Happy Egyptian Revolution Day!"
cwzymuslima cwzymuslima
#Egypt did for itself in 3 weeks what the US could not do for #Iraq and #Afghanistan in nearly 10 years. Peace, not war, overcomes #terror.
nilebabe
Today I'm so incredibly proud and inspired by the power that #egypt claimed back for itself. I'm proud of my family that contributed to it.
DawudWalid الملا داود والد
we bombed Iraq to replace a dictator we propped up.#Egypt, it happen without bombs. So much for the inherently violent Muslim talking point.
NickKristof Nicholas Kristof
Muslims and Christians praying together in #Tahrir. Very inspiring. Le'ts hope--and pray--that that unity persists.
**While we're in the midst of celebrating Egypts freedom, however, lets just not forget that it all started with a man in Tunisia who set himself on fire in protest to the Tunisian dictatorship. This is proof. One person can make a difference.**
-Empty Words (Guest Author)
Friday, February 11, 2011
If we Have God, we have everything.
There are times when I feel troubled but I can't put my finger on the source of the problem. I feel crummy inside and I don't want to share my feelings with anyone in fear of gossiping or wasting time.
A long time ago I realized how important it is to look for the fault of problems in ourselves. Meaning, there are ways we can change a situation. As the old saying goes, if you're not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem.
I am a person who used to get sad a lot. For no reason. Or because I wouldn't get over things. Alhamdulillah, thank God, that has changed.
I am also a writer. I have sudden urges to write. At those times I scramble for paper, pencil, and start writing on anything I can find. Sometimes even napkins. If I don't I will forget what I have in my mind at that exact moment. (I wonder if poets can relate?)
It also helps with meditating, figuring out emotions and for me, often helps me think of a solution.
So on an AT&T mailed envelope I wrote:
...The deeds of a man cannot pay for even one of the many blessings of Allah (subhana wa ta’ala), because even the smallest of Allah’s blessings and favors on us far outweigh the deeds a human can perform. So bear in mind the rights which Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) has over us.
Trials & hardships and how to deal with pain: Navaid Aziz – He Who Has No One Has Allah: http://www.halaltube.com/navaid-aziz-he-who-has-no-one-has-allah
from the group "Ahadith per Day keeps Shaytaan away: part 2!!"
And I watched the video.
He said, Those who have no one, have God. Those who have God's pleasure, have everything.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Babies
Throughout the years kids have progressively started to fear me. I'm talking about looking at me and bawling. Am I too cute or something??
Don't be silly. You can never be too cute.
I read somewhere that in cartoons they make the good guys look jolly and round and happy. So the good guys have softer features than the bad guys. And the bad guys are pointy kind of like Jafar from Aladdin.
My face is long and kind of pointy. Like Jafar.
So I'm used to kids backing up against the wall and screaming or crying when they look at me. I don't want to make the situation worse so I do what's best. I don't go crazy all over them. And I don't get how people gush over kids. I feel like a loser thinking about doing it. I'm turning red right now just thinking about it.
But the past few weeks have been different. At the mosque during prayer a baby crawled up next to me and screamed happily and then grabbed my arm. I froze. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS THING LATCHING ON TO MY ARM!? Since I'm not used to breaking out in baby talk I just smile and slowly take his hand like I want to and move it. Well that's what I woukd have attempted to do. Thank the Lord his little sister grabbed him away.
And then I ran into this other baby. Well, the baby's mom. She's my friend. And he was a happy baby who'd go to anyone. And he was all smiley and yayyyy towards me and so I pretended to be yayyy back lol. But then he didn't cry!!
I'm wondering why babies are all happy to see me now. It's weird. And different. So I decided to not be so indifferent toward them if they seem to like me.
Today a girl called me "Mama". Mama. She insisted my name was Mama.
And I look more pointy than ever. So I have no idea what happened or why babies are flocking to me. But I'll take it. You do realize how embarrassing it is when babies look at you and scream and start crying as soon as you hold them, don't you? My darling sister makes it worse by saying something like, "OMG FU what did you do to her?" and then everyone in the room gives you the death glare.
My life has changed. I live in a world where babies are no longer out to make me feel like a monster. I suppose I should accept this change and try to get to know them, too. But I won't make baby noises and be all up in their faces and try to eat their feet. That's just weird.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
As we celebrate...and Remember
Thursday, August 19, 2010
"Ground Zero Mosque" or Pentagon Chapel?
The measure was taken to the city's Landmark's Preservation Commission, which approved the building of the cultural center 9-0, said the New York Times.
According to www.park51.org, the vision of the community center includes, "pluralism, service, arts and culture, education and empowerment, appreciation for our city and a deep respect for our planet," to allow an "accessible platform for conversations across our identities."
Those who lost loved ones, neighbors and Republicans have been opposing the building of the cultural center - noting sensitivity issues such as "giving the terrorists a reason to cheer" being one of the main concerns.
Supporters have raised the flag of tolerance for religion freedom.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York said, Muslims have the right to practice religious freedom, reported the Huffington Post.
"We may not always agree with every one of our neighbors. That's life and it's part of living in such a diverse and dense city. But we also recognize that part of being a New Yorker is living with your neighbors in mutual respect and tolerance. It was exactly that spirit of openness and acceptance that was attacked on 9/11," he said.
"Let us not forget that Muslims were among those murdered on 9/11 and that our Muslim neighbors grieved with us as New Yorkers and as Americans. We would betray our values - and play into our enemies' hands - if we were to treat Muslims differently than anyone else. In fact, to cave to popular sentiment would be to hand a victory to the terrorists - and we should not stand for that."
President Barack Obama echoed the message of religious freedom, putting the issue of whether to continue the project, on a national scale.
While House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she supports the constitutional right to freedom of religion, she is concerned about the funds of the project, reported CBS News.
"Pelosi told KCBS is San Francisco yesterday that she joins "those who have called for looking into how is this opposition to the mosque being funded." She added: "How is this being ginned up?"
In a follow-up statement today on the project - an Islamic cultural center that includes a mosque called the Cordoba House that would be built two blocks from the site of the Sept. 11 attacks - Pelosi said the location of the project is a "local decision," though "the freedom of religion is a Constitutional right."
She said that she agrees with the Interfaith Alliance and Anti-Defamation League that the funding for the project should be transparent, as well as this portion of a statement from those groups: "At the same time, we should also ask who is funding the attacks against the construction of the center."
From a different set of eyes

The building was created in November 2002, giving space to all religious groups to practice freely.
"United in memory, September 11, 2001," it reads.
"The chapel contains 80 seats and has regularly scheduled religious services on weekdays, including Catholic confession and Mass, a Jewish service and Torah study, a Hindu service, a Mormon service and services for other Christian denominations, along with the Muslim prayer service.
"I've never had a question about it" in four-plus years at the Pentagon, Army spokesman George Wright said.
The Army culture of religious freedom dates back to the Revolutionary War, Wright said, describing it as "a big tent."
"We're very tolerant here of one another and our faith," he said. "We don't keep track of who comes in."

Peace, Journalist.