Mother Effer

(Guest Post)

I type this... as tears stream out of my eyes and my heart clenches in a way that can only be the product of utter exasperation and irritation.

I walked around campus today, and heard and heard and heard the repetition of the word "mother effer..." but you know, the full word. Now, as a woman, mother anything strikes a sense of anger within me, but a word that is so saturated with racist history... well, that hurts.
It hurts me so much, that I could help but start crying when I turned to this boy standing by me. And I said.... "do you know what the word you just said means?" and the one who had made the moronic statement said "what?" As though he was unsure of what I was saying, or maybe that I even spoke at all. Given that my voice was shaking, we were in a room full of people, and well I was the only person who really looked "different" I gathered up my courage, threw a silent prayer to the skies and said "It is the term used, in which slave owners referred to their slaves, because they would force them to breed with their mothers"..... And the boy looked at me... I say boy, but he may have been my age, who knows. But he looked at me as though I was the ignorant one, as though I was the rude one, as though I was the one who spent the last 5 minutes cussing up a storm.
And he said, nothing. Actually, it was more of a "gasp" but not in that "oh my God" kind of way. But you know....

So, I walk away, to pick up my order from taco bell, and he turns to his friend and he's like "I have plenty of black friends, and I've never heard that before".... and then starts cussing me out, like I wasn't 2 feet away, or that he was pretending like I should pretend not to hear him. Now, if you were wondering about his race, I guess his statement makes his distinction clear.... So, moving from that point of distinction, his friend, who happened to be black, was so beautifully eloquent, that I just wanted to hug him on the spot, but resisted the urge. Anyway, the one who used the poopy statement, just went on and on about how I should have not spoken. But from the looks of everyone in the room, I think they all stood on me with this issue, and his friend said "she's just educating you about history".... and they just went on and on.

So, I moved on. Sat down at the first secluded table as I tend to do. And began writing. I decided, that I will write a poem about those words, about this encounter, but I am not quite ready to do so yet. Some things are better left unsaid, and sometimes the messenger gets shot, but someone needs to 'deliver the message'. I think he was upset that a small little quiet girl had the audacity to say something to him. I'm sorry for verbally castrating you stranger, but sometimes things are worth saying. Some things, like those words, are better left unsaid....

Now, why the post? Well, it hurts that people are so naively ignorant. Just because you never heard something before, doesn't mean there is no history to it. Science is the discovery of preexisting things, moments, times, experiences, and/or all of the above, and giving it a name or label. Not that I am reducing science to that meaning only, but in this instance I will stand by that definition. I instantaneously started crying when I heard this young man. Tears just poured out of my eyes, as though I was actually standing outside in the rain, rather within the shelter of a building. I hope that people become more aware about the words they use. Or willing to accept advice from a stranger, who has nothing to gain and everything to lose when giving their thoughts to someone they may never see again.

I don't know where I am going with this. But I know this, I am too sensitive when it comes to words. Maybe it's a product of being a student of philosophy, but I hope that people just develop a tiny bit more understanding and respect to their surroundings.

I don't know. I guess I'll never know. Thoughts anyone?

Some posts I'd like to share:

http://open.salon.com/blog/trig_palin/2009/09/04/a_history_of_the_term_motherfucker

(I came across this amazing post today and was surprised by what I had just learned. I just had to feature this post and help spread the word. The author is the amazing, talented writer, Supreem and you can find the original post and her blog here here: http://supreemthoughts.blogspot.com/

You won't regret clicking that link. Unless you hate the color green...Thenn you might regret it a little

-Symphonic Discord author)

To Veil or Unveil?

In light of NPR's recent piece "Lifting the Veil," in which Muslim women describe why they took of their headscarves, I've been having multiple discussions on the meaning of "hijaab" in Islam. 


The literal meaning of the word "hijaab" ( حجاب ) in Arabic is NOT headscarf. It actually means a barrier or partition. It comes from the verb which means "to form a separation between" and "to cover." 


Its interesting how the word is used in the Quran. God says: 

وَبَيْنَهُمَا حِجَابٌ ۚ وَعَلَى الْأَعْرَافِ رِجَالٌ   يَعْرِفُونَ كُلًّا بِسِيمَاهُمْ ۚ وَنَادَوْا أَصْحَابَ الْجَنَّةِ أَن سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ ۚ  لَمْ يَدْخُلُوهَا وَهُمْ يَطْمَعُونَ

And between them will be a partition, and on [its] elevations are men who will recognize all by their marks. And they call out to the companions of Paradise, "Peace be upon you." They have not [yet] entered by they long intensely. [7:46]

In this verse the "hijaab" is referring to a wall/partition/barrier that is put between the people of Heaven and the people of Hellfire. And on this partition are a group of people whose good deeds are equal to their bad deeds and so they're waiting for their judgement, not knowing which side of the barrier they'll be put on.


What is interesting here is the purpose of this barrier. It clearly and physically separates those who were righteous in this world from those who were not.


Now lets backtrack to the cultural use of the word "hijaab." These days its used to refer to the headscarf which many Muslim women wear to cover. Historically however it is a state which a Muslim man and Muslim woman both observe; a state of modesty and a state of openly identifying as a Muslim. This state is both internal and external. Internally, one's heart is attached to God and thus puts a barrier around it protected one's self from that which will deter him or her from God. Externally, it puts a barrier from oneself from those who are not Muslim. This external barrier is not to shun people, but it is to show and be proud of one's Islamic identity.


The beauty of Islam is that its not actually a religion as we define religion. It is a way of life which encompasses every facet of the believer's life rather than compartmentalizing it like many other religions.


Thus when a Muslim woman specifically chooses to observe hijaab, part of it manifests outwardly in covering her external beauties by covering her hair, breasts, and dressing modestly in a dignified manner.


I've been asked many times by people about my hijaab: "Don't you feel oppressed? Wouldn't it just feel liberated to not have to cover?"

My answer: 

My hijaab is my representation of liberation, a right God has bestowed on all women. We live in a day and age where women are oppressed by men's sexual desires. Women are the objects of sexual entertainment in media all around us. We're oppressed by this media that tells us to be free by taking off our clothes and exposing ourselves the world. My hijaab reminds me that I am of extreme worth and value, that my value is not by my external body but by my internal soul, that to have a sense of dignity is where my freedom lies. So no, I don't feel oppressed. Rather, I feel liberated. I feel free. I feel beautiful. I feel Muslim.

Rock....Paper... Scissors...JESUS!

Bam!! When my kids at school play this, Jesus totally TRUMPS all of the above. Obviously. It's funny how kids can have more faith in things than adults. Not just concerning their religiosity either. But just in general. They are more optimistic, hopeful, open-minded about things around them then adults are. We can always say it, but it's so true that kids are wiser then we give them credit for. I asked my kids how they would settle a disagreement and argument today. I also asked them to respond and provide both negative and positive ways to settle a dispute. Negative ways included fighting and insulting one another. And positive methods ranged from talking it out, walking away, hearing the opposing side, breathing, counting to ten, apologizing to one another, and asking others for advice. Terry Jones, the pastor that burned the Qu'ran recently, and has been threatening to do so since the 9th anniversary of September 11, and the people in Afghanistan that are attacking and killing innocent civilians in retaliation, could learn a thing or two from them. Shame on all of them for acting the way they are. Whether it's figuratively, or literally, haven't they all learned from Mahatma Gandhi, that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind?

El oh el!

Laughing is refreshing. It's fun to do. It's a helluva lot better than sulking.

Occasionally me and Chuckle have laughing fests. I'll laugh about something, she'll laugh at my distinctive laugh. And next thing you know, we have tears streaming down our face and we're holding the sides of our stomachs from pain.

We also used to lie down next to each other, in an upside down position, and talk to one another. The way your mouth looks in this position, while you talk, used to crack us up! It just looked so dumb and funny to see your mouth move from an upside down angle.





So after watching the recent CNN special on "Unwelcome: The Muslims Next Door", I was in a state of panic and worry and disgust and anger and just an overall upset mood. If you haven't watched it or didn't hear about it, it's basically about the city of Mursfreesboro, Tennessee, enraged that the Muslim residents of the city decided on relocating and constructing their mosque to a larger space. There were many people for and OBVIOUSLY against the building of the mosque and many protests over it. So much controversy surrounded it that it was taken to court. Just a lot of tension, bigotry, and ignorance in the city of Mursfreesboro. It was very disheartening to watch and take in.

However I got an email today from one of our former authors, Artistic Logic, that has kept me laughing all day. Instead of getting upset and outraged, Artistic Logic, more or less, pointed out the ridiculous things people say, ludicrous things people do, and even the outrageous things people wear. Not to mention the lack of knowledge people have about a lot of things these days, particularly that of Islam and Muslims. Don't get me wrong, the special presented by CNN is a very serious issue and impacts many people, myself included. And I applaud CNN for taking the initiative and raising awareness about this. But after some time, if you really look back on it, and listen to some of the stuff and watch the actions of people, it really makes you guffaw at it all.

While talking about subject and predicate parts of a sentence with my class, I randomly thought of it, and I suppressed a giggle. And then again when I was yelling at my students for shouting out during instruction, I had to force the smile away that was creeping up on my lips. And while driving home from work, I was grinning from ear to ear, while thinking about it.

I dont know about you, but I just love to laugh. I feel like my whole day was much nicer cause of that email that had me hooting since dawn.

Not to mention that LOL-ing is much more fun and better,then say, FML-ing.

Its a Revolution

Thousands of Egyptians are rallying in the streets standing up for justice and freedom, the same morals which we claim to have while sitting on our high American horses.

Personally, I think its amazing. It's history in the making! A new revamped Middle East? Who knows, maybe. All I know is that these people have been living under fear and injustice for 30 years. I remember once asking one of my teachers back in Cairo why he didn't grow his beard out, a common Muslim practice. His response: "I fear the government will kill me."

Its hard for us Americans to understand the hardships lower class Egyptians have been dealing with. There is such an insane discrepancy between the rich and the poor. The rich are living it up in their Californian houses behind gated communities while the poor are living in tiny apartments or shacks piling up families of 10 into a bedroom or two.

When I first went to Egypt several years ago one of the first things I was told was not to talk about government or religion in public or on the phone. Imagine living that of lifestyle. Couple it with not being able to get properly educated or solidify a good paying stable job.

Yea, its a revolution. And its about time.

The Hermit Kingdom

Disclaimer:This post is all over the place, so bear with me.

The only thing I've ever known about Korea and the Korean people are they make some interesting dramas that Controlled Chaos likes to watch/talk about.

And occasionally I'll join her and watch them too.

That's pretty sad, isn't it?

(My knowledge of the place is sad,not the fact that I watch the dramas.)

My friend, M, recently told me about a documentary about North Korea. Some of the stuff that she was talking about just seemed unrealistic and downright primitive that I had to watch the documentary myself.

So that's what I did this past weekend.

I watched the documentary National Geographic: Inside North Korea, reported by Lisa Ling.

A doctor from Nepal, Dr. Ruetz, was traveling to North Korea to perform cataract eye surgery on approximately 1000 inhabitants of North Korea. He was going treat cataracts of people from the age range of 5-70. All in one week. Lisa Ling joined this doctor, under the ruse of working for the medical team and filming the surgeries. Along with filming the surgeries she was also able to capture, interview, and document the life of people in North Korea.

North Korea is a communist country and is currently under the rule of Kim Jong Il. It is known as the "Hermit Kingdom", because of the government's successful attempt at keeping out anything foreign and allowing anything foreign to come in. The internet is banned. Cell phones are banned. And North Koreans teach their children to hate Americans and America. In the documentary, we see a mother singing a nursery rhyme with her young daughter that goes something like " The pathetic Americans kneel on the ground. They beg for mercy....." The country is basically isolated from the outside world. And Americans are not welcomed. North Koreans still blame America for the divide between North and South Korea. During her time there, Lisa Ling was the one and only American in the whole country.

People worship Kim Jong Il in a god-like way, that it's frightening. After successfully completing 1000+ cataract surgeries, the doctor that performed it was not thanked once. Instead each patient, ran to a picture of Kim Jong Il, praised him, thanked him, and vowed to do anything that he wanted them to do, and continuously talked about how indebted they are to him. I know a large part of it is due to fear. Many people fear the government, the soldiers, and fear for their lives and their family's lives and everything that at stake if they say anything against the ruler.

But the immense gratitude and loyalty that some people show their ruler makes you question and wonder sometimes what they are really feeling.One government minder that was escorting Ling and her camera crew around was extremely offended when one of the photographers laid on the ground in order to capture the full image of a statue depicting the "great" leader. He demanded that the photographer leave the country the next day.


What surprised me the post about the documentary (besides my lack of awareness) was how blinded, both literally and figuratively, the people of North Korea are. They have been brain washed to a remarkable extent that when questioned whether Kim Jong Il could do any wrong in their eyes, many stared baffle eyed at Lisa Ling, and said "We dont quite understand your question." Because in their eyes, he could do know wrong. The question made no sense to them. And I am well aware that there is only so much that they can do for themselves without putting their lives in danger. And when you are only being fed one thing over and over and over, after a certain period of time you become immune and accustomed to it. It becomes your life. Your only chance at survival, sometimes, is to accept it.

This documentary was filmed four years ago in 2006. The state of North Korea now? Probably still the same.

So as not to make this post super long, I just want to end here by saying that it's most peculiar that people are so quick to point fingers and accuse others of oppression/being oppressed. It makes one wonder why those same people dont raise more awareness of things like this, governments like this, rulers like this, that openly and belligerently restrict and suppress their people.


P.S. You can watch the full documentary here:

Oh the Stupidity

How can I not be worried? I turned on the radio this morning, like

every morning, and tuned into the "Top 40" station. This one is my

least favorite and I only listen to that if the other station is on commercial

break. Most of their topics involve sex or something related and I

can't be bothered with listening to that early in the morning.

I mean, who talks about that in the morning? Who talks about that, at all?

So what I hear today is a married couple nervously phoning into the station

as part of this new segment. I'm thinking why are they so nervous, something bad

must have happened or maybe their marriage is in trouble and they want advice.

Wrong! They were extremely nervous because they had entered their homemade

"sex tape" (I thought only celebrities had those?) into the station. The show producers/DJ's

then take that DVD along with 2 other random DVD's (Disney movies) and shuffle everything up.

Then, the wife was called in to randomly select one of the DVD's. Whatever she picked, would be sentto a person of her choice. She picked the random DVD and then she picked her mother-in-law. MIL!!! (By now I'm already so disgusted by all this). Normally I would switch stations at

such a point (when I feel like they've crossed a line, which is most of the time with this station), but I wanted to know why on earth would anyone put themselves through something like this?

So now the DVD was being hand delivered to the mother in law (at 8 am in the morning, mind you). Obviously the couple was REALLY nervous because they were barely speaking

and they kept saying "omg I'm nervous." And I'm thinking didn't you put yourself in this

position in the first place... and um question of the year...WHY? In the end, the mother in law

played the dvd (not knowing why it was sent to her or what was in it) and lucky for them

it turned out it was Bambi. The wife lucked out because her random selection was not the sex tape. The mother in law was pretty confused and didn't understand what was going on or why her son and daughter in law sounded ecstatic that she was watching Bambi.

Finally the DJ announces the couple has won tickets to the Eminem and Jay Z concert.

THE EMINEM AND JAY Z CONCERT?!?!?!??!?!

I'm thinking ()(*%(*_(#_()_#%@^&*^&*^#_@)$(_)(!!!!!!)

That's what they did that for?

SOOOOOOOOO lame and idiotic and lame to the infinite power.

Is this how lame our country is becoming? Sex is prevalent everywhere, even on

an 8 am radio talk show, which by the way could be playing in a car full of kids going to school in a few weeks! It makes me so angry and frankly, worried.

How is this even allowed? If they absolutely have to have that topic maybe they

can make it a late night segment so no sane person has to hear it. And also for the participants, what kind of message exactly are you sending to people? Is everything so open now in society that you're willing to display your most intimate moments for anyone to see? That too, for some concert??!?!

Why can't people save up and buy tickets like the old days? How disrespectful to the mother in law (and disgusting) to receive that "gift"?? How lame is that husband who doesn't mind sending

in a tape for strange men and women (basically everyone at the radio station) to see? Which by the way,the men were commenting on while airing their show live, about how interesting and "raunchy" it was.

To me that couple is idiotic. Also, Eminem and Jay Z are not exactly national heros (in my opinion), why so much attention?

This radio show has done similar segments before and usually its their morning slot, I know because I've flipped stations tons of times while driving to work. I just can't stand when they talk like that and there's no benefit in listening to it, for anyone! More than that, I just don't want to participate in giving their station any ratings because they obviously don't deserve it.

Is this a problem in other cities as well? Are your radio stations crossing the line?

Is anybody else as worried as I am about our future and how hard it will be to raise kids here?


-Artistic Logic

"Ground Zero Mosque" or Pentagon Chapel?

Just weeks away from the 9-year anniversary of the September 11 attacks, controversy brews in New York City over the building of an Islamic cultural center at Park51, nearly two blocks away from Ground Zero, where 2,700 people were killed.

The measure was taken to the city's Landmark's Preservation Commission, which approved the building of the cultural center 9-0, said the New York Times.

According to www.park51.org, the vision of the community center includes, "pluralism, service, arts and culture, education and empowerment, appreciation for our city and a deep respect for our planet," to allow an "accessible platform for conversations across our identities."

Those who lost loved ones, neighbors and Republicans have been opposing the building of the cultural center - noting sensitivity issues such as "giving the terrorists a reason to cheer" being one of the main concerns.

Supporters have raised the flag of tolerance for religion freedom.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York said, Muslims have the right to practice religious freedom, reported the Huffington Post.

"We may not always agree with every one of our neighbors. That's life and it's part of living in such a diverse and dense city. But we also recognize that part of being a New Yorker is living with your neighbors in mutual respect and tolerance. It was exactly that spirit of openness and acceptance that was attacked on 9/11," he said.

"Let us not forget that Muslims were among those murdered on 9/11 and that our Muslim neighbors grieved with us as New Yorkers and as Americans. We would betray our values - and play into our enemies' hands - if we were to treat Muslims differently than anyone else. In fact, to cave to popular sentiment would be to hand a victory to the terrorists - and we should not stand for that."

President Barack Obama echoed the message of religious freedom, putting the issue of whether to continue the project, on a national scale.

"Ground Zero is indeed hallowed ground. But let me be clear. As a citizen and as president, I believe that Muslims have the right to practice their religion as everyone else in this country, and that includes the right to build a place of worship in a community center on private property in lower Manhattan," said the president, reported the Voice of America News.



While House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she supports the constitutional right to freedom of religion, she is concerned about the funds of the project, reported CBS News.

"Pelosi told KCBS is San Francisco yesterday that she joins "those who have called for looking into how is this opposition to the mosque being funded." She added: "How is this being ginned up?"

In a follow-up statement today on the project - an Islamic cultural center that includes a mosque called the Cordoba House that would be built two blocks from the site of the Sept. 11 attacks - Pelosi said the location of the project is a "local decision," though "the freedom of religion is a Constitutional right."

She said that she agrees with the Interfaith Alliance and Anti-Defamation League that the funding for the project should be transparent, as well as this portion of a statement from those groups: "At the same time, we should also ask who is funding the attacks against the construction of the center."

From a different set of eyes

While all eyes are on Ground Zero, Muslims are praying freely at the Pentagon Memorial Chapel, where 184 people were killed on September 11, 2001, reported CNN.com.

The building was created in November 2002, giving space to all religious groups to practice freely.

"United in memory, September 11, 2001," it reads.

"The chapel contains 80 seats and has regularly scheduled religious services on weekdays, including Catholic confession and Mass, a Jewish service and Torah study, a Hindu service, a Mormon service and services for other Christian denominations, along with the Muslim prayer service.

"I've never had a question about it" in four-plus years at the Pentagon, Army spokesman George Wright said.

The Army culture of religious freedom dates back to the Revolutionary War, Wright said, describing it as "a big tent."

"We're very tolerant here of one another and our faith," he said. "We don't keep track of who comes in."

Peace, Journalist.