Since I've had more free time these past few days I have been busy reading. And running. And reading. And sleeping. And reading and reading. Oh, and more reading. The result? I've been staying up too late reading, getting up too late, my run is about 4 hours later than it should be. Everything is later. The days are ending sooner so by 5 pm it feels as though I have done nothing all day, which I have not.
The problem with me is that everything looked so tempting to me before I had all this time on my hands. I made a list of things I wanted to do. I had a plan and it was to be awesome. Now that I found my books, aka my friends, I am holed up in my bedroom reading until the book's finished. I do not care for TV or movies, I do not care to eat out or cook. I'm not depressed, I just don't see the hype anymore. All these things I have been itching to do when I could not, do not look like they're worth the scratch. What does look tempting is studying. I am crazy. I know.
I've been reading The Hunger Games. I'm not good at book reviews, but I'll give you guys my opinion of the books and the movie in a post soon. Once I finished The Hunger Games I moved on to Catching Fire. I finished it in a day. I let it consume me until I finished it.
Reading is good. Everything can be good in moderation. But in excess it can be not so good. I guess that's my nature. I obsess over things until they are done. I obsessed over studying until I was completely done. I didn't go out and enjoy myself. I didn't enjoy life. I obsess over reading, until there's nothing left to read. I like to completely immerse myself in projects until they are completed. I clean until there's nothing else to clean. I seem to have an obsessive personality.
Despite me plowing forward until completion, I do not feel productive. To me, the way to feel so is to check things off my to-do list. This is also wrong. I jump from one extreme to the other. I guess I am going to be a workaholic when I get a job. But I don't want to be. I want to be able to enjoy my life at the same time. I need to step back, take in a breath of fresh air and enjoy the view, the big picture.
Maybe I should make a to-do list of things like "relax", "Call a friend", "bake something" and "take a walk outside". Things that feed my soul more than my mind. That way I can relax my obsessive mind by checking off things as well as nourishing my soul.
Never doubt that a small group of people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has- M.M.
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Friday, December 7, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
Pray for me :)

The last few days have been gloomy and full of rain showers. I usually LOVE the rain, but after a few days of no sun, it can really get to me. I think I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm studying all day errday that makes me sad and stressed. Taking away the sun just adds to my mood.
Muslims also believe that the rain is a mercy and a good time to ask God for help, stuff or anything else. Usually when it's raining I'll get a text, read a tweet or get an email from one of my Muslim friends saying, "It's raining, remember to pray for me, too!" I'm also guilty of doing the above.
I do love thunderstorms, though. I like it when the whole house gets quiet and peaceful, despite the cracking thunder outside and the flashes of lightning. I like to be at home curled up with a good book and some herbal tea. I also like to go online and read blogs, maybe even get inspired to posts here.
Which reminds me: we received a comment on an earlier post regarding our presence in the blogosphere by Silly Billy, "i missed the stories here and there but you guys need to update and let others know you're updating too"
I am going to reply to that here, because I'm sure others might be thinking and suggesting we do the same. I know I did. I am trying to make an attempt to be regularly posting on here, but I'm not really commenting on other blogs, nor am I promoting new posts {I am not sure about the other authors} because I myself am pretty busy and can't expect much traffic or comments from our readers and other bloggers simply because I do not have time to write comments on other blogs. I don't want to be at the receiving end and not give anything in return. So I'll probably be a lot more active in the blogging world soon after my last exam. Which will be soon, I hope!
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Saturday, September 29, 2012
Appreciate what you have, not what you had
A lot of times I wonder what would have happened if my life didn't change. Or that I'd like to take myself back a few stages of my life in live there forever. Man is rarely completely satisfied with what he has. I was having a conversation with a friend and she was wishing she had waited before moving to the next phase of her life. Wishing she could go back to how things were. I sympathized with her, and wished I could move back a few years myself and relive those days that seemed so stress free.
But then I realized that every stage of life has stress or a concern or a worry. I just don't remember this fact when I have new worries and concerns to think about. I tend to only remember the good in the past. And focus on the "bad" in the present.
I am here today because of what happened in the past. I am who I am right now because of past experiences, joys and sorrows. If not, I'd be stuck in the past and wouldn't have accomplished what I have. And then I'd be sad that I was stuck in a rut and not moving on with my life. See? As I've stated earlier, Man can never be completely satisfied with his situation.
When this phase is over I will begin a new chapter of my life and wish that I could be where I am right now. Alhamdulillah, there is nothing wrong in my life right now, it's just stress. I should start counting my blessings; anything that makes me happy or feel good. A minimum of three a day. I'll try to do this as regularly as possible, but I'll probably need reminders! And I'll post them up here, aside from a few blog posts per month. {Edit: I'll start slow in regards to posting them here, but at least once a week}
Let's start with today, even though it is only 5:35 pm:
1. I ate a dosa. It's an Indian version of a savory crepe. Not everyone can make these right, the Indian restaurant here does not serve them and today I had the pleasure of eating one. Homemade and from scratch, made with love, eaten with love.
2. The weather today was a little warmer than the cold we've gotten this week and it felt to nice to feel the warm sun on my back.
3. I had pain in my foot and side before I started running this morning. I didn't want to miss today's run, so I decided to run anyways. But the pain stopped shortly after I started and I felt good after.
OK these are not so exciting, but I am a normal person and normal things happen to me. I'm just being real here. ;)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
If only it were that simple..
The other day my students and I were playing SPARKLE, a spelling game I introduced to them a couple of months ago. For some reason, they loveee this game. And I really appreciate playing it with them and seeing them get enthusiastic about it, because it's educational and they practice lots of spelling with it and they eagerly anticipate the days when we play it. The object of the game is to be the last one standing when all the words have been spelled and all is said and done.
In the midst of playing SPARKLE, and waiting for the students to spell the word tornado, a little hand goes up in the air and seeks my attention.
"Yes, N. What do you need?"
"I just wanted to say that yesterday in Alabama there was a really, really bad tornado."
"Yeah, it's very, very, very sad because a lot of people lost their lives."
"I also just wanted to say that my grandmother died in that tornado."
Left speechless, after a minute or two and not knowing how to react properly, I said the first thing that came to my mind.
" Wow. I dont know what to say. I'm so, so, so, incredibly sorry......"
"...... Would you like a hug?"
"Yes, please"
And I put my arms around her and I give her a tight squeeze which she returned with a bigger squeeze.
"You alright?"
"Yes. I feel better."
And so, as silly as it may sound, I wish I could reach out to the people in Alabama, in Japan, in New Zealand, in Haiti, in Syria, in Egypt, in Yemen, in Palestine, in any part of the world, high, low, where tragedy and misfortune has befallen, and just give them a huge hug. And tell them that I am so sorry for their pain and for their loss. And tell them that somehow, someway, everything is going to be okay.
God willing.
And as Controlled Chaos said before, May God grant peace, mercy, strength, and guidance to all those that are suffering and enduring such difficult times.
Ameen.
In the midst of playing SPARKLE, and waiting for the students to spell the word tornado, a little hand goes up in the air and seeks my attention.
"Yes, N. What do you need?"
"I just wanted to say that yesterday in Alabama there was a really, really bad tornado."
"Yeah, it's very, very, very sad because a lot of people lost their lives."
"I also just wanted to say that my grandmother died in that tornado."
Left speechless, after a minute or two and not knowing how to react properly, I said the first thing that came to my mind.
" Wow. I dont know what to say. I'm so, so, so, incredibly sorry......"
"...... Would you like a hug?"
"Yes, please"
And I put my arms around her and I give her a tight squeeze which she returned with a bigger squeeze.
"You alright?"
"Yes. I feel better."
And so, as silly as it may sound, I wish I could reach out to the people in Alabama, in Japan, in New Zealand, in Haiti, in Syria, in Egypt, in Yemen, in Palestine, in any part of the world, high, low, where tragedy and misfortune has befallen, and just give them a huge hug. And tell them that I am so sorry for their pain and for their loss. And tell them that somehow, someway, everything is going to be okay.
God willing.
And as Controlled Chaos said before, May God grant peace, mercy, strength, and guidance to all those that are suffering and enduring such difficult times.
Ameen.
Labels:
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Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tales of a Teacher: The Good, the Bad, and the Really Ugly
I'm back? But I haven't really gone anywhere.
I dont know why I've been MIA lately. No particular reason other than the fact that I dont know what to write about...I guess..
There are moments when thoughts creep in my head, and I'm like "Oooooo, post worthy!!" But then I forget, or I think it's not post worthy, or I think it's not post worthy and I force myself to forget about it. I dont like feeling that way, cause then I feel like I'm limiting and restricting myself and my thoughts. Which isn't really cool, nor fair.
Anyways, one of my students stole from me today. It broke my heart. For like a second. Then my broken heart turned into rage. I just dont understand how things like this happen.
I had a oatmeal pie at work today. Took it with me to K's classroom, where the first grade crew likes to hang out and have lunch. I hadn't been feeling so well, so I decided not to consume the oatmeal pie. Instead I brought it back with me to eat later. I set it on my semi circle table and continued reading the next chapter of Charlotte's Web in commemoration of Reading Month. After finishing the most recent chapter, I send a couple of student's to the semi circle table so we can continue our lesson. And I go to reach for my oatmeal pie, and it's not there.
"Where's my oatmeal pie?"
"I dont know"
"I didnt see it."
"What oatmeal pie?"
"I left it right here. It didnt just grow legs and walk away. Did you guys see it?"
"No"
"Nope.
Then, I see it. The smirk. The smirk that I know so well. The smirk from M. The one that I've gotten to know oh so well.
"Can you empty your pockets?"
While emptying his pockets and pulling out an oatmeal pie, M says, "My friend, D, gave me this."
Turns out D didn't even come to school today. And he carried on the lie with saying that D gave it to him yesterday. To make a long story short, M was sent to the office with a referral and the possibility of being suspended.
This has nothing to do with him stealing a cookie. Yes, it is just a cookie. Yes, he might have been hungry. Yes, he might be deprived of sweets at home. Yes, he is only seven years old. Yes, he may not really have known what he was doing. Yes, he may really have gotten it from someone else. Yes, he may have been scared and not really have known what to say.
Yes, for a bunch of other things.
But I have never felt so betrayed by one of my students. Things like this dont happen in my classroom. You hear about things like this from your colleagues, and you thank your God that your students know better than that. They know right from wrong. They have good morals.
And no matter what excuse you may give him, it just doesnt justify his stealing and then lying about it.
It makes me feel like I've taught him nothing this whole year.
I dont know why I've been MIA lately. No particular reason other than the fact that I dont know what to write about...I guess..
There are moments when thoughts creep in my head, and I'm like "Oooooo, post worthy!!" But then I forget, or I think it's not post worthy, or I think it's not post worthy and I force myself to forget about it. I dont like feeling that way, cause then I feel like I'm limiting and restricting myself and my thoughts. Which isn't really cool, nor fair.
Anyways, one of my students stole from me today. It broke my heart. For like a second. Then my broken heart turned into rage. I just dont understand how things like this happen.
I had a oatmeal pie at work today. Took it with me to K's classroom, where the first grade crew likes to hang out and have lunch. I hadn't been feeling so well, so I decided not to consume the oatmeal pie. Instead I brought it back with me to eat later. I set it on my semi circle table and continued reading the next chapter of Charlotte's Web in commemoration of Reading Month. After finishing the most recent chapter, I send a couple of student's to the semi circle table so we can continue our lesson. And I go to reach for my oatmeal pie, and it's not there.
"Where's my oatmeal pie?"
"I dont know"
"I didnt see it."
"What oatmeal pie?"
"I left it right here. It didnt just grow legs and walk away. Did you guys see it?"
"No"
"Nope.
Then, I see it. The smirk. The smirk that I know so well. The smirk from M. The one that I've gotten to know oh so well.
"Can you empty your pockets?"
While emptying his pockets and pulling out an oatmeal pie, M says, "My friend, D, gave me this."
Turns out D didn't even come to school today. And he carried on the lie with saying that D gave it to him yesterday. To make a long story short, M was sent to the office with a referral and the possibility of being suspended.
This has nothing to do with him stealing a cookie. Yes, it is just a cookie. Yes, he might have been hungry. Yes, he might be deprived of sweets at home. Yes, he is only seven years old. Yes, he may not really have known what he was doing. Yes, he may really have gotten it from someone else. Yes, he may have been scared and not really have known what to say.
Yes, for a bunch of other things.
But I have never felt so betrayed by one of my students. Things like this dont happen in my classroom. You hear about things like this from your colleagues, and you thank your God that your students know better than that. They know right from wrong. They have good morals.
And no matter what excuse you may give him, it just doesnt justify his stealing and then lying about it.
It makes me feel like I've taught him nothing this whole year.
Friday, March 11, 2011
peep peep
Since Muslims do not eat piggies or pig products, I've never tasted peeps. There are halal marshmallows out there, but I haven't come across halal peeps. I went to an Islamic school when I was younger and this girl would show up with peeps around Easter every year. She was Muslim, too, but I think her parents didn't want her and her sister to feel left out or something because they celebrated all religious holidays.
So she would come in with her yellow, fluffy, cutie pie peeps and the rest of us would watch as she stuffed them in her mouth. Of course, she offered, but none of us ate it. I'm surprised, now that I think of it. I mean, we were kids after all. I could've taken a bite and no one would know. But I was a goody goody and just gloomily watched. So her and the non-Muslim girl would bond over peeps while the rest of us would only dream of what they tasted like. But then we'd forget by recess. Until the next day.
I'm still curious. Do they taste like regular marshmallows? Someone enlighten me. I'm dying here.
I think these are cute. And check out some more at the peeps show II over here. :)
So she would come in with her yellow, fluffy, cutie pie peeps and the rest of us would watch as she stuffed them in her mouth. Of course, she offered, but none of us ate it. I'm surprised, now that I think of it. I mean, we were kids after all. I could've taken a bite and no one would know. But I was a goody goody and just gloomily watched. So her and the non-Muslim girl would bond over peeps while the rest of us would only dream of what they tasted like. But then we'd forget by recess. Until the next day.
I'm still curious. Do they taste like regular marshmallows? Someone enlighten me. I'm dying here.
I think these are cute. And check out some more at the peeps show II over here. :)
Speaking of marshmallows, I advise everyone against playing Chubby Bunny. Especially while intoxicated. You CAN die. And wikipedia only states two deaths due to the game, but trust me, more people have actually died. I think some marshmallow companies tell you to eat one at a time, too.
I was going to blog about other, more serious things going on in the world. But after seeing what happened in Japan and viewing photos and watching videos of the quake, I decided I couldn't do it.
Is it just me or does med school/grad school {even though I'm out} make people super depressed in general. And to hear about depressing things everywhere you turn has a super additive effect and I get into super depression. Then all I want to do is drink tea and sit in the corner and not talk to anyone forever.
But to me, ignorance would be worse. The only good thing about being depressed about world issues is that at least I still care. At least I'm not desensitized to everything other than myself. Even though I feel like it since I haven't been out of the house in days, in front of the computer studying. Like CC said in her post below in number 8, I think people might hate me. Or maybe they think I hate them. {So, to my friends, I heart you all. I'm just busy with studying. And other junk you know about anyways.}
Peace {somewhere out there}
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Gobble Gobble
Its that time of year again.
When everyone goes home, spends time with family, eats turkey and stuffing, and thinks about the things they're grateful for.
Sounds all beautiful and flowery.
But there's a group of people in our country who don't join us in this turkey/gratitude celebration. Instead these people mourn this day as it commemorates the genocide of thousands of their ancestors.
The Native Americans.
The people who were here first living a peaceful life until the pilgrims came and exploited them then wrote down in history how amazing their relationship was and how everyone sat together on a long table on Thanksgiving and ate food they grew together.
So this Thursday, while we're eating our turkeys, lets think back and make a prayer for the amazing Native Americans who were massacred unjustly in our early history.
When everyone goes home, spends time with family, eats turkey and stuffing, and thinks about the things they're grateful for.
Sounds all beautiful and flowery.
But there's a group of people in our country who don't join us in this turkey/gratitude celebration. Instead these people mourn this day as it commemorates the genocide of thousands of their ancestors.
The Native Americans.
The people who were here first living a peaceful life until the pilgrims came and exploited them then wrote down in history how amazing their relationship was and how everyone sat together on a long table on Thanksgiving and ate food they grew together.
So this Thursday, while we're eating our turkeys, lets think back and make a prayer for the amazing Native Americans who were massacred unjustly in our early history.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Men in India
*Disclaimer* What I write is based of what I hear or see. But I don’t know many men personally in this country {Three, actually} to generalize and say all are like this. I do know that this is a problem in India, it does occur and that it should be addressed. So until I have money or power or the ability to help in some big way, I am going to you readers about this issue. And maybe you can throw out a little prayer to the ones who have to deal with such people day in and day out.
Hate is a strong word, especially when I’m generalizing in this post. So I’ll have to say I highly dislike the men of India. Old men, young men, middle men. Etcetera etcetera.
Most of India is poor. Last time I checked, over forty percent of the population was below the poverty line. The rich keep getting richer and the poor even poorer. They are uneducated and many of them don’t know the importance of getting an education. Or maybe they know do, but they also know that an even if they pass their tenth standard exams they can’t afford college; and a shot at a better life. So they stay illiterate. What’s the point, right? The government schools aren’t any good. To their credit they have started a mid-day meal program here to encourage parents to send their kids to school. A free meal and a free education. Most just come for the meal. Otherwise they won’t get anything at home.
However, I can’t accredit education and illiteracy for the behavior of many of the married men in this country. Even the educated or wealthy ones {these two are not related} act like such jerks. It drives me insane. The way they treat their wives here is so upsetting.
Will you believe me if I told you on the way to school I saw a man kicking a woman in the face in broad daylight? She was on the ground and I couldn’t tell that what he was kicking was actually a who until later, after it set in. I say his wife because people don’t get involved with husband-wife relationships. Even if it has to do with domestic violence. Maybe if they were boyfriend-girlfriend. The police generally do not get involved. Fortunately, the times are changing, and I hope they’re changing in this regard as well. So I assumed it was his wife because people were walking around them, not really offering help to the woman.
My experience with them is next to nothing. I know about them through the stories of many women. And I’m very grateful that I don’t have to deal with them. But it sucks because so many women out there do.
I might not know much but I do know that something’s not right when the maid will come to work with a swollen face and blue and black bruises on her arms and legs.
I will know something's not right when she comes with cuts on her face and walks with a limp.
I will know something's not right when a man desert his wife {even the educated class, including doctors and engineers & lawyers} when she gives birth to a daughter instead of a son. This has happened to a few people we know, actually. And it really sucks. I mean, REALLY? Are you really blaming your wife?? Some men don’t leave their wives. They just make them have baby after baby until they have a son. Sons here are considered valuable, because after marriage the daughter goes off to her husband’s family, while the son stays with his wife and takes care of his parents. Interesting tangent: Sex determination is illegal in India because most of the time they couple will go for an abortion in the case of a girl. India has more males than females.
I will know something isn’t right when my maid tells me her husband spends most of the money on booze and he cannot sleep without it. If there is no money for booze, he cannot sleep. No one is allowed to sleep that night either because he was denied “his right”. No one is allowed to sit. They have to stand all night long. It’s ridiculous. He does not work. He sends his wife and daughters out to earn and takes it all. But this fact must be hidden from the extended family. It’s still looked down on here if the women of the household must work. It looks bad on the man’s part. It’s seen as if he can’t earn and provide for them. Random tangent: my mother is generally not old school but still feels this way and would not let me get a job in the mall in high school. She said I’m not allowed to work until I get a proper college education and a “dignified” job.
I can’t speak for many of them and I know that there are good and bad people everywhere. The good tends to outweigh the bad and I tend to see the glad half empty on certain issues. But why don’t people get involved to stop such actions? Why don’t I get involved? The thing is, a divorced woman here will have a hard time remarrying. Sad but true. Since she is most likely illiterate she won’t be able to support herself, earning a maximum of 1,200 rupees a month as a full time maid. Twenty-five dollars and some cents. Will her family take her back or will they be shamed that they have a divorced daughter?
But I will not be sensitized to these horrible incidents. But it’s still going to make me unhappy after hearing story after tragic story. It’s not something I’ve gotten used to these past five years. And I don’t plan on getting used to it. So for these reasons I hate the men here in general. It’s not fair for me to do so, but I will.
There are good men out there, too. There are men who work so so hard to earn an honest living. They work long hours, come home dead tired, but still have time to spend with their families. They do everything they can to make their kids smile. {This information I have gathered from Bollywood films} Men here are also family oriented. They respect their parents and blood ties aren’t severed so quickly.Children are safe in the hands of men here. Pedophilia isn’t as rampant as it is in the States.
The prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said, “The best among you is he who is best to his wife.” In many cultures men are seen as the protectors of women. But who does one turn to if their protector has deserted them?
I am so grateful that I my father is the way he is. I'm grateful to have someone who loves his family, does what he can to give them financial and emotional security. I'm glad to have someone in my life who goes out of his way to keep his kids and family happy.
I feel bad after writing this. I really do. I don’t know many men here and my opinion of them are solely based off stories I hear from friends, family, the maids and a few observations. People tend to talk when there’s something amiss and the boring happy stories are usually ignored. Happy gossip isn’t as juicy as sad gossip, you know. So this is based off what I hear and have observed, but I can be wrong about them. I hope I am, but I honestly don’t think so.
* * *
Most of India is poor. Last time I checked, over forty percent of the population was below the poverty line. The rich keep getting richer and the poor even poorer. They are uneducated and many of them don’t know the importance of getting an education. Or maybe they know do, but they also know that an even if they pass their tenth standard exams they can’t afford college; and a shot at a better life. So they stay illiterate. What’s the point, right? The government schools aren’t any good. To their credit they have started a mid-day meal program here to encourage parents to send their kids to school. A free meal and a free education. Most just come for the meal. Otherwise they won’t get anything at home.
However, I can’t accredit education and illiteracy for the behavior of many of the married men in this country. Even the educated or wealthy ones {these two are not related} act like such jerks. It drives me insane. The way they treat their wives here is so upsetting.
Will you believe me if I told you on the way to school I saw a man kicking a woman in the face in broad daylight? She was on the ground and I couldn’t tell that what he was kicking was actually a who until later, after it set in. I say his wife because people don’t get involved with husband-wife relationships. Even if it has to do with domestic violence. Maybe if they were boyfriend-girlfriend. The police generally do not get involved. Fortunately, the times are changing, and I hope they’re changing in this regard as well. So I assumed it was his wife because people were walking around them, not really offering help to the woman.
My experience with them is next to nothing. I know about them through the stories of many women. And I’m very grateful that I don’t have to deal with them. But it sucks because so many women out there do.
I might not know much but I do know that something’s not right when the maid will come to work with a swollen face and blue and black bruises on her arms and legs.
I will know something's not right when she comes with cuts on her face and walks with a limp.
I will know something's not right when a man desert his wife {even the educated class, including doctors and engineers & lawyers} when she gives birth to a daughter instead of a son. This has happened to a few people we know, actually. And it really sucks. I mean, REALLY? Are you really blaming your wife?? Some men don’t leave their wives. They just make them have baby after baby until they have a son. Sons here are considered valuable, because after marriage the daughter goes off to her husband’s family, while the son stays with his wife and takes care of his parents. Interesting tangent: Sex determination is illegal in India because most of the time they couple will go for an abortion in the case of a girl. India has more males than females.
I will know something isn’t right when my maid tells me her husband spends most of the money on booze and he cannot sleep without it. If there is no money for booze, he cannot sleep. No one is allowed to sleep that night either because he was denied “his right”. No one is allowed to sit. They have to stand all night long. It’s ridiculous. He does not work. He sends his wife and daughters out to earn and takes it all. But this fact must be hidden from the extended family. It’s still looked down on here if the women of the household must work. It looks bad on the man’s part. It’s seen as if he can’t earn and provide for them. Random tangent: my mother is generally not old school but still feels this way and would not let me get a job in the mall in high school. She said I’m not allowed to work until I get a proper college education and a “dignified” job.
I can’t speak for many of them and I know that there are good and bad people everywhere. The good tends to outweigh the bad and I tend to see the glad half empty on certain issues. But why don’t people get involved to stop such actions? Why don’t I get involved? The thing is, a divorced woman here will have a hard time remarrying. Sad but true. Since she is most likely illiterate she won’t be able to support herself, earning a maximum of 1,200 rupees a month as a full time maid. Twenty-five dollars and some cents. Will her family take her back or will they be shamed that they have a divorced daughter?
But I will not be sensitized to these horrible incidents. But it’s still going to make me unhappy after hearing story after tragic story. It’s not something I’ve gotten used to these past five years. And I don’t plan on getting used to it. So for these reasons I hate the men here in general. It’s not fair for me to do so, but I will.
There are good men out there, too. There are men who work so so hard to earn an honest living. They work long hours, come home dead tired, but still have time to spend with their families. They do everything they can to make their kids smile. {This information I have gathered from Bollywood films} Men here are also family oriented. They respect their parents and blood ties aren’t severed so quickly.Children are safe in the hands of men here. Pedophilia isn’t as rampant as it is in the States.
The prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said, “The best among you is he who is best to his wife.” In many cultures men are seen as the protectors of women. But who does one turn to if their protector has deserted them?
I am so grateful that I my father is the way he is. I'm grateful to have someone who loves his family, does what he can to give them financial and emotional security. I'm glad to have someone in my life who goes out of his way to keep his kids and family happy.
I feel bad after writing this. I really do. I don’t know many men here and my opinion of them are solely based off stories I hear from friends, family, the maids and a few observations. People tend to talk when there’s something amiss and the boring happy stories are usually ignored. Happy gossip isn’t as juicy as sad gossip, you know. So this is based off what I hear and have observed, but I can be wrong about them. I hope I am, but I honestly don’t think so.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Pakistan is drowning while we're sleeping.
I'm sure most of you have heard about the HORRIBLE flood that hit 1/3 of the country of Pakistan last month. Oh, wait...you don't know what's going on? Of course you wouldn't...because the American media is too busy broadcasting about the "ground zero mosque" or interviewing the "priest" who wants to burn the Quran....or telling us about everything else ridiculously irrelevant in relation to what's happening to our brothers and sisters on the other side of the world.
Yes, they're in need. ONE FIFTH OF THE COUNTRY IS UNDERWATER. 20 million people are affected. Thousands have died. Conditions are not safe yet. People are continuously dieing, they've lost their homes, not enough food to eat...their water is impure. Water, something I drink everyday without having to think twice about. SubhanAllah.
It's very upsetting that the media isn't covering it to the extent they did when Haiti was hit with the earthquake. It makes me think: is it because Pakistan is a muslim country? Is it because Osama is supposedly hiding out there? Is it because Pakistan and US are not on good terms? Is it because the deathtoll isn't as high as it was in Haiti? WHAT IS IT? Flood/earthquake/tsunami/hurricane...muslims/christians/thiests/athiests...why does it matter?
Human life is sacred.
Please open your hearts and donate. You can do it through Red Cross, Islamic Relief, through your local temple/church/mosque/any house of worship. Any amount is meaningful in the eyes of God, as long as your intention is pure. And if you don't have the means, please spread the word and pray for them. That is sufficient for God too.



- Somebody out there
Yes, they're in need. ONE FIFTH OF THE COUNTRY IS UNDERWATER. 20 million people are affected. Thousands have died. Conditions are not safe yet. People are continuously dieing, they've lost their homes, not enough food to eat...their water is impure. Water, something I drink everyday without having to think twice about. SubhanAllah.
It's very upsetting that the media isn't covering it to the extent they did when Haiti was hit with the earthquake. It makes me think: is it because Pakistan is a muslim country? Is it because Osama is supposedly hiding out there? Is it because Pakistan and US are not on good terms? Is it because the deathtoll isn't as high as it was in Haiti? WHAT IS IT? Flood/earthquake/tsunami/hurricane...muslims/christians/thiests/athiests...why does it matter?
Human life is sacred.
Please open your hearts and donate. You can do it through Red Cross, Islamic Relief, through your local temple/church/mosque/any house of worship. Any amount is meaningful in the eyes of God, as long as your intention is pure. And if you don't have the means, please spread the word and pray for them. That is sufficient for God too.



- Somebody out there
Monday, June 28, 2010
In Your Face
While walking out of the library I spotted two men and a woman in conversation. She sounded upset but I couldn't tell because she was talking low. As we got closer I guessed she was probably trying not to make a scene by yelling at one of the men in front of everyone.
And then
*Slapppp* across his face.
So much for not making a scene.
He didn't do anything. He just looked down and took it. I had to see who this woman was. She was older than him. Maybe his mother or sister, I couldn't tell. I turned to have a look at her face because if she was younger than him or his wife, he would probably gone all "Gurrrrl, I'm gonna CUT you" on her. Well that's my opinion, based off my observations here in the third world.
Anyways the point of my post was SHE SLAPPED HIM! I've never ever seen anyone slap anyone in the face ever. I got all ooh-drama-what-now/scared/sad/happy he didn't hit her back. I always wondered how it would feel to slap someone. Is that bad? Well, I'm a weakling so if I did it would probably tickle the person or something. Oh, I know, it doesn't matter how it feels, it's the principle of it. You just don't slap people in the face unless it's serious.
My friend wondered how it would feel, too.
Her: *Brother* come here for a minute.
Him: Yes, my dear older sister who I love so much and would do any-
Her: *slappp*
Him: Owwwww. *grabbing cheek* Why!??
Her: Sorry...I just wanted to know how it'd feel. Let me get you some ice.
True story.
And then
*Slapppp* across his face.
So much for not making a scene.
He didn't do anything. He just looked down and took it. I had to see who this woman was. She was older than him. Maybe his mother or sister, I couldn't tell. I turned to have a look at her face because if she was younger than him or his wife, he would probably gone all "Gurrrrl, I'm gonna CUT you" on her. Well that's my opinion, based off my observations here in the third world.
Anyways the point of my post was SHE SLAPPED HIM! I've never ever seen anyone slap anyone in the face ever. I got all ooh-drama-what-now/scared/sad/happy he didn't hit her back. I always wondered how it would feel to slap someone. Is that bad? Well, I'm a weakling so if I did it would probably tickle the person or something. Oh, I know, it doesn't matter how it feels, it's the principle of it. You just don't slap people in the face unless it's serious.
My friend wondered how it would feel, too.
Her: *Brother* come here for a minute.
Him: Yes, my dear older sister who I love so much and would do any-
Her: *slappp*
Him: Owwwww. *grabbing cheek* Why!??
Her: Sorry...I just wanted to know how it'd feel. Let me get you some ice.
True story.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Tales of a Teacher: Bittersweet Moments

So we are down to the final two days of school! It's been an excruciatingly long year for everyone involved. Alhamdullilah, I have made it through my first year of teaching. And had lots of ups and downs.
I came out of this experience knowing a helluva lot more than I knew going in.
Hey, that's what first years all about: LEARNING.
I made mistakes and will probably continue to make them. But it's something you move past and learn from.
Yesterday (the third day before the last day) I told my students that they would be doing a meet and greet session with their future second grade teacher. And I expected them to be really excited to leave the room for an hour (some were), but what I got from most of them wasnt excitement. It was tears.
About seven kids started crying and wanted to give me hugs. And I knew that they would be sad, but I really wasnt expecting tears. It was amusing, and bittersweet, at the same time. I'm going to miss my students. As much as I complained about them this year (maybe not as much on the blog as I should have) I grew attached to them, and they to me. We all became used to one another and the daily routine that we have/had going.
We all know/knew what to expect from one another and we grew together. As a class. We each learned something about one another and built a relationship of teacher and student. Now I have to let them go and begin a new chapter in my life. And so do they.
When I met my future 1st graders (the kindergartners) and they were sitting in my current first grader's seats, a moment passed where I had to readjust my thoughts and tell myself these kids are my priority now (or will be, come September). Here comes another change, and as all changes that come in my life, I'm really scared/sad. And not quite ready. I'm glad to have the summer to prepare myself for this and make the transition back into teaching a whole new set of children.
Just gotta go with the flow.
P.S. I am happy to inform you, though, that during the meet and greet, I already terrified the new first graders. :)
P.P.S. When I asked the new first graders if they had any questions for me, one student asked, "Why aren't you married?" HAHA
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Stop Treating Me Like a Criminal
I'm really upset. Truly disheartened. And above all, just annoyed.
I went shopping today with my mom and sisters. They all needed boots. So we went out to some shoe stores to look around. At Famous Footwear we started looking around at tall leather boots and those Uggish type of boots. Mom even tried one on but too bad the size was too small.
Anyhow, I looked over my shoulder and there was this lady who worked there standing by our aisle with wandering eye. She looked really uncomfortable. You know when you're standing and you have no idea where to put your hands? Or where to look? And so you whip out your cell phone and start texting random people or pretend you have something important to check? Yea, well she couldn't play with her cell phone on account of her working. But pretty much she looked strangely out of place. She kept glancing over at us while mom was trying on her shoes.
Finally 10 minutes later we decided there was nothing worth buying so we left. As we were walking off the lady watched us leave and finally walked away from where we were standing...she went back to the front of the store where she was originally stocking shoes.
Seriously?? The store had her stand there to watch us? Of course. Go watch the Muslim family because who knows what they might do!
Don't get me wrong...maybe she was standing there for some other reason but honestly she wouldn't have a strong alibi.
You know what upsets me the most? I am an American and yet sometimes I feel so unwelcome in my own home, in my own land. Once when I was in middle school the day after 9/11 some guy came up to me and said, "Go back home, raghead!!"
Where the hell would you like me to go back to, huh? I was born and raised right here. This is home and there's nowhere back to go to. And whenever I have gone to visit my parents original countries I feel completely out of place. Literally.
I have a lot more on my mind about the news lately and how media corrupts minds SO easily. But instead I think I'll cool off and eat ice cream instead. Woohoo for obesity!
I went shopping today with my mom and sisters. They all needed boots. So we went out to some shoe stores to look around. At Famous Footwear we started looking around at tall leather boots and those Uggish type of boots. Mom even tried one on but too bad the size was too small.
Anyhow, I looked over my shoulder and there was this lady who worked there standing by our aisle with wandering eye. She looked really uncomfortable. You know when you're standing and you have no idea where to put your hands? Or where to look? And so you whip out your cell phone and start texting random people or pretend you have something important to check? Yea, well she couldn't play with her cell phone on account of her working. But pretty much she looked strangely out of place. She kept glancing over at us while mom was trying on her shoes.
Finally 10 minutes later we decided there was nothing worth buying so we left. As we were walking off the lady watched us leave and finally walked away from where we were standing...she went back to the front of the store where she was originally stocking shoes.
Seriously?? The store had her stand there to watch us? Of course. Go watch the Muslim family because who knows what they might do!
Don't get me wrong...maybe she was standing there for some other reason but honestly she wouldn't have a strong alibi.
You know what upsets me the most? I am an American and yet sometimes I feel so unwelcome in my own home, in my own land. Once when I was in middle school the day after 9/11 some guy came up to me and said, "Go back home, raghead!!"
Where the hell would you like me to go back to, huh? I was born and raised right here. This is home and there's nowhere back to go to. And whenever I have gone to visit my parents original countries I feel completely out of place. Literally.
I have a lot more on my mind about the news lately and how media corrupts minds SO easily. But instead I think I'll cool off and eat ice cream instead. Woohoo for obesity!
Labels:
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Youthful's Wisdoms
Sunday, October 18, 2009
story of my life
Rep. Sue Myrick (R) of North Carolina
Rep. John Shadegg (R) of Arizona
Rep. Paul Broun (R) of Georgia
Rep. Trent Franks (R) of Arizona
What do these four Representatives have in common, other than the unfortunate choice in parties? They have all come out earlier this past week accusing CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations) of planting spies in the House and Senate as interns and pages. So um, who are they supposed to be reporting back to? Oh no, not al Qaida! Because obviously no political action group secure coveted internship positions for their youth so that god forbid these kids could grow up to become politicians themselves! Oh wait, I thought thats what democracy and activism were called.
These charges, not only picked up by the right wing media, eager to disseminate some much wanted vitriol, but have also resulted in CAIR receiving death threats. Now given the record of inflammatory and racist remarks that ALL four of these Republicans have indulged in in the past, I wouldn't normally pay to attention to their nonsense, unfortunately i've been roped into caring by friends/family who make it a point to show me every day how America hates Muslims- and of course I know there are people in this society who want to annihilate Islam, but I like to think/believe that they are a very LOUD minority- kind of like al-Qaida, or the Tea Party Activists.
But I digress, these charges are founded on a so called CAIR "memo" gathered by Chris Gaubatz, son of Dave Gaubatz- the co-author of the "Muslim Mafia: Inside the Secret Underworld That's Conspiring to Islamize America." Very credible source. Obviously. No bias there. Remember Rep. Myrick, of North Carolina? She wrote the forward to this book. What happened to the days when Representatives would actually be DAMAGED by these kinds of associations?? I miss those days.
What the hell has happened to the Republican party? They used to actually have interesting arguments- not necessarily my viewpoint, but not CRAZY either! Now they seem to be the party of bigots spreading their hate of people who don't look/act like them or who don't hold the same "ideals" (yaaay for guns) as them. And all justifying it by claiming "Its in the constitution!", apparently these men/women have forgotten the whole point of the GD constitutioN! The pursuit of religious freedom! The chance for EVERYONE to pursue happiness!! But I guess, what can I expect from the party who voted FOR rape.
I'm sorry all of you Republicans out there, because I wasn't born white/christian/conservative- and apparently i'm not "American" enough for you.
CAIR's mission statement: CAIR's mission is to enhance understanding of Islam, encourage dialogue, protect civil liberties, empower American Muslims, and build coalitions that promote justice and mutual understanding.
Rep. John Shadegg (R) of Arizona
Rep. Paul Broun (R) of Georgia
Rep. Trent Franks (R) of Arizona
What do these four Representatives have in common, other than the unfortunate choice in parties? They have all come out earlier this past week accusing CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations) of planting spies in the House and Senate as interns and pages. So um, who are they supposed to be reporting back to? Oh no, not al Qaida! Because obviously no political action group secure coveted internship positions for their youth so that god forbid these kids could grow up to become politicians themselves! Oh wait, I thought thats what democracy and activism were called.
These charges, not only picked up by the right wing media, eager to disseminate some much wanted vitriol, but have also resulted in CAIR receiving death threats. Now given the record of inflammatory and racist remarks that ALL four of these Republicans have indulged in in the past, I wouldn't normally pay to attention to their nonsense, unfortunately i've been roped into caring by friends/family who make it a point to show me every day how America hates Muslims- and of course I know there are people in this society who want to annihilate Islam, but I like to think/believe that they are a very LOUD minority- kind of like al-Qaida, or the Tea Party Activists.
But I digress, these charges are founded on a so called CAIR "memo" gathered by Chris Gaubatz, son of Dave Gaubatz- the co-author of the "Muslim Mafia: Inside the Secret Underworld That's Conspiring to Islamize America." Very credible source. Obviously. No bias there. Remember Rep. Myrick, of North Carolina? She wrote the forward to this book. What happened to the days when Representatives would actually be DAMAGED by these kinds of associations?? I miss those days.
What the hell has happened to the Republican party? They used to actually have interesting arguments- not necessarily my viewpoint, but not CRAZY either! Now they seem to be the party of bigots spreading their hate of people who don't look/act like them or who don't hold the same "ideals" (yaaay for guns) as them. And all justifying it by claiming "Its in the constitution!", apparently these men/women have forgotten the whole point of the GD constitutioN! The pursuit of religious freedom! The chance for EVERYONE to pursue happiness!! But I guess, what can I expect from the party who voted FOR rape.
I'm sorry all of you Republicans out there, because I wasn't born white/christian/conservative- and apparently i'm not "American" enough for you.
CAIR's mission statement: CAIR's mission is to enhance understanding of Islam, encourage dialogue, protect civil liberties, empower American Muslims, and build coalitions that promote justice and mutual understanding.
Monday, October 5, 2009
A word to the Unwise.
Don't change for anyone.
Don't expect anyone to change for you.
You will be very unhappy.
- Falling Up.
*inspired by Grey's Anatomy season 3 finale*
Don't expect anyone to change for you.
You will be very unhappy.
- Falling Up.
*inspired by Grey's Anatomy season 3 finale*
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Gone Too Soon

This post is long overdue. I've been walking around broken-hearted for the past week and still I can't get my mind to wrap around the fact that Michael Jackson is gone.
I understand everyone may not feel me in this post, but then again most people don't even know him for his music, (the newer generations) only for what the tabloids spread about him.
The man was a genius and I am so sad that I won't hear anything new from him ever again. His choreography was so slick and he had every move perfected but I think he was way bigger than all that. That's what attracted me the most. Throughout his life I didn't know too much about him; all i knew was I've heard his music since I was 4. It was catchy and upbeat but I never looked beyond that. In high school I began to pay more attention to his lyrics. I would read them often and I realized how deep they were, and I had to respect him for that. That's when I became a fan.
He'd broken every record in music, yet the best one is creating charities every turn he took. His song "We Are the World" alone raised millions of dollars for Africa. Yet, without even knowing all these facts, I was always convinced he had a great character, but I'm sad.
I'm sad because it took his death for me to realize how much I liked him and I don't know if it's possible to "miss" someone you've never met ... but I do. *sigh*
You know MTV never played black music in their baby days? This was in the 80's, people!!! They wouldn't air a single black artists' video because it didn't fit the "style." But he was persistent and his video Billie Jean was the first time a black artist premiered on their show. He's also the visionary behind modern day music videos i.e. before his style came along, a singer would generally be standing around vocalizing. He was the one to come up with the idea of telling a "story." He's also the one who MADE the careers of singers like Whitney Houston, Prince, Usher, and so many others. Did I mention his music was DEEP? He would bring up the division of colors, crime, and a united human race.
I think I did, but I'll leave you with some lyrics from a few chosen songs:
They Don't Really Care About Us
Beat me, hate me, You can never break me. Will me, thrill me, You can never kill me. Do me, sue me, Everybody do me. Kick me, strike me, Don't you black or white me. All I wanna say is that they don't really care about us.
Black or White
Protection For gangs, clubs And nations Causing grief in Human relations Its a turf war On a global scale Id rather hear both sides Of the tale See, its not about races Just places Faces Where your blood Comes from Is where your space is Ive seen the bright Get duller Im not going to spend My life being a color
Bad
We can change the world tomorrow
This could be a better place
If you dont like what Im sayin
Then wont you slap my face . . .
Gone too Soon
Born to amuse
To inspire to delight
Here one day
Gone one night
Like a sunset
Dying with the rising of the moon
Gone too soon
Gone too soon
I truly hope the saying is true that "legends never die."
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