Frog Eggs {Chi Seeds}

Chia seeds are pretty popular in drinks in India. I always avoided them because I'd think of them as frog or fish eggs growing up. I imagine the texture to be slimy and thick as it goes down my throat. Eek! I don't even know how they taste. A few people I am subscribed to on YouTube have recently begun drinking chia drinks. I googled chia seeds a few minutes ago to find out that these are the same "fish eggs" my mom has been trying to get us to drink for years.


The photo on the left are the dry seeds. On the right is what they become after soaking in water. They seem to grow or develop a gelatinous membrane around them.

I think it's funny when healthy things become "trendy" when in many cultures, people have been doing the same things for centuries. Although I haven't taken advantage of chia seeds in the past, I did some research and don't mind giving it a try. However, I won't be running out to whole foods to buy the expensive drinks or seeds. They can be easily found at your local Indian/Pakistani store for cheaper.  The Mamma Chia drinks on the left are pretty popular, I guess. Because that's what first came up when I googles "chia seeds". They're pretty pricey per bottle, too.



My mom has been trying to get us to try them for more than two decades. Now that I see people on YouTube getting into it, so will I. Lame, right? I can see my mom rolling her eyes already haha. I'm not one to jump on the bandwagon, but I only became interested after finding out that this is what I've seen growing up. And I didn't realize it had so many health benefits. So I will give it a shot. :)

I'm going to list some health benefits of Chia seeds I found on a website. Click here to read the details.

1. Lose weight without starving
2. Balance blood sugar levels
3. Prevent diverticulosis/diverticulitis, especially in the elderly
4. great source of Omega-3
5. great source of anti-oxidants
6. use as substitutes on baking and cooking
7. control food cravings

And HERE are other ways to incorporate Chia seeds into your life. You can even use it as an egg substitute for baking! Apparently this works like Tofu - it's pretty tasteless and takes on the flavor and even enhances the flavor of whatever you put it in. 

Now, I'm not sure when or how I'll be using Chia seeds. But I thought it was interesting that things my Indian Culture has been using for centuries is only now becoming a trend. Same as Turmeric and other Indian spices and foods. 

If any of you have tried Chia Seeds, leave a comment below and let me know how you like it. Maybe that'll get some courage in me to try it. :)

Laughing Out Loud

My friend had an exam around this time and I told her I hoped the exam is so easy that she laughs through it. I didn't want to stress her out so I didn't mention the time I actually did laugh through an exam. I thought I'd share my anecdote on here. :)

Back in med school, we had an anatomy midterm. I studied for it like crazy. Usually histology accounts for about 2 points out of 40 for the exams so I didn't focus on that. Instead, I studied the gross anatomy like the location and relation of the organ to the rest of the body, blood supply, nerve supply, venous drainage, function etc. Basically everything except histology.

Everything is essay format, by the way. You either know it or you don't. There's no multiple choice so there is no process of elimination. Drawing are important as well as charts and graphs. And neatness! I could never be neat on my exam, there's too much to write and too little time! I had this fear of not getting everything out of my head and onto paper fast enough. Two and a half hours was never enough. And it made me feel so when I wrote 15-20 pages. I am such a nerd.

Exam day comes and as soon as we look at the exam the class just bursts out in laughter. Because every single question on the test was histology. People just stood up and handed the professor a single sheet of paper with their names and ID numbers on it. Some wrote down the questions over and over in nice handwriting. I made up stuff and walked out early. Most of the class walked out soon after the test started. Some sat in their seats doing nothing until time was up.

I miss med school. 

I'm Depressed.

People do not have food or water. They are dying because they do not have food or water. And here we are, complaining that we can't breathe because we are so stuffed after shoveling spoonfuls of food down our throats after breaking our fast at dusk.

People have NOTHING to eat. NOTHING. How many times do we open the fridge with food hanging off the shelves, complaining that there is nothing to eat. How many times do we complain throughout the day that we are starving and we can't wait to break our fast? Some people don't have food to break their fast with.

How many times are we asked to donate and decline politely, saying we are on a tight budget and can't afford to, maybe some other time. You go home that night, trying very hard to figure out where you're going to put all the clothes and makeup you bought that day.

People are dying.

I'm not saying donate your whole paycheck anywhere. I'm just saying we can do what we can to try to help them. And if we think we can't, maybe we can give up one luxury for one day day {ex. a coffee/pop} and donate that each month. Every little bit helps. Imagine if everyone gave a a little every month to people less fortunate. It really adds up and hopefully would make a difference.

Remember to keep the starving people of Africa and the rest of the world {including your neighbors, you never know} in your prayers.

http://www.islamic-relief.com/donations/
http://www.supportunicef.org/site/pp.asp?c=9fLEJSOALpE&b=7542627

In Pursuit of my Cousin

A few years ago my cousin, her cousin, my sister and I went to watch In Pursuit of Happyness.Wow that was a long time ago. Feels like yesterday. We had about an hour to kill before the movie started so we decided to get some ice cream. As we were stuffing out faces HE walked in. He was around my height {Indians in India are short}, wearing a red baseball cap covering half his face, a big blingy earring in his left ear, baby blue sweatshirt, baggy dark wash jeans, sneakers and, of course, a huge silver chain. I never thought I could so accurately remember his description, but I never thought I'd have acid thrown in my face until that moment, either.

Okay, we didn't have acid thrown in our faces but didn't you catch that episode of Oprah way back when??

We finished up our ice cream and still had about half an hour so we decided to explore the stores. As we were about to enter a clothing store we hear a guy calling out behind us, "Excuse me? Excuse me??" Normally I just ignore because it's never for me. But this guy was persistent. We finally turned around and {not to me, of course} to my cousin says, "Excuse me.....I think I'm in love with you."

Hmmthat'sniceyaykthanksbye. None of us said anything. We just walked into the store.

It's like this. In America, if a guy opens the door for you, you smile and say thank you. In India, if a guy opens a door for you, you shoot him a glare that implies that you're ready to slap him around with the bottom of your shoe. Things are different here and even simple eye contact usually ends up in one of the parties getting too excited...and the other being stalked.

As we were browsing along, minding our own business, I noticed the same guy standing outside. Waiting anxiously. Anyways, it's almost movie time so we're like whatever, just ignore him and he'll take the hint and leave. But he calls out to my cousin again while following us around the mall. And we ignore him again, this time ducking into another store. The shoe store has all glass walls and the guy is staring at us through the glass and following us around the store from the outside. It was REALLY CREEPY, guys. Following us from glass wall to glass wall. I don't think he came in because they'd call security or something for harrassing potential customers.

I don't know why it didn't occur to us to call security right then and there.

Movie time, thank God. The theaters are on another floor and you're not allowed up without a ticket. He didn't have a ticket. It was funny watching him from above on the escalator. He just stood there like a little sad puppy, watching us.

During intermission we go out for popcorn and other movie things. and *gasp* There he is. Watching. Waiting. He either bought a ticket or did something {read: bribed someone} to get up there. My cousin wasn't with us, so he came running up to us, pleading to speak to my cousin.

Again. Ignore.

You guys might think telling him off or simply nicely saying no, she's not interested would be enough. But this is the third world, India Edition, and like I said, being nice gets you in trouble. Eye contact gets you in trouble. Breathing at the wrong time will get you into trouble.

So the movie ends and this guy has been waiting for about two hours or so outside the theater. Again, he follows us around and we go to the parking lot. He stopped following us and we breathe a sigh of relief. I mean, what if he followed us home or something? Or what if he punctured our tires or did something in the dark empty parking lot?? WHO KNOWS HOW THIS GUY WOULD TURN OUT.

It's always the little ones. They're like evil little elves or something.

I'm little. Does that make me evil? *shiftty eyes*

So we're driving out of the parking lot and we all start screaming in horror because outside the exit there he was, waiting on his motorcycle. I figured he's stalked many women in his time or he had thought of everything possible in case he found "the one" for him.

At this point we really start to freak out thinking he'll follow us home and burn the house down or something. Oh, and I had images of acid being splashed on my face, of course. My cousin's cousin then tells the security guard to hold the guy for about five minutes. And that she'll report him if he doesn't stop him from following us. Oh Em Gee. The whole ride home we were freaking out whenever we saw a guy with a red cap on. But Alhamdulillah, we were able to get away from him.

If you've made it this far, you're probably thinking how dumb it was to freak out like that or anything. I would, too, but after living here I've learned that things are handled much differently here. And I treat guys differently here than I do in when I'm in America. I'm still laughing about how he strategically parked his bike right outside the exit so he could easily follow us out.

Fire in Bangladesh garment factory kills 25, injures 100

Bangladesh News:
A Bangladesh garment factory fire killed 25 employees and injured 100 on Tuesday.

Reuters news wire reported the fire burned for five hours after starting on the ninth-floor on the Arifa Ahmed Complex.

Fifty people had serious burn and were taken to four hospitals in Ashulia. Others were caught in a stampede as people tried to leave the building.

The Air Force and soldiers helped rescue people from the building.

Many of the 10,000 employees who work at the complex are women.

Bangladesh is a country southeast of India, with a population of more than 162 million according to the World Food Bank, World Development Indicators. About 88 percent of the population is Muslim.

http://www.windsorstar.com/news/Bangladesh+factory+fire+kills+injures/3974433/story.html

Journalist

Feet.

I don't have a computer.
It died about 3 weeks ago and now I need a new one.
So I have been MIA and my google reader's piled up with probably thousands and thousands of blog posts I have to read.

Anyways, I'm posted in surgery right now.

I almost blacked out on my first day.

Why? Because in the wards most cases there are post-operative. So we have to do antiseptic dressings of the wounds. One the first day we did rounds and the doctors checked out all the wounds and etc and make sure the patient was okay. The very last patient was a diabetic patient. He had gangrene of more than half his foot and some toes were missing.

I could handle everything else, but whenever I see a diabetic foot I get light headed. So naturally I almost blacked out.

It's so embarrassing:
Nurse: HURRY UP AND GET A BED READY!!
Ward boy: There's a patient coming in???
Nurse: NO, IT'S FOR THE DOCTOR.

And with all the patients watching. ha. hahahaha. No.

And hour later in the outpatient clinic the doctor told me to clean another diabetic foot. I told him there was a 97% chance I was going faint so he best be there.

If you don't control your blood sugar levels you can get gangrene and your toes might fall off. Yesterday there was a man with an ulcer so deep I could see his bones. People in India present very late to the hospital, thinking things will get better. The sad thing is, they present so late that a lot of cases don't get better.

Anyways, the point is if you are diabetic, and if you are fond of your feet and of walking and going to the bathroom by yourself and other such luxuries, then control your blood sugar levels. Oh and the sooner you see a doctor, the better.

But yayy for me, I can do dressings without wanting to faint or throw up.

Men in India

 *Disclaimer* What I write is based of what I hear or see. But I don’t know many men personally in this country {Three, actually} to generalize and say all are like this. I do know that this is a problem in India, it does occur and that it should be addressed. So until I have money or power or the ability to help in some big way, I am going to you readers about this issue. And maybe you can throw out a little prayer to the ones who have to deal with such people day in and day out.

*   *   *

Hate is a strong word, especially when I’m generalizing in this post. So I’ll have to say I highly dislike the men of India. Old men, young men, middle men. Etcetera etcetera.

Most of India is poor. Last time I checked, over forty percent of the population was below the poverty line. The rich keep getting richer and the poor even poorer. They are uneducated and many of them don’t know the importance of getting an education. Or maybe they know do, but they also know that an even if they pass their tenth standard exams they can’t afford college; and a shot at a better life. So they stay illiterate. What’s the point, right? The government schools aren’t any good. To their credit they have started a mid-day meal program here to encourage parents to send their kids to school. A free meal and a free education. Most just come for the meal. Otherwise they won’t get anything at home.

However, I can’t accredit education and illiteracy for the behavior of many of the married men in this country. Even the educated or wealthy ones {these two are not related} act like such jerks. It drives me insane. The way they treat their wives here is so upsetting.

Will you believe me if I told you on the way to school I saw a man kicking a woman in the face in broad daylight? She was on the ground and I couldn’t tell that what he was kicking was actually a who until later, after it set in. I say his wife because people don’t get involved with husband-wife relationships. Even if it has to do with domestic violence. Maybe if they were boyfriend-girlfriend. The police generally do not get involved. Fortunately, the times are changing, and I hope they’re changing in this regard as well. So I assumed it was his wife because people were walking around them, not really offering help to the woman.

My experience with them is next to nothing. I know about them through the stories of many women. And I’m very grateful that I don’t have to deal with them. But it sucks because so many women out there do.

I might not know much but I do know that something’s not right when the maid will come to work with a swollen face and blue and black bruises on her arms and legs.

I will know something's not right when she comes with cuts on her face and walks with a limp.

I will know something's not right when a man desert his wife {even the educated class, including doctors and engineers & lawyers} when she gives birth to a daughter instead of a son. This has happened to a few people we know, actually. And it really sucks. I mean, REALLY? Are you really blaming your wife?? Some men don’t leave their wives. They just make them have baby after baby until they have a son. Sons here are considered valuable, because after marriage the daughter goes off to her husband’s family, while the son stays with his wife and takes care of his parents. Interesting tangent: Sex determination is illegal in India because most of the time they couple will go for an abortion in the case of a girl. India has more males than females.

I will know something isn’t right when my maid tells me her husband spends most of the money on booze and he cannot sleep without it. If there is no money for booze, he cannot sleep. No one is allowed to sleep that night either because he was denied “his right”. No one is allowed to sit. They have to stand all night long. It’s ridiculous. He does not work. He sends his wife and daughters out to earn and takes it all. But this fact must be hidden from the extended family. It’s still looked down on here if the women of the household must work. It looks bad on the man’s part. It’s seen as if he can’t earn and provide for them. Random tangent: my mother is generally not old school but still feels this way and would not let me get a job in the mall in high school. She said I’m not allowed to work until I get a proper college education and a “dignified” job.

I can’t speak for many of them and I know that there are good and bad people everywhere. The good tends to outweigh the bad and I tend to see the glad half empty on certain issues. But why don’t people get involved to stop such actions? Why don’t I get involved? The thing is, a divorced woman here will have a hard time remarrying. Sad but true. Since she is most likely illiterate she won’t be able to support herself, earning a maximum of 1,200 rupees a month as a full time maid. Twenty-five dollars and some cents. Will her family take her back or will they be shamed that they have a divorced daughter?

But I will not be sensitized to these horrible incidents. But it’s still going to make me unhappy after hearing story after tragic story. It’s not something I’ve gotten used to these past five years. And I don’t plan on getting used to it. So for these reasons I hate the men here in general. It’s not fair for me to do so, but I will.

There are good men out there, too. There are men who work so so hard to earn an honest living. They work long hours, come home dead tired, but still have time to spend with their families. They do everything they can to make their kids smile. {This information I have gathered from Bollywood films} Men here are also family oriented. They respect their parents and blood ties aren’t severed so quickly.Children are safe in the hands of men here. Pedophilia isn’t as rampant as it is in the States.

The prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said, “The best among you is he who is best to his wife.” In many cultures men are seen as the protectors of women. But who does one turn to if their protector has deserted them?

I am so grateful that I my father is the way he is. I'm grateful to have someone who loves his family, does what he can to give them financial and emotional security. I'm glad to have someone in my life who goes out of his way to keep his kids and family happy.

I feel bad after writing this. I really do. I don’t know many men here and my opinion of them are solely based off stories I hear from friends, family, the maids and a few observations. People tend to talk when there’s something amiss and the boring happy stories are usually ignored. Happy gossip isn’t as juicy as sad gossip, you know. So this is based off what I hear and have observed, but I can be wrong about them. I hope I am, but I honestly don’t think so.

Pakistan is drowning while we're sleeping.

I'm sure most of you have heard about the HORRIBLE flood that hit 1/3 of the country of Pakistan last month. Oh, wait...you don't know what's going on? Of course you wouldn't...because the American media is too busy broadcasting about the "ground zero mosque" or interviewing the "priest" who wants to burn the Quran....or telling us about everything else ridiculously irrelevant in relation to what's happening to our brothers and sisters on the other side of the world.

Yes, they're in need. ONE FIFTH OF THE COUNTRY IS UNDERWATER. 20 million people are affected. Thousands have died. Conditions are not safe yet. People are continuously dieing, they've lost their homes, not enough food to eat...their water is impure. Water, something I drink everyday without having to think twice about. SubhanAllah.

It's very upsetting that the media isn't covering it to the extent they did when Haiti was hit with the earthquake. It makes me think: is it because Pakistan is a muslim country? Is it because Osama is supposedly hiding out there? Is it because Pakistan and US are not on good terms? Is it because the deathtoll isn't as high as it was in Haiti? WHAT IS IT? Flood/earthquake/tsunami/hurricane...muslims/christians/thiests/athiests...why does it matter?

Human life is sacred.


Please open your hearts and donate. You can do it through Red Cross, Islamic Relief, through your local temple/church/mosque/any house of worship. Any amount is meaningful in the eyes of God, as long as your intention is pure. And if you don't have the means, please spread the word and pray for them. That is sufficient for God too.








- Somebody out there

It's Wedding Season

My friend got married recently. Indian weddings in India aren't the same as Indian weddings in America. Or weddings in America in general.

• Indians like to invite everyone to their wedding. Friends, coworkers, friends of friends and coworkers, the mailman, the guy who made the jewelry. My cousin is getting married and I can invite however many people I want. Usually a couple hundred people attend a wedding.
• Because so many people are invited, they have dinner in rounds, or sitting, as they call them. First sitting is the best because you're eating from unused plates and spoons and bowls and stuff. Second sitting, well, you'll notice the difference. Yuck. SO when dinner comes around everyone tries to get the first sitting. I usually succeed. I'm small, I can run between people's legs and get to the table quick.
• The chairs are generally those ugly plastic chairs. Sometimes they cover them, but mostly the first two or three rows are nice for family and closer people. And plastic for everyone else. I mean, there are SO MANY PEOPLE, it's hard to accomodate.So I understand. No matter how rich one is, if there are a lot of people invited, there will be plastic chairs at 99% of the weddings.
• If you try to make it a small, personal wedding you might get death threats and a million "HOW COULD YOU!? We're practically family!!"'s from the mailman or your grocer.
• Food is served late. I mean 10:45 PM late. I mean the other day I arrived at 9:45 for the wedding. NINE FORTY FIVE PEE EM, people. And I was right on time. I am a sucker for punctuality, but not when it applies to weddings here. I will not sit there and starve. I'd rather have my first dinner at home, then my second dinner 3-4 hours later. But the food is also delicious. It's usually worth it.

Now for the better part of the weddings:

• Anyways, the stage usually is really festive and flowery and pretty. The bride here sits on a pretty velvety thing on the stage that's embellished in gold stuff. I don't know what it's called and I don't have a pic. Later on because probably her feet are all cramped, they get her a chair to sit on. Here's the stage. And the chair.

 

• Here, Muslims wear something called a Khada Dupatta. It's basically wearing a long top and pants and then being wrapped up in 6 meters of fabric. I used to hate it but now I love it. Even though I find it difficult to walk in. Only royalty used to wear these dresses, and I like to think of myself as such. So I shall wear this dress. Seriously, though, with jewelry, and if you wear it right, it looks grand. The first photos is a really simple, non-bridal one. The second is a bridal one. But the brides here wear heavier ones this is also pretty light in comparison and I can't find a heavier one online and I don't want to post photos of my friends up here for religious reasons as they aren't covered up properly.

• 
  
  Oh, and she also has henna on her hands and feet. Usually up to the elbows and a mid-calf. 
  
  
  
  I think that's pretty much it. I haven't really shared my India experience yet, and I have lot of things to write about, but don't know where to start. So I thought I'd start with something cultural before I get into the people and other things that make me want to strangle this country. Byeee. 
  Oh, and I have a bad habit of complaining. So if I complain, which is ALWAYS, please slap me. or at least remind me to shut up and be grateful for everything in my life. :)
  
  
  *Oh, and the two pics of the stage are my photos and the others are courtesy of google.
  ** I did something and the alignment of the post is off and won't fix itself. Sigh. Bye, again

I'm so 2000 and late

I didn't get my first real cell phone until the second year of sophomore year of college. That would be 2005/2006. Nowadays everyone is so technologically advanced that it's really hard to keep up. One of my students saw my phone today, and asked if my phone flipped two ways. And I replied in the negative. I just recently upgraded. Two types of flip is way too advanced for me.

I currently settled on this bad boy because of technical difficulties with the others:


Anyways, apparently his cell phone does. He's eight years old. What does he need a cell phone for? What does anyone under the age of 18 need a cell phone for?

When I was in undergrad and I needed to contact someone----which really wasn't anyone except my dad to tell him to pick me up, because well, another thing I'm late in doing, is getting my license-----I would go to a pay phone.



I would find loose change in my purse and call my dad. Yes, I did feel super lame doing it and was just as equally embarrassed. My parents didn't think it was a necessity at the time, so they didn't get me one.

Currently, if you don't have a phone by the time you are in middle school, you are uncool. Why?

And just a year ago, I finally gave in and got unlimited texting and learned the functions of texting with T9. But even with texting, I've realized that I'm behind because I don't have a keyboard on my phone.




For most of my life, my family has had one of these as well:


Yup, with the bunny ear antennas and everything.

We didn't get a newer T.V. until about two or three years ago. And even that's not plasma/flat screen T.V.

Just recently, like two weeks ago, I made my first purchase of my very first laptop. Alhamdulilah. And had my first web cam conversation/chat with my cousin. Lol. It was very entertaining.


Obviously I'm extremely slow when it comes to catching up with the 21st century.

Eh, whatever floats ones boat, right?

In Your Face

While walking out of the library I spotted two men and a woman in conversation. She sounded upset but I couldn't tell because she was talking low. As we got closer I guessed she was probably trying not to make a scene by yelling at one of the men in front of everyone.

And then

*Slapppp* across his face.

So much for not making a scene.

He didn't do anything. He just looked down and took it. I had to see who this woman was. She was older than him. Maybe his mother or sister, I couldn't tell. I turned to have a look at her face because if she was younger than him or his wife, he would probably gone all "Gurrrrl, I'm gonna CUT you" on her. Well that's my opinion, based off my observations here in the third world.

Anyways the point of my post was SHE SLAPPED HIM! I've never ever seen anyone slap anyone in the face ever. I got all ooh-drama-what-now/scared/sad/happy he didn't hit her back. I always wondered how it would feel to slap someone. Is that bad? Well, I'm a weakling so if I did it would probably tickle the person or something. Oh, I know, it doesn't matter how it feels, it's the principle of it. You just don't slap people in the face unless it's serious.

My friend wondered how it would feel, too.

Her: *Brother* come here for a minute.
Him: Yes, my dear older sister who I love so much and would do any-
Her: *slappp*
Him: Owwwww. *grabbing cheek* Why!??
Her: Sorry...I just wanted to know how it'd feel. Let me get you some ice.

True story.

Midweek pick-me-up

I had exams when my aunt got these cuties, so I don't have pictures of their first day home. They're growing up so fast and their wings are starting to grow. Before they were tiny, fluffy, colored balls. I don't know how they dye them but I hope it wasn't too traumatic. The green ones are hyper. :)

It's about time

I've been living in India since July 18, 2005.

It's been almost five years and I haven't really spoken about my experience to anyone in detail.
I end up hating it when I go back home and everyone's all, "How's India" on me. My time here is coming to an end rather quickly and I haven't really spoken much of it. I think the main reason is that I didn't really like living here. It was hard to adjust socially, and then the stress of medical school combined with the third world experience made me like it less and less.

I finally get to go home soon. Permanently. But a part of me isn't that excited. Despite the long list of complaints I have about this country, it has been my home for the past 5 years. You can't throw away five years like that. Well, the good at least. The friends that I have made, the weather, the hospitality.

Living in a different country is completely different from visiting one in a lot of ways. For one thing, when one is visiting a country you don't notice a lot of stuff. Like how it takes over a month to clear a foreign check. Or worrying about the maid stealing all your stuff. or going without water for three days because the tanker didn't come by. Or how everything a lot of things are shut down multiple times a month because of holidays. Or how if you need to get one thing done, you need to put aside ten days for it to happen.

Enough complaining. I'm going to start writing and share as much of my experience here with you guys as possible. A lot of them are LOL funny. This one is kind of boring but people always ask me why I decided to move so I'll start there.

Rewind to Winter 2003/2004.

I was finishing up high school and my dad brought up the idea of med school in India. "Hell to the no," I decided initially. But when it came to decide what college I wanted to go to after receiving my acceptance letters my dad brought it up again. He never ever forced me. He just mentioned it and the perks about it, like living in a new country and gaining experience with the outside world. How I can skip undergrad completely and finish four or more years earlier than everyone else my age. Or how I can get a chance to get to know my family back home. Etcetera. He asked me a few times that year and I always declined the offer, but something inside me always wanted him to ask me again. but I wouldn't ask him about it.

Skip to Winter 2005. Life was good. I had an amazingly fun time at college and met the people who are very very close to me to this day. {some of the authors on the blog..I still can't believe you guys feel like family after knowing each other for less than a year} I was doing dietetics/nutrition. And I was trying to figure out what to do with my nutrition major. I mean...it was interesting but I don't think I'd have fun working as a dietitian.

I asked my dad. He basically said no matter what I decide to do, I should be the best in my field. And that if I'm going to give whatever I'm doing my very best then I should try out for med school. If you haven't guessed, Indians have about three options in life: you become a doctor, an engineer, or nothing (which is everything else). I was not interested in doing med school in America. I have zero interest in all the prerequisites. And it's so hard to get in. And there's no guarantee you'll make it. Yeah I sound like a wuss right now, but I don't like putting in so much if there's a huge chance my hard work will go to waste.

So anyways, my dad mentioned it again a few days later. I told him I'd think about it. And something inside me was telling me to go. People usually get these feelings for relationships and other emotional crap. I had a feeling I'd regret not going and then it'd be too late.

So my sister finished up high school and got talked into coming, too. It would be my mom, my sister and my two year old sister. My mom decided to move with us because no one would marry us if they found out we lived alone. True story. haha.

This was probably the scariest thing I've ever done. To just pack up and leave my life behind me to start a new thing, in a new place with new people is something I would never dream of doing.

What do you think of America?

My dad has been trying for a number of years to bring his brothers and sister and their families to America. Over the past five years, it finally happened and they are all here, all 20 members (minus a few here and there).

It's funny to meet relatives that I've never met before. My siblings and I feel kind of famous when we're with them sometimes. They know so much about us. And you can totally see the resemblance between all of us that it's downright freaky sometimes.


The place that my family is from overseas, is not exactly the most caught up with the Western world. My family is from a very small, very rural village of Bangladesh. A place where electricity and running water are new. And a place where you'll be lucky to find a doctor that can treat you when your ill and provide you with the correct medicine. The past ten years, this place has not made much progress and advancements.
But it was/is home to my father and his family. My uncles were highly-qualified teachers who taught the community about the religion of Islam and its fundamental practices. They were affiliated with the local mosque since it was founded. Their children were all part of that community as well and went to school there with their friends.

Of course I've never been there, I'm just going off of what others have told me.

So since they've all come to America, they have been asked countless times:

What do you think of America?

Not everyone is like me and says they love America and cant get enough of this place. My Aunt actually thinks it's too cold here. Well of course she would. This is the first time they've seen snow. The first time they've had to layer and wear socks, mittens, and boots. It's the first time they've been in a car with a female driver and the first time they are able to visit another relatives house without an incredibly long journey ahead of them.
It's home to me, but not to them. It's a foreign world where everyone speaks a funny language, wears different clothes, and eats weird birds. (They all had turkey for the first time the other day at our house.)

My uncles think it's extremely boring here. With the cold weather, they are cooped up inside the house all day long. It's also a culture shock. Over in Bangladesh, they only saw Bangladeshis. And now here in the states, they see a multicultural world. Black, White, Polish, Yugoslavian, Bosnian, Syrian, Palestinian, Yemeni, Pakistani, Indian, Mexicans, and Puerto Ricans. Not to mention the different languages they hear too.

My cousins say they love it. I think they're just saying that for fear of offending us.

It sounds like my family is a bit Amish, if you ask me. Minus the riding buggies and electricity bit.

Seeing them out of their comfort zone makes me feel sad at times. America is my home. Not theirs. The only reason they came here was for a better life. Same reason a lot of people came/come here. Our family is just a generation late with the process. My dad wanted to bring them all here for hopes of them gaining a good education. Let's face it, education in the area they are from is not up to par with what it should be. Lack of books. Lack of teachers. Lack of resources.

And it sounds like they came from a totally different era, not a different country. But this is real. Although we're living in the 21st century and it may be hard to believe, people out there still live in areas where something as minuscule as electricity, is a luxurious item.

I just hope as the years progress and as they become familiar with the Western world, they can at least call it their second home.

Will you Friendship me?

My phone started ringing while I'm in the library. It's not anyone I know but I pick up anyways. Do you guys pick up numbers you don't know? I do. I like to tell the person on the other end that they have the wrong number and get it over with instead of that person calling repeatedly. That does not work in India, my friends. It just doesn't work. This is an example of what may happen if you do pick up:

Me: Hello?
Him: Halo?
Me: Hello?
Him: Halo?
Me: Yes, I can hear you. What?
Him: Halo?
Me: What?
Him: Halo? *insert some words in Telugu here*
I hang up.

He calls back but this time I don't answer because I can't stand conversations like that. It'll be the same thing over and over again. And I mean, the American accent and me hanging up should give the guy enough of a clue that it's the wrong number. Then the text messages start.

9:26 am: Hi r u sandya.
9:28 am: Hi r u sandya.
9:43 am: Hi r u sandya.
10:44 am: Hi r u sandya.
12:45 am: Hi r u sandya.
2:57 pm: Hi r u sandya.
2:59 pm: Hi r u sandya.
3:03 pm: Hi r u sandya.
3:14 pm: Hi r u sandya.
3:14 pm: *insert Telugu joke here. I don't speak Telugu.*
9:54 pm:
()""()
.( 'o')
(>@<)


let me pray

()""()
.(-.-)
((""))

Dear GOD, plz let my crazy Friend have Nice Dream...! Good Night.

Can you guys make out the bunny thing praying? Yes, I got sent this. El oh el.

-------------------------------------------------

He calls again the following afternoon. I picked up but didn't say anything. He stayed on the phone for 47 seconds saying, "Halo? Halo?" He mumbles something in Telugu and hangs up. I get a text a few seconds later.

Him: Hi. Can I know who is this.
Me: I am not sandya. {I didn't want to reply but felt bad. What if it was an emergency and he HAD to contact this chick??}
Him: But why r u not talk with me
plz give me answer
Him: 2 lovers in a park. Girl:Dear! Nxt week is my Birthday/Boy: Advnce wishes & ask what do you want/ Girl: A ring./Boy: From landphone or cellphone?/G N8 {good night}
Him: Hi can i know who is this. Tell me ur name plz plz.
Him: 10:50 pm: Hey can i call u now.

Ok so he wanted to talk to Sandya. But he knew it wasn't her later but still tried talking me. Apparently that is what the male species does here. They get a little...excited(?) and try their luck with the stranger on the other end. The question is, do people actually reply to them??

So he kept calling early morning late night etc. I had someone take care of it for me. All you have to do is hand the phone to a guy and they run away. Problem solved.

End of Ramadan Blues.

Hey, everyone.

I was breaking my fast at my cousin's house the other day. We ate a lot of good food. I thought I died and went to heaven.

At one point my cousin was telling my sister and I about the children at the school her family is involved in. I don't know if they started it but that's besides the point. The children at the school come from really really poor families.

There are three siblings who attend that school. The family doesn't have enough to give each of them a lunch everyday. So one child has lunch while the other two go hungry that day. Then they alternate. I'm sure some kids don't even take a lunch at all. These people are usually part of families where the husband is a drunk with no job who sends his kids and wife out to work so they can buy him more alcohol.

That's how my old maid's family was. She had to work to provide the booze. If there was no alcohol in the house, her husband couldn't sleep. If he couldn't sleep no one was allowed to sleep. They hid the fact that they were sent out to work from the rest of their family. Women and children working is a shameful thing in India. It's like saying that the man of the house can't support his own family and he needs help. In this case the man is too busy drinking to care about his family.

Thankfully, India started a Mid-day meal programme where they provide lunch to kids at school. 1/3 of the daily calorie requirement with 1/2 the daily protein requirement. This is for two reasons: one is to feed the kids. Second, is that a free meal encourages parents to send their kids to school. At least they get some sort of education. We take cases in the hospital and I have to say that more than 75% of the patients are illiterate. Maybe a handful got past the tenth grade.

But it just got me thinking...

Ramadan is here to humble ourselves, to get a feel for how the poor feel. Even though I will never really know. I guess the satisfying feeling when you break your fast serves as a reminder that we at least get to eat something. There are many out there who don't know when they will see their next meal. We will never know how the poor feel because we have never starved. Fasting during the day doesn't mean you've starved yourself. Your body isn't feasting on itself. I don't know what starvation feels like. I am blessed.

This makes me feel guilty. Not because I have food. For that I am grateful. But that I haven't done anything to feed a hungry person. I could excuse myself and say, "who has the money?" But really, I could afford to not buy something I want and donate it instead every now and then. That's better than nothing.

Fun fact: Back in the day like centuries ago people were so generous there would be no poor people in need of money. People would donate money to the mosque and the poor who needed it would take it. But there were so many people donating that there was no one to take the money. How cool is that? {Anyways someone with details on this please elaborate in the comments.}

Anyways, I am no Saint and am not trying to be holier-than-thou. I just feel a pang of guilt right now and thought I'd share. There are some sites like http://freerice.com/ and http://freeflour.com/. I wish they wouldn't be so monotonous, though. And I'm not good at geography so I suck at freeflour. lol. If they were more fun maybe all the unsmart people with ADD like me would play more??

Fiance is also a doctor so it's not like I'll have to work. The money I make will be extra so hopefully I'll do something good with it. For now I can't do anything big, but maybe donating some of my allowance every month will add up. Watch me forget all about this in a hour. I suck.

On another note, I didn't take as much advantage of Ramadan as I should have. I pray that I live until the next Ramadan so I can hopefully get a second chance and get the full benefits of this blessed month. Amen. DEAR GOD, I NEED ONE MORE SHOT. Don't let me die for a while.

Anyways, I think I just pooped on the Eid party, huh? I didn't mean for this to sound so solemn. Eid ul-Fitr is tomorrow. It's the celebration at the end of Ramadan. So

Happy Eid, everyone!!

Runaway Driver

I'm waiting for my driver.

See, we're supposed to go to a wedding. My Aunt's *maid/servant's wedding. I live with my aunt, by the way. My mom left us to go back home to the Americas.

He's not here and not answering his phone. He's late.

My aunt wants my driver and her servant's sister to get married. So does my mom.

I think that scares him. Crazy women trying to find him a wife. {obviously this is an arranged marriage, but I don't think that's what scares him. It's the way things are done here.}

So today he has to "meet the family" so they can see him and decide if they like him. I think my aunt gave him the heads up. And I think that explains his MIA since he usually never skips. And he won't answer his phone.

I personally think he shouldn't get married until I graduate. Otherwise he'll have wife issues. And then start skipping because that's what happens when people get married. Their wives go crazy on them. And then I'll have no one to take me to school. And then I'll fail.

It's like Runaway Bride. heehee.

*what would be a less degrading word choice? I hate it. Hired help??

Palestine

So I know this is long overdue. I should have written ages ago. I actually had a million and one things to write about too. So I went to Palestine again with a good friend of mine last week. For those of you who don't know Palestine is currently being occupied and militarily controlled by Israel. The situation is extremely difficult on Palestinians because they're being caged into smaller and smaller lands and their IDs are taken away so they're not allowed to work. If you can't work you don't have income and if you don't have income you can't sustain yourself with food and shelter. So this time around, I absolutely loved my visit. I actually got to go to the West Bank, see the Apartheid Wall, and talk to locals about their situation. Honestly, just talking to people gave them hope that there are people on the other side of the world that actually care about them.

We checked out the Jewish Quarter too in the Old City. The local Israelis weren’t too happy about that. Imagine two hijabis at the Western Wall surrounded by religious Jews doing their thing. I was so intrigued by the whole thing and all of the sudden this lady comes up to me and starts yelling at me to leave because I’m Muslim. Then she calls some soldiers from the IDF to come check us out. So this soldier starts checking our American passports while this group of kids starts hovering around us waiting to see what entertainment they were going to get. After going through the passports the soldier turns to lady and says ‘they’re American, I can’t do anything,’ and walks away. The lady at this point was boiling red in anger and stormed off. My friend and I then started leaving and the whole time this lady was staring at us, fuming.

Thank God I’m American. Seriously. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I didn’t have that blue little book with me everywhere I went. I think it’s such a blessing for us because we can actually do things. We have leverage to have experiences many people around the world can’t. As Muslims, it’s a bigger responsibility on our shoulders I think.

Alhumdulillah (Thanks to God) I got to pray Friday Prayer at Masjid al-Aqsa. It was amazing. The entire Masjid al-Aqsa was filled with men and the Dome of the Rock behind it filled with women. After prayer the streets were filled with Palestinian families and little kids running around. It was so beautiful and peaceful in that moment... such a rush of hope came over me. It's impossible for a people to be oppressed forever. Justice will be served one day, I just don't know when.

On a lighter note, Palestinians are known to make amazing candies… gummies, Turkish delights, jelly beans… you name it. I think I spent most of my money buying almost 5 pounds of candy. Oh boy will my dentist have fun when I come back home.

More Random Pics

I wish I had more time to write.
Here are more random pics from my phone.

In an auto-rickshaw. Auto for short. It's a 3-wheeled taxi. No doors. Quite fun.
On the back of the driver's seat was this. It's Lover Man. haha. The auto had more pics of Bollywood actors {Bollywood = Indian Hollywood. Oh you didn't know? There's also a Tollywood for Telugu and I think Lollywood in Pakistan??}



We went to get ice cream. My friend ordered a chocolate volcano. She got an upside down cone with the bottom cut off. And there's more vanilla than chocolate!!



I have a very systematic way of eating fruit snacks.

Wifey duties 101

My mom went all psycho on me today saying how I was never going to get anywhere in life if I didnt learn the basic necessities to survive as a wife.

::Rolls eyes::

I made sure I took a thorough list of notes to share with you all.

Rule Number 1- The house must remain immaculate in such a manner that someone can lick the floor and eat off of it too.

Rule Number 2- Ladies NEVER eat before the men. Ladies never eat AFTER the men either. They eat once the men have been served dinner, dessert, and tea.

Rule Number 3- The way your tea tastes says EVERYTHING about you. If you serve tea that tastes like crap, looks like water, and smells like death, you have just committed social suicide. You will be exiled and shunned..FOREVER. People will spit in your face. And you will have disgraced your family legacy for all eternity.

Rule Number 4-A lady never eats until every single one of her guests have been catered to. Basically she doesn't eat until everyone leaves.

Rule Number 5- Never ever ever ever ever take a spatula and bang it against a pot after you are done stirring your concoctions. No matter how mad you are.

Rule Number 6- When attending to company, do not ask them if they would like a drink. Just give it to them. If you ask them, they will say "No". And then you will feel retarded. Then you will ask again. They will say no. You'll feel stupid all over again. It's a repeated cycle.

Do not ask and pray that they like tap water.

Rule Number 7- The main dish, fish, is a delicatessen. It better look, smell, and taste the opposite of fish. And you better serve your company the best piece of all: the head.

Rule Number 8- Rice on demand. Enough said.

Rule Number 9- You MUST be able to cook with your eyes closed and arms tied all while managing a crying baby, out of town guests, and talking on the phone, and still look like a goddess.

Rule Number 10 - If you can manage a career and being a wife and mother at the same time, Kudos to you! If not, well then, you need to do some prioritizing. And fast.

When all of this is mastered, and you have acquired all the qualities to be the best God damn wife this side of town, you are ready for your debut and your débutante ball...

I.e. The nuptials!


Good luck and God speed.


*Disclaimer: This post was written in jest. These are not the opinions of all moms. Just some. And most of this is CULTURAL GARBAGE.(Bangladeshi culture, to be specific). Nothing that anyone really takes seriously.