step by step

We're already a month into the new year! Did anyone make any New Year's Resolutions? Are they already broken? If you're like me, they probably are long gone and forgotten. I don't take them seriously anyways and rarely make resolutions, but I do tend to set long term goals throughout the year that I don't follow through with.

One way to keep track of goals is to make small term ones that will help you make the necessary steps in the future, thus attaining long term goals. For example: write down the steps necessary to reach a big goal. Now, turn each step into a mini, short term goal. Do one step at a time. The path to the ultimate goal won't look too bad. Do things little by little until you get the hang of it.

If your goal is to organize the house and have a system going, it'll be hard to do right off the bat. Tackle each room at a time, create a binder, get rid of clutter, step by step.

If your goal is to become fit, start off small by walking and light weight exercise and work your way up. There is no way your house will become like Martha Stewarts or you'll look like a body builder over night. Small, consistent steps are the key.

Muhammad, Peace and Blessings be Upon him said, "The deeds most loved by God are those done regularly, even if they are small."*

This I can see apply to everyday life in the sense that you see a change in yourself when you do small things regularly, rather than a ton of good things a few times a year. Good habits are formed by repetition and consistency. So make small changes and move on after you have implemented that change into your everyday life. 

I should use that advice for this blog. :) This is choppy, I had a thought in my head and wanted it get it out there before I forgot, but time isn't permitting me to go into details. I just wanted to make sure I didn't forget it later on. Have a good weekend!



*Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim

Don't let yourself go

Once in a while I will receive a comment about already having a man and there's no point in dressing up. I'm not a fashionista, but I like to dress up/look nice/decent when I go out or even stay in. I think it's just as important to make an attempt at keeping fit, healthy and nice after marriage as it is before.

The first thing a person notices about someone is their appearance. That's all it takes for anyone to form an opinion about anything or anyone. In most cases physical attraction makes people want to get to know them better. That's what they found beautiful. And now that you're married, it's okay to put on weight, wear scrubs all the time and tie your hair up in a bun because you're too lazy to brush it {ladies} or put on a clean shirt {men}? 

Dress in a manner your spouse likes to see you. It softens the heart, is easy on their eyes and pay off. It allows that feeling they initially felt when they first saw you last longer. :)

It's Wedding Season; revisited

I wrote a post on weddings in Hyderabad, India a while ago. While I was writing it I felt like I was doing it half-heartedly and in a hurry. That post haunts me to this day. I literally shudder when I think about it. So I'd like to rewrite this post, give it another shot and hopefully be satisfied with this one. Since wedding season is here {summer and winter}, I thought this would be a good time to do it. Indian weddings have a LOT of parties leading up to the wedding and after the wedding. I'm covering the actual wedding reception itself. The Nikah, or wedding ceremony is simply. There is a small speech about marriage followed by agreement of the bride and groom.

I used to be a punctual person. Until I moved to India. When there was a wedding I'd force my sister to rush getting ready and scramble into the car. Traffic in Hyderabad was never light, except for the odd hours of the night. It would take at least an hour to get to the wedding hall with traffic, fifteen minutes without. After arriving to the venue, we'd find that we are extremely early, despite being half and hour to 45 minutes later than the time given on the invitation.

The stage is beautifully decorated with flowers hanging on string to create a backdrop, as well as large flower arrangements near the area the bride is to sit. It's either a velvet chair or couch, or the traditional way is to sit on the floor on a velvet cloth with gold thread in an uncomfortable pose. In front of the stage are chairs arranged facing the stage. Usually the first few rows are fancy chairs or benches that closer members of the bride and grooms family sit. Behind them are plastic chairs everybody else sits on. This I have seen at the most extravagant weddings as well. Now that I think of it, it might be due to lack of storage space, or low maintenance, as Indian weddings are pretty big. I've been to a wedding where a couple thousand people have been invited! Oh, and men and women are seated in separate areas, as per religious requirements.

In India, the stages look something along the lines of this:

This is the more traditional way of sitting. The bride is supposed to be "shy" and look down, not speak. Meh. WHO CARES? A lot of older people do. It's the happiest day of your life, but you can't look it! Culture is weird.

In America, stages look more like this:

After what seems hours of waiting or so, the hall fills up with many, many people. Everyone is invited to weddings in India. Sometimes you never even met the bride or the family, you just are a coworker or friend of someone related to the wedding party. The mailman, the tailor, the neighbors, drivers, maids. Teachers, classmates, co-workers. Parents' friends, co-workers. The jeweler. The bride and grooms friends' cousins, siblings families and friends. The list is pretty exhausting.

If we're lucky dinner will be served by 10:30 PM.  There is a separate area where dinner is served. Usually, they have rounds for eating, as not everyone can fit into the hall. There are tons of people, after all. You're best bet, and in my case, my only chance of having a shot at dinner is at the first sitting. During the second sitting, drinking glasses and napkins are not provided. The plates are rewashed and wet, sometimes dirty. The serving spoons have oil on them, as Indians eat with their hands. And the food is not brand new. Meaning that they will take the left overs from the first sitting and serve them in the next rounds. Which is OK, I mean don't waste food. But I'd like clean serving spoons.

Because of the advantages of the first round, there is a mad dash when dinner is served. I probably was unlucky one or two times. I sit near the entrance to the dining hall, I walk fast, but don't run. I am a lady, after all. I know it does seem rather barbaric, but once you sit in the second or third round, you do not want to make that mistake again. Another reason for the rush is that Indian weddings are so late! They start as late as 10 pm, sometimes the bride doesn't show up until 10:30. It's kind of ridiculous if you ask me. I learned to eat a light meal  or snack before the wedding.


The food usually does not disappoint. Because I am a girly girl, I love it when they serve naan - an Indian flat bread - in the shape of a HEART. So romantic. Usually there is soup with meat in it to start with along with shrimp, lamb kabobs, chicken kabobs, fish. At a Muslim wedding there will definitely be a meat overload. This is served with different types of bread, the naan, as I've mentioned as well as some more oily or buttery breads. Following this huge amount of appetizers come the star of the meal, the biryani (rice) along with the accompanying gravies and yogurt. Followed by dessert which is Indian or ice cream served on cake with dried fruit and nuts.

This is dessert served in a clay pot. It's like full fat ice cream. So delicious. I put so many pictures of food, the best part!

Here, Muslim brides wear something called a Khada Dupatta. It's pretty much worn specifically in the region/city of India I am from. It's basically wearing a long top and pants and then being wrapped up in 6 meters of fabric. I used to hate it but now I love it. Even though I find it difficult to walk in. Only royalty used to wear these dresses, and I like to think of myself as such. Seriously, though, with jewelry, and if you wear it right, it looks grand. The first photos is a really simple, non-bridal one. The second is a bridal one. But the brides here wear heavier ones this is also pretty simple in comparison and I can't find a heavier one online and I don't want to post photos of my friends up here for religious reasons as they aren't covered up properly.

The bride also has henna on her hands and feet. Usually up to the elbows and a mid-calf. It costs about 100-200 dollars when you convert the currency. Which is nothing! In America, I got a quote for $1000. But I got lucky and found a super skilled Henna Artist who did it for much less.

After or during dinner the bride will her her photo shoot with the groom. And since it's so late, the guests will get ready to go. There is no dancing at the Muslim weddings. The dancing is done on the days leading up to the wedding. Sometimes there is entertainment. But I don't find it entertaining. Mostly it's old guys singing old school songs. haha. In America, there are dances, speeches, slideshows, entertainment, etc. But I'm mostly discussing how it's done "back home".

Anyways, when it's finally time for the bride and groom to leave, the bride and her parents and family cry because she is leaving the nest. So emotional. Waah waah waah. 

I tried to cry. But I didn't. My parents were like, "Peace out!" haha. Good thing, or else my makeup would have been all over the place. It was kind of like this. "Bye, girl, see you tomorrow!"

Living out of a suitcase

I'm sitting in a hotel after a not so hot "hot" breakfast. The eggs contained bacon residue because I think  they cooked it on the same stove. Muslims can not eat pig or pig products, in case you were wondering. The potatoes were cold and hard, my plastic fork could not stab them. My toast popped out of the toaster and landed on some spilled juice on the counter. #firstworldproblems But at least I have food. So I will stop complaining...now. 

I have been doing a bit of traveling lately. While I do like going to various places, I have not had a chance to relax and do my own thing. I want to spend a quiet day or two at home. One thing I don't enjoy about traveling is living out of a suitcase. Packing light hasn't been one of my strong points. Unpacking after returning is an even bigger hurdle. 

Packing for a wedding is much worse! Fancy Indian clothes are not light. Then there's the jewelry, shoes and makeup. It is impossible to go for a weekend with a carry on bag. Indians have parties the days before and days after the actual wedding. So we have to pack clothes, shoes jewelry and makeup for all those events. It's ridiculous, if you ask me. But it's also fun and tiring. But if I could ever travel without going to an Indian event, count me in!

I haven't been going to any weddings or events lately. These trips are strictly for business. It's been pretty relaxed and care free. But there's no place like home. I want to spend a day curled up in bed with a good book and periodic naps in between. Like a cat, maybe with more reading than napping. But knowing me, only one of those days is enough! I start to feel unproductive and need to do something that makes me feel accomplished. I guess it's good that I chose the profession that I did. :)

Eid Ul-Adha

Friday was a Muslim holiday, Eid ul-Adha, which basically is celebrated at the end of the holy pilgrimage to Makkah in Saudi Arabia. It also celebrates the story of Abraham and Ishmael. The last few days have been quite hectic, which is why I haven't been able to update or even schedule blog posts. But I hope anyone celebrating this had a wonderful Eid and if you don't celebrate Eid I hope your weekend is going fabulous!

Pray for me :)

The last few days have been gloomy and full of rain showers.  I usually LOVE the rain, but after a few days of no sun, it can really get to me. I think I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm studying all day errday that makes me sad and stressed. Taking away the sun just adds to my mood.

Muslims also believe that the rain is a mercy and a good time to ask God for help, stuff or anything else.  Usually when it's raining I'll get a text, read a tweet or get an email from one of my Muslim friends saying, "It's raining, remember to pray for me, too!" I'm also guilty of doing the above. 

 I do love thunderstorms, though. I like it when the whole house gets quiet and peaceful, despite the cracking thunder outside and the flashes of lightning. I like to be at home curled up with a good book and some herbal tea. I also like to go online and read blogs, maybe even get inspired to posts here. 

Which reminds me: we received a comment on an earlier post regarding our presence in the blogosphere by Silly Billy, "i missed the stories here and there but you guys need to update and let others know you're updating too"

I am going to reply to that here, because I'm sure others might be thinking and suggesting we do the same. I know I did. I am trying to make an attempt to be regularly posting on here, but I'm not really commenting on other blogs, nor am I promoting new posts {I am not sure about the other authors} because I myself am pretty busy and can't expect much traffic or comments from our readers and other bloggers simply because I do not have time to write comments on other blogs. I don't want to be at the receiving end and not give anything in return. So I'll probably be a lot more active in the blogging world soon after my last exam. Which will be soon, I hope!

"The film is offensive because it misrepresents Islam. Senseless violence and murder is offensive for the same reason." Nouman Ali Khan

One act of stupidity doesn't justify another. My heart goes out to the US ambassador, his family and to anyone who has suffered as a consequence of the foolishness, immaturity and barbarianism. Muhammad, Peace Be Upon Him, would have trash thrown on him by a woman every day. He did not go out and throw it back on her. He didn't do anything at all. A few days went by without him getting trashed. Instead of rejoicing he went a visited her to see if she was ok.

Islam teaches peace. It teaches kindness and respect. The act of a group of people does not reflect anyone except those involved. If an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, what does overreacting to a stupid cartoon and killing an innocent person do? 

Cultural woes for American raised girls

Yesterday my father-in-law went on a panting rage about how no one was giving him the food he wanted, God forbid.

At first I thought he was talking to no one in particular, so I stayed away. Then I heard him get louder and more specific.

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law sat in the kitchen with blank faces. My sister-in-law looked displeased. I cringed.


What is it about Bangladeshi men who cannot bear to not get what they want - even if it's not good for them?
What is about the Bangladeshi culture that men are often favored over women, from the kids to the parents.
Why do women have to serve everyone before eating, even if they are starving?
Why do men have to get the better share of food?
Why do men always demand things?
Why is there a secret code language to read minds hearts and souls?
Why do women believe if they don't do as their husbands say, or give them what they want (want to eat for) the husbands will curse them to doom before their deaths?
Why is the culture full of doing things for others, ignoring your own health and needs (often times), and putting less emphasis on taking care of oneself and your own actions?

This is my experience of the Bangladeshi culture.

I was raised by liberal parents who did not expect everything to be culturally packaged. For example, I did not have to serve my father all the time, nor wake up early to feed everyone, cook or clean after everyone etc.

In my in-laws house it is expected, even if you don't do it all the time.

There is a huge emphasis on taking care of the parents. I find it a struggle to understand:
1. What they want
2. What they are thinking
3. How to go about something
4. Going out of my way to do something without showing off and doing it for the sake of reward
5. Putting their priorities over yourself
6. Having to over explain things
7. Remaining silent when you want to say something - for good or bad
8. When or when not do something
9. Waiting around for a response to something you're unclear on. Being met with silence.
10. When to step your foot in, raise your concerns, look the other way.

Thank goodness there are some basic Islamic guidelines to follow: from treating others with respect, to taking care of the elderly and doing things for the sake of good deeds.

Shakir

He will put your deeds into a right state for you, and forgive you your faults; andwhoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, he indeed achieves a mighty success. (33:71) 

As an American raised child, I struggled with my own parents when it came to explaining and understanding the give-and-take rule on respect, being clear with one another, expressing feelings rather than mind-reading.

Last weekend I attended a workshop on how to spread the word about Islam and I learned from a conflict resolution segment that communication is translated differently in cultural settings: American individualistic society vs. Bangladeshi group mentality.

Which means, Americans are more likely to say things directly and are more open to personal space, while group thinkers expect you to read each others minds and say things indirectly, as well as be less keen to giving people personal space.

Neither is good or bad, but as the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said, take what is good from your cultures which adheres with the teachings of Islam.

For American raised girls living in cultural homes, it is about finding the right balance to live up to God's laws and commandments.

Shakir

And those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism) and dorighteous good deeds, they are dwellers of Paradise, they will dwell therein forever. (2:82)

Mid-Week Pick me up

Last week a group of people and I were talking about how Muslims are portrayed in the Media humorously and what is and isn't tasteful. Someone brought up The Simpsons episode "Mypods and Boomsticks." It's about a Jordanian boy named Bashir, whose family recently moved to Springfield. Homer's friends convince Homer that the Bashir's family is a terrorist and he sets out to investigate.

I just watched it and thought it was pretty funny and wanted to share it in case you haven't seen it. It's worth a watch. Let me know what you think. :) click HERE to check it out.

Your Life Before Your Death

There was a death in the community the day before yesterday. The funeral was yesterday. I did not know or meet the woman or her family but I went to the funeral. I went because there is a reward in attending a funeral and I also want people to pray for me when I die. Is that selfish? I'm glad I went because there weren't many people there and I figured we all can use every prayer we get, especially when we die. There's nothing more than can be done except pray for the deceased and hope that their stay in the grave is a comfortable one. 

I don't know her or her life story or her family, but I became pretty emotional. Death isn't easy to deal with. I've attended only a handful of funerals in my life and half of them were 3 of my grandparents'. The fourth I was too young to understand what was going on.

Anyways, everyone is going to die. We just don't know when. And I realized that I should make the most of my day, my hour, my minute, my second. I shouldn't squander my time on things and thoughts that don't matter. Living life to the fullest doesn't mean doing crazy things. I know people have a bucket list of things they want to do in their life, things they must do before they die. Some of those things include sky diving or something daring. That's fine, I have my own list of things I would love to see and do, but we should also try to include more meaningful things. Things that will leave an imprint on people's lives after we die. We should do things that make a difference, because honestly, after we're dead who is going to remember that we jumped out of a plane as a big milestone in our lives?

The prophet Muhammad Peace and blessing be upon him said, "Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: your youth, before you become old; and your health, before you fall sick; and your richness, before you become poor; and your free time before you become busy; and your life, before your death." This is so true. When I'm sick, I regret that I didn't get my work done when I could have. When I'm busy, I mentally kick myself for procrastinating, etc.

If you believe in the Hereafter then invest this time into it, because once we are gone, the only thing that will help you are your good deeds and the only thing that will harm you are your bad deeds. Nothing else, except a few things which can benefit: Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him said, "When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing Charity, a knowledge (of Islam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes supplication for him." (Muslim and others).

So, if you put a water fountain somewhere and people drink from it, you will get the reward for supplying them with water. That's just an example of the first. 

If I can't do something great now, I know I need to work towards being able to do great things in the future. I just hope I can get there before I die and I hope I get an A for effort if I don't make it. 

I planned on writing something happier and less serious, but funerals make me sad. 

I don't like bacon anymore.

Muslims, like Jewish people, aren't allowed to eat pig or pig products in any form.

I happened to be obsessed with it. When I accidentally ate baked beans with bacon bits in it, I attributed the good taste to the bacon bits. Some Muslims are shaking their head at me, thinking I shouldn't be so obsessed. God said don't eat pig, He didn't say I had to abhor it. I've never intentionally tried pig/pig products. Ever. I don't even eat meat that isn't Zabiha or kosher {Muslims can eat meat from Jews and Christians}.

I'm just a curious cat.

Anyways, my obsession ended the other day.

We have a KFC here that serves Zabiha meat. Zabiha = meat that is prepared in the Islamic way. Like Kosher for Jews. I'm not sure what Christians call their method, but I will look into this. Basically I can eat all the sandwiches and fried chick'n I want. It's finger licking good. And it feels finger licking good, too.

One of us ordered the Doublicious. We didn't know bacon was involved. I don't know how we did not know, but we obviously didn't look at the picture or read the description. Short story shorter, it stank & KFC is responsible for killing my curiosity. And it looked gross, too. Maybe because it was fast food. Maybe it tastes better than it's appearance. This was an important milestone in my life. And I was met with disappointment. I guess it's a good thing, from a religious perspective.

We returned the sandwich, telling them we didn't know about the bacon strips and they kindly replaced it with a new one, which smelled completely different. And it was yummy.

The house near the school I went to swimming classes for as a child had a dog. 

And a pet pig. And we weren't even in the boonies. 

I hope they didn't eat it. Eating your pets is a no-no.

If we Have God, we have everything.

Everyone goes through troubles and problems.

There are times when I feel troubled but I can't put my finger on the source of the problem. I feel crummy inside and I don't want to share my feelings with anyone in fear of gossiping or wasting time.

A long time ago I realized how important it is to look for the fault of problems in ourselves. Meaning, there are ways we can change a situation. As the old saying goes, if you're not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem. 

I am a person who used to get sad a lot. For no reason. Or because I wouldn't get over things. Alhamdulillah, thank God, that has changed.

I am also a writer. I have sudden urges to write. At those times I scramble for paper, pencil, and start writing on anything I can find. Sometimes even napkins. If I don't I will forget what I have in my mind at that exact moment. (I wonder if poets can relate?)

It also helps with meditating, figuring out emotions and for me, often helps me think of a solution. 

So on an AT&T mailed envelope I wrote:

"Dear God, 

I need your closeness right now. I need to know that you are listening to me as I call you. I am suffering inside, a disease of sadness, grief and anxiety. We have held onto your rope but sometimes we struggle. We fight for space, meaning, understanding, as well as welfare. We sacrifice. We suffice (with what we have Alhamdulillah). We fight. We argue and we stray. But only the path of patience and perseverance is close to you. 

Only true dhikr (rememberance of God). Only true asthaghfir (repentance and asking for forgivness). How shall we be.

(We) Tell ourselves the story of Absolute.  Do we think of ourselves better than others when we were all created equal? Do we not remember the punishment of the grave and the Hereafter?...When we will be judged for our actions?...When we will be brought before our Lord the Greatest Judge who only reward the streadfast. Did the Lord not say the world would be a hard place to live. 

We would have to struggle with ourselves, our wealth, and children. Did He not grant us Prophets to follow thier example? And scholars to listen to our concerns and hardships?

Did Allah (God) not tell us to seek and you shall find the answers to your heart's desires? Surely in the Rememberance of God do hearts find rest."

 

After a while I logged onto Facebook and read my hadith, or the sayings and doings of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, and I found this: 

1160. `Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Prophet ((sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) kept standing (in prayer) so long that the skin of his feet would crack. I asked him: "Why do you do this, while you have been forgiven of your former and latter sins?'' He said, "Should I not be a grateful slave of Allah?'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

...The deeds of a man cannot pay for even one of the many blessings of Allah (subhana wa ta’ala), because even the smallest of Allah’s blessings and favors on us far outweigh the deeds a human can perform. So bear in mind the rights which Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) has over us.

Trials & hardships and how to deal with pain: Navaid Aziz – He Who Has No One Has Allah: http://www.halaltube.com/navaid-aziz-he-who-has-no-one-has-allah

from the group "Ahadith per Day keeps Shaytaan away: part 2!!"

And I watched the video.

(To update later)

The Update highlights from the video

Everyone feels pain. Some small pain and others big. We will feel pain on a different spectrum, but there are two results to pain:

Blessings or wrath

Sheikh Navaid Aziz said in the video, "He Who Has No One Has Allah" that the world is full of luxuries, however happiness never last for long. Even in blessings there is a trial.

What do believers say when they fall upon a trial? 

"Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.They are those on whom are the Salawat (i.e. blessings, etc.) (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided-ones (2:156-157)."  

Aziz said we get tested through pain and pleasures, to either get closer to God or draw away by forgetting to thank Him and ask Him for assistance. 

Six Steps to deal with trials

1. React to the Divine Will

2. Change perspective from bad to good; trials are a means for blessings 

3. If you deal with pain sooner than later it is better and easier to get close to God. When you look for people's pity, people do not understand what you're going through. Then people tend to isolate themselves (for too long) and slack in their religious duties. However, after you take your short time alone, look for noble company and gather around believing people, it will improve your faith.

4. It's not about how you live it's about how you will be raised. How we die is how we will be raised. For example, if we love music we'll be raised with music. If you love salat, Inshallah you may be raised in salat.

5. Blessings are a trial. 

If you are patient through your trial, God rewards you for your hardships.

6. This world is not a place of eternal happiness, but Paradise is. Aim for Paradise.

Remember when you struggle, "No soul shall bear a budern greater than it can bear."

Pain becomes positive when it brings you close to God, said Aziz.

He said, Those who have no one, have God. Those who have God's pleasure, have everything.

The new year thingys

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I spent new year's eve in my bedroom reading the Muslim holy book, the Quran.

My fascination with the new year hullabaloo ended like two or three years ago. And new year's day is like just another day.

The authors of this blog were supposed to share some of their reflections or highlights of this past year, and since I never got on them to send me their sentences, you all are gonna be stuck with just my thoughts.

And with some imaginary drum roll I present to you some of my highlights and reflections of this past year:

The realization of the increasing effort I need to be putting in, to show my parents respect, love and to bring them happiness, insh'Allah

The need for me to find spiritual balance for my soul, so my confidence is not so easily shaken and my thoughts are not so easily turned negative...Eat, Pray, Love ...Did you read the book? If you did, you have some idea as to what I'm talking about.

An Islamic conference, here in North America, instilling in me the importance to insh'Allah cultivate Love for people, creatures and the world around me. The way one of the speakers worded it, (and I summarize in my own words) Bani Adam (the Children of Adam) is your entire family. You might get annoyed with our family or may not get along with all of them, but you can't just leave them or remove them. Become a people that deals with life with good nature and humor, with shifting perspectives to see situations not just from your own perspective but from that of other people, even animals or the environment.

To be a student, is not to just learn from a classroom, but is an active process that takes place at all times, and to carry a pen and notebook wherever you go because you never know where you may learn something, because life can be a constant teacher-another thing I picked up from the conference.

Medical school is hard. Period. And kinda stupid.

It's easy to fall into a depression or any negative emotion when you're going through hard times. And the more lonelier you feel, the harder it is to keep yourself from sinking. But it's still very much possible especially if you yourself refuse to let go and keep yourself open to experiencing the wonders and joys around you.

Kids are so freaking awesome sometimes, especially when they can pop and lock while dancing and tell YOU that you're "Not feeling the music! You have to feeelll it while dancing" LOL

and CC, out

P.S. I pray to God that he blesses us with a year in which the world is filled with more mercy and understanding, where people take the time to sit down and choose the correct path for the good of others, and any obstacles and problems that people are going through are made easy. Ameen.

Fire in Bangladesh garment factory kills 25, injures 100

Bangladesh News:
A Bangladesh garment factory fire killed 25 employees and injured 100 on Tuesday.

Reuters news wire reported the fire burned for five hours after starting on the ninth-floor on the Arifa Ahmed Complex.

Fifty people had serious burn and were taken to four hospitals in Ashulia. Others were caught in a stampede as people tried to leave the building.

The Air Force and soldiers helped rescue people from the building.

Many of the 10,000 employees who work at the complex are women.

Bangladesh is a country southeast of India, with a population of more than 162 million according to the World Food Bank, World Development Indicators. About 88 percent of the population is Muslim.

http://www.windsorstar.com/news/Bangladesh+factory+fire+kills+injures/3974433/story.html

Journalist

Midweek Pick Me Up & Reflections of Ramadan

 In Ramadan God locks up the Satan and his posse so they can't tempt us and persuade us to stray from Him. Ramadan is coming to an end and I'm getting just as nervous as I was when it began. This year I was blessed with time off the whole month and an opportunity to work on myself as a better Muslim and a better human being, which go hand in hand in my book. This month has changed my heart a lot. I'm nervous that it is ending for two reasons. 

One. Satan is going to go crazy as soon as he is released. Will my heart be strong enough to ignore him? Or will it give in to temptation and I'll go back to as I was before?

Two. I had time off this whole month. A whole month to focus on me and only me. A whole month to figure out who I am and figure out how important God really is. When my everyday life kicks back in, will things be the same? Will I be focused on this life and forget about God and the Hereafter?

It takes about forty days to make or break a habit. So it's been about thirty days. Will I be able to cope up with the last ten and continue the same things throughout the year? I hope so. I think the key is balance. I need to recognize both priorities of this life and priorities for the Hereafter. I've went from one extreme before Ramadan and then to the other during Ramadan. 

I am glad I had a whole month of me time, though. It was so relaxing and refreshing. I think I'll take time out  everyday for myself. Life is so busy and so rushed we think we can't spare even ten seconds for quiet time for ourselves. It makes a world of a difference. Just sit there, talk to no one, turn the TV and music off. Maybe visit nature. The best things in life are free. And they really are. I mean, what would you prefer, a big house or your sight? Just reflect. S   l   o   w    d   o   w   n. Think about all the blessings in your life. 

That's basically what I've been doing this past month. The most important thing I've learned is to understand that life has its setbacks, but it's not the end of the world. I am so much better off than many people out there. My superficial problems are frivolous compared to the millions of people suffering around the world. Alhamdulillah. I'm just hoping I can still have time for my spiritual self once Ramadan is over and work starts up.

Nightly Prayers

Side-by-side they stand in prayer
Shoulder-to-shoulder and their feet touching
No room for pride and arrogance
Keep out the distance
Spread the feelings of faith

Men young and old
Women silly and intelligent
Children who are only learning
Teenagers who are putting a hold on chilling
For blessings they are yearning

They all come together 29-30 days
At night in one large congregation
Men on one side; for the obligatory prayer
Women on the other; voluntarily joining at the masjid
But each pray 2-20 sets of prayers

Prayer is a short price to pay
For the ridding of sins
As one prayer ends
Another one begins

Fasting is a blessing during the day
No food water or drinks
No lying, spying, cheating, gossiping
No stealing, hating, wasting

Prayer is a blessing during the night
Retreat, refresh, recharge, reconcile
Rejoice, restore, remind, recite the Quran
Remember the Lord.


Muslims pray the tarawih prayers during the nights of Ramadan.
Narrated Abu Huraira: I heard Allah's Apostle saying regarding Ramadan, "Whoever prayed at night in it (the month of Ramadan) out of sincere Faith and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven."

What are tarawih prayers? http://blog.beliefnet.com/ramadan/2007/09/tarawih-filling-the-night-with.

Journalist

"Ground Zero Mosque" or Pentagon Chapel?

Just weeks away from the 9-year anniversary of the September 11 attacks, controversy brews in New York City over the building of an Islamic cultural center at Park51, nearly two blocks away from Ground Zero, where 2,700 people were killed.

The measure was taken to the city's Landmark's Preservation Commission, which approved the building of the cultural center 9-0, said the New York Times.

According to www.park51.org, the vision of the community center includes, "pluralism, service, arts and culture, education and empowerment, appreciation for our city and a deep respect for our planet," to allow an "accessible platform for conversations across our identities."

Those who lost loved ones, neighbors and Republicans have been opposing the building of the cultural center - noting sensitivity issues such as "giving the terrorists a reason to cheer" being one of the main concerns.

Supporters have raised the flag of tolerance for religion freedom.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York said, Muslims have the right to practice religious freedom, reported the Huffington Post.

"We may not always agree with every one of our neighbors. That's life and it's part of living in such a diverse and dense city. But we also recognize that part of being a New Yorker is living with your neighbors in mutual respect and tolerance. It was exactly that spirit of openness and acceptance that was attacked on 9/11," he said.

"Let us not forget that Muslims were among those murdered on 9/11 and that our Muslim neighbors grieved with us as New Yorkers and as Americans. We would betray our values - and play into our enemies' hands - if we were to treat Muslims differently than anyone else. In fact, to cave to popular sentiment would be to hand a victory to the terrorists - and we should not stand for that."

President Barack Obama echoed the message of religious freedom, putting the issue of whether to continue the project, on a national scale.

"Ground Zero is indeed hallowed ground. But let me be clear. As a citizen and as president, I believe that Muslims have the right to practice their religion as everyone else in this country, and that includes the right to build a place of worship in a community center on private property in lower Manhattan," said the president, reported the Voice of America News.



While House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she supports the constitutional right to freedom of religion, she is concerned about the funds of the project, reported CBS News.

"Pelosi told KCBS is San Francisco yesterday that she joins "those who have called for looking into how is this opposition to the mosque being funded." She added: "How is this being ginned up?"

In a follow-up statement today on the project - an Islamic cultural center that includes a mosque called the Cordoba House that would be built two blocks from the site of the Sept. 11 attacks - Pelosi said the location of the project is a "local decision," though "the freedom of religion is a Constitutional right."

She said that she agrees with the Interfaith Alliance and Anti-Defamation League that the funding for the project should be transparent, as well as this portion of a statement from those groups: "At the same time, we should also ask who is funding the attacks against the construction of the center."

From a different set of eyes

While all eyes are on Ground Zero, Muslims are praying freely at the Pentagon Memorial Chapel, where 184 people were killed on September 11, 2001, reported CNN.com.

The building was created in November 2002, giving space to all religious groups to practice freely.

"United in memory, September 11, 2001," it reads.

"The chapel contains 80 seats and has regularly scheduled religious services on weekdays, including Catholic confession and Mass, a Jewish service and Torah study, a Hindu service, a Mormon service and services for other Christian denominations, along with the Muslim prayer service.

"I've never had a question about it" in four-plus years at the Pentagon, Army spokesman George Wright said.

The Army culture of religious freedom dates back to the Revolutionary War, Wright said, describing it as "a big tent."

"We're very tolerant here of one another and our faith," he said. "We don't keep track of who comes in."

Peace, Journalist.

"Indeed there are signs for those who reflect"

Shoulder forward, back, up, down. Good.

Physical therapy is a part of many people's lives - especially in older age. My 64-year-old mother-in-law tore a muscle in her upper right arm while trying to save my baby from falling.

Today was our first trip to see a physical therapist.

The therapist said my mother-in-law's muscle tear was, "the last straw on a camel's back. In other words, it was bound to happen.

A couple reasons she mentioned it could have happened: poor posture when sitting in a chair, straining the arm that's already hurt, and older age.

She now has three daily, hourly and twice an hour "procedures."

Exercise techniques

A combined 4-muscle unit called rotator muscles help your shoulder and arms move. The shoulder bone needs the muscle cushion to help it rotate comfortably in order to give good motor movement.

By excercising there can be an increase of blood flow to the sore area. This will allow the torn muscle to heal and her shoulder bones to go back into the normal position.

On top of sitting up straight without hunching or sitting cross-legged in a chair, my mother-in-law has to pinch back her shoulders, while holding her elbows back, 10 times every hour.

She then has to push her shoulders up, down, forward, and back 10 times, two times every hour.
Lastly she has to swing her body twice a day, by letting her right sore arm fall free style while she props her body on a counter top, leaning on her left hand.

Everyone needs motivation

As a woman of dignity who does practically everything on her own, including taking care of her elderly husband, my mother-in-law shudders at the thought of therapy and exercise. She now has to avoid her daily tasks.

Although my family has been telling her not to pick up the babies, pull large objects, fold miscellaneous things, or vacuum, you can catch her in one of her moments doing all of the above.

Today my sister-in-law and I did the exercises with her to encourage her to progressively move her arm rather than strain it.

I then explained the benefits of moving her arm around: a blood rush to the sore spot that will help heal the muscle.

Exercise and prayer

After returning to my room to pray the last prayer of the day, isha, I realized I was exercising during prayer.

For example, one of the postures requires you to bow down with your head on the floor, with both arms flat on the floor and your bottom has to be in the air while you recite a short prayer, "subhana rabbi wal awwal" or "Oh Lord of the Heavens, I worship you" according to one translation.

This same posture is recommended during pregnancies for round ligament pain recommended by the American Pregnancy Association, which promotes pregnancy wellness.

The association says, "If you are having consistent round ligament pain your health care provider may recommend daily stretching exercises. The most common exercise is done by placing your hands and knees on the floor, lowering your head to the floor, and keeping your bottom in the air,"on its website, www.americanpregnancy.org.

Other exercises in prayer include bending over by placing your hands on your knees, without bending your arms, which is similar to the free fall gravity exercise my mother-in-law has to do.

Since prayers are five times a day, prayers get your heart pumping through the movements.

Not only are you spiritually required to pray, but also you're required to get up and move to complete your worship!

The beautiful thing is Islam makes things that are good for you, obligatory. Islamic prayer combines both physical and mental exercise for a complete "work out."

Things that are bad for you, like drinking, are prohibited.

"Indeed there are signs for those who reflect (30:21)"

Journalist

- - - - - >

On a side note, here's a blog called "For Those who Reflect"
http://forthosewhoreflect.blogspot.com/
Symphonic Discord does not necessarily agree with the views of the above mentioned site.

You're a waka, waka

So I'm not a big fan of music. Meaning, that I don't really listen to music. I won't recognize the songs played on the radio. I won't know the names of a lot music artists, singers, and their relations.

Like if that topic comes up in a quiz game...you can count on me missing most of the questions.

I mean, I know some of the more basic things in music or pop culture. And I do listen to songs, just not like most people. It's not that I live under a rock or anything. I just, I dunno, don't always listen to music. Sometimes when I listen to a song I hear noise. And I'm the type that gets songs stuck in my head pretty fast and never know the lyrics past the first line of the chorus... so I avoid music cuz it's irritating when you keep singing:

Baby are you down, down, down, down, down
Dowwn Dowwwnnn

.....
Um
Baby are you down, down, down ,down, down
Downnnn, Dowwwnn....Dowwnnn Dowwwnn.....Baby are you down, down, down, down? Dowwwn Dowwwnnn

.......Um..Baby are you...Dowwwnn Dowwwwnnn


SO Yeah that's how songs go for me. I also try to avoid most mainstream music for a bigger reason as well, because of the connotations and themes they usually hold and our religion's disapproval of it.

BUTTTT, yes there is a but to all this..there usually is, lately Shakira's Waka Waka has really grown on me. When I first heard the entire thing I thought it was a pretty lame song.

Now, I just enjoy watching the video...It keeps the memory of the World Cup alive...and I love that. And I use 'waka waka' randomly through conversations. It just always seems to fit RIGHT IN. And for all I know I could be saying, 'idiot idiot' or 'i win, i win' everytime.

By the way, was anyone else ecstatic that Spain won?!!! And basically still is?

It's a pretty freakin amazing feeling when the country you've been rooting for since the very beginning ACTUALLY wins and doesn't just get jinxed by me rooting for it, though usually my jinxing ability is pretty strong ...take the US and Brazil for example
I guess Paul the octopus should be hailed for thankfully being my antagonist and the world's hero. (Yes the world, cuz we all know Dutch supporters wanted Spain to win deep, down inside...just perhaps rrrreally deep down).

GOO PAUL!!

Waka waka

-CC out

Mind your own beeswax. haha. ohh elementary school.

 A few weekends ago we had people from out of town. There's this guy who is friends with my dad. And then there's his wife. His wife is "nice" and "sweet", but she has one major issue: she points out people's flaws and mistakes in front of others. In an unkind manner. And does so in a holier-than-thou attitude that can be highly offensive and a huge turn off.

They didn't stay at our house but we did meet at parties and other social gatherings, so I was wearing Indian clothes to said parties because that's what Indians do. Indian clothing generally is loose and long and flowy. Anyways, she asked me for places where she could get nice {western} tops for her daughter's graduation since she wouldn't have time to go shopping when they got home. I gave her the address to a mall nearby which had just about every juniors clothing store so they'd have a lot of places to choose from rather than having to mall hop.

The same night we met at yet another party {it was a busy busy weekend and Indians like any excuse to get together to eat} and I asked her if she found any clothes. And she said no, her daughter doesn't like to wear short and tight clothes like I do, so they didn't find anything.

Huh??

I got offended.

They way she put it was that I wasn't a good Muslim or inferior to her and her daughter. She hasn't seen me in western clothing, because we only meet at parties where Indian clothes are worn so I don't know where she got off on the idea that I dress like that. She could have simply said she didn't see anything she liked.

Maybe I don't dress exactly the way Muslims are supposed to, but:

1. She hasn't seen me in western clothing so how could she make such a statement.
2. Maybe she thought I dress a certain way because of the stores I referred her to? That's stupid. Where in the US in a mall are you going to find a store with only Islam appropriate clothing??
3. There's a way to tell people you're doing something wrong. 

Either way, she didn't need to say it like that.I think it was uncalled for and rude.

Regarding number three; the prophet Muhammad {peace be upon him} never ever criticized people in front of anyone. If he had to correct someone he would do it in such a way that they wouldn't get offended. He did it indirectly so the person wouldn't feel singled out. The best example I can think of at the top of my head is when the prophets grand kids were washing for prayer and there was an old man doing the same. They noticed that he was doing it the wrong way but felt it wasn't right for them to tell him since they were so much younger and thought maybe he would feel disrespected. Instead, they went to him and basically asked him which of the brothers were correct in washing for prayer because each of them felt the other was doing something wrong. Each boy performed it perfectly and let the man decide. He man realized that he was doing it wrong and problem solved without making him feel inferior/bad about himself.

I have my flaws, and she has hers. Nobody is perfect. I've seen her speak to many people like that and it turns people away even more. Good character is part of being a Muslim. What brought people to Islam is the good character Muslims are supposed to have. Muhammad was one of the most influential people of all time and it was because of his character. NOT because he prayed to God all day long in a corner, or called people out on their flaws.

Nobody is perfect. Maybe she's stronger in areas I am lacking and vice versa.

Outward appearance doesn't necessarily clue you in to what kind of person one is. I know many women who don't wear hijab and are so so so much better than people who do wear it. And I've met so many amazing people and know so many good people out there regardless of beliefs. You can't judge a person based on their outward appearance. Or even what you see or think you know about them.