step by step

We're already a month into the new year! Did anyone make any New Year's Resolutions? Are they already broken? If you're like me, they probably are long gone and forgotten. I don't take them seriously anyways and rarely make resolutions, but I do tend to set long term goals throughout the year that I don't follow through with.

One way to keep track of goals is to make small term ones that will help you make the necessary steps in the future, thus attaining long term goals. For example: write down the steps necessary to reach a big goal. Now, turn each step into a mini, short term goal. Do one step at a time. The path to the ultimate goal won't look too bad. Do things little by little until you get the hang of it.

If your goal is to organize the house and have a system going, it'll be hard to do right off the bat. Tackle each room at a time, create a binder, get rid of clutter, step by step.

If your goal is to become fit, start off small by walking and light weight exercise and work your way up. There is no way your house will become like Martha Stewarts or you'll look like a body builder over night. Small, consistent steps are the key.

Muhammad, Peace and Blessings be Upon him said, "The deeds most loved by God are those done regularly, even if they are small."*

This I can see apply to everyday life in the sense that you see a change in yourself when you do small things regularly, rather than a ton of good things a few times a year. Good habits are formed by repetition and consistency. So make small changes and move on after you have implemented that change into your everyday life. 

I should use that advice for this blog. :) This is choppy, I had a thought in my head and wanted it get it out there before I forgot, but time isn't permitting me to go into details. I just wanted to make sure I didn't forget it later on. Have a good weekend!



*Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim

I came across this tweet and took this screen shot. Although technology definitely has it's perks, I think it's sad the effect it has on relationships. Friends, families, spouses; many prefer communicating through  screen, rather than face to face.

My husband and I decided to put our phones away when we are together. If the hospital needs him, they page him. It works out, no harm done and, I'm glad we decided to do this before it turned into a problem where we wouldn't be able to speak to one another without pressing buttons on a device. Before it became awkward. I also hope we can carry this on to our children and be one of those families that actually enjoys spending times with each other and not with each others' mobile devices and iPads.

Think about the last time you met up with someone face-to-face. Were you able to give them your undivided attention? Or were you always checking your facebook, twitter, instagram, twitter, etc? Multitasking isn't always a good thing.

I feel that it's leading to a lot of people developing something along the lines of Attention Deficit Syndrome. I have a longer post post dedicated to this written up, I'll be posting more about that later.

Jiggly Puff

Muslims don't celebrate Christmas, but it's hard to avoid holiday parties and dinners. And the fact that many out there get a break from work to gather with friends and family usually means heavy, comfort food. It's hard walking by a bakery or the bakery section of the grocery store and not be tempted to buy the many cakes and goodies.

So what it comes down to it - wether you have a special holiday or occasion to celebrate or not, the end of the year is always a danger zone for feasting on unhealthy things and slacking on exercise. I need a motivational boost every now and then.

So I'm posting here, and letting you know it's not easy! But I'm still trying. If I can't run, I walk. I'll try to go for herbal tea instead of coffee with creamer and sugar or tea with evaporated milk and sugar. Something healthy is always better than nothing.

If you start your day with unhealthy food, don't let that discourage you and allow yourself a full fat day. One unhealthy thing won't kill you, but one day can turn into one week and so on. So if anyone out there reads this and is struggling, I just want to let you know you're not alone. I'm trying, too :)

The Grass is Greener on the Other Side

Since I've had more free time these past few days I have been busy reading. And running. And reading. And sleeping. And reading and reading. Oh, and more reading. The result? I've been staying up too late reading, getting up too late, my run is about 4 hours later than it should be. Everything is later. The days are ending sooner so by 5 pm it feels as though I have done nothing all day, which I have not.

The problem with me is that everything looked so tempting to me before I had all this time on my hands. I made a list of things I wanted to do. I had a plan and it was to be awesome. Now that I found my books, aka my friends, I am holed up in my bedroom reading until the book's finished. I do not care for TV or movies, I do not care to eat out or cook. I'm not depressed, I just don't see the hype anymore. All these things I have been itching to do when I could not, do not look like they're worth the scratch. What does look tempting is studying. I am crazy. I know.

I've been reading The Hunger Games. I'm not good at book reviews, but I'll give you guys my opinion of the books and the movie in a post soon. Once I finished The Hunger Games I moved on to Catching Fire. I finished it in a day. I let it consume me until I finished it.

Reading is good. Everything can be good in moderation. But in excess it can be not so good. I guess that's my nature. I obsess over things until they are done. I obsessed over studying until I was completely done. I didn't go out and enjoy myself. I didn't enjoy life. I obsess over reading, until there's nothing left to read. I like to completely immerse myself in projects until they are completed. I clean until there's nothing else to clean. I seem to have an obsessive personality.

Despite me plowing forward until completion, I do not feel productive. To me, the way to feel so is to check things off my to-do list. This is also wrong. I jump from one extreme to the other. I guess I am going to be a workaholic when I get a job. But I don't want to be. I want to be able to enjoy my life at the same time. I need to step back, take in a breath of fresh air and enjoy the view, the big picture.

Maybe I should make a to-do list of things like "relax", "Call a friend", "bake something" and "take a walk outside". Things that feed my soul more than my mind. That way I can relax my obsessive mind by checking off things as well as nourishing my soul.

Mid-week pick me up

Out with the Old

I am a changed woman! I love to throw things away. I used to be sentimental about stuff, but over the years I have learned to toss out unnecessary items that I know I will never look at again and won't care to. For example, things my classmates signed for me back in middle school. We had this phase where we had everyone sign everything. I had poster boards, Tshirts, caps, notebooks, etc. All signed by the same people, half of whom I no longer am in touch with either. I threw out everything except a small baseball cap. Which I think I ended up tossing out because I can't find it anywhere. There weren't any personal messages on there, just generic "Keep in touch!" Stuff. So that went away.

I do hang on to cards and letters. I think they are a little more personal to me, so I keep those. Old shirts, socks, binders from my classes, notebooks, gone! I attribute this to having lived in India. That was the first time in my life I moved anywhere and I couldn't take everything with me. While in India we moved house 4 times! It was so annoying and even more annoying with so much stuff. It was amazing how much junk one can collect over the years.

A year and a half of moving back to America I got married and had to move again. So all this moving in such a short amount of time definitely did me some good in the clutter department! It wasn't easy to part with things people would find sentimental, but I got over it. Now I can't wait to throw things out. I've crated a list of things that help me get my life organized.

1. If I didn't look at it on over a year {in my case, many many years}, I shouldn't keep it. It's not worth it. Yes, some of my stuff is from my childhood, but I have memories and photos and that's enough for me. Everything else just makes my space look unorganized.

2. Clothes, shoes and accessories: Torn, discolored, or worn out items need to be tossed out. If you were to - God forbid - be in a car accident and needed strangers to help you get out, would you be embarrassed by what you were wearing? If the answer is yes, then get rid of it. Clothes that don't fit right and have not over the past year should go. Anything you can't style in a way that you like should also go. If you MUST keep old clothing, store it in a box or suitcase, throw a box of mothballs in there and put it in the basement or other storage area. Ideally, give it away. Accessories and shoes you would not be caught dead in should also go. If it STILL has the receipt on it, you haven't worn it because you love it but it doesn't look right on you yet, just return it. Places like TJ Maxx and Marshalls will give you store credit, no matter how old the item. Buy something else that fits well  and flatters your body and chances are you'll wear it a lot more.

3. Minimalism is key. Why do I need 3 deodorant sticks? I don't. I also don't need 298 pens and highlighters cluttering my desk. Yes, I am a student but I don't need that much. Give them to a doctor friend. Do you know how quickly some of them lose pens on a daily basis? A lot.

4. Think about how nice and organized everything will look once all the junk it gone. Every few months I de-clutter and I go through at least one large garbage bag every time. Stuff adds up. For  receipts, bills, etc buy an accordion folder with tabs in it. That way you can keep all your important papers in one place and know exactly where it is when you need it.

5. That's all I can think of that works for me. When I'm bored I like to look up organization tips or watch videos on YouTube. That really gets me inspired to make a move. After all the stuff is gone, you can work on the best part. For me, at least. Decorating!! Making it all pretty/fun/pleasing to the eyes.

Fitspiration

Hi, Everyone! I'm in need of a little motivation. I gained weight over the last few months and seem to be going uphill on the scale.  I didn't check because I didn't want to find out, but my jeans definitely felt tighter. I started running almost everyday and started to feel good about myself. Eating healthier came automatically and I wasn't craving as much sugar as usual. Then I finally got the courage to weight myself and found that I was 3 pounds over my pre marriage weight. I wanted to lose about 8-9 pounds and still do.

For some reason I just stopped. Within a few days I noticed a dramatic change in my mood and how I felt about myself. I went from a pretty healthy diet to one filled with junk food. I feel depressed and lumpy. So I am going back on treadmill and hopefully will stick with this. I mean, I should since it made me feel so good. This time a huge reason is because of the positive impact healthy living had on every aspect of my life. 

I was running every morning for about 30-35 minutes and walking a few minutes to cool down. I am on a time constraint now so instead of adding time to my running schedule I'll add speed. 

Breakfast was usually a homemade fruit smoothie or cereal and chai. I drink the chai for the caffeine but I'm switching to coffee for two reasons. One being chai doesn't work for me anymore and I need something stronger. And I tend to add more calories to my chai than my coffee in terms of evaporated milk vs sugar.

Lunch I try to put off until about 3 pm, but I realized irregardless of how late my lunch is, I will end up eating a little dinner. So there's not point in eating so late for lunch and eating again before I give those calories a chance to properly digest. I eat a huge portion of veggies that I microwave and season myself. And add a serving of carbs. 1/2 cup of brown rice, seasoned. Or a slice of bread. Sometimes soup. I like to eat a LOT. For me, it's quantity over quality. A small heavy meal will not do it for me. I'd rather have a large meal the same calories so I stay full for a really long time. 

Dinner is usually a little Indian food, which is pretty oily. I try to not eat much around dinner time, but I usually have to eat something. 

I snack on baby carrots and try to drink a lot of water. I don't like drinking a lot and get a lot of kidney pain as a result, so I really need to and try to drink as much as I can when I remember. If I'm craving something sweet I grab some dark chocolate because that's the only thing that curbs the craving. But if there is cake in the house...I cannot resist. I still have to learn how to stay away from it. I should probably just not take the first bite. 

I am going to add a few minutes of abs, squats and arm exercises to tone up a little. Oh! This is important! Support groups, exercising buddies, etc help you keep on track, if you can't do it alone. A bunch of girls have a thread where we try to help each other stay on track and it helps for the most part. I feel bad eating something knowing other people out there are trying to be healthy and are relying on me for support. :) I also need to keep in mind that results aren't going to come in a day or two. Like the picture below says, it took time to gain the weight and will take time to lose it. At least my mental health will benefit quickly. 

Anyways, what are some ways you keep healthy? Please share your tips, we'd love to hear them :)

Happy Friday!

When I'm studying, I'm in the zone and do not like being disturbed. Not even for a moment. That's how I've been since I started med school and that's how it's going to be until I take my next exam. Le sigh. Study-wise, I guess that's a good thing, because I tend to stay on track. But it's also a  horrible thing because so much stress comes along with it if I don't stick to my schedule.

Things on my to-do list when I finally have enough time to do it

1. Burn my books - I'm kidding. Knowledge is very valuable to me and feel like I'm dissing intelligence by doing so. I would never ever do that. But I am looking forward to putting them away, out of sight, as well as removing the desk from the bedroom.

2. Work out. I was running but stopped. I am totally going to join a gym and repair my body from months and months of sitting around for hours at a time.

3. Cook! I love cooking and want to try out fancy stuff that takes time and patience. I don't know if I'll be able to follow through with this one, but I'll definitely try.

4. Read. I have not read a novel for fun in about a year and a half. It's time. There are so many books I have in mind.

5. $hopping! This I'll do after the gym and after I lose 5 pounds. There are some things on my wish list, but I think I'll hold off until I drop a few pounds. This'll be motivation to get to work!

6. Garden. I was hoping to get some gardening in this summer, but that proved to be a fail. Hopefully this coming spring/summer of 2013

7. Pinterest. I take breaks and go on pinterest, saving recipes, DIY projects and other things. I want to actually do some of those and even post them up here!

8. Go places with my husband. When he's lucky and gets two days in a row off, we naturally want to go and take a day or two trip somewhere, but can't because I am not off. We have a list of a few places in the States we'd like to visit and hopefully we can do that one day. Lucky for me, he also has his boards coming up so I won't feel as bad because he has to study, too!

9. Give my closet a makeover. I am super excited to do this. We have a walk in closet, but it definitely can be changed to make the most of the space.

10. Redo the bathroom. Paint, retile, and change the mirror, lighting and countertop. I might as well change everything. :) It's not so bad, but I want to do something drastic to something. haha.

I think my brain is ready to get back to my books. Peace :)

The Little Stuff

Here are some of my week's amazing things in my life. I don't know what I should call this segment. I'm not a creative cat so if anyone can think of anything aside from thankful thursday, let me know!

1. Evaporated milk. It makes my chai so yummy. It's not great for me, and I am trying to cut down on a lot of fatty things, but I don't deprive myself of three things: evaporated milk in my chai, dark chocolate and carbohydrates. Good tasting chai makes me feel all warm and happy. dark chocolate tastes good, but also a little goes a long way and curbs further cravings for sweets. And carbohydrates because, if I did deprive myself of them, I'd go crazy when given the chance to eat them.

2. My health. I know this is a general topic, but I was thinking about it today. Living in India for a few years, I've had my fair share of infectious diseases; but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. However, I don't get sick often and I am grateful for that. I'd rather have one unusual illness every few years than many small ones throughout the year. I was thinking how awesome it was that I don't get sick often and I finally caught a viral infection a few days later. I guess I jinxed myself, but it really is a blessing. I do have seasonal allergies, but it can all be prevented.

3. Today's special people {and everyday!} are my friends. The ones who I can talk to about anything without feeling judged. The ones who will give me honest advice. The ones where I can meet after months or even years and feel like nothing's changed. Those people are hard to find, so if you ever find one of these gems, don't take advantage of them.

Anywhere but here

I'm having one of those days where I'd like to be alone and not talk to anyone. Actually this is day two. I just want to get away from everything. I wish there were good nature parks nearby. I'd grab my books and lunch and hang out there most of the day if I could. Phone and mind turned off. This photo is so beautiful and just looking at it calms my soul.

Appreciate what you have, not what you had

A lot of times I wonder what would have happened if my life didn't change. Or that I'd like to take myself back a few stages of my life in live there forever. Man is rarely completely satisfied with what he has. I was having a conversation with a friend and she was wishing she had waited before moving to the next phase of her life. Wishing she could go back to how things were. I sympathized with her, and wished I could move back a few years myself and relive those days that seemed so stress free.

But then I realized that every stage of life has stress or a concern or a worry. I just don't remember this fact when I have new worries and concerns to think about. I tend to only remember the good in the past. And focus on the "bad" in the present.

I am here today because of what happened in the past. I am who I am right now because of past experiences, joys and sorrows. If not, I'd be stuck in the past and wouldn't have accomplished what I have. And then I'd be sad that I was stuck in a rut and not moving on with my life. See? As I've stated earlier, Man can never be completely satisfied with his situation.

When this phase is over I will begin a new chapter of my life and wish that I could be where I am right now. Alhamdulillah, there is nothing wrong in my life right now, it's just stress. I should start counting my blessings; anything that makes me happy or feel good. A minimum of three a day. I'll try to do this as regularly as possible, but I'll probably need reminders! And I'll post them up here, aside from a few blog posts per month. {Edit: I'll start slow in regards to posting them here, but at least once a week}

Let's start with today, even though it is only 5:35 pm:
1. I ate a dosa. It's an Indian version of a savory crepe. Not everyone can make these right, the Indian restaurant here does not serve them and today I had the pleasure of eating one. Homemade and from scratch, made with love, eaten with love.
2. The weather today was a little warmer than the cold we've gotten this week and it felt to nice to feel the warm sun on my back.
3. I had pain in my foot and side before I started running this morning. I didn't want to miss today's run, so I decided to run anyways. But the pain stopped shortly after I started and I felt good after.

OK these are not so exciting, but I am a normal person and normal things happen to me. I'm just being real here. ;)

"The film is offensive because it misrepresents Islam. Senseless violence and murder is offensive for the same reason." Nouman Ali Khan

One act of stupidity doesn't justify another. My heart goes out to the US ambassador, his family and to anyone who has suffered as a consequence of the foolishness, immaturity and barbarianism. Muhammad, Peace Be Upon Him, would have trash thrown on him by a woman every day. He did not go out and throw it back on her. He didn't do anything at all. A few days went by without him getting trashed. Instead of rejoicing he went a visited her to see if she was ok.

Islam teaches peace. It teaches kindness and respect. The act of a group of people does not reflect anyone except those involved. If an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, what does overreacting to a stupid cartoon and killing an innocent person do? 

Is anyone there?

Some of us are starting new jobs, studying for boards and exams, taking care of families. I can't even keep up with the Kardashians. When I have free time all I want to do is lie around. Or turn my brain completely off, which is exactly what I do. I sign in to Netflix and I don't know what happens after that. I don't need alcohol to get a hangover.

When I do have that I should really write a blog post moment and sign in and type up a new post...nothing. Nothing come to mind. Nothing exciting, witty or clever to entertain you or ourselves with.

I'm pretty sure be boring was not one of the things on my list of things to look forward to as I aged.

Well I guess this is what happens when you're an unemployed college graduate studying for her boards. If I had a job I could at least tell you work stories, or random things I observe through out the day. You do NOT want to know what I see and hear at Barnes & Nobles. That's a little TMI for the blog. {but not for Twitter!}

I guess I'll try to pop in every once in a while. And if anyone is reading this, please let us know in the comments what you'd like to see on the blog, and if I come back {which I honestly have every intention of doing so} I'll make it happen. I'm sure more posts is one of them. El Oh El. Until next time.

Peace
Falling Up

Cat, Spider, and I

A couple days ago I had an incident with a spider. It was quite the confusing and adrenaline filled incident. It mostly involved me watching a spider go around in a circle 10 times around the light on my ceiling for almost 10 minutes (the spider took several breaks and went off course several times). Eventually I decided I could not trust this spider to continue staying on the ceiling and circling around the light in full view for the rest of the night. So I got my cat involved.
Correction: I TRIED to get my cat involved.
I awakened the said cat and started communicating to her that she has a job to do.
Said cat, however, just stared at my hand motions and blinked sleepily a few times. I tried pointing but said cat just followed my hand's motions back and forth.

Eventually I gave up and told said cat that I shall have to do this myself.
I rather liked the said spider. It was cute in the way it harmlessly circled. But, the thought of cute spider crawling on me while sleeping was not cute anymore. And if I cannot trust said cat to listen to me, I sure cannot trust a cute spider.
I contemplated capturing the said cute spider and unleashing it to the outside world. Oh the havoc it would spread.
But that method usually involves a lot of complications and yelling and screw ups.
And I was tired.
So I went with the unfortunate route.
I first asked the said cute spider to leave on its own three times. (No one wants a random animal to attest against you on the Day of Judgement in front of God)
Then I grabbed the closest napkin and showed said cat how to kill a spider.
But I was not to be lucky; the said cute spider fell on my bed when I swiped at it with my napkin. Panic ensues. Adrenaline squirming.
It was a game of cat and mouse. Only it was confused human and said cute spider.
Spider ran, I ran. Spider hid, I searched.
Eventually I found Spider as it ran on to my laptop.
And it was the end of Spider.

Said cat, that was observing the whole time, stood up as though to pay its respects either to said spider or to confused human. It even sleepily came over and sniffed the napkin that held Spider, approved, and then walked back over and lied down to sleep

It was a weird experience between a spider, a cat and a human. And as I type this, a wonder if I should have built an enclosure for Spider and kept it. Sure, it would have been the weirdest thing and I would have definitely crossed the weirdo line but it was not an ordinary spider.
It was said cute Spider.

From God we come, and to Him we return. {An Islamic prayer recited upon hearing the death of someone or in this case, a spider}

Your Life Before Your Death

There was a death in the community the day before yesterday. The funeral was yesterday. I did not know or meet the woman or her family but I went to the funeral. I went because there is a reward in attending a funeral and I also want people to pray for me when I die. Is that selfish? I'm glad I went because there weren't many people there and I figured we all can use every prayer we get, especially when we die. There's nothing more than can be done except pray for the deceased and hope that their stay in the grave is a comfortable one. 

I don't know her or her life story or her family, but I became pretty emotional. Death isn't easy to deal with. I've attended only a handful of funerals in my life and half of them were 3 of my grandparents'. The fourth I was too young to understand what was going on.

Anyways, everyone is going to die. We just don't know when. And I realized that I should make the most of my day, my hour, my minute, my second. I shouldn't squander my time on things and thoughts that don't matter. Living life to the fullest doesn't mean doing crazy things. I know people have a bucket list of things they want to do in their life, things they must do before they die. Some of those things include sky diving or something daring. That's fine, I have my own list of things I would love to see and do, but we should also try to include more meaningful things. Things that will leave an imprint on people's lives after we die. We should do things that make a difference, because honestly, after we're dead who is going to remember that we jumped out of a plane as a big milestone in our lives?

The prophet Muhammad Peace and blessing be upon him said, "Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: your youth, before you become old; and your health, before you fall sick; and your richness, before you become poor; and your free time before you become busy; and your life, before your death." This is so true. When I'm sick, I regret that I didn't get my work done when I could have. When I'm busy, I mentally kick myself for procrastinating, etc.

If you believe in the Hereafter then invest this time into it, because once we are gone, the only thing that will help you are your good deeds and the only thing that will harm you are your bad deeds. Nothing else, except a few things which can benefit: Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him said, "When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing Charity, a knowledge (of Islam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes supplication for him." (Muslim and others).

So, if you put a water fountain somewhere and people drink from it, you will get the reward for supplying them with water. That's just an example of the first. 

If I can't do something great now, I know I need to work towards being able to do great things in the future. I just hope I can get there before I die and I hope I get an A for effort if I don't make it. 

I planned on writing something happier and less serious, but funerals make me sad. 

Blobby Bobby

I logged on to blogger today to find everything changed. I like new things so I guess I'm not complaining. I just find it odd to be writing up a post in an unfamiliar setting. Ah well.

Anyways, I'm visiting my family for a few days. Every time I'm home I go into ultimate lazy mode. I am a complete blob and don't want to move or do anything. I just lie there like a wounded tiger. {I am a tiger according to the Chinese horoscope.}

I sleep in my brother and Sister-in-laws room since they don't live here; and my sister took my room after I got married and moved out. When I came I dropped all my junk right at the entrance of my brother's room and left it there. It hasn't moved since. And nothing can make me move it. Not even the number of complaints from my family members saying they've almost died tripping over my stuff.

I become a lethargic sloth at home. Not that I'm all busy at home with my husband. All I do there is sit at my desk and study all day. But man, am I neat. I'm Danny Tanner {the dad from Full House}. I study at a desk in my room and I can't study if my surroundings are messy. I can't focus at all. My mind will be on the messy bed, or the clothes lying around, or my makeup all over the dresser. I don't even wear makeup on a daily basis but it manages to take over my dresser every now and then.

Anyways, I am home and I am lazy. It feels good to be home. But why must I turn into a blob? I feel like a fatty cake. Anyways, this might be the most useless post I've ever written. But right now I feel pretty useless. Maybe I'll go clean something. yay.

God and boys

The blessed month of Ramadan is almost coming to a close. Its so sad to see the days slipping away. I keep looking back and trying to figure out what I accomplished this month. I feel like I just let the month pass me by without taking advantage of it.

The whole purpose of the month was to become God conscious people. If we were to think of God frequently we'd constantly be able to put ourselves, our actions, and our behaviors in check. The minute we forget God we start to forget ourselves.

God says in a verse I absolutely love in the Qur'aan:

وَلَا              تَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ      نَسُوا   اللَّهَ      فَأَنسَاهُمْ أَنفُسَهُمْ ۚ

 أُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ   الْفَاسِقُونَ

And be not like those who forgot God, so He made them forget themselves. Those are the defiantly disobedient. [59:19]

Its such a beautiful thought to know that if you know God you'll know yourself. You'll know who you are, where you're from, where you're going, your purpose, etc. 

On another note...I've had something on my mind for a while now and I need to vent... so here it goes. 

Gender relations in Islam has always been a touchy subject. How do Muslims interact with the opposite gender? We know that we can't have pre-marital sex or anything else that leads up to that including dating as we know it today. Okay, what about having platonic relationships? There's different opinions on the topic. I personally went from having many guy friends, to not having any platonic relationships with them in college, to where I'm at now. I take the opinion that its fine to have friendships so long as both parties know their limits. We're all mature adults here and should know whats appropriate and not appropriate right? 

Apparently not. Since I've been married hubs and I have hung out with many different crews of people. And in terms of mixed gatherings (both genders hanging out) I've noticed such a huge difference between singles and married people. Sorry to all my single girls...I'm about to call people out. 

Older married couples that we've hung out with are so mature in their way of interacting with the opposite gender. Whenever we hang out with couples there's always interesting conversation and everyone is usually comfortable and like themselves. 

Lately though the gatherings I went to with a bunch of single friends ...maan let me tell you. People do NOT act like themselves. I've noticed this over the years and even in myself in the past. Put a guy in a room and girls will start acting differently. I remember once a guy friend of mine was with his other friend and they were acting normally. Then a girl walked by and he punched the other guy and starting joking louder. His friend called him out and said, "man, how you gon start acting all tough when a chick walks by." I was cracckinng up but its so true for so many people. 

Sometimes I see girls talking louder and acting all giddy and all I can think is "OMG SHUTTUP AND BE YOURSELF PLEASE!" I don't know if its because people are trying to get married or because people want attention especially if the person is attractive? Who knows. But to my all my ladies out there...please don't do that because its foolish and looks it.

Oh and another thing to vent about... to my single ladies...PLEASE do not mess around with immature boys who do not know how to man up. These little college guys and even older are running around acting like they're 17 trying to hook up with girls like they're game and then they pull the "I-really-do-want-to-get-married card." No homeboy, you just want some ass. And when these little boys hang out with you and tell you you're beautiful and what not TRUST ME they are talking about you with other guys. 

Best advice I ever got when I was single was from a male acquaintance of mine who said, "If a brother isn't man enough to go to your parents right now then he's a boy thats not worth your time." Hubs called up my dad barely a week after we started talking. Now thats a man. 

Okay I think my vent is done. Here were the key points:

1. Don't forget God, you'll forget your sense of self

2. Stop acting different when the opposite gender is present...just be yourself

3. Do not waste your time on little boys who need to man up ... they'll use you, talk about you, and leave you 

The end. I apologize if I offended anyone! I just need to get this off my chest. 

"Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world for even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness" -Ibn Taymiyyah

Life is so weird. And I'm in a mood. So if I regret writing this later, maybe I'll delete it. But right now, here are my unedited thoughts.

Sometimes I think "treating people the way you want to be treated" is a bunch of crap. I think we should treat people, the way they treat us.If someones nice to you, be nice back.If someone is a jerk, treat them like a jerk.If someone is rude to you, be rude back! It just makes so much more sense to go through life like that. I'm tired of doing the other thing. Where I'm nice, and get treated like dirt. Or when I'm constantly putting myself out there, only to be disappointed by them time and time again. And sure everyone has their own obligations and priorities and what not, so I have no one to blame but myself for hoping. But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, it's still not fair. And I'm kind of tired of it.So I'm just giving up.And I'm just going to change how I get treated by people.And I'm only going to rely on God. inshaAllah. Because this constant feeling that I'm feeling, is making me tired. And it's draining so much from me. And I just cant do it anymore.

So I'm letting go of you.

And you.

And you.

The story of The End of an Era..... and the Beginning of a New One

A long, long time ago, in approximately 1984, my parents migrated from Bangladesh to the United States of America. Just as any parents(or humans, rather) that migrated prior, during, and after that time period, emigrated to the United States of America: for a better life.

So upon entering the land of the free, my parents moved into a house that was owned by my maternal grandfather and grandmother. They resided their with the latter, my two uncles, and my mom's sister and husband and kids, and then us. There were many a people living in that house. It was literally bursting at its seams. Four bedrooms, and each bedroom was occupied by each family. My family was in the master bedroom cause we had the largest family at the time. It was my mom, my dad, my older sister, older brother, and me.

Eventually as time went on, so too did our family members. Until it was at the point that the only people still living in that house was us. My immediate family. And by then, we had grown to an additional family member. And then another. And another. No one in the extended family wanted to stay in that area, they wanted to get out of the "ghettos", which is kinda ironic cause they left one ghetto to live in another.

Aside from that though, we were the only ones left. And my dad had already enrolled us in a school that he really liked so he bought the property from my grandfather and we stayed.

For 27 years.

This past April, we finally moved out of that house, and into a new house away from the depreciated urban city .

For the past five months, since we purchased, signed, sealed, dotted the I's and crossed the T's, I hadn't given much thought to the upcoming change that was looming. After all, there was much work to be done to the new house. Much, much work. It almost seemed like we would never move in. Or by the time we did move in, I would be married off and in a house of my own.

It's funny how one's words could become so true.

So here I am, writing this post while sitting in the new house, and not really wanting to write it.

And also while sitting in the new house, talking to my brother about my new apartment.

I'm moving out of the current new house and moving on to my new life.

With a new person.

The person that I hope and pray that I'll be spending the rest of my life with. InshaAllah, God willing.

And so here I am.

Here we are.

And this is the end.

But also, the beginning. InshaAllah.

P.S. I am very dramatic, I know.

Every time I think about it, I want to throw up.

For most of my life, I have found that I shy away from many things. I'm very timid and with respect to my students, I cant talk in large gatherings. I cant sing in front of most people. And I will definitely never act in front of anyone. Ever.

During 11th grade literature class in high school, we were required to read Frankenstein by Mary Shelley . And during that time, the required assignment happened to be an acting session. Each group of students was required to act out a scene from Frankenstein in front of the class. And then we had to do the same thing with another novel written by Richard Wright, Black Boy.

I skipped school both days, feigning a fever, and dont recall what ended up happening with regards to my grade. Obviously I passed though. Alhamdulilah.

Although it is a common joke between my friends and I, constantly making things "me, me, me", I have a very hard time being the center of attention.

I dont know how to react.

I dont know what to say.

And I dont know what to do with my hands and mouth! My mouth is always hanging open and my hands are always clenched in a weird gesture.

And I continuously have a nauseous feeling and a feeling of wanting to throw up.

Once upon a time, I thought I would get over this shyness.

Yeah, not so much.

Currently I've found myself thinking about an upcoming event in which I have to literally be on a stage. Not so much acting while up there, but up there nonetheless. In front of a group of people. Combine that with a numerous other thoughts floating in my head, and you have a very queasy Constructive Attitude.

And here we go again with the whole "I want to throw up" feeling.

And this time, I cant really skip the event.

Although it would be funny if I did.

Elohel.