Friday, December 7, 2012

The Grass is Greener on the Other Side

Since I've had more free time these past few days I have been busy reading. And running. And reading. And sleeping. And reading and reading. Oh, and more reading. The result? I've been staying up too late reading, getting up too late, my run is about 4 hours later than it should be. Everything is later. The days are ending sooner so by 5 pm it feels as though I have done nothing all day, which I have not.

The problem with me is that everything looked so tempting to me before I had all this time on my hands. I made a list of things I wanted to do. I had a plan and it was to be awesome. Now that I found my books, aka my friends, I am holed up in my bedroom reading until the book's finished. I do not care for TV or movies, I do not care to eat out or cook. I'm not depressed, I just don't see the hype anymore. All these things I have been itching to do when I could not, do not look like they're worth the scratch. What does look tempting is studying. I am crazy. I know.

I've been reading The Hunger Games. I'm not good at book reviews, but I'll give you guys my opinion of the books and the movie in a post soon. Once I finished The Hunger Games I moved on to Catching Fire. I finished it in a day. I let it consume me until I finished it.

Reading is good. Everything can be good in moderation. But in excess it can be not so good. I guess that's my nature. I obsess over things until they are done. I obsessed over studying until I was completely done. I didn't go out and enjoy myself. I didn't enjoy life. I obsess over reading, until there's nothing left to read. I like to completely immerse myself in projects until they are completed. I clean until there's nothing else to clean. I seem to have an obsessive personality.

Despite me plowing forward until completion, I do not feel productive. To me, the way to feel so is to check things off my to-do list. This is also wrong. I jump from one extreme to the other. I guess I am going to be a workaholic when I get a job. But I don't want to be. I want to be able to enjoy my life at the same time. I need to step back, take in a breath of fresh air and enjoy the view, the big picture.

Maybe I should make a to-do list of things like "relax", "Call a friend", "bake something" and "take a walk outside". Things that feed my soul more than my mind. That way I can relax my obsessive mind by checking off things as well as nourishing my soul.

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