Two days ago I felt a "choking sensation," went to the hospital to get it checked out, and now am in the waiting process to see an ear nose and throat doctor (ENT) specialist after Labor Day weekend.
God tests us to see if we can withstand the difficulties He imposes on us, and if we become stronger in faith.
"And surely we try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and crops, but give glad-tidings to the steadfast, who when a misfortune befalls them, say lo! we are Allah's (possession of Allah) and to Him shall we surely return. · Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly-guided." (2:155-157)
Ayub, (Job) the Prophet best known for his patience, was one of the 25 named prophets in the Quran.
He began with an abundance of health, wealth and children. Satan was convinced Ayub was only grateful to God due to his many blessings. Satan pleaded to God to test Ayub by taking these things away:
He lost his wealth.
The roof of his home fell and killed his family.
He lost his health; gnats chewed up his skin.
People left his side.
His wife who cared for him, left.
But he chose to be patient. He realized all his former possessions were gifts from God. He said, God had a right to take what He had granted.
At the very end when gnats were about to chew up Ayub's tongue, he prayed to keep the ability to remember God by worshiping with his tongue.
"Truly adversity has afflicted me and You are Most Merciful of all who show mercy." (21:83)
God then instructed him to bathe in a spring after striking a particular area of the ground with his foot. His illness was removed and his youth, family, and wealth were returned to him.
May God give us the strength to bear the burdens that He entrusts us with.
A long, long time ago, in approximately 1984, my parents migrated from Bangladesh to the United States of America. Just as any parents(or humans, rather) that migrated prior, during, and after that time period, emigrated to the United States of America: for a better life.
So upon entering the land of the free, my parents moved into a house that was owned by my maternal grandfather and grandmother. They resided their with the latter, my two uncles, and my mom's sister and husband and kids, and then us. There were many a people living in that house. It was literally bursting at its seams. Four bedrooms, and each bedroom was occupied by each family. My family was in the master bedroom cause we had the largest family at the time. It was my mom, my dad, my older sister, older brother, and me.
Eventually as time went on, so too did our family members. Until it was at the point that the only people still living in that house was us. My immediate family. And by then, we had grown to an additional family member. And then another. And another. No one in the extended family wanted to stay in that area, they wanted to get out of the "ghettos", which is kinda ironic cause they left one ghetto to live in another.
Aside from that though, we were the only ones left. And my dad had already enrolled us in a school that he really liked so he bought the property from my grandfather and we stayed.
For 27 years.
This past April, we finally moved out of that house, and into a new house away from the depreciated urban city .
For the past five months, since we purchased, signed, sealed, dotted the I's and crossed the T's, I hadn't given much thought to the upcoming change that was looming. After all, there was much work to be done to the new house. Much, much work. It almost seemed like we would never move in. Or by the time we did move in, I would be married off and in a house of my own.
It's funny how one's words could become so true.
So here I am, writing this post while sitting in the new house, and not really wanting to write it.
And also while sitting in the new house, talking to my brother aboutmynew apartment.
I'm moving out of the current new house and moving on to my new life.
With a new person.
The person that I hope and pray that I'll be spending the rest of my life with. InshaAllah, God willing.
"Egypt is free! Egypt is free!" Newspaper headlines, CNN breaking news, iPhone apps... Egypt is finally free, Praise be to God. The unimaginable actually happened... and within only 18 days... what a miracle.
Not really sure how to put all this momentum and energy into solid words. But the feeling is just amazing. Its not only about Mubarak stepping down... its the fact that the whole world was behind Egypt united, standing for justice, and continuously supportive. Im not Egyptian and outside of a few friends in Egypt, I dont have much of a connection to that country. But I still felt part of this revolution... I cried, I cheered, I held hope... I just couldnt physically be with the thousands on Tahrir Square day after day.
From January 25th to February 11th, 2011, Egypt is finally FREE!
As a twitter junkie, I found some inspiring tweets about Egypt from celebrities to scholars to journalists to everyday Egyptians:
ArabRevolution تباً لك ياطاغوت by NickKristof So the Danish are the first to stand up for #Egypt. While we vilified a whole nation for some cartoons. Puts things into perspective
DawudWalid الملا داود والد #Obama gives credit of uprising in #Egypt to young people.
andersoncooper Anderson Cooper Mubarak's lies continue.
YasirQadhi Yasir Qadhi Mubarak everyone!!! Mubarak has gone :)
naveensyed Naveen Syed Congratulations, #Egypt! So amazing, inspiring, motivational. You deserve it!
jamaaldiwan Jamaal Diwan The largest non-violent protest in world history prevails!!! Pouring out tears and prayers for those who we lost along the way...
IrshadManji IrshadManji The ppl of #Egypt have affirmed that liberty is not a Western construct but a universally shared aspiration.
iansomerhalder ian somerhalder Congratulating the people of Egypt- freedom is every living person's right! You deserve it! Dictators be done!
Alyssa_Milano Alyssa Milano Happy Birthday, #Egypt!
Ghonim Wael Ghonim by LowkeyMusic1 Dear Western Governments, You've been silent for 30 years supporting the regime that was oppressing us. Please don't get involved now #Jan25
awadofgum Spent the last couple hours giving out candy on the Diag. People's faces are hilarious when you tell them "Happy Egyptian Revolution Day!"
cwzymuslima cwzymuslima #Egypt did for itself in 3 weeks what the US could not do for #Iraq and #Afghanistan in nearly 10 years. Peace, not war, overcomes #terror.
nilebabe Today I'm so incredibly proud and inspired by the power that #egypt claimed back for itself. I'm proud of my family that contributed to it.
DawudWalid الملا داود والد we bombed Iraq to replace a dictator we propped up.#Egypt, it happen without bombs. So much for the inherently violent Muslim talking point.
NickKristof Nicholas Kristof Muslims and Christians praying together in #Tahrir. Very inspiring. Le'ts hope--and pray--that that unity persists.
**While we're in the midst of celebrating Egypts freedom, however, lets just not forget that it all started with a man in Tunisia who set himself on fire in protest to the Tunisian dictatorship. This is proof. One person can make a difference.**
Thousands of Egyptians are rallying in the streets standing up for justice and freedom, the same morals which we claim to have while sitting on our high American horses.
Personally, I think its amazing. It's history in the making! A new revamped Middle East? Who knows, maybe. All I know is that these people have been living under fear and injustice for 30 years. I remember once asking one of my teachers back in Cairo why he didn't grow his beard out, a common Muslim practice. His response: "I fear the government will kill me."
Its hard for us Americans to understand the hardships lower class Egyptians have been dealing with. There is such an insane discrepancy between the rich and the poor. The rich are living it up in their Californian houses behind gated communities while the poor are living in tiny apartments or shacks piling up families of 10 into a bedroom or two.
When I first went to Egypt several years ago one of the first things I was told was not to talk about government or religion in public or on the phone. Imagine living that of lifestyle. Couple it with not being able to get properly educated or solidify a good paying stable job.
Disclaimer:This post is all over the place, so bear with me.
The only thing I've ever known about Korea and the Korean people are they make some interesting dramas that Controlled Chaos likes to watch/talk about.
And occasionally I'll join her and watch them too.
That's pretty sad, isn't it?
(My knowledge of the place is sad,not the fact that I watch the dramas.)
My friend, M, recently told me about a documentary about North Korea. Some of the stuff that she was talking about just seemed unrealistic and downright primitive that I had to watch the documentary myself.
So that's what I did this past weekend.
I watched the documentary National Geographic: Inside North Korea, reported by Lisa Ling.
A doctor from Nepal, Dr. Ruetz, was traveling to North Korea to perform cataract eye surgery on approximately 1000 inhabitants of North Korea. He was going treat cataracts of people from the age range of 5-70. All in one week. Lisa Ling joined this doctor, under the ruse of working for the medical team and filming the surgeries. Along with filming the surgeries she was also able to capture, interview, and document the life of people in North Korea.
North Korea is a communist country and is currently under the rule of Kim JongIl. It is known as the "Hermit Kingdom", because of the government's successful attempt at keeping out anything foreign and allowing anything foreign to come in. The internet is banned. Cell phones are banned. And North Koreans teach their children to hate Americans and America. In the documentary, we see a mother singing a nursery rhyme with her young daughter that goes something like " The pathetic Americans kneel on the ground. They beg for mercy....." The country is basically isolated from the outside world. And Americans are not welcomed. North Koreans still blame America for the divide between North and South Korea. During her time there, Lisa Ling was the one and only American in the whole country.
People worship Kim JongIl in a god-like way, that it's frightening. After successfully completing 1000+ cataract surgeries, the doctor that performed it was not thanked once. Instead each patient, ran to a picture of Kim JongIl, praised him, thanked him, and vowed to do anything that he wanted them to do, and continuously talked about how indebted they are to him. I know a large part of it is due to fear. Many people fear the government, the soldiers, and fear for their lives and their family's lives and everything that at stake if they say anything against the ruler.
But the immense gratitude and loyalty that some people show their ruler makes you question and wonder sometimes what they are really feeling.One government minder that was escorting Ling and her camera crew around was extremely offended when one of the photographers laid on the ground in order to capture the full image of a statue depicting the "great" leader. He demanded that the photographer leave the country the next day.
What surprised me the post about the documentary (besides my lack of awareness) was how blinded, both literally and figuratively, the people of North Korea are. They have been brain washed to a remarkable extent that when questioned whether Kim JongIl could do any wrong in their eyes, many stared baffle eyed at Lisa Ling, and said "We dont quite understand your question." Because in their eyes, he could do know wrong. The question made no sense to them. And I am well aware that there is only so much that they can do for themselves without putting their lives in danger. And when you are only being fed one thing over and over and over, after a certain period of time you become immune and accustomed to it. It becomes your life. Your only chance at survival, sometimes, is to accept it.
This documentary was filmed four years ago in 2006. The state of North Korea now? Probably still the same.
So as not to make this post super long, I just want to end here by saying that it's most peculiar that people are so quick to point fingers and accuse others of oppression/being oppressed. It makes one wonder why those same people dont raise more awareness of things like this, governments like this, rulers like this, that openly and belligerently restrict and suppress their people.
When everyone goes home, spends time with family, eats turkey and stuffing, and thinks about the things they're grateful for.
Sounds all beautiful and flowery.
But there's a group of people in our country who don't join us in this turkey/gratitude celebration. Instead these people mourn this day as it commemorates the genocide of thousands of their ancestors.
The Native Americans.
The people who were here first living a peaceful life until the pilgrims came and exploited them then wrote down in history how amazing their relationship was and how everyone sat together on a long table on Thanksgiving and ate food they grew together.
So this Thursday, while we're eating our turkeys, lets think back and make a prayer for the amazing Native Americans who were massacred unjustly in our early history.
Today marks the 2nd anniversary of the existence of Symphonic Discord. I'm sure a lot of people didnt think we would last this long. Ahem....I had full faith in us though. Just saying....
So here we are. 2 years in the making and still going strong. Kinda.
All praise to the Almighty.
Anyways, just to give you some background information, Controlled Chaos founded Symphonic Discord on this exact date back in 2008. She started this blog to counteract the stereotypes that are associated with Islam and Muslims by giving an insight to the lives of typical Muslim girls, through their thoughts, opinions, and stories.
We've had some people come and go, had our fair share of ups and downs, and disagreements and celebrations here at SD.
And in celebration of our two year anniversary, I just wanted to share some of my favorite posts from our authors:
With that said, thanks to all of our followers for keeping us going and thank you to all our loyal commentators, we truly appreciate everyone's support. And here's to another successful year!!! InshaAllah.
Hopefully through the years we can continue to uphold our purpose of this blog is and in doing so also continue to make the world a bit more open-minded with our Symphonic Discord!
Today was Black Friday. And today was Eid. Eid -ul-Adha. There's no relation. I just though it important to mention both. Shopping is my thang.
We have two Eids: One after fasting {Eid-ul-Fitr} and another after a pilgrimage which is Eid-ul-Adha.
The pilgrimage is a journey to Makkah that every Muslim has to make, if he is financially and physically able to do so. We call this Pilgrimage "Hajj". Below is a picture of the Ka'ba. It was built by Prophet Abraham {Peace & blessing be upon him}. All those dot's around it? People!!!
There are a series of things one should do in Hajj. One is we go around the Ka'ba seven times. Another is we run between two mountains. It represents when Hagar ran between the two mountains looking for water for her son, Ishmael. {There are some more but then it'd get into a really lengthy post because I'd want to do it in detail. If you want more info let me know in the comments!}
Oh there's this place called Mount Arafat. We go and pray for forgiveness on that mountain. The day the pilgrims go there is a special day for everyone. If you fast on that day God forgives our sins from the previous year and the upcoming year. Two years worth of sins? It's a good deal. Especially for me. Kinda like Yom Kippur. This is the last day of the Hajj. And then we celebrate!!
Fun fact: Hajj is the largest annual pilgrimage in the world. About 5-6 million people come from around the world to worship God. I think dua to the swine flu situation there was an upper and lower age limit and some countries couldn't come.
It's pretty cool. Not the swine flu situation. Hajj.
I've never been, but I hope to one day. What's cool is that you can't tell who is rich and who is poor. You could have the richest man at one side and the poorest man on your other side and you wouldn't even know it. Everyone is dressed the same. Men are to wear two pieces of cloth that can't be tied/knotted and it can't be stitched. It's a simple garment. And they have to shave/trim their heads. I do not know how it stays on. I'm sure you can find a YouTube demo somewhere. There's no restriction on women, though. We can wear what we want yeeeah. But I think it should also be simple attire. The guy below didn't shave his head yet.
Anyways, Eid is celebrated after Hajj. During this Eid we sacrifice an animal. I think most people do a goat in my part sof the world. We keep 1/3 of it, give a third to other family members and another third to the poor. I know some people out there berate Muslims for this day, saying we love killing animals blah blah and that blood runs through the streets in some Muslim countries on this day. Honestly, what do you think slaughterhouses are?? They're cruel. They shock animals to death. Sometimes the animals don't even die and they're skinned alive. We have a certain way it should be done. And there's no or minimal pain. I don't know why people who choose to speak so hatefully against anything choose to remain so ignorant. At least get the facts straight. Then fight.
1) DO NOT KILL THE ANIMAL IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS. The other's freak out. 2) we give it 3 sips of water. 3) We say a prayer 4) Cut the Jugular vein so it doesn't feel any pain and loses conciousness immediately.
That's all I can remember. I think it shouldn't be a baby?? I've never done this and don't like watching it. Goats are my favorite animals, you know. I used to run after them in India when we visited as a little girl screaming "Bakkiiii!!" Bakri means goat but I couldn't say it properly.
Oh and I'd like to give a shout out to Best Buy for mentioning Eid. Although I have a feeling it was to get us out into their stores today lol. Oh and since Muslims go according to the Lunar calendar Eid won't be on Black friday next year. it's about ten days shorter than the Gregorian calendar.
Happy Eid & I hope you guys hauled in some nice stuff in the stores today. :) Okay folks, I'm out of time. I hope that was a little educational and not so boring. If you do have questions, comments, feel free to leave them. :)
I have this piece of flair that says "History Buff" that I wear occasionally.
I'm really not, but I like to think I am. And wish I was.
If I could go back in time, I would have majored in history and became a history teacher instead of an elementary school teacher. And the reason I didnt major in it is because people kept throwing the there- are- too- many- History- teachers- out- there- and- you-will-never-find-a-job-no-matter-how-hard-you-look-and-how-far-you-go line at me.So what was I to do but decide to major in what everyone thinks is always in demand: Science.
I used to do a "This day in History" segment here at Symphonic Discord too, but eventually I ceased to continue because they were labeled as being "super lame" or something. Whatever.
Anyways, there's something about how events that happened in the past altering the future that really fascinates me. And how because of one specific event a whole new set of events took place. Perfect example: Archduke Franz Ferdinand's assassination and World War I. I always like to ask and wonder to myself, well if that didnt happen, would it be like this today.
When I took my first political science class at University, my teacher made us buy this book called A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn and I fell in love with that book.It's not a textbook but not a novel. It's just a really well written book.
To sum up, it was history told from the viewpoint of the victims or the people who never really got to tell their side of the story. It's a history book told by women during the suffrage, history told by slaves during slavery, history told by the true Native Americans, history telling us what Columbus was really about when he came to the New World, and history told by the individuals that lost their loved ones during the September 11 attacks.
Basically, the history that we so rarely hear and learn about.
Some people might say that the book is completely biased but Zinn himself defends and affirms his biased views by saying: This makes it a biased account, one that leans in a certain direction. I am not troubled by that, because the mountain of history books under which we all stand leans so heavily in the other direction — so tremblingly respectful of states and statesmen and so disrespectful, by inattention, to people's movements — that we need some counterforce to avoid being crushed into submission.
As a teacher, I'm always torn between teaching what is in a textbook as opposed to what I believe to be true.
Some people believe when it comes to History, there is a fine line between fact and opinion. So, where exactly, as educators, do we draw the line?
I never really understood why certain people got their birthday celebrated for a week and got all sorts of recognition. While others just have to settle for one measly schmeasly day.
Actually now that I think about it, sometimes it seems like my friends and I are celebrating each others birthdays for like months since we don't actually do anything for that particular individual until five months later. Never the day of. But in all actuality, we are just really, really busy people and don't get the time to celebrate the day of. Either that, or we're too lazy. Or broke. Or both.
But that's neither important nor relevant to Dr. Seuss.
So moving along to the point: this week I was reading one of his books: Fox on Socks to one of my precious students. While reading the book, I was getting irritated because 1. The kid wasn't listening to me and 2. While reading it, I kept thinking that it made no sense.
Later on in the day after reading that book to the annoying kid, I was complaining to a coworker of mine about how Dr. Seuss books are pointless and how I couldn't believe that someone got paid to write stuff like that and then go on becoming as famous as he did. And really rich. While ranting to my co-worker, another co-worker jumps in and says that Dr. Seuss' books do make sense and each book has a hidden message about various issues that go on in the world. Or went on in the world.
I didn’t see how that was possible. So she went on to explain to me that some of his books deal with racism and environmentalism and ethnocentrism and all sorts of isms.
I didn’t believe her.
So I wikipediaed it. (I heart wikipedia. It has like EVERYTHING. And I don't understand why it's not considered a scholarly source to use when writing umm scholarly-ish papers)
And it turns out she’s right.
According to Wikipedia:
Many of Dr. Seuss's books are thought to express his views on a myriad of social and political issues: The Lorax (1971), about environmentalism and anti-consumerism; The Sneetches (1961), about racial equality; The Butter Battle Book (1984), about the arms race; Yertle the Turtle (1958), about anti-fascism and anti-authoritarianism; How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1957), about anti-materialism; and Horton Hears a Who! (1954), about anti-isolationism and internationalism.[11][9]
And here is an example from one of his books Yertle the Turtle. As stated earlier, this story is thought to have been about anti-authoritarianism:
And today the great Yertle, that Marvelous he,
Is King of the Mud. That is all he can see.
And the turtles, of course... all the turtles are free
As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.
Alas! What would we do without Wiki.
Seriously who would’ve thought.
So I do apologize to Dr. Seuss and any die hard Dr. Seuss fans out there for doubting his writing style and mocking his work and accusing him of making absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Do forgive my ignorance.
And in honor of him and his birthday I wanted to share some of my favorite Dr. Seuss quotes. (Quotes that aren’t necessarily from his books, but inspirational nonetheless)
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own.
And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”
Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than you.”
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
So obviously today is Halloween. Kids everywhere are excited to go trick or treating and get bags and bags of candy. All the bratty kids at my school were super excited, wore their costumes to school, and couldn't stay focused on any of their lessons. They had the cutest costumes on too. You had your witches and goblins. Princesses and superheroes. Rock stars and rappers. You know, the typical stuff. But there were some kids that were really creative and didn't go for the typical. One girl was a candy corn. Another a geisha. Another was Hannah Montanna, with a full blown blonde wig. (I swear I thought she was supposed to be Tina Turner and when I asked her just that, she looked at me like I was an idiot) And another that was the "popular girl in high school".
If there is one Western holiday that I would have loved to celebrate, as a kid, it would have been Halloween. (Muslims don't celebrate Halloween.I do believe it's obvious why we don't. But just in case it's not so obvious, we don't believe in this pagan holiday of witches and souls of the dead being resurrected. I don't think we're the only religion that feels this way though. I'm sure devout Christians and Jews are the same way. Probably Hindus and Buddhists and Catholics and other religions have similar beliefs too. I think. )
As a kid, I didn't understand why my parents were so boring and didn't let my siblings and I go trick or treating. The thought of being deprived of free candy drove me crazy. And I was super envious of all those kids that got to do what I couldn't. And in order to compensate that which we were being deprived of, my siblings and I went to the store and bought loads of candy for ourselves.
Even though we got all the candy, it still wasn't Halloween. I wanted to dress up just like everyone else. My lame attempt (every single freaking year)to fit in with my classmates during Halloween was to wear shelwar kameezto school and say that I was an Indian princess. I cringe just thinking about that..My parents didn't mind that I "dressed up" to school on that day. They probably just thought that I wanted to show the school my ethnic side. HAH!
Anyways, I used to get this same feeling for every single holiday during those days. Be it Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Easter. I wanted to participate. And again, didn't understand why we were the lame and boring family that didn't do it. I don't know if I ever asked my parents why we didn't celebrate certain holidays, or whether or not they discussed it with us. However, I do know that it's a difficult decision to make for a parent. Do you allow your children to have "fun" with their classmates during school hours, but not allow them to participate in the actual holiday, outside of school? Or do you just keep them home from school and shelter them from these different ideas and beliefs (There were two moms that actually did that today). It's a difficult decision to make especially when your kid wants to do those things that they see everyone else doing.
As a student teacher, I felt all those memories come back to me today. The kids at school were pumped and excited about Halloween, and it made me feel giddy and happy inside too (Not to mention it allowed me to experience the psychotic-ness of a "holiday" celebrated at school and parties in the classroom. It was one longggggggggg day today). But it also made me ask myself, what would I do if my kid wanted to "celebrate" or enjoy these holidays?
I feel like I haven't posted a "This day in History" post in a while. It seems like the random days I choose to see what happened on this exact day years ago, I can never find anything interesting. And when all else fails, I come and read old emails from the particular day in which we are in.I keep old emails from everyone. It's something I started doing when I switched to Gmail. Gmail has unlimited storage space. Well I'm sure it's not unlimited, but it seems like it. So because of that I don't throw away emails I get from friends and family.I started using Gmail in 2006, when Artistic Logic introduced it to me. Artistic Logic and I have emails from almost everyday since 2006. I like looking back on them and seeing what we were doing/talking about/latest drama in our lives.
So with that said, on this exact day ,August 23,2007, a year ago (according to the email I found), my brother met his future wife.
Before I get into that, I must explain that it was an arranged marriage. In South-Asian/Indo-Pak-Bengal culture, most marriages are "arranged"--so to speak. And yes, it does still happen even though it's the 21st century. And yes, it does still happen in America too, even though we're not in the "homeland". It's normal for most of us. Long story short, this is how it works: A proposal comes from somewhere, family does a bit of a "background check", if "background check" is good to go, guy meets girl, and girl meets guy. They talk for a bit, families get to know one another and if they like each other then it's a done deal. It becomes known in the community that the guy and girl are taken and betrothed to one another. And in a few months, while they get to know one another better (again depending on the family) the wedding reception is planned. I'm sure there are minor differences here and there, depending on the family, but for the most part, that's how it works. Or at least that's how it happened with my brother and sister in law. It may be weird to you, but like I said, it's normal for us. It's how the culture rolls.
So I remember when we went to go see my sister in law, it was a new experience for me. I was with my family and her entire family was there too. My sister in law was an acquaintance of ours. And so it was kinda awkward for me to see her in this situation.I had never been to a "meet and greet" before, except when I was like 10 or something, too young to remember anything. I remember sitting around and mingling with her relatives. My brother in the other room, sitting with her brothers, nervous as heck. my sisters and I kept staring and laughing at him. And we kept sending him text messages telling him to sit up straighter, converse more with her relatives, and to stop eating so much. And after about two hours of doing that, the guy and girl finally met. And they only talked for like ten minutes, max. It seems pretty weird, I know. My brother left that day, hoping she felt the same way that he did. And a couple of days later, he got his answer. From that initial meeting, they liked each other. And now a year later, my sister in law and brother are expecting their first child, God willing. And genuinely happy, I might add.
On a side note when people who aren't used to cultural norms such as these, hear about arranged marriages, they think it's backwards and too traditional. I've had many friends tell me that this is America and we don't have to do that anymore.And ask me why don't we just date and look for a spouse for ourselves, instead of our parent/guardian doing it for us. What they fail to understand is, that we aren't being forced into these marriages and the reason we still "practice"(for lack of a better word) is because that is how we were raised and that is just how our culture is.
Another aspect that coincides with arranged marriages in South Asian cultures is religion. Most people in the South Asian countries of Bangladesh and Pakistan, and parts of India, follow Islam. Islam prohibits a man and woman from dating.Instead, in Islam relationships before marriage,of any kind, between members of the opposite sex is forbidden.
In most Muslim families, when the family and/or individual decides they want to get married, most abide by the following guidelines, as found on this website:
Young person makes du'a (prayer)for Allah(God) to help him or her find the right person
The family enquires, discusses, and suggests candidates. They consult with each other to narrow down potential prospects. Usually the father or mother approaches the other family to suggest a meeting.
Couple agrees to meet in chaperoned, group environment. The Prophet of Islam (peace be upon him) said, "Not one of you should meet a woman(or man) alone unless she is accompanied by a relative ". The Prophet of Islam (peace be upon him) also reportedly said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them". When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an (24:30-31) to "lower their gaze and guard their modesty...." Islam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, so this rule provides safeguards for our own sake.
Family investigates candidate further - talking with friends, family, Islamic leaders, co-workers, etc. to learn about his or her character.
Couple prays salat-l-istikhara (prayer for guidance) to seek Allah's help in making a decision.
Couple agrees to pursue marriage or part ways. Islam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women - they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don't want. Islam prohibits forced marriages.
This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage, by drawing upon family elders' wisdom and guidance in this important life decision. Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why these marriages often prove successful.
It may be weird to you, but like I've been saying over and over and over, it's normal for us. And instead of thinking we're weird because of that, or "backwards" it would be beneficial for both parties to ask/answer questions and understand these practices/beliefs/culture/religion,etc.. better.
And after understanding it better, if it still seems weird, just know that for some of us, dating is weird.
A couple weeks ago I had my final exams for a couple courses I took this summer. I was studying in a group study session on the day of the last final when I was asked by one of my classmates where I am "originally from." I guess all this time he had been under the impression that I was of Arabian descent as most people assume owing to the Islamic head-covering I wear (termed Hijab in Arabic). When I told him I was from Pakistan he began to question me about the country's history. His first question was when did it break apart from Hindustan and become a sovereign state. I answered 1947 and he looked surprised and muttered something like "I thought it was like...1999." I was a bit amused at this and realized people really don't know much about Pakistan and since today (August 14th) is the official Independance Day of my land of origin, I thought to blog some little known facts about it that I researched. Hope you guys enjoy the read and learn a little from this. =)
Here goes: 1. Pakistan stands bordered by Afghanistan and Iran in the west, India in the east and China in the far northeast.
2. Pakistan has been invaded by Persians, Greeks, Arabs, Turks, Afghans and Mongols, in the past (how come the British aren't included in this list as well??).
3. The geography of the country ranges from high mountains in the south to hills in the west. Vehement rivers, steep valleys, snow covered peaks and gigantic glaciers make up the north of the country. (Nope, its not all desert)
4. It is the home of 8 languages of which the national language is Urdu (not Pakistanian as I've heard some people say lol) and the offical language is English. The remainder include Balochi, Pashto, Persian, Punjabi, Sindhi and Siraiki.
5. The majority follow Islam followed by a minority of Christians and Hindus.
6. Like the USA has 50 states, Pakistan has 4 provinces: Punjab, Sindh, NWFP and Baluchistan. (NWFP is short for North Western Frontier Province)
7. Pakistan is home to the second highest mountain on earth called K2 (after Mount Everest); this mountain comes in the Karakoram mountain range.
8.Mehrgarh, lying on the Kachi plain of Balochistan, dates back to 6000 BC and is one of the earliest known farming villages in the Indus Valley.
9. Pakistan has the second largest Muslim population in the world, after Indonesia.
10. The silk route actually exists in Pakistan today, built in the 60's and 70's by the Pakistani and Chinese government. This unique highway follows the ancient silk road over a breathtaking knot of mountain ranges that incorporates the Karakorum, Pamir, Kunlun, Hindukush, and Himalaya mountains.
11. Pagan tribes also still exist but more and more are converting to Islam. These are people known as the Kalash residing in the Hindu Kush mountains (specifically in Chitral). (If I could add a photo, I would but seriously guys look up the Kalash on flickr or google images , they are a unique people).
12. Finally, lets pay some homage to my Bangladeshi friends =D. Yes, Pakistan was initially two regions, East and West named for their location relative to India. East Pakistan gained independance in 1971 and became Bangladesh.
Well, that should do for now although this doesn't even put a dent into the rich culture, diversity, and history of Pakistan. Its one of my goals, God-willing, to learn about it one day AND be able to tour the different regions of the country and see/experience everything first-hand. Lastly, a little about the picture I posted. Well, I was supposed to take a more fitting picture today but due to a MASSIVE migraine I just couldn't get to it. SO, I dug into the archives and found this. I chose it mainly for the colors green and white as they are the colors of the Pakistani flag.
And, of course its not August 14th anymore so I'm already late on this post. 15 minutes into August 15th and I guess I'll leave with a Happy Independance Day to India now. In fact, Happy Independance Day to all of Southeastern Asia tehehe.
Couple of things/thoughts that made me smile today:
Looking at Artistic Logic's photography over the past year,especially her first attempts at photography (see above picture) and knowing I was one of the first few that she came to for critique and an opinion.
Summer tuition bill paid off!
Knowing that I'm almost done with the summer semester. I only have one final exam left and it's the last class for my Teacher Education program before Student teaching. Alhamdullilah! Almost there!
Going to the public library and seeing a dad reading to his daughter.
Reading old emails from this exact date last year (08/11/2007) where I was asking my friends for pics for a slideshow that I was putting together for my Speech class. The theme of the speech was "Ceremonial" , i.e. wedding toasts, acceptance/presentation of an award, congratulatory speech, farewell presentation,etc. I chose to do a speech on the eve of our hypothetical graduation ceremony where I'm with my closest friends and I'm giving a toast to them. I think that's what it was.
Watching two homeless men play an intensive game of chess
One of my closest friends being back from Mexico.
Going to work and not feeling the negative emotions I usually feel.
Thinking about my resignation as supervisor. (Oh by the way, did I mention that I resigned as supervisor: one of the best decisions of my life)
And also knowing that I'm quitting that job in December, God willing, helps too. Countdown has officially begun :)
The three hours I spend at work going by pretty fast.
Finally finding a book about the last Prophet of Islam, Prophet Muhammad's (peace be upon him) life, that I feel content with.
Approach of Ramadan, the 9th month of the Islamic calendar. Also the month where Muslims observe fasting from dusk til dawn.
Knowing that someone, somewhere, out there is making a special prayer for me. I can seriously feel it, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
And lastly this poem that was originally uploaded with the picture above:
Happiness deep down within. Serenity with each sunrise. Success in each facet of your life. Family besides you. Close and caring friends. Health, inside you. Love that never ends. Special memories of all your yesterdays. A bright today with much to be thankful for. A path that leads to a beautiful tomorrow. Dreams that do their best to come true. Appreciation of all the wonderful things about you.
That is the official slogan for the 2008 Olympics. The Olympic games begin today. 08/08/08. This is what you would call History in the making.
I'm super excited for them. I love watching the gymnastics portion.
And I was watching the commercials for this years Olympics, and I was really happy to see a Muslimah(Muslim female) athlete. Not really sure which sport or country she represents, but happy to see her nonetheless.
I guess I was living under a rock because after doing some research I found out that this is not the first time that Muslim women have taken part in the Olympics. The most Muslim women athletes that have taken part in the Olympics was in 2004, where there were more than 50 Muslim women representing their respective countries. Among these women were Friba Razayee, who was the first woman to compete for Afghanistan at the Olympics, setting a historical record for her country. And Rubab Raza, was the first female swimmer Pakistan sent to the Olympics. And Egypt, alone, had 15 Muslim women participating the Olympics.
I'm not sure who the Muslim women are in this years Olympics, but I'm going to try to find out. I've never followed the Olympics like other devout fans, but I think I'll watch more of it this year. The kickoff for the Olympics begins at 7:30/6:30 today. Don't miss it!
On August 2, 1995 (exactly 13 years ago) my youngest sister was born. She is the youngest out of four sisters and one brother. I remember that day very clearly. I can't write a post about my other siblings' birthdays because obviously I can't remember anything from their birth.
Anywho, on that day, my mom and dad left us four sisters home alone (my brother was in an Islamic School in New York at the time). They didn't tell us where they were going. Ok, I lied. I think my dad made up some lame excuse like my mom's hand hurt so he was taking her to the doctors. They never told us that my mom was pregnant. I never even realized that my mom was pregnant. I don't even think I knew what being pregnant was. Okay I must admit here that me, as well as my siblings, are very oblivious to certain facts. And apparently my mom being pregnant was one of them. How we missed that, I have no idea. I blame it on living such a sheltered life. Either that or my parents were to0 embarrassed to tell us that my mom was pregnant .Not embarrassed of the pregnancy, mind you, but I guess just talking about it with their children made them shy? Who knows. I never asked and never will.
All I know is that one minute my sisters and I were watching 90210 [I know what you're thinking. Why were a bunch of girls, from the age range of 4-13 watching 90210. What can I say? We really liked it and had older teeny bopper cousins who made us watch it with them] and the next minute my dad gives us a call and tells us that we have a new baby sister. I'm serious, that's how it happened. One minute my mom's hand was hurting, next thing you know, she was giving birth.
I tell ya, I had one interesting childhood.
Anyways, clearly it is my younger sister's birthday today, and in an attempt to be nice to her (since I'mthe only one that is incapable of being nice to her apparently) I wanted to wish her a Happy and wonderful 13th birthday! May your teen years be filled with acne and attitude as was mine. Just kidding..hehe. (And yes, she will read this because Iforceall of my siblings to read this blog)
On July 30, 1948 (exactly 60 years ago) professional wrestling premiers on prime-time network TV.
My nana (maternal grandfather) loved watching professional wrestling. It was always funny to watch him watch it. Imagine a 70+ man getting worked up over wrestling. And then imagine him doing these weird hand gestures while watching it and laughing a toothless laugh. Hilarious time. Whenever we used to take the remote from him and change the channel, he would tell us to put it back and invite us to watch it with him. Sometimes we did. (We meaning his grandkids).
Sadly he passed away four months ago. We lost him to cancer. Saddest day of my life. My nana was one of those people that you never thought would die. Not that I thought he was immortal, but he was just one of those people that I thought would be around forever.
I'm not writing this post to talk about the sad times though. Nor do I want to be morbid in any way, shape, or form. I'm not thinking about the should'ves, woud'ves, or could'ves. I was just thinking about him and the happy and fun times shared with him and the professional wrestling thing made me think of him. Yes I miss him, but I dont think he would have wanted any of us to be sorrowful and miserable without him here. I think about him frequently and pray for him.And that's what my family and I try to do. We try to cope as best as we could and send our prayers upon and to him. I've found that my siblings and I talk about him on a daily basis. He used to do the funniest and most outrageous things. He asked me what kind of guy I wanted to marry. I told him, "I want a guy who will let me kick my feet up and do all of the housework for me." As old as he was, he was never the type of man who was stuck on traditional values (You know the ones that claim that women should cook and clean, and stay at home. Lots of older generation people think like this. Not all, but quite a few.) When he heard my response, he couldnt stop laughing, and told me that he would start looking right away. He wanted the best for his grandchildren. He always asked about my schooling and work. He encouraged all of the women in our family to continue our education for as long as we wanted. During the hot summer days, he never wanted to stay inside the house where the air conditioner was. He liked sitting in the sun and sweating. One time he was walking around my neighborhood and these two adoloscent boys were riding their bikes and made a rude comment. He picked up rocks from the ground and started throwing it at them. He used to always give the Adhaan (call to prayer) in our house. Actually he used to do it in any house he was staying at. When it was time for Fajr (1st prayer of the five daily prayers that Muslims observe, usually prayed at the beginning of dawn), he would be the first one awake. He would yell at all of us that were still sleeping and wouldn't stop yelling until we were awake. He had a keen interest in meeting all of my friends. And once he did meet them at my brother's wedding, he asked about them all the time.
He used to break out in random songs and sometimes even start dancing. He was a hilarious and wonderful man. My true partner in crime. May God give him peace in the hereafter and grant him Heaven. Ameen.
On July 15, 1976 ( exactly 32 years ago) a 36-hour kidnap ordeal began for 26 schoolchildren and their bus driver as they were abducted near Chowchilla, Calif., by three gunmen and imprisoned in an underground cell. (The captives escaped unharmed, Alhamdullilah [Thank God].)
36 hours! That is a long time. And an underground cell!? That must have been one memorable bus ride for those children.
I know that this is a very scary and terrifying situation,especially for the 26 school children and their parents who were probably worried sick. And I really hope that those three gunmen were captured and imprisoned, but I cant help but laugh at the fact that the three gunmen decided to hold children hostage. I mean, what did the they demand as their ransom? The children's lunch money? Couldn't they find someone their own size to pick on.
Like I said, that must have been one memorable bus ride for those kids.
This also reminded me of my childhood. When I was in elementary school, my siblings and I took the bus to school everyday. We had some crazy memories on those bus rides. Like the one bus driver that was obsessed with one of my sisters and always called her "Twinkie". Or the other male bus driver that called my brother "Cherry" all the time(dont ask). Or the time when I was crying so much because I was scared the bus would leave us if we didnt get to the bus stop on time, while my siblings sat in front of the TV and watched the Flintstones and laughed at me. (Hey, I was obsessed with school back then and having perfect attendance). Or all the countless times we stood at the bus stop and my brother would tell my older sister that he had to use the bathroom and never come back (He was the complete opposite of me, and hated school, and tried anything and everything to get out of actually going to school.The bus left him every single time and boy did my dad get mad at my brother for skipping school). Or the time my sister brought an air freshener and sprayed the entire bus because it always smelled awful .Or, again the countless times the bus didn't show up on those cold, snowy, winter days and we sat around the radiators in our house and drank microwaved chocolate milk pretending we were sitting in front of a log fire drinking hot cocoa. Or the time the bus driver stopped the bus in the middle of the highway because the kids on the bus were being too loud and rowdy and wouldn't listen to him. And the time when my sister had pneumonia on the bus. We were near home and the bus came to a stop at our regular bus stop. My brother was so scared because my sister couldn't breathe that he ran across the street, almost getting both of them killed by an oncoming car, and the bus driver coming out of the bus, waving a broomstick and yelling at my brother. And the other time we were at this other bus stop and we saw a lady having a seizure in the middle of the street. Or the time we sat on the bus and witnessed another car running over a lady. We sat on the bus for an hour and a half while the bus driver gave her statement to the police.
Like I said, crazy memories, not as crazy as the hostage situation though, Thank Allah (God).
I haven't been on a bus ever since I graduated fifth grade.
Sometimes I miss those bus rides and being a kid and all those memories with my siblings.
Could you imagine waking up one day, knowing that you were going to change history in some way. I think that's what Earhart must have felt on that fateful day in July.
She probably woke up and thought to herself, "Ok today's going to be a big day for me. It's going to be the day that I try to go around the world in one flight." She obviously wanted recognition of some sort. It's so sad that it was such a tragic ending and it didnt end the way that she intended it to---with her getting recognition for accomplishing the first round the world flight.
I wonder if she reached her goal and then disappeared, or did her disappearance happen before she could finish her round the world flight. I wonder what happened--what caused her disappearance. I wonder what her last thoughts were. I wonder whether or not she regretted attempting this feat during her last moments. I wonder what encouraged her to do it to begin with.
It's so fascinating and bizzare all at the same time, dont you think?
On July 1, 1985 (exactly 23 years ago) the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that public school teachers may not enter parochial school classrooms, to provide remedial or enrichment instruction. (http://www.scopesys.com/cgi-bin/today2.cgi)
What I got from this ruling is that basically if a public school teacher wants to teach at a private religious school or a private school affiliated with the church, with the hopes of sharing different perspectives and ideas (about religion?) with their students, they cant. From what I understand, they can only teach whatever the church deems appropriate.
I remember during the summer of 2006, I was offered a tutoring position in an urban school district. I went to training for a couple of days, and met many teachers from various backgrounds and districts.Many of those teachers offered me advice for my future classroom, asked where I would like to teach when I was finished and so on and so forth. One teacher was telling me how she taught at a Catholic school and asked me if I would ever be willing to work at a Catholic school. My first thoughts were "Would they hire a Muslim?" And to be honest, I really don't remember giving her a response or asking her whether or not a Catholic School would hire a Muslim.
I would like to think they would. I mean if I were teaching any other subject besides the religious/spiritual aspect, I don't see why they wouldn't hire me.And I know many Islamic schools/educational institutions that have non-Muslim teachers. ( I really dont know why that was my first thought, I guess I was just being ignorant. Or maybe I was worried and thought that the Catholic school may think that I would impose my beliefs on their students.)
Essentially, teachers cannot go into any type of school setting and impose their beliefs on their students. So I guess I'm just kind of confused as to why the U.S Supreme Court would have a ruling specifically for parochial schools.
