Saturday, August 27, 2011

God and boys

The blessed month of Ramadan is almost coming to a close. Its so sad to see the days slipping away. I keep looking back and trying to figure out what I accomplished this month. I feel like I just let the month pass me by without taking advantage of it.

The whole purpose of the month was to become God conscious people. If we were to think of God frequently we'd constantly be able to put ourselves, our actions, and our behaviors in check. The minute we forget God we start to forget ourselves.

God says in a verse I absolutely love in the Qur'aan:

وَلَا              تَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ      نَسُوا   اللَّهَ      فَأَنسَاهُمْ أَنفُسَهُمْ ۚ
 أُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ   الْفَاسِقُونَ
And be not like those who forgot God, so He made them forget themselves. Those are the defiantly disobedient. [59:19]

Its such a beautiful thought to know that if you know God you'll know yourself. You'll know who you are, where you're from, where you're going, your purpose, etc. 

On another note...I've had something on my mind for a while now and I need to vent... so here it goes. 

Gender relations in Islam has always been a touchy subject. How do Muslims interact with the opposite gender? We know that we can't have pre-marital sex or anything else that leads up to that including dating as we know it today. Okay, what about having platonic relationships? There's different opinions on the topic. I personally went from having many guy friends, to not having any platonic relationships with them in college, to where I'm at now. I take the opinion that its fine to have friendships so long as both parties know their limits. We're all mature adults here and should know whats appropriate and not appropriate right? 

Apparently not. Since I've been married hubs and I have hung out with many different crews of people. And in terms of mixed gatherings (both genders hanging out) I've noticed such a huge difference between singles and married people. Sorry to all my single girls...I'm about to call people out. 

Older married couples that we've hung out with are so mature in their way of interacting with the opposite gender. Whenever we hang out with couples there's always interesting conversation and everyone is usually comfortable and like themselves. 

Lately though the gatherings I went to with a bunch of single friends ...maan let me tell you. People do NOT act like themselves. I've noticed this over the years and even in myself in the past. Put a guy in a room and girls will start acting differently. I remember once a guy friend of mine was with his other friend and they were acting normally. Then a girl walked by and he punched the other guy and starting joking louder. His friend called him out and said, "man, how you gon start acting all tough when a chick walks by." I was cracckinng up but its so true for so many people. 

Sometimes I see girls talking louder and acting all giddy and all I can think is "OMG SHUTTUP AND BE YOURSELF PLEASE!" I don't know if its because people are trying to get married or because people want attention especially if the person is attractive? Who knows. But to my all my ladies out there...please don't do that because its foolish and looks it.

Oh and another thing to vent about... to my single ladies...PLEASE do not mess around with immature boys who do not know how to man up. These little college guys and even older are running around acting like they're 17 trying to hook up with girls like they're game and then they pull the "I-really-do-want-to-get-married card." No homeboy, you just want some ass. And when these little boys hang out with you and tell you you're beautiful and what not TRUST ME they are talking about you with other guys. 

Best advice I ever got when I was single was from a male acquaintance of mine who said, "If a brother isn't man enough to go to your parents right now then he's a boy thats not worth your time." Hubs called up my dad barely a week after we started talking. Now thats a man. 

Okay I think my vent is done. Here were the key points:

1. Don't forget God, you'll forget your sense of self

2. Stop acting different when the opposite gender is present...just be yourself

3. Do not waste your time on little boys who need to man up ... they'll use you, talk about you, and leave you 

The end. I apologize if I offended anyone! I just need to get this off my chest. 


hijabi hippie hypo said...

This post made me laugh, but you're so right- it's cringeworthy to see single girls acting all giggly when guys come around.

Great advice :-)

PI said...

tell it chica

epic post :D


and may Allah bring Ramadan again quickly (but put baraka in our time also)

Constructive Attitude said...

Ameen to what PI said.

and wow, you just tell it like it is.


ok i have a confession though, a long long LONG time ago, i was one of those girls.

thank God I got out of that. Alhamdulilah.