Friday, March 18, 2011

In Pursuit of my Cousin

A few years ago my cousin, her cousin, my sister and I went to watch In Pursuit of Happyness.Wow that was a long time ago. Feels like yesterday. We had about an hour to kill before the movie started so we decided to get some ice cream. As we were stuffing out faces HE walked in. He was around my height {Indians in India are short}, wearing a red baseball cap covering half his face, a big blingy earring in his left ear, baby blue sweatshirt, baggy dark wash jeans, sneakers and, of course, a huge silver chain. I never thought I could so accurately remember his description, but I never thought I'd have acid thrown in my face until that moment, either.

Okay, we didn't have acid thrown in our faces but didn't you catch that episode of Oprah way back when??

We finished up our ice cream and still had about half an hour so we decided to explore the stores. As we were about to enter a clothing store we hear a guy calling out behind us, "Excuse me? Excuse me??" Normally I just ignore because it's never for me. But this guy was persistent. We finally turned around and {not to me, of course} to my cousin says, "Excuse me.....I think I'm in love with you."

Hmmthat'sniceyaykthanksbye. None of us said anything. We just walked into the store.

It's like this. In America, if a guy opens the door for you, you smile and say thank you. In India, if a guy opens a door for you, you shoot him a glare that implies that you're ready to slap him around with the bottom of your shoe. Things are different here and even simple eye contact usually ends up in one of the parties getting too excited...and the other being stalked.

As we were browsing along, minding our own business, I noticed the same guy standing outside. Waiting anxiously. Anyways, it's almost movie time so we're like whatever, just ignore him and he'll take the hint and leave. But he calls out to my cousin again while following us around the mall. And we ignore him again, this time ducking into another store. The shoe store has all glass walls and the guy is staring at us through the glass and following us around the store from the outside. It was REALLY CREEPY, guys. Following us from glass wall to glass wall. I don't think he came in because they'd call security or something for harrassing potential customers.

I don't know why it didn't occur to us to call security right then and there.

Movie time, thank God. The theaters are on another floor and you're not allowed up without a ticket. He didn't have a ticket. It was funny watching him from above on the escalator. He just stood there like a little sad puppy, watching us.

During intermission we go out for popcorn and other movie things. and *gasp* There he is. Watching. Waiting. He either bought a ticket or did something {read: bribed someone} to get up there. My cousin wasn't with us, so he came running up to us, pleading to speak to my cousin.

Again. Ignore.

You guys might think telling him off or simply nicely saying no, she's not interested would be enough. But this is the third world, India Edition, and like I said, being nice gets you in trouble. Eye contact gets you in trouble. Breathing at the wrong time will get you into trouble.

So the movie ends and this guy has been waiting for about two hours or so outside the theater. Again, he follows us around and we go to the parking lot. He stopped following us and we breathe a sigh of relief. I mean, what if he followed us home or something? Or what if he punctured our tires or did something in the dark empty parking lot?? WHO KNOWS HOW THIS GUY WOULD TURN OUT.

It's always the little ones. They're like evil little elves or something.

I'm little. Does that make me evil? *shiftty eyes*

So we're driving out of the parking lot and we all start screaming in horror because outside the exit there he was, waiting on his motorcycle. I figured he's stalked many women in his time or he had thought of everything possible in case he found "the one" for him.

At this point we really start to freak out thinking he'll follow us home and burn the house down or something. Oh, and I had images of acid being splashed on my face, of course. My cousin's cousin then tells the security guard to hold the guy for about five minutes. And that she'll report him if he doesn't stop him from following us. Oh Em Gee. The whole ride home we were freaking out whenever we saw a guy with a red cap on. But Alhamdulillah, we were able to get away from him.

If you've made it this far, you're probably thinking how dumb it was to freak out like that or anything. I would, too, but after living here I've learned that things are handled much differently here. And I treat guys differently here than I do in when I'm in America. I'm still laughing about how he strategically parked his bike right outside the exit so he could easily follow us out.


Mi Amor Mi Iman said...

Lmao! haha this cracked me up, it's like men from all third world countries are like that!

(Btw this is Lifes Balance Beam, I changed my blog URL to my old URL is someone elses now so you have to unfollow him and refollow me lol sorry!)

Facta Non Verba said...

This is so dangerous. It's really scary cuz my sis is out there in India right now - for school.
You know i can't seem to understand why young men( specially FOBS) feel the need to jump several steps in the relationship/communication game to the "I love you" phase. Theres got to be research for this - i've meet so many muslim women who've had this very in counter - where a sketchy guy they barely know professes undying love for them. Get a grip folks this ain't hollywood..

i think to be serious though i blame our over sexualized cultures - and the movie industry which sends these packaged story lines about one lines that melts a woman's heart. Was there ever a woman who was wooed by a one liner? I mean even Shakespeare needed 14 lines to undress anyone.

Then you've got all these sexualized/segregated communities where individuals have no way of learning how to appropriately interact with woman and WAllaa you have recipe for disaster like this one. Glad you got away safe and have a fun story to tell - but please be safe - and avoid the creeps!!

Artistic Logic said...

girl this is what u was writin about on your BS day? hahahaha
ur funny

Falling Up said...

I agree, Non Facta Verba, it's pretty dangerous. I went there for school, too, and it's a scary place. I did walk around with a hate hate everyone face and boys left me alone thank God.

Some people blame Islam, but this happened in a nonMuslim country so I have no idea where its coming from. Culture, perhaps. I feel like if people are forced into doing something, when given the freedom, they will generally take a 180 degree turn in the opposite direction.

Constructive Attitude said...

they're like litte evil elves? hahahahha