Monday, July 13, 2009

All of the Above

You know those people that love and adore animals?

Well, I'm not one of them.

I don't despise them or anything like that. And I'm not some animal hater.

I'm just scared of them and I really don't have the best time with them. (Yes, I know. I seem to be scared of everything. Sometimes I feel like I'm the crazy aunt from A Series of Unfortunate Events that wouldn't leave her house because she was terrified of the world. Or something of that nature.)

One of the first things we did when we got to New York was go to the Bronx zoo. I was not amused. I wanted to leave before we even parked the car. Everyone else was fascinated with a camel that just stood there and pooped.

Was I missing something?

And when walking to middle school everyday, stray dogs got a real kick out of chasing my sister,Chuckle, and me. One day while being pursued by one, my sister made a prayer to God, begging for the dog to get hit by a car (My sister is not cruel, she was just terrified and the pit bull would not relent).

Her prayer was answered. Subhan'Allah.

Today when the elevator door opened, and two of my friends tried to get on, a blind man with his guide dog, the size of a bear, walked out. Mrs. Cullen, who is also afraid of dogs , pushed me in front of it, thinking that if it attacked, I should be the one that gets attacked first.


My uncle used to have this white cat. Name was Tiny. Supposedly if you put your legs up when she was around, she wouldn't bother you. I tried that all the time. It was a fail. She still came by me and brushed up against me.

Mrs. Cullen's sister, who lives in NYC, has a cat. Her names Anya. CC became BFF with her during our trip. She's a cute cat. If you like cats. She jumped on the bed while I was trying to sleep though. I tried to suck it up the first time she did it and not let it bother me.

But I just couldnt.

When she jumped on the bed the second time, I freaked out, jumped out of the bed, went into the living room and told Mrs. Cullen that I would sleep in the bathroom if I had to. Mrs. Cullen called me a drama queen and locked Anya out of the room. Score 1 for me. (Even though, I'm sure CC and Mrs. Cullen would have preferred the cat over me)

We pet sat for my uncle once. Either that or they let us have the bird. The bird chirped all night. My mom felt sorry for it, and let it loose. I thought we were doing it a favor, until everyone said that it was probably one of those birds that wasn't used to the "wild". Whoops.

My sister had guppies. We didnt know what to feed it. So we fed it rice. Poor guppies didnt survive a day at our house.

And when I was in high school, there was this stray cat that would return to our backyard because my mom fed it consistently. I was convinced that it was a reincarnated version of this one guy that had a crush on me. It used to just stare at me and follow my every move. Creepy.

I'm not a freak. I promise.

Basically the only animal I've ever been fond of and kind of adore is CC's cat. She's a cutie. Masha'Allah.

And the only reason that is, is because her cat doesn't like people and stays as far away from them as possible.

P.S. Something irrelevant I'd like to share: I'm currently obsessed with this song, All of the above. My sister, Mynah, is annoyed because apparently, I "play out" songs that she likes. Whatevs.


AD said...

:) sometimes even the mindless of rants is the most effective of rants.
i felt ur words.

and no way am i gonna say it just passed me... it seeped deep down :)

Anonymous said...

Awww....sorry about your not liking animals that much...

I'm the type of person you were talking about when you were talking about people who love animals. I'm not that bad friend is worse :)


the girl in stiletto said...

but hey, i love a series of unfortunate events. i cried so hard when their parents died.

Mrs. Cullen said...

sigh thanks for telling everyone about my cowardliness!

EmptyWords said...

its okay... im scared of animals too but then i fight for their rights... hypocrite? i dont know... i just cant believe you fed guppies rice! im trying to get over that...

Artistic Logic said...

i b singin this song today

calixta.jive. said...

i can't stop listening to this song either!!!

fuelMybrain said...

This was a very funny post, and no offense, but the ZOO would be the last place I'd wanna visit on vacation. I mean, they've got zoos everywhere! And I love animals.

'bout pee'd my pants when I read the rice-fish thing. Ha ha ha too funny.

You are the equivalent to animals as a gardener with a black thumb.