Saturday, November 22, 2008

Twilight (Eeeek!)


...Ok you can stop squealing.

I'm wondering if I'm digging my own grave by writing about Twilight. Any of you who are even slightly knowledgeable about this blog, know that there is at least one Edward Cullen fanatic (his self-proclaimed wife) present as an author on this blog.

(Note, I said at least, both Mrs. Cullen and S.M. will try to shove me into the grave)

Honestly, this whole Twilight/'I'll die for Eddy..sigh' hype is way too overplayed. Heck, I've read the books too. I'll even admit it. After reading the first one, even I was charmed in by the thing called Edward. But a little more than a week later, the effects wore off, and gratefully I came to my senses. But I still read the next one, and I think maybe even the 3rd ( I was hoping the story would take off at some point)

Then, I stopped. I couldn't take it anymore !!!
They're IDIOTS( I mean the main characters). And the author needs to improve her writing. And oh yeah, all the other problems going on in the world, such as the war, the economy, disease, people dying, none of that even TOUCHES the main characters. Nor that it should because their world has only each other.

For all of you living in your nice, comfy caves- Should I explain the story to you?

There's this girl Bella, she starts out normal and fine, just a regular teenage girl who has a little more common sense and a better sense of responsibility than the average teenage girl. She moves to a new town (of course she moves to a new, never been heard of, small town)

There she meets this really pale guy, Edward (and of course this guy is mysterious at this never been heard off before, small town)

He turns out to be a vampire. (WELL's a never been heard of before, small town! Where else would he be?)And he has these superhuman powers and could easily kill her and everyone (The Lion and the lamb...just like the poster says? Get it?)

And they fall in love. I mean yeah ok, it wasn't that simple. There's this whole, he's a vampire but he doesn't drink the blood of humans, but he can't control himself around her thing. Oh yeah, and she's not scared of him and doesn't care. But he loves her too much and doesn't want him around her because she might get hurt (every idiot squeals) and then he decides he can handle it because he can't stand not being around her (everyone squeals again).

Oh and did I mention that about 99% of their thoughts and life revolve around the other. It was after the effects of the book wore off that I realized, that the two main character HAD NO PERSONALITIES!!

It was basically "Oh Bella", "Oh Edward", "Bella", "Edward", "Bella, you should be scared of me", "Edward, I'm not afraid", "Bella", "Edward, "Oh yeah, everybody and everything else", "Bella", "Edward","Oh Bella", "Oh Edward" "I love you", "I can't live without you"...etc Do you feel like puking yet??

Do you understand what I mean by no personalities? I even asked a friend yesterday to describe his personality... and this is what I got:

Loyal (The word Bella-obsessive would be more accurate, but whatever)


And that's it. That's all she could think of (she came up with boring and stupid after two whole minutes). Yes I'm sure you're throwing all these words at me, "HEY you jerk! He's charming, and romantic, and nice,and handsome, and so courageous, and so gorgeous, and loving..."

But seriously, two of those don't even count as being part of his personality. And the others go under Bella-obsessive, and nice? (EVERYONE'S NICE-or can be-it's not much)

So there you go. Basically when the movie came to theaters this past weekend every teeny-bopper girl and the rest, had to go to drool over this guy------>

And I read on someone's blog, (who also went to see the movie) that little girls were there dressed as brides.


Brides of...well it has to be this guy--->

But seriously...what?

Did they take a look at THIS GUY---------------------------->

My friends had it all planned to go to watch this movie together. But it didn't work out and so they're gonna try it again next week. I think I'll go along, and take a rolling pin, a spatula and some grease with me.

That way I can whack any one of them who get any marriage ideas. And scrape off any of them who attach themselves to the screen.

On a side note, it seems a lot of you disagree with the person playing Edward Cullen. Some of you have even admitted that the guy you want doesn't exist. But still I want to know. Who do you think should play Edward?

Here are some of the answers I've gotten, that according to people would be the closest thing.

Gaspard Ulliel

Prison Break guy

Tom Sturridge

Smallville guy

The guy


Constructive Attitude said...

Let me guess, S.M. said Tom Welling?

I dont think so.

Chad Michael Murray should be added to the list. I mean he looks nothing like how they describe Edward Cullen. But he looks a hell of a lot better than the guy thats playing Cullen..

and the other word i said beside loyal to describe his personality was boring. Isnt that a personality trait?

*shrugs shoulders*

Ive realized that I hate Bella more than I hate Cullen. But they are both equally annoying.

Constructive Attitude said...

And "Prison Break" guys name is Wentworth Miller.

Sheesh. Get it right.

Mrs. Cullen said...

All your ideas of Edward are a bad idea. I think he played it well. Well he played the looks part well, not the acting. But its ok. I fell in love with Edward Cullen from the book, not the movie.

Anyways, I agree the author is an IDIOT. I hate her. She doesn't know how to write at all. The only thing i like is Edward and how he is so charming. Anyways, yeah. In an interview she said that when she was writing the book she had a movie in vision and thats how she wrote. SERIOUSLY WHAT AN IDIOT. You don't do that. I HATE that people compare her to JK Rowling. How dare they!? JK is an amazing author, who wrote AMAZING books for all ages to read. I hate when people call the HP books "children's books." That makes me SO MAD.

HP is much more real because [other than the wizard stuff] the characters have real problems. Its all real. The guys are idiots and are not charming. Thats real. Parents are annoying. Thats real. Some teachers rock and others suck. Thats real. The government is corrupt. Thats real times a million.

I should seriously change my name to Mrs. Potter
Ok bye for now

Mrs. Cullen said...

And who the heck names their son Wentworth. Sigh. Poor prison break guy. I hear hes gay, fyi!

*mary* said...

*Blogging from a cave, somewhere in Smalltown, America... A town so small that it is probably crawling with teenage vampires and I just haven't noticed.*
Haha, I love this post. Thanks for the synopsis of the film. All I knew was that it involved a vampire. Now I know that it is about a vampire who has absolutely NO personality! ;)
Hey, I tried to add this blog to "blogs I follow" and it says you don't have an RSS feed. You may want to go to or someplace and set one up so people can subscribe to your blog!

Anonymous said...

C.A, FOR YOUR INFORMATION I DID NOT MENTION TOM WELLING aka SMALLVILLE GUY! He could never ever fulfill the Edward I have envisioned. And Tom Sturridge KINDA could pass as a potential Edward...only from that angle.

BUT I LOVED THIS POST! I really laughed out loud. And please, Edward SOO has a personality. So what if he's obsessed with Bella? Some people like obsession ok! Stop judging him!

You know you secretly wish he were real and he were Muslim so you could marry him!

Falling Up said...


FOR ONCE you don't like a book. This has to mean something.
This is huuuge

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Artistic Logic said...

just wait till bollywood does a remake, desi style...
im probably the only one here who has never touched the twilight books or even knows half of what its about...thanks for the insight lol

oh and u forgot to add ashton kutcher...i think he'd be a good

provoking invoking said...

no, AL.. I have also never touched a twilight book. high five!

and yes, HILARIOUS!! CC.. you need to write more movie reviews! speaking of which, this is great: some muslim friends that have started a movie review blog drawing from Islamic insight.

i am totally living in a cave.

Snake Charmer said...

um..the movie sucked. the end. ooh the kiss at the end gave me chills though..i do remember supreem telling me wipe the smirk off my face ;)

controlled chaos said...

snake charmer that's so funny!

fuelMybrain said...

My high school heart throb was Keanu Reeves, and although he played a vampire long ago, I'd sure love to see his hot ass on the screen again. Mmmmm.

...Love said...


Ok you caught me I'm a Twilight fanatic myself but, after the disaster of a movie that is Twilight I too came to my senses. The movie makes you want to throw children.

I wrote a review myself. I would see it again, no lies. Just for all the wrong reasons. :)

...Love said...

The Cullen's seem all to eager to accept Bella as 'family' despite the fact that they have known her all of a week. In fact they are all willing to risk each other their lives and everything they've built within Forks to protect her. Uh, seriously? Way to be expedient with your trust and affections, folks.It's just unrealistic.


The best part of Twilight had to be the height and texture of Robert Pattinson's hair.

...Love said...

P.P.S. i'm secretly in love with R. Pattz but, totally vote for Prison break guy. Yes, that's his real name.