Saturday, March 28, 2009

Food, Family, and Flak

My mom does this thing every so often, where she invites people over our house for lunch and/or dinner.

And when she does it, it's not just a couple of people. It's a couple of FAMILIES. With five or six people to EACH family.

If I can, I will avoid these gatherings. Be it "I have school", "I have work", "I'm going over my friends house", "I have a HUGE exam coming up", I'll find an excuse to get out of being there.

I don't mind helping out beforehand, but I hate being there when the guests arrive.

So my mom chose TODAY to do that.

And I had no idea.

And no one informed me.

I mean I should've known that this was going to happen. The incessant smell of curry looming into my room and up my nose and the heat stroke that I got every time I walked into the kitchen were obvious clues to this.

But I brushed these apparent signs off, because I was too tired to be bothered.

So this morning I woke up and she told me.

And I had no excuse to give her and had no choice but to help out before, during, and after the get together.

It was so NOT fun.

The before part is cleaning. That's easy as pie.

And the after part is cleaning. That's annoying as heck, but tolerable.

The during part is where I have the hardest time. I have to be a good hostess and mingle with everyone. Make them feel at home. Kiss their butts. Be at their beckon and call. Converse with them about anything and everything. Make sure stupid snotty little kids dont go in my room and touch all of my stuff. And ensure that our guests leave our house with thoughts that our family are wonderful hostesses.

I also have to deal with criticism about anything and everything.

For some odd reason, people like to make all kinds of comments when they come over our house. I don't know if others have this same problem, but I have yet to see it happen to anyone else.

Here's some I've gotten:
  • You should have set the table like this. Bite me.
  • You're washing the dishes wrong. Ummm how exactly do you wash dishes wrong?It's not like I'm using my tongue and licking away the grime and then using it to serve another guest. I'm using soap AND water, buddy. And last time I checked that was the key to getting sparkling dishes.
  • Why do you all live here (referring to the urban city we reside in and it being "ghetto") ? I'm sorry, but didnt YOU just come from a third world country YESTERDAY where you had no indoor plumbing.
  • That's not how you make tea. Well if you're so freaking good at it, YOU make it.
  • How can you live next to those people that play that horrible music. We have Mexican neighbors who hire LIVE Mariachi bands to come and play at parties that they have. I think they are awesome and it's hilarious to see Desi peoples reaction to this.
  • Do this like that or do that like this. Listen you, I'll do THIS like THIS and THAT like THAT.
  • Did you help cook any of this? No, but I help eat it.

Next time I'll just join the Mariachi band instead.


P.S. My sister, Muth, was the one that got to get away from this get together today. Lucky bastard.

12 comments:

Mrs. Cullen said...

you are lucky, when we have these parties we invite over 150 people and my house is chaotic. sigh.

PerplxinTexan♥ said...

I told you!

yet, everyone laughed at my post about the community picnic.

But, now that it's happened to you...

hilarious.

P.S.My brother told me I turned the lights off wrong, I think that beats washing the dishes wrong.

Constructive Attitude said...

Yo perplex: I'm loving your new layout EXCEPT for the fact that I cant comment on ANYTHING. not even an old post. NOT EVEN ABOUT POTATOES. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE POTATOES :) :) :)

and i heart you for loving them.
and i forgot about ur post on the fam get together. but dude, urs was probably outside, where you used disposable silverware. whereas i had to wash a bajillion silverwre. so nope, you dont win.

Cheryl said...

I haven't read this post yet, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I WOULD NEVER FORGET ABOUT YOU OR CC OR ANY ONE OF YOU. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

I just stopped writing back because apparently, no one reads 'em. :(

You crazy gal. Celebrity blogging will never get to my head. YOU MUST BE INSANE.

I love you.

I swear I'm working on the sexy blog. I'm having so much trouble. I'm just not sexy. At all.

Unless the definition of sexy means "awkward and weird looking"

Real post-related comment to come soon.

Cheryl said...

um have you ever gotten, "when are you going to get married?", "would you like me to set you up with some of the guys i know?" ..

I get those ALL THE FRIGGN TIME.

Couldn't get any worst.

Artistic Logic said...

so whats flak?

didn't get that

and doooood i hate that i clean n clean n clean before guests come over only to watch the house fall apart in the first five minutes of their arrival...whats UP with that????
so annoying... and for like 3 days before the get together my eyes burn n i smell like onions cause of all the cooking lol but the week after is blissful eating yummy leftovers...
and i hope you really did answer their idiotic comments the way u wrote ...

mary evelyn said...

i agree, the mariachi band sounds like much more fun.

supreem said...

i know exactly what you mean.. I'll help my mom out... but i always like sit for 10-20 minutes and then bounce... and you know... being a grad student always helps... cuz you always have some unfinished project that you need to work for... and i'm like... don't you want me to be successful mom *sniffles*.. and then all her friends are like 'oooohh mashaAllah!!! so hard working! you must be proud' and i like retreat.

MarjnHomer said...

hahaha...

You didnt have a chance to get away. I was shocked you were there too...and who the hell made that you live here comment.

MarjnHomer said...

and whats flak?

Constructive Attitude said...

Flak= criticism

fuelMybrain said...

Here's the silver lining = you are completely ready to enter the world of having inlaws!!! Hahahaha, good luck, it gets much worse when it's your mother in law saying this crap and your husband just stands there like a retard! LOL.

They finally figured out that I won't go to ANYTHING anymore and I have tons of excuses... so they tricked me this last time and lured me out with a bribe of a nice dinner out and failed to mention my most hated SIL would be there, AAAAHHHHH. Damn the inlaws!!!