Friday, April 10, 2009

Friday at the store

You know how last time I told you guys about the 70 excuses thing?

That in Islam you're taught to give people 70 excuses for their behavior or actions or whatever to deter you from thinking badly or wrongly of a person. Well anywho, I'm glad I did that post.
Just because of that post, and your guys' comments, I've been doing it more and more often.
Yay us!

For example the other day, this person was driving like 20 miles per hour or something on the freeway. And as usual I'm road raging " ARGH" . Then all of a sudden I stopped and remembered the post and the 20 excuses thing, and I was like, 1. He's probably a new driver. Just like how I was once upon a time. AND I immediately felt bad, and stopped raging at him.

Poor guy. Now I just feel bad for him.

Well, today I was at the mall, working at our family store. The store is usually dead, and I like keeping it that way. The thing is, I don't really ever remember the prices for stuff, and I'm usually too lazy to actually do any selling so I prefer if customers don't come in, pretend to be interested, ask for prices, make me move around and then leave.

So there I was sitting in the store, and this guy comes in. He looks around for like a good 20 minutes. He comes up to me,
"Do you have any Lion paintings?"
"I know we did. But I don't think we have anymore"
"You're telling me you don't have Mufasa?"

Ummm what the heck

"Haha yeah. I mean did you look through the paintings?"
"No, I'm too scared to touch them"

I walk over and start flipping through the velvet paintings.

"I don't see any lion paintings. Man I love lions!"
"Hmm you're right. I guess we don't have them anymore"
"HOW could you people not have MUFASA? I mean COME ON. It's MUFASA!"

Maybe it's cuz he doesn't exist!

"I'm sorry. We don't have anymore Lion paintings"
I walked back over to behind the counter. And the dude keeps going on about Mufasa.

Eventually I tell him, I can try and call and find out. I talk to my dad, he says we don't have any left and can't do special orders right now.

I tell that to the guy and he says the store needs to shut down.
...I would have taken that offensively if he didn't seem to light-hearted.

He looks at me, "Are you a Leo? I'm a Leo. You would know what I felt like if you were a Leo."
"Sorry no I'm a capricorn"
Then he tells me about what his mom and sister are
Then he stops," What track was that? What CD was it? Can I buy it?"
I go in the back and check, and tell him, that he can buy it.
"Play it again for me. I'm really upset there's no Mufasa"
Really. I'm about to kill myself. But I'm starting to get suspicious so I walk over and casually put my laptop under the chair.
I come back

"You on facebook on your laptop?"
"Um. No I don't do facebook"
"Haha She don't do facebook."

WHO are you talking to?

"What do you do?"

Why do you care?

" Twitter"
"Haha. What's twitter?"
I don't get what's so funny but I tell him about twitter in the shortest way possible.

"Hmm well I have a (insert weird japanese sounding word. Boko or something) space"
"Um what's a (insert weird japanese sounding word. Boko or something) space?"
"It's like a scandalous facebook"

Oohhkayyy. This guy needs to leave.

"Like you can't be married or have a girl friend. And be on Boko (?) space. It would be like cheating"

Ok I don't like where this is going.

"You know what I'm saying. Hahaha"
No, I really don't and nor do I want to.

But the dude doesn't get that. He goes on to tell me about how, the girls on there are crazy, and about how the guys on there (according to the girls on there, cuz he doesn't know himself) are CRAZY. The girls are super aggressive, then he said something about booty-calling, and guys being blow joe's and I don't even know. But I felt as though he was trying to censor himself while he was talking, because when he was describing the people (because I asked him to) he kept on pausing and seemed to be searching for a cleaner word.

Then he starts talking about his facebook, and how he's a lot more cleaner on it, and would never cuss on facebook, but if his sister ever sees his boko (?) page he would immediately delete it. Then randomly in between he would ask for the prices on things.

This other guy comes in and starts wandering around. I'm keeping an eye on the other guy, and the dude I'm talking to starts pointing and asking for prices on things behind me. I respond, making up prices, while watching my customers. (All of a sudden all my mom's experiences with when things would get stolen from our former leather store start haunting me. Where one guy would distract and the other guy would grab the stuff.) Still, I'm refusing to think anything then to be cautious. So I try doing 70 excuses.

1. He's one of those people that talk non-stop
2. He loves Mufasa and might die without him
3. He wants to make friends wherever he goes
4. He thinks I'm interesting (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Eventually after a long time the second guy leaves, and I chastise myself for becoming suspicious in the first place.

The dude however, makes himself comfortable, leaning against the counter, telling me about boko(?) space and Mufasa and God knows what else.

Eventually another lady comes in, and needs help with the t-shirts. I go over, and the dude goes over to the pictures and starts looking through them. The lady wants me to find her a XXL. We find a XXXL. She decides to buy it. I turn around and the dude is gone. Just like that. He was gone.

After the lady left, I couldn't help but keep looking over the pictures. I wondered if one or two might be missing. Even though I kept telling myself I was being disgusting, I couldn't help and wonder. I never ended up checking as a punishment for even wondering if he took a painting. He was a nice guy, weird and way too friendly, but nice.

And we get all kinds of people at our store.

Interesting customer 2 was this guy that I didn't even notice was standing in front of me. I freaked out. He had an accent, hispanic maybe. Five seconds of looking at him, and I realized he was really good looking. He could have been Native American. I don't know if he was hispanic or not but he was good looking. I haven't seen a good looking guy like him in real life before. He left really fast. I think the prices scared him away.

Interesting customer 3, was this Asian guy. Right before he left, almost like an added thought he says, "Your hijab is very pretty". I'm somewhat thrown off that he knows the word, which I think was part of the reason why he said it, but I just respond my saying, "Oh. Thank you". Maybe I should I given him oohs and ah's for knowing that we use the word hijab (Hee- Jab) to describe our scarf. But I was too lazy. I felt bad for not encouraging him though.

P.S. I know my posts are long. I'm working on trying to fix that. .....somehow......


The Demigoddess said...

Oh, there are so many networking sites that are supposed to be "social networking" ones but really used for booty call.

Falling Up said...

How weird. Well don't hate yourself for being suspicous, I mean, when you're not, bad thigns happen and people shoplift, right?
And I'm going to be your customer one day and annoy the crap outta you. He seems really odd. Mufasa is my hero. He made Simba realize who he was, duh. How can you not love him? ANNND RAFIKI MY BOYYYY

Constructive Attitude said...

haha. so i saw the "view my profile on facebook" thingy, and im like "she wouldn't!!?!?! would she?!"

andddd did the guy buy the C.D. at least?!


fuelMybrain said...

I agree with Falling Up, as soon as your guard goes down something will get stolen. Unfortunately we aren't in the 50s anymore.

So, cool story, kept me laughing and on the edge of my seat.

FutureGirl said...

Whenever someone cuts me up on the road, or drives past me like a maniac: my favorite way of keeping calm is to imagine that person is rushing for a bathroom, after taking a laxative. My anger turns to humor really fast after that! :0)

Artistic Logic said...

your long posts are fine cause they're readable.... the ones that get all boring are the torturous ones which you haven't done yet...

anyways that was a creepy experience... from what i read...
i would have been creeped out

provoking invoking said...

i would also have been creeeped out; also i had no knowledge of this store before. wth how weird! i learned something about you, somehow i feel ashamed

supreem said...

this is hilarious!!!

Mrs. Cullen said...


mary evelyn said...

yeah, your post are long, but they're funny and entertaining. i wouldn't want you to cut any of the details :o)

p.s. i can't decide if i like those friendly, talkative people. i guess it depends on what mood i'm in.

p.p.s. i think i should try your 70 excuses technique. i get frustrated at people easily.

controlled chaos said...

Mary E. -your too kind...but please do go on.

FMB-i'll try and keep your and F.U.'s (HAHAAHAHA FU!) comment in mind

Future Girl- did you know several prescriptions have explosive diarrhea as a symptom?

PerplxinTexan♥ said...

Long post but worth it to describe the creepos.

So got a mufasa?

Non-FBers unite :)

P.S. Capricorns are my perfect match, not that I'm gonna marry you but, if you know some delightful, attractive, Muslim (ACTUAL Muslim) men rolling around please refer Capricorn applicants to me.