Confused Thoughts

peace.love.faith, originally uploaded by Rabujee.

Over the past weeks, I (along with millions of others humane enough to be bothered by the news) have been dismayed by the constant Israeli torment and barrage of bombs over Gaza. As part of a blog written by young American Muslim girls, you may have wondered about our silence on the issue. Is it because we aren't concerned or passionate? Is it because we are afraid? What could be the reason as to why this group of young Muslim females have had no words to say or are seemingly "avoiding" what everyone else is talking about?

Its not that I can sit here and define the exact reasons or say what each of the contributors on this blog feels; I can only speak for myself and represent my views. Its not that we're not hurting inside, its not that we're turning the other cheek, its not even that we're afraid to speak up...its just that there is no justice our words can do for the situation. There is no way we can quantify the pain and suffering felt by Gazan's, and equally there is no way to quantify the pain we feel when we see their blood-stained streets, the choked cries and sobs of a mother who lost not one, not two, but five of her precious daughters in a single moment... and just like her thousands of mothers whose eyes are barren, devoid of tears because they've all been shed. There are images of tiny bodies, unrecognizable...watching them we're too fearful if we look hard enough we may connect it to a human face, a frozen expression, yet we can't look away.

Human loss is undoubtedly the largest cause of unspeakable pain and torture. But we can't forget there is other kinds of loss, that slowly degrades the remaining survivors...seeing their communities turning to dust and rubble day by day.

Places of advancement, schools and universities, destroyed in a matter of minutes; Places of serenity and worship, mosques, blown to bits ruthlessly. Are these the places in which so called "terror" is found?

NO these are the very institutions that build generations, bring people out of despair, that aid them in difficult times, that give them a rope to pull themselves out of oppression. Mosques, where the faithful retreat tirelessly asking God for his mercy and help, asking for strength, trying to surround themselves with images of tranquility for a change...even if its just for a few hours. Take away these buildings and force residents to cower in their dark, cold homes...feed horror into their minds, and you're slowly decomposing their soul.

These are a people who have been born into war, who have known nothing but blood-shed and agony, and seeing them suffer constantly while the world watches....its all weighing heavily on our hearts. How can we express that?

How do you express what it feels like to not be able to help, to have little to no control over the events? How do you tell what it feels like to watch as the lifelines of an entire population are cut slowly. No aid can reach them; electricity, clean water, even proper medical facilities are not available to them and haven't been for months! The recent events aren't the start, this is just when the world's attention was brought to the matter. These people have been suffering for decades, and LITERALLY have had walls closing in on them for quite some time.

How can OUR words do justice to unnecessary torment? Ours definitely can't but words of a Gazan, can...I'm leaving with this excerpt from a Palestinian resident writing for
Palestine Monitor . I honestly can't add anymore to this.

"Dear Friends,

I am writing you with a delay today due to the lack of electricity.

I want to cry, Dr. Nizar Rayan, professor at the Islamic University was killed, bombed with his entire family inside of his house. He was a brave man, who refused to leave his home despite all the Israeli treats. His principle was to resist and stand up in dignity, or to die. His house was bombed by 4 rockets. His 3 wives and 8 from his children and grandchildren were killed… Some of his neighbours were killed too, and many injured.

Today, the bombings haven’t stopped yet. On the contrary, it continues heavily. The night was terrible and we couldn’t fall asleep because of the bombings and the cold.

The strikes of last night and this morning destroyed the Parliament of Gaza that has just been recently built. Two Ministries –among which the Ministry of Education, a school, a hospital and a clinic, a cheese and yoghurt factory were destroyed too. Along with 3 money exchang. It may not seem important but for almost 5 months, the Palestinians from Gaza have been paid in dollars and not in shekels anymore. And now, the money exchange offices are bombed!

On the morning of the 6th day of massacre, there are 412 martyrs of which 90 haven’t been identified yet. Among the 322 martyrs known, 38 children have been killed. There are some 2,000 injured of which 261 children. Those children, are they criminals? Are they terrorists?

There is not places enough to care the injured in the hospitals of Gaza, and many of them will be disabled for the rest of their lives.

On this 5th day of war, the lack of bread and food is still lasting… so are the power cuts.

Some sites have been bombed several times. It seems bizarre. Someone explained me that the Israelis are bombing the same site on several occasions, even if the site has been destroyed already; so that Uranium will remains, causing long-lasting health troubles!"

Salma Ahmed, 23 years-old French teacher Gaza French Cultural Center