Friday, September 19, 2008

Mrs. Cullen: The Victim

Dear Friends,

I am sure we have all been a victim many times [ex: car accident, love, mugging, etc] but this week I was a victim to the most terriblest thing ever. Please don't read ahead if you are pregnant, nursing, or have a history of heart disease. The following is not for the faint hearted. Well I warned you! Here goes nothing! Wait, CC: why are you still reading?? [You're soo annoying]. Anyways. I have a cat. She is the cutest cat in the world. Shes all black like Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch =) I love her. But she is obsessed with my parents. Which is so not fair because shes mine mine mine and I was the only one who cared for her when she was a kitten. Whatever. I got over that a year ago. Anyways. Every night she sleeps in my parents room. The only time she would ever enter my room is if I would force her in there. And even then she runs under my bed and doesn't come out. Whatever. Shes so annoying. Anyways. As you all know its Ramadan so we wake up early before sunrise to eat before a long day [or not so long day in the winter] of fasting. A few days ago C**** [oh yeah thats the name of my cat. I was trying to put that off as much as I could. I'm quite embarrassed of that name now. Sigh] kept coming in my room all night. She would not let me sleep. She started ripping a plastic bag I had lying on the floor. After that was demolished, she began ripping my papers. I had some papers lying under my window. Oh yeah. I have a window in my room!!!! Hehe I know everyone does. Mine is actually not so cool because since my room is above the garage, I can see the driveway if I look out of my window. I mean whatever thats fine but its just annoying because garage rooms [yeah I just made that up get over it] are always soo cold.

Ok. So when I woke up for Sahur [thats what we call the meal we eat before the fast begins at dawn] the first thing I said to my mom was, "C**** was in my room all night. She wouldn't let me sleep." Then my brother said, "Yeah she kept coming in my room too." But I was like whatever, most of the time she was in my room. [Everything is competition for me.] After we ate my dad went to the mosque to pray Fajr [the first of our five daily prayers]. As soon as he opened the garage [one of the benefits of living in the garage room is that you hear and sorta feel when it opens] he yelled our names. So we went outside and there was glass everywhere! Someone had broken into my dads car by completely smashing the driver's side window. There was glass on the drive way and glass on the seat. We quickly looked inside and realized nothing was missing. Of course I also went to look at my car which was right next to his. [My daddy bought me a new car three weeks ago so of course I was scared.] But alhumdulillah it was perfectly fine=) Not even a scratch. Of course blah blah blah my daddy went to the police station after prayer and reported the crime. There he was told that this has happened 11 times already in OUR neighborhood and it is someone from OUR neighborhood. Ahh. Ok you don't know where I live so you won't understand.

When I told my sister what happened [she lives in New York] she asked, "Did it happen in Detroit." But no people! It did not. I lived in Detroit for a year and I had a car that was parked in a parking lot but nothing like this ever happened to me! This happened in ******, MI. ****** was once known to be a very very safe area-- one of the safest. But after those two psycho high school boys beheaded a truck driver I guess kids are going wild or something. And on top of that, I live in a really nice subdivision. Everyone here is pretty well off. So, I dunno what someone would want to do that for. Anyways, it turns out my dad's navigation system thingy was stolen. We didn't realize it until the cops asked us if we had one. Since Allstate will pay for the damage of the car the only problem this caused was just an inconvenience for my parents. My daddy had to drive my mom's car to work and so my mommy had to miss her Qur'an class for the day. No big deal I guess. At least no one was hurt. EXCEPT FOR ME. I was hurt here [points to head] and here [points to heart].

Why would I not be?! Poor me, garage girl. Poor me, the victim of everything. Love, school and now psycho navigation system robbery. What if my window was open and the psycho decided to bring a ladder and climb into my room. Of course I was worried after that. For the next two days I just slept with my grandparents in the basement and of course we parked three of the cars in the garage. My brother had to leave his car outside with the psycho thief. Ok, lastly I just want to add that I have mad respect for my cat who was just freaking out all night. I can't believe I didn't hear the psycho right outside of my garage room. But C**** did. And she tried to wake me up. But I did not. The lesson of the story is. Listen to your cat.

Yours for the sake of Peace, Sisterhood and the Prevention of Animal Cruelty,
Mrs. Cullen

PS: Thats Allstate's Stand. Are you in good hands??


Constructive Attitude said...

hahahahahahaha. Finally!

eharoon21 said...

"dad's navigation system thingy" it's called a "GPS System"
and it is all about competition for you.
oh and btw, ******, MI used to be the 14th safest city in the United States.

..and i'm still not understanding how you were hurt? What if they came to my room? My car was parked up front with the side door unlocked--so I was up all night in my room worrying about my poor green machine.

Falling Up said...

My bird hates me, too. He follows my sister around, who avoids him like the plague. WHY CAN'T THEY LOVE US!?

Loved this post. so funny {but I am sorry about your car}. And the animals..they know...

Anonymous said...

At least Crazy is ok, Alhamdulillah.

controlled chaos said...

i am not annoying. you're annoying
and cats are awesome!