My life is just WE ird

Hello there. I'm changing up the my family is WE ird segment today.

So you all know by now that my family is weird. And maybe even figured out that I'm weird. Which would ( or at least should) lead you to conclude that my life is just weird.

Excuse me. I mean WE-ird.
It's a whole different way of saying it. Trust me.

Anyways I have a life update for you:

My hands have been hurting. Which you already know. But you didn't know that they have STILL been hurting. Meh. It comes and goes, but you also didn't know that my friends think I'm imagining my pain and over-dramatizing it so BASICALLY, I need to get new friends. I'm very serious, I even called one friend (one among the few that care about me) and told her that we need some new friends (I'm not replacing all of them of course) , and I discussed with her people that could be potentially replace some of these other so called "FRIENDS" of mine.

Then each person I brought up that we could become friends with was eliminated for various reasons. Which brought us back to being stuck with the friends that I currently have.
But then I thought about the bright side.

Who needs friends that don't care about you when you have a cat.

I love my cat.

Wanna know how much I love my cat? I'm talking on the phone with a friend...like a real serious topic:

Me: Yeah, so just pray like crazy. I mean you've done everything you can do at this point and now it's time to just trust in God. You know?
Person: Yea. I know. But it's so hard sometimes and I

Me: HI BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!
Person: ..hi?
Me: I misshed you shooo much. You're sho bheautiful. Yesh you ar. Yesh you ar. Oh myy good you're da mosht beautifulesht kitty in the whole whide whorld.
Person: ....um...what?
Me: I lub you. Yesh I do. And you lub me too. Don't you. Dhon't youuu. Mishter grumpy fashe

Person: Um are you talking to your cat? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TALKING TO YOUR CAT. I'm having trouble and you're talking to your stupid cat!

Me: Don't call my cat stupid. YOU'RE Stupid!!
OH no cutie, i wasn't yelling at you. No I wasn't . I wouldh never yell at you. Ok Ok! I'm done I won't bother you anymore!

Person: Are you talking to me or the cat?

Me: Huh? Oh. The cat. She got annoyed cuz I was petting her. Sigh. Why doesn't she love me? Oh Hey..HEY!! AHHH

Person: ......

Me: Sorry, she's playing tag with me. OH HAHAHA I got you!!!

Person: .....Um...(Imagining a smooth way to end the conversation)

But don't worry. I'm only like this with friends. If I'm having a serious conversation with someone that's not a friend then I just talk to my cat in my head. I'm so smart.