Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Mrs. Cullen: [Insert Text Here]

Dear Friends,

Life is so hard right now. I feel like I’m struggling with so many things and I feel like no one understands me. It’s a bad feeling. I think I have friends, but I just feel alone. Sigh. Anyway, there are a few things that make me happy and I’d like to share those with you..

-My grandma:) Shes such a cutie, promise. I love her so much. We have our differences sometimes and I annoy the heck out of her. I’m sure that I’m solely responsible for her gray hairs.

-My cat:) Though she doesn’t really like me and is in love with my parents, shes still MINE and I just get this fuzzy feeling every time we meet eyes. Sigh. And though most of the time she is using me for food, she is still my baby.

-Warmth:) Its been so cold lately. Every night, when I’m feeling low I just turn on my heated mattress and curl up in bed.

-Quran:) Listening to the Quran gives me the same feeling my cat gives me. The reciter (is that even a word?) I listen to has an AMAZING voice (thanks to God), and it just melts my heart.

-My Parents:) Even though we often get annoyed at each other, my mom has been gone for so long and is coming back tomorrow (God willing!). I’m just so excited and happy to see her. I know that happiness will last maybe only a few days and we will go back to being mother-daughter and have our disagreements, I am still just so happy! And my daddy; he always makes me happy!

-My Sister:) My sister is a cutie. She makes me happy cuz she listens to me. Even if I have the same problem over and over again. Or even I have nothing to say. And having someone who always listens, is hard to find. Shes probably the only one I can count on for that. And she makes me happy.

-Dancing:) Ok. I hate to dance. And I really don’t know how. But last year, when it was just a few girlfriends and I, we tried the whole dancing thing. I mean we went crazy—we went buck wild. Basically we looked like idiots and were being dumb. But it really felt nice. And it was fun and it truly makes me happy.

-Dressing up and attempting to look pretty:) It’s annoying, but it makes me happy and its fun. And its very nice getting a compliment or two.

-Surprises:) I don’t mean surprise parties or gifts, but anything that comes to you unexpected (and its positive). That just gives me the best feeling in the world. Whether it’s a phone call from someone or a chocolate bar or an email. It just makes me happy.

-Old pictures:) I love looking at old pictures. Most of the time its very emotional looking at loved ones that have passed or old friends you don’t know anymore, but the memories come back and you remember the good times, and that’s a great feeling.

Ok, that’s all. Have a great day:)

Yours for the sake of Peace and Happiness,
Mrs. Cullen


Allaa` said...

May those things and more make you and keep you happy ; ameen. :) If you need anything or just feel down ; feel free to contact me ; I will listen to it all ; except of course shrieking; oh no; I don`t deal with shrieking at all .

Jaz said...

I hope you'll feel better soon, I pray that your situation changes for the better inshallah!

Your family sounds lovely, you are very lucky :)

thenerdqueen said...

I hope that you feel better soon! It is so amazing that you have a family that you like and support (and who support you).

May you have a wonderful day!

Youthful Wisdom said...

I loved this post so much! I hope you feel better :(

What reciter do you listen to?

Dancing is like one of my favorite things to do! :)

Mark said...

Sounds to me like you have so very much to be grateful for however at the end of the day while all of the externals that you noted give you a lift yet the lift is not sustained and you feel down and alone.
I suggest that the down feeling that you are experencing is a good sign. Often times as we transcend our ego and tune into our authentic being we experince some darkness. This is often the result of the dying of the false self. We grieve for the idealized self while we journey towards our authentic self. Trust in your process and your awareness and allow yourself to feel the darkness with the knowing that on the other side a great light awaits you. The situation that many get themselves into during this process is that become enveloped by the darkness and they become fearful and stop moving along their journey and end up in a downward spiral. Keep moving. Many blessings of love and wisdom to you!

Constructive Attitude said...

i wish i had a heated mattress.

Mrs. Cullen said...

YW--Saad Al-Ghamdi = my favvv

but I also LOVE

Abdul Basit Abdul Samad

oh my Allah, their voices seriously melt my heart!

Mrs. Cullen said...

but if you wanna hear Abdul Basit Abdul Samad don't listen to him on youtube, but dl his actual recordings. sighhh

PI said...

it's nice to always have family to count on no matter how bad it feels, AH
but.. there's always someone that understands enough- its just about knowing who to trust eh?
im also jealous of your mattress :o
great post!!

Chuckle said...

i always like reading your posts :)

Simply me said...

I remember sleeping on your heated mattress that one night. OMG it was so amazing.

Facta Non Verba said...

Heated mattress sounds: AWESOME!

I have a small request - from you bloggers - it would helpful if you provided a page with a summery of who each of you is and maybe doing in life or whatever interests you - i have a hard time keeping track of each individual voice and a nice handy dandy side bar would help jot the old memory box( i'm twenty two - i may need help.)

My vote is for Saad Al Ghamdi when your in the blues. And Abdul Baset slow when you in need of inspiration. Use both medication liberally.

MarjnHomer said...

your happy list is cute. I miss having my grandparents around. I need a happy list too. sometimes we need to look for whats right in our life to block out the bad. :-)

supreem said...

i want to do the dancing bit ;)

Constructive Attitude said...

Facta Non Verba: We haven't forgotten your request, we are working on it :)