Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Float or Clique, Clique or Float

Hate is a strong word.

A very strong word that evokes a lot of emotion.

That being said, I hate those two words.

Float and click.

Loathe them more than anyone could ever know.

According to me, they are defined as:

Cliquey.adj.- Belonging to a click

Clique. n. -A person or group of individuals always associated with one another; Clingy; Exclusive; People who, intentionally, leave others out of their social circle.

Floater. adj. An individual who floats; one who is not associated with a group;instead this individual floats from group to group, from person to person; frankly, an individual who has a new BFF every other day.

In my opinion, they both have negative connotations. And each person can easily labeled as being one or the other. (These are both on opposite sides of the spectrum. And I'm sure there is something in the middle.)

I don't know which is worse to be, but do know when your labeled as one, you would rather be the other. That's how I've been feeling.

More recently than so, I've been labeled as being cliquey. No one has directly said it to my face, indirectly so. I apparently dont come off as cliquey, per se, but my actions may come off as such. And I dont like to delve into such personal issues and dilemmas of my life, but this one has been bothering me for quite some time. And obviously it's still bothering me. After talking in detail with a friend about this issue, she made me realize certain things that I may do that may come off as being exclusive.It has never been, in my intention, to be exclusive or leave anyone out of a "group" or be particularly associated as constantly being with one specific individual or individuals. I dont know whether or not I should go and apologize to those that may assume that I am, and say "Hey, I'm sorry if I came off as cliquey." Or whether I should just leave it because it really is not what I was trying to come off as. Either way, talking to my friend did help put things into perspective. Nor will it ever be in my intention, to become a person who hops from being "close" and having a set of close knit friends to being close with everyone and their mama. While at the same time, not revealing much about myself. I could go on and on and try to prove to others that I am not clicky (which I constantly feel like I'm doing) or I could just leave it and stop worrying about it so much. Which is easier? I dont know. Do I really need to prove something about myself to others that I should care less about? Probably not. But I'll still do it. That's the type of person I am. I dont like being associated with a word that everyone automatically hates.



I know everyone has their own opinion and from outsider's perspective, things may look a certain way. But one's assumptions, judgements, and opinions are almost always inaccurate.

Agree?

Disagree?

Indifferent?

12 comments:

Muslim Girl said...

Hmm, I'd say leave it. I don't think you need to apologize for something you didn't intentionally do. People always find things to criticize other people about, and if we went around apologizing for every single thing then I don't think we'd have time for anything else!

But now that you also know that you are being perceived as such, you can make a conscious effort not to, perhaps?

Good luck! :)

EmptyWords said...

I dont think you should worry yourself too much about it... You didnt do it intentionally and honestly, some people just click better than others and theres nothing wrong with that. I hope you feel better about this issue... =)

Falling Up said...

Don't listen to people. Easier said than done. But I hope you can do it. I mean, you can't go around pleasing everyone. Someone will always be unhappy with what you do. So do your best but don't do it for others. Because this is a more personal matter about yourself. Otherwise I'd tell you to go help others but this is like a social thing. idk. Be happy :)

C said...

As long as you are open to everyone and giving them a fair chance then that's all that matters. Some people just get too comfortable with their own group sometimes that they are not even aware of those who are left out.

Mrs. Cullen said...

Sigh. soml.

Mrs. Cullen said...

ps I just feel like you can't please everyone. nor do you need to please anyone except Allah. I don't think there is anything wrong with having close friends and then not being so close to everyone..its hard to find common interests and form close relationships with everyone.

anyway, this topic makes me blah. it really upsets me when ppl call me those names..sigh.

anyway, ilyph.

Madame Lefty said...

I agree with Mrs. Cullen.

You can't be best friends with everyone. As long as you are open and kind to everyone that is what matters.

Maybe you do send off those vibes, but it's for a reason. (Not in a negative sense.) I think people can read other peoples "chemistries" so to speak and they misinterpret cliquish behavior with opposing personality types.

Usually, whenever I read "cliquish" behavior in someone, if they continue to not be "open" even if they are good people I pick up on the fact that our personalities wouldn't mesh to begin with. Which isn't a bad thing really. At our age, people need to have a better sense of who they would and would not like to associate with.

Don't feel bad! Everything will work out the way it's meant too. I say you leave it alone and carry on your merry way.

Artistic Logic said...

I also say ignore it and be you because sooner or later those other people stop caring as well

PI said...

lol i was so confused til the definitions and then it's just bothering me. it's spelled "clique" dear :)
i've always been the "floater" type because i'm not consistent. but i just stopped letting it bother me and learned to be, and embrace adaptability. Alhamdulillah.
i think it's just important to keep yourself open for the opportunity of finding a new friend you just click with, and also important to be reserved. its your discretion and as long as none of us intentionally hurt someone else, dont worry about what judgment someone else passes. just like you only worry about pleasing allah like mrs. cullen said, you only take judgment from Him too!

PI said...

lol i was so confused til the definitions and then it's just bothering me. it's spelled "clique" dear :)
i've always been the "floater" type because i'm not consistent. but i just stopped letting it bother me and learned to be, and embrace adaptability. Alhamdulillah.
i think it's just important to keep yourself open for the opportunity of finding a new friend you just click with, and also important to be reserved. its your discretion and as long as none of us intentionally hurt someone else, dont worry about what judgment someone else passes. just like you only worry about pleasing allah like mrs. cullen said, you only take judgment from Him too!

Constructive Attitude said...

PI: Lol. I thought it was spelled like that too. I was pretty sure. and then someone said it wasnt. but now you say it is. i should just google it. And if so, I'll change it :) Thanks for putting me on blast!

Anonymous said...

floating isnt bad. Im not in a clique, im friends with pretty much everyone.