Friday, December 5, 2008

Some people need a push..maybe I needed a shove.

I was sitting in the movie theatre when I get a bunch of phone calls. A shooting has occurred; bombs and grenades have been found. People urgently telling me to go home and stay there. Just go home. I was told it was a fight between 2 shopkeepers, I hear another one about it being terrorists, the third person tells me that they don't know what's going on. What is a fact though though is that the guy got away and is God knows where. My city is suspected to be the next target. I didn't know what to believe. We decided our lives are more important than a movie and even though we didn't think anything would happen we couldn't helping thinking what if? So we left. In the middle of the movie. Which happened to be quite funny, I might add..but it wasn't at the moment because after all those calls I kept thinking about what I would do if a bunch of people were to come in and shoot everyone and whether I'd feel the pain if a bomb exploded or not.

Really. I never thought I would have think twice before I went out to eat or shopping or a movie. I never thought I'd have to think about my safety.

I'm at those moments in my life where I'm like, "So this is what it feels like" for all the people out there who live in dangerous, war-stricken lands or even generally violent places. Except obviously their condition is a million times worse. I'm in no way comparing myself to their condition because I can't compare. It's ridiculous to try. I don't think I've ever felt fear until recently. And I don't think it's real fear. It's like almost-there-fear. But it's enough to scare me. The shootings I spoke of happened right in front of my college. The bombing in the mosque that occurred a year and a half ago happened less than a minute from the hospital I go to. Another set of bombings happened a while ago. I pass those places everyday on the way to or from school. So I think I have enough reason so be a teeny tiny bit scared

Muslims believe that there are four things written out for you on the 40th day in the womb: your sex, age at death, provisions, and whether you'll be blessed or not. So basically, I'm going to die whenever it was written for me to die. I don't know when or how but I know that that time is already set. The amount of time I'll be living has already been decided.

So no matter what I'll be doing at that moment, when it's time, it's time. And I'll be gone. So why live in fear? Why not enjoy the moment? I think that if we knew when we were to die most of us wouldn't spend them partying. I think we'd spend it worshipping God, asking for forgiveness and a place in paradise. Being nice to people, our parents, spending time with family. Doing things that count and give us those extra brownie points on the Day of Judgement.

But we don't know when we're going to go. And if, by chance, somehow we know for sure, it'll be too late. So we might as well make most of our time now. I'm not saying praying 24/7. Being a good Muslim/person doesn't mean worshipping all the time. It's about working for your family and loved ones, caring for people, being honest, etc. And with the right intention all of this gets counted into worship anyways. So it's really not a matter of WHEN we'll go..but are we ready to face our Lord?

The Prophet Muhammad, Peace and Blessings of God be upon him said, "The deeds most loved by God are the ones that are consistent, even if they are small." So consistently be honest. Consistently listen to your parents. Consistently pray the five daily prayers. Consistently help people. Consistently NOT constantly. Just form little habits. It's better than praying for 24 hours straight and then not doing anything the other 364 days of the year.

I hope this fear is God's way of reminding me that I should be trying a little harder, doing a little better. And I hope I can remember to listen and take heed of what I have just written and follow my own advice. Making God happy isn't hard. Being a good person isn't a tough job. Sometimes we get a little distracted or need a little push {or shove} once in a while.


Artistic Logic said...

that is scary, be safe
and you're right about everything here.... inshallah inshallah inshallah i can learn from it

Mrs. Cullen said...

Thanks for the reminder. Inshallah you are safe and everything will be ok. Sometimes I think how we always become closer to God when something bad happens. I'm not saying that to you, just in general. I think its a good thing actually. Because when something bad happens you either become closer to God or farther away. I've seen people stray away because they are scared and can't believe God put them through something like this and they don't deserve it and maybe it shouldn't happened to someone else and why me and all that jazz. Its good we become closer to God and remember why we are here. I know that wasn't really what your post was about but I just thought of it.

And once again inshallah everything will be ok. I can understand why you are scared. When I was in 4th grade I went to visit family in @3$%$%?$% (the place I am from) and the situation there was really bad at the time. I remember one time we were watching tv at night at my grandparents house and someone started shooting behind our house. There was a fight going on. I also went a few years ago in high school and we were at a park when all of a sudden a bomb explodes on the street. That was one of the craziest days of my life. How is everything there now? Is it a little better? Umm on a side note, what movie were you watching?

Constructive Attitude said...

Hopefully things will get better over there. I can't imagine what everyone is going through.

And I agree with Mrs.Cullen that we become closer to God when something bad happens.Either that, or we just move farther away.