You Don't Really Know

Almost every girl I know is trying to get married.

"Youthful Wisdom, please can you find me a guy. I need to get married."

So I'm about to break it down for real right now. I'm so ANNOYED with single people talking about marriage as if its the most amazing thing in the world. I'm FRUSTRATED with girls bringing up the marriage topic all the time. I'm TIRED of girls without guys planning out their extravagant future wedding. I'm SICK of people telling me that I got it easy and that my life is amazing because I'm married to the Hubster. (Alhumdulillah)

It's about time everyone gets a reality check. Marriage is not the most amazing thing in the world. Yes, its awesome but does that it mean that your life is suddenly going to be fulfilled if you're not fulfilled right now? Does it mean that you'll find happiness if you don't know how to be happy one your own? Does it mean that your pathetic life is suddenly going to be filled with spontaneous fun and flavor?

NO. It does not.

Everyone always talks about marriage in the most positive light. As amazing as married life is, its important that we be frank about it. The reality is, marriage is just a continuation of your life, only now with more responsibilities and hardships.  It is the union of two completely different people with different backgrounds, different customs, different ways of living. And now these two people must come together and figure out how to build a life together, in unison.

I don't think people realize how difficult that really is. I don't think people realize how emotionally grueling this process is. Marriage tests you in every facet of your life and if you're patient then perhaps you'll make it through alive and happy. But that does not happen right off the bat.

Statistics say that almost 50% of first marriages result in divorce. Thats one in every two people!! Take a minute to let that sink in. Seriously. The main reasons why: poor communication, arguments, and infidelity.

If you aren't patient, if you don't know how to keep your mouth shut when you're angry, if you don't know how to place others in front of yourself, if you get upset easily, if you complain often, then you need to A) rethink whether you're really ready for marriage and B) understand the reality of this lifestyle change.

My advice to all you singlettes trying to get married: Please please please ENJOY your single life. God gave us different phases of our life so we can grow and learn from them. There is a blessing in being single and there is a blessing in being married. And hopefully you get to enjoy both those blessings. Be grateful for whatever one you're in because you're in one stage or the other because thats what God knows is best for you.

I apologize if this post offended you. I just wanted everyone to know the reality of what they keep asking for.

If you havent met Chuckle, then here's your introduction.

For those of you that dont know, Chuckle is my younger 23 year old sister. I like to say that she is the rebel of our family. The one that doesnt really conform to what is expected of her. And the one that does whatever she damn well pleases.

Without a doubt though, she is the apple of my niece, Sue's, eye and is just as equally adored by my nephew, Billy. Once asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, Sue said, "I want to be a nurse like Khala (Aunt)" and Billy said "I want to be Khala."

Not too long ago, Chuckle and I would wake up in the morning together, get ready for work together, and leave the house together. She would don her stethoscope and I would wear my school lanyard. Her ID badge said "RN" while mine said "1st grade teacher."

If you met my sister in college, and got to know her, then you would have known that she always, always, always had her nose in books. She was constantly studying and memorizing notes and stuff for class. She would frequently isolate herself from the outside world and campus and basically lived in the the second floor study area of the really creepy library on campus. Although teased many times for living there, she wouldn't relent in her studies and worked her posterior off to get into Nursing School and finish her degree in Nursing.

The thing is, she wasn't always like that. When my sister began junior high she vowed to herself that she would drop out of school when she was in 10th grade. At that time, the legal age for a student to drop out of school was 16. So she made it her goal, and made it well known (even told my parents) that at the age of 16, she would leave it all behind and just sit at home. Now, obviously my parents wouldn't let her do such a thing. But her attitude towards school was very dismal and she didn't care much for it. She loathed it. She hated her peers. Argued with her teachers. And her grades weren't exactly up to par as they should have been. There were times in junior high when she would ask to go to the restroom during PE (Physical Education) and walk straight out of the doors and go home, claiming that it was a half day. Sometimes she wouldn't even ask to go to the restroom but during transition breaks between classes she would leave the building, and go to the nearby Rite-Aid. Or she would just roam the streets. Sometimes with friends. But mostly by herself. (I would like to tell you what I think was the contributing factor to this, but I rather not open up that can of worms.) The school truancy director had to get in touch with my dad and speak to him about the frequent absences that were occurring. I was so scared the day that he found this out. I was scared for her life.

Tenth grade did eventually roll around, but there was no dropping out for her. She continued high school. Took some college courses while in high school. Finished high school. And enrolled in college. Alhamdulilah. I like to think what changed her mind was the influence of her friends, me and my older sister, and strong prayers my parents made on her behalf. But I really cant say that even she knows what changed her mind. Regardless of what it was that got her out of that phase, thank God Almighty, that she got out of it.

Sometimes I look at her and chuckle (no pun intended) to myself at how far she's come from where she was. When she began college, my dad made it very clear to each of us (his daughters particularly) that he wanted us to pursue a degree in education. My older sister did it. I was, at the time, on the road towards it as well. Clearly she didn't take that route though. Teaching wasn't her "thing". But in my personal opinion, I think she would have rocked as a teacher. She is so good with kids! mashaAllah!

Currently she is working the midnight shift at the hospital and it's not exactly how she envisioned the world of Nursing. It's a struggle for her and she vocalizes frequently how much she wants to quit and become a "housewife". But just as the dropout phase went away, I have full faith that this too shall pass. God willing.

I love you Mommy

Every once in a while you run into something where a stranger bares their soul for the world. And then this stranger will touch something deep inside us. Inspire us. And cause a reaction to take place.

And it comes in a lot of forms.

And it can come on youtube.

And it can be from people like 15 year old Brittany whose mother is diagnosed with Alzheimers

My grandmother had dementia as well. I watched dementia take my grandmother away before she was even gone.

And while I've been too scared to confirm it, I know that the likelihood of this disease can increase through genetics. That is not a possibility I want to be faced with when I look at my own mother.

What Brittany is doing, is something I'm too scared to even find out if I have the strength to handle.

This young woman inspired another. A 13 year old girl in another powerful and touching video on youtube. And the title of her video is dedicated to her inspiration, Stay strong, Brittany.

To be honest, I don't know who actually started this. At first I thought it was just these two gals, then I clicked on another video that looked similar and I felt like I opened the flood gates. God knows how many videos by different individuals, mostly teenagers, some even telling their deepest darkest secrets and most of them ending with a positive note to live on.

In the half hour I watched the videos I tried making my way to the video that started the 'tumblr secrets' videos. Then I remembered I had life and death exams this week and stopped. Watching some felt like a slap to my face, WAKE UP. LOOK AT THE THINGS PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH AROUND YOU.

Just a reminder, what you see isn't always what reality is

CC out

I think I have a serious problem. Recently I watched City of Angels. Ever since I watched this movie, I feel like there might be some people who can hear our thoughts. And this has freaked me out. I don't know. Maybe there are some people with special/magical powers who can do this. I thought about this for a while.

Our thoughts are the only personal thing we have. No one is supposed to know what we are thinking or how we feel.

Last week I realized this person could be in my class. So, I started thinking in sentences. For example, instead of thinking about a situation and how it made me feel, I would say it or narrate it in my head. I will say "man, that really made me mad when so-and-so said that to me." Blah. And then sometimes I will find myself trying to communicate with the person in my class and tell them its rude for them to listen to everyones thoughts, and to leave me alone. Oh. I also ask them not to tell everyone about my secrets.

I feel like such an idiot. But I can't help it. I'm kind of paranoid.

EDIT: I forgot to mention (and then some of you reminded me in comments) that sometimes I think of something really interesting and then look around to see people's reactions. I haven't really noticed anyone look surprised. So, I kinda think it could be someone who sits behind me. There are two whole rows. Hmm.

California

C A L I F O N I A

Yes, the state that is expected to break off continent. (Actually that's just a myth)

But anyhow, its the beautiful state the Hubster and I went to for our vacation this past December.  Here are some of the highlights of the trip...

1. Attending an amazing wedding! The main reason we went to Cali was because the Hubster was photographing our friend's wedding. The both of us pretty much became part of the family and being a part of a fun crazy big Eritrean wedding basically consisted of dancing and partying for 3 days straight. Eritrean dance is so different and basically consists of a two step dance with a bunch of shoulder popping. For those of you who don't know, Eritrea is a country on the horn of Africa.   
2. Being spontaneous and booking random hotels off priceline.com the day of our check in. This actually was a super smart idea because we paid about $50-$60 for 3-4 star hotels each night. The best was Marriott's Residence Inn. An apartment with breakfast included all for $50? Yea, it was sweet. 
3. Visiting friends, family, and random people every single day, literally. There was this Palestinian and African American couple I saw at the wedding and then ran into the next day randomly at the San Diego Mosque. They had noticed us and we noticed them because we're both obvious interracial couples that people don't normally see. We ended up becoming really good friends and went out for coffee the next day out in Inland Empire. Then another day we were at Coronna Masjid for the Friday prayer. When I finished and turned around I ran into a friend of mine that I was in Egypt with two years ago! She was super surprised. 
4. Chilling in Venice Beach! This place is soo beautiful. You can walk along the beach which was really nice and peaceful during the day. So the city is named after Venice because Venice, Italy is known for its canals and Venice Beach in California actually has similar canals running along the coast which homes all along it. 

5. Hollywood Blvd. One word for this place: LAME.
6. Lo Jolla Coves in San Diego was a lot of fun. I met up with a good friend of mine and we just walked along the coast, looking at pretty shells and trying not to slip on the wet rocks. 

7. Eating at Diddy Riese Cookies in Westwood, LA. Now this stuff was goood stuff. Freshly baked cookies sandwiching amazing ice cream which together just melts in your mouth like Heaven on earth. mmhhm. 
8. FOOOD! We ate Eritrean food, Persian food, Chinese food, Soul food, Arab food, ... you get the point. It was soo worth!

All in all it was a wonderful trip filled with meeting people, partying, experiencing scenic views, and just having a good time! 

Hi everyone!

Hows your new year going? Mine's been packed with writing assignments that make me crave memorization-only classes ;). Anywho, up in my neck of the woods there were these huge snowstorms that made everything look sooo pretty and interesting!

This is the entrance to my school it made me think of a winter wonderland :))

Ooo and this is something I found which I thought was really cool, it's a poster that was found in New York. If you ask me, it should be everywhere!

Since it's now citrus season I thought i'd plug my favorite citrus-y fruit! The Blood Orange!

Ok I think thats enough time procrastinating on my 8 page paper :) meet up with you lovelies soon with something a little more substantive ;p

My grandparents are coming to visit me next week, God willing. I am so excited! I love my grandparents. They are going to be staying with me for about a month! Yay! Its going to be so nice coming home every day to someone at my apartment. Not to mention, coming home to an amazing home-cooked meal.

The reason they are coming here is because its cold where they live and its warm here. Unfortunately its been kind of cold here for the last few days, but I hope it warms up by Wednesday (when they come!!!)!!!!! They usually stay at home all day so I kinda want to show them around and show them a fun time.

My sister moved away for school a few years ago. My family and I visit her a lot. Even my brother. But he hasn't visited me. It makes me sad, kind of. I wish he would want to come and visit me. I mean I know I don't live in a cool place like New York or California, but I also don't live somewhere like Kansas or Montana. I also have only been gone for a few months now. But I don't know if he will ever want to visit me. I'm not really an outgoing person, according to my friends!!!!!!!

Anyway. I would love to try and cook that chicken YW made (below) but I don't know what cumin is. I do have some chicken breast so I think I will try and make something? And maybe I'll Google cumin. I will let you know how it goes!!!!

Cumin Grilled Chicken

Okay so now that I've been cooking about twice a week, its important that I find fun and interesting recipes or else the Hubster and I will get really bored of our food... 

So I found this excellent recipe on www.foodnetwork.com of Cumin Grilled Chicken Breasts. I did my own twist by lightly frying/sauteing it instead of grilling (I don't have a grill...) and by adding some lemon. 

Ingredients

• 4 skinless boneless chicken breast halves pounded to 1/2-inch thickness (Mine were really thick so I just sliced them in half)
• 2 teaspoons olive oil
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin (I put a bit more b/c I really love cumin =D )
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper

Directions

Heat a few tbsp of oil in a large frypan on medium-high heat. Rub chicken breasts with olive oil. Mix cumin, salt and pepper and rub spice mixture evenly onto chicken breasts. Cook chicken in frypan until it is cooked through, about 4-5 minutes per side. Remove from heat, let rest for 5 minutes. 

I added some squeezes of lemon on top before serving and it was purely delectable. We ate it with homemade fried cajun rice. The recipe for that is pretty simple. Boil 2-3 cups of water. In a wok heat some oil and saute a half chopped onion and some mixed vegetables until cooked (a few minutes). Add some salt, cajun seasoning (tons of it) and half a tsp of paprika. Put on medium and mix in the boiled rice. Mix around, add some more cajun and salt to taste and you're all set to go :)  

...Falling down

My 15-month-old baby fell down the stairs.

It was about 6-7 steps, between the top of the stairs and onto the middle platform. He was crying a lot.

He lost one tooth on the bottom row.

God tests us in many ways.  

God says in the Quran, "Indeed, your wealth and children are but a trial (64:15)."

Alhamdulillah, Glory to God, it was not anything worse. The pediatrician said children can have a seizure following a hard fall. They can also break limbs.

But God has saved us from that anguish. Alhamdulillah.

Please keep him in your prayers.

Geico: So easy that a caveman can do it.

It's like 5 am.

Ok. No. I lied. It's really 7:28 am.

But who can tell the difference? I'm awake when I don't want to be, everyone else is sleeping and it's still dark outside. And it's a saturday. So it's pretty much the same.

I should be studying.

No. I lied again. I REALLY REALLY should be studying.

I didn't do anything all day yesterday (=got no school work done) because I couldn't stop feeling anxious and restless and all I wanted to do is eat, which I did; first breakfast, second breakfast, pizza, hash browns, dinner, second mini dinner including two toaster strudels, then two bowls of popcorn and chips (mixed together ) right before I gave up and went to sleep.

And I woke up today feeling so irritated and fat. First I got grumpy with my mom, and felt terrible about it, then I just grunted at my cat (a guess a little something like a caveman), then I got really irritated with myself and snapped at myself , then I thought about everything that I ate, looked in the mirror and decided that I was clearly getting fat, and snapped at myself again.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHH

It's amazing how negative energy promotes negative energy.

Maybe if I went out and cleaned ...oh I dunno.... like the local Freeway, I would have gone to bed and woken up with daisies falling all around me to pretty music and birds and squirrels singing and flying rainbows. I would have let out a giggle, and pranced like a ballerina to the bathroom.

Okay I lied again, as I'm sure you can clearly tell, there is no such thing as CC giggling......Or prancing for that matter.

Oh but I do like banging my head against the wall, both metaphorically and realistically.

It's such a great exercise and I don't know why people just don't do that instead of spending hundreds of dollars on yoga and meditation. They could be using that money on car insurance!

Or they could switch to Geico and save hundreds of dollars on car insurance and use that money to buy therapy classes for their local medical student.

Who like a fellow author once very clearly pointed out, is YOUR FUTURE DOCTOR.

And the end. That's the happy ending you get with this post............yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

CC, out

Diet Journal Review

A few months ago, I blogged about starting a Diet Journal and promised with a follow up.

When I initially started it and wrote down everything I ate before I ate it, I noticed a dramatic reduction in the amount of food I consumed. Maybe it was because I was more conscious of what I was eating and didn't want to feel like a fatty. Or maybe it was because before I ate something I started to ask myself if I was eating out of hunger or boredom. Whatever it was it helped me realize that a huge chunk of my calorie intake came from snacking and I lost two pounds in the first ten days without even going hungry.

I set a calorie goal for the day and tried to not cross it. It's much harder than it looks; especially if you're a snacker like me. I became really conscious of the food choices I was making. Instead of reaching for a cookie, I'd grab an apple, which didn't bother me because I love fruit and vegetables so much.

The problem with India is that there is a shortage of healthy food options. There are an abundance of little kiosks and vendors selling chips and Cadbury chocolate bars; mango juice and Fanta. There is a shortage of fresh, undamaged fruit. The fruit and vegetables I was able to find was half rotten and the prices were sky high for the poor quality. So it was difficult to eat more quality food, even though I'd remain within my calorie limit. This made me feel like garbage and fat and greasy.

So anyways, I stuck with it regardless and stopped as soon as I came back to America, because I left my diet journal in India. I thought it would help me form a habit of controlling myself, but it didn't. Maybe I'm just too gluttonous. I am going to go back on it from tomorrow because I really felt a difference when I was on it. It works if you honestly write down what you ate and how many calories the food contains. I don't know if it'll help everyone, but for a snacker I think it'll help reduce involuntary.

Oh, and I picked up Skinny Bitch {read Simply Me's review HERE}, and they make you feel like a cow. I also feel like I should go organic. But not vegan. Another story for another day.

Small frequent meals are good, but when you stick food in your mouth as soon as you spot it without thinking it isn't. So yes, I recommend this is people like me who can't control their cravings and then cry about being fat.


Edit: I'm going to randomly put my New Years Resolution in here: Stop drinking Tea that isn't green/herbal. Today is day one.

The new year thingys

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I spent new year's eve in my bedroom reading the Muslim holy book, the Quran.

My fascination with the new year hullabaloo ended like two or three years ago. And new year's day is like just another day.

The authors of this blog were supposed to share some of their reflections or highlights of this past year, and since I never got on them to send me their sentences, you all are gonna be stuck with just my thoughts.

And with some imaginary drum roll I present to you some of my highlights and reflections of this past year:

The realization of the increasing effort I need to be putting in, to show my parents respect, love and to bring them happiness, insh'Allah

The need for me to find spiritual balance for my soul, so my confidence is not so easily shaken and my thoughts are not so easily turned negative...Eat, Pray, Love ...Did you read the book? If you did, you have some idea as to what I'm talking about.

An Islamic conference, here in North America, instilling in me the importance to insh'Allah cultivate Love for people, creatures and the world around me. The way one of the speakers worded it, (and I summarize in my own words) Bani Adam (the Children of Adam) is your entire family. You might get annoyed with our family or may not get along with all of them, but you can't just leave them or remove them. Become a people that deals with life with good nature and humor, with shifting perspectives to see situations not just from your own perspective but from that of other people, even animals or the environment.

To be a student, is not to just learn from a classroom, but is an active process that takes place at all times, and to carry a pen and notebook wherever you go because you never know where you may learn something, because life can be a constant teacher-another thing I picked up from the conference.

Medical school is hard. Period. And kinda stupid.

It's easy to fall into a depression or any negative emotion when you're going through hard times. And the more lonelier you feel, the harder it is to keep yourself from sinking. But it's still very much possible especially if you yourself refuse to let go and keep yourself open to experiencing the wonders and joys around you.

Kids are so freaking awesome sometimes, especially when they can pop and lock while dancing and tell YOU that you're "Not feeling the music! You have to feeelll it while dancing" LOL

and CC, out

P.S. I pray to God that he blesses us with a year in which the world is filled with more mercy and understanding, where people take the time to sit down and choose the correct path for the good of others, and any obstacles and problems that people are going through are made easy. Ameen.