Thursday, September 10, 2009

WTF: Teaching Edition.

Started the official teaching job this week with the kiddies. I was pessimistic like no other thinking things wouldnt be the way I wanted them to be, but slightly hoping that in the end things would look optimistic.



That SO didnt happen.

Here's the WTF is going on in the world of teaching list:

  • My last name starts with a "Q" and has lots of vowels in it, and ends with an "M". This kid called me Mrs. Cumin.

  • Another called me Mrs. Kwa Kwa.

  • People keep calling me Mrs. I've corrected them multiple times. It's still happening.

  • I used to have a telemarketer voice, now I have a teacher voice.

  • I leave my house before roosters are Cockadoodling.

  • I'm used to staying after school now.

  • It's so hard to keep a straight face when being mean to the kids.

  • I fought a kid over hand sanitizer. YES, hand sanitizer. He left my room kicking and screaming and saying "Don't touch me" because THREE people had to CARRY him out of my room. He would not sit down and DEMANDED that I give him his hand sanitizer back. I thought he was going to punch me in the stomach.

  • Apparently this is a regular occurrence with this kid.

  • He's in my class for the entire school year.

  • He's not going anywhere.

  • The VERY first thing I encountered on the VERY FIRST DAY, when I was EXTREMELY nervous was a hysterical first grader crying non-stop and causing a scene and saying " I want my mommy"

  • Me, my sisters, CC, and Mrs. Cullen have spent the past two weeks preparing my class and keeping it organized. It is no longer organized.

  • I cannot wear heels. I just can't do it anymore. I feel like my life has lost its purpose when I came to this conclusion.

  • I practiced the fire drill TEN times with my kids.

  • WTF (Why the freak) do kids cry when they CHOOSE to break the rules.

  • I cant deal with all these tears. And I dont. I tell them to suck the tears back in. I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT!

  • I was called mean. This is a WTF for the kids. Not me. This makes me happy!(I'm not a witch, I'm just being firm and setting the bar. Dont hate me)

  • Lastly, time goes by SUPER duper fast. But this is a BML. :)

Goodbye summer vacation, Hello school year!


EmptyWords said...

your first week sounds super duper fantastic Mrs. CA ;)

Amalia said...

oh it all sounds so familiar! Don't worry you'll soon get used to it!

My classroom is always a mess - I don't understand how other people keep it neat and tidy. I try with all my might to get things to look neat and tidy and it just doesn't seem to work for me.

But the kids will settle in and I'm sure you'll be a great teacher. Good luck with it all :)

Faith said...

I wonder how you were when you were their age ;D

Kim said...

Welcome back to school! I can't wait to hear more stories about your students.

Soda and Candy said...

Good times, my mum is a teacher & it reminds me of so many of her stories!!!

Viva La Fashion said...

that kid really liked his hand sanatizer. :)

mint.fresh.muslim said...

Sounds like fun! At least they keep you on your toes eh?! I don't think I would have the patience to deal with whining kids all day long so hats off to you for surviving :-) The hand sanitiser thing brought back memories of similar instances lol. Watch, by the end of the academic year you wil have amassed a great wealth of school kid goodies!

Anonymous said...

oh man, stick with it! i have a lot of teacher friends, and their stories are a lot like yours. but there are some good ones too :o)

fuelMybrain said...

Yes I too can't wait to hear great stories from the classroom this year! My BF teaches 7th grade English and we just talk up a crap storm about it all I think to myself, "Is this how my teachers talked/felt outside of the classroom... OMG they were real people" LOL.