Sunday, September 27, 2009

Mirror, mirror on the wall who's the cruelest of them all


Once upon a time in a far far away area of a little ghetto town where people were afraid for their lives and stray pit bulls liked to chase innocent civilians, lived a beautiful maiden by the name of Constructive Attitude. And a beautiful maiden was she. (Masha'Allah).

This story is not about her beauty though, because, well, it's besides the point.


Upon the request of her authoritative figures a.k.a. her parents, Constructive Attitude was sentenced to spend the rest of her eternity with 27 three feet dwarfs.

The only way she could be released from such a harsh sentence were if she were to become betrothed to some non-American from a far far far farrrrrrrrrrrrrr away place that reeks of fish and is near an Ocean.

This damsel was in real distress.

Do you think she would want to do that?

So rumor had it, that this striking beauty settled for a life of torturing children.

Aside from all of that though, as frightened as she was of the three feet dwarfs, CA put on a courageous face and marched into the classroom every single day as if she were a drill sergeant, with the hopes of teaching those 27 dwarfs how to act like polite and respectful human beings.

Yes, she may be using methods that can be relatively comparable to torment and approaches that all of humankind may not agree with, such as taunting the dwarfs with candy and eating eat in front of them and telling them that she might take it all home and eat it all by herself.

Or barking, "What?" when they raise their hands.

And asking them, "Why are you in my face?"

Or giving the irritating kid a piece of candy that she knew he wouldnt like and then taking it away from him because he was being unappreciative.

And giving them only five minutes for recess.

And making them practice the fire drill ten times.

And not tolerating any form of talking during instruction.

And tearing up assessments if they were caught talking/whispering/looking at a paper other their own.

And laughing when they tell her they have received "O dollars".
(Students are to receive "money" as a positive reward from the teacher. And if you dont have any money or have "0 dollars", it will OBVIOUSLY prevent you from buying anything from the the school store) HAHA

And provoking them to get angry and throw tantrums (Children who throw tantrums are sent to the office.A certain number of pink slips in the office will result in expulsion from the school. )

And apparently scaring one kid so much that his mom was going to come to the school and change his class ASAP. Such a good Samaritan was CA, that she beat the mom to it. That kid was no longer in her room.

And making the dwarfs who cannot participate in recess because of poor behavior sit at a bench and watch as everyone else has fun.

And laugh at the kids who cannot have fun and watch as bumble bees attack them (For some reason, all the bumble bees are by those benches. How ironic)













But so long as the job is getting done, that is all that matters.

Constructive Attitude will make a difference in a child's life.

One day, maybe not anytime soon, the world will thank her.

And she will say, You are welcome!

And then ALL of us will live happily ever after.

And it will be because of her.


The End.

17 comments:

Artistic Logic said...

lol i never know what part of it to believe and what part not to believe

Jaz said...

Hahaha very interesting

ladytruth said...

So it's safe to assume that things are going really well then? ;)

Just hang in there, they say it gets better in the second year or so.

Faith said...

LOOL

Come back and tell us more about the kids you love. I mean they can’t be all dwarfs from hell ;D

Falling Up said...

OH, CA...are you really this mean? lol. I can't believe this.

ps - I forgot to ask why you had to take away that kids sanitizer in the first place?? {in the other post}

HOPELESSBELIEVER said...

Hello Constructive,
I saw that you left a comment on my blog, but you stated you were having a problem. If you just click on comments and not links it will take you straight to the comments area.
I like your story and I'm sure you will make a difference in a childs life someday. I have a 10 year old who is constantly whining about how his teacher is always "yelling" at the class. One more time, and this teacher and I will have to have a talk. YOu can't teach anyone anything by yelling at them.
Well, hope you will come back and visit my blog,
take care,
Julian :)

HOPELESSBELIEVER said...

Hey there CA,
ok , lol, I had the link backwards, so I've changed it and it works now! LOL, thanks for letting me know. :)

Rabia said...

The only way she could be released from such a harsh sentence were if she were to become betrothed to some non-American from a far far far farrrrrrrrrrrrrr away place that reeks of fish and is near an Ocean.

This damsel was in real distress.

Do you think she would want to do that?

So rumor had it, that this striking beauty settled for a life of torturing children.


- I laughed so HARD when I read that part!!! :D

You're absolutely right; you WILL make a huge difference in each child's life. What grade do you teach?

LiLu said...

The beauty is never beside the point. ;-)

.:*aMbAr*:. said...

OMG LOL!!!! Sounds like some of my teachers though.

pilgrimchick said...

Wow. Will the 27 dwarfs stage some kind of a riot?

I can entirely understand teaching children and the occasional temptation to torment them as much as they torment you.

linlah said...

Candy torture, nothing worse than candy torture at any age.

Kate said...

You WILL make a difference in a child's life, and you may never even know about it!

Mrs. Cullen said...

oh my gosh, you really are snow white, except you are much prettier than her

Kim said...

Very cute!

fuelMybrain said...

I have to make the assumption that these are the things you'd love to do but don't... ok, I can sleep tonight then. :/

MarjnHomer said...

lol very interesting I LOVED IT