Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Mrs. Cullen: The Grouch

Dear Friends,

Mrs. Cullen here. I don't know why I just said that. Anyways. Usually I write a post because something stupid or funny happened to me. Or something crazy. But I have nothing. Sorry guys. Lately I just feel like I have been facing a series of unfortunate events. Ok nothing like the Baudelaire orphans. But still. Bad enough to make me sad. I was thinking and thinking of something semi-funny to write about but nothing came to mind. I then realized that I always just try to make fun out of everything that happens in my life. And then I always just let people laugh with me [or at me..sometimes I don't know] just because I'd rather face a problem that way then dealing with it straight up. So I kept trying to think of ways to make these events funny, but I can't do it. But if you are cruel [like my stupid boss who laughed at one of the following events] then go ahead and laugh, meanie!

Oh, I would like to put some blame on Simply Me who totally caused one of the events to occur. Last week, she kept on texting me with her cool phone as I was driving. I was like, seriously, STOP TEXTING ME. But she wouldn't stop. Anyway, I ran a red light right outside of my subdivision [which happens to be located right next to the police station] and a stupid cop pulled me over. And gave me a ticket. I promise I did not run a red. I am sure it was yellow and maybe turned red. But I am pretty sure it was not red before I crossed it. Stupid cop. Anyway, I convinced my parents that I didn't run a red and that the cop was racist. So izz alll good. But I am super scared about going to court in two weeks. I wanted to plead NOT GUILTY but my brother said to plead GUILTY because they will get rid of my points that way and if I plead NOT GUILTY and am guiltified [um..proven not innocent?] then I will have the 3 points and the fine. I don't know what to do!!!! I wish I could dress all skanky and shake what my momma and grandmamma gave me and everything would be ok. But unfortunately for me [and the judge] I can't really do that.

Anyway, I will keep you updated on how that goes. And if my parents end up killing me or not. I know you are just dying to know what happens. Speaking of parents my poor momma has been sick lately. The poor lady had a stroke the other day [her second one in a year]. She is ok but I just feel really sad because shes sick and looks so weak. And that makes me sad. I hope you all pray for her health so she can have a long long life and keeps paying my credit card bill till I get married [then my husband will pay it..DUH]. Hmm. 

I wanted to attach a picture but it just wont do my beautiful car justice. A stupid bird hit my windshield as I was driving on the highway on Sunday. My windshield was COMPLETELY shattered and it was really sad. I didn't know it was a bird because it happened so fast. When I saw the blood, guts and feathers thats when I realized it was an idiot bird. I don't mean to be rude but that bird kinda deserved death because she had no freaking brains. What bird flies so close to the ground? Where there are moving objects? Most birds I know [other than Big Bird], fly away when they see the slightest movement. Stupid bird. But um. In case you are wondering, I am fine=) There was no other damage except a little. To my heart. I was traumatized and the doctor said I should be looking for symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Oh, my doctor is WedMD. 

One of the LAST things that has been bothering me is kinda complicated. So I will just keep it short. I problem I kinda have is that I don't open up to people, much. Even my close friends. I just don't tell them how I feel about something if something wrong happens. What I hate is when I finally do open up, even just a little and say how I feel, its not appreciated it. I hate that. It makes me not want to open up or ever share how I feel. It makes me feel blah. I feel blah right now. I am sad to be me right now but I know I would be more sad if I was Chris Brown. Poor guy has been having a terrible week. Oh, if you are living under a rock and don't know who CB is, well he is Rihanna's [soon to be EX?] boyfriend. We dated for a while and he asked to marry me but I said no because of personal reasons. It really hurt me inside because we had amazing Chemistry and everything. But now I am just glad because if we were married then I'd be all bruised up right now and would have missed the Grammys. Phew! Thank God for that decision. Anyway. Hope I didn't make you fall asleep and hope you all are having a better week than me and CB! And I am sorry Chuckle for not making you lol today. 

Yours for the sake of Peace, Sisterhood and Sesames Street,

Mrs. Cullen

PS: Please pity my sadness and change the layout to this blog because it makes me more sad, C.C. Thanks.


Anonymous said...

Oh come on! You are so much better than CB! He doesn't deserve you.

Anonymous said...

I knew something was wrong with you! If it makes you feel better, I got a ticket too. Last Monday. For making a left turn into the driveway of my bank, even though the pole at the entrance of the driveway said, "NO LEFT TURN" It's $120 and 2 points and my first court date is also next week. Maybe we can practice on what we'll say together. Maybe it was karma. MAYBE YOU WISHED IT UPON ME? Sigh. But we're even now.

Alhamdulillah your mom is ok!!! A thousand shattered windshields is better than having you get hurt! Allah is just testing you with many trials. Be patient and you will get the best of rewards Insha'Allah. You are in my duas and I am here if you need to talk - no joke. LOVE YOU! Muahs

Artistic Logic said...

Inshallah your mom gets better soon... and no more of these strokes .... feed her lots of good fruit and chicken soup... she'll have a speedy recovery INSHALLAHHH!!!!

also, i love how you capitalized Chemistry....

I sometimes have the same problem as you do ... the 3rd one ... don't worry it'll all be better =)

Chuckle said...

i wish i could help in some way and i wish you didn't have to go through all of this. i always get scared that something health related will happen to my parents sooner or later. it's such a bad thought to have but i feel like somehow i need to prepare myself. i had no idea about your mom. thats so tough. she is definitely in my duaas (and you are too).

and most cops are jerks. they really are. i feel like they feel happy to make our lives tougher than they already are and they get really happy when they have that power. i went to court last year for speeding and the cop and judge didn't even care what i had to say. i hope you don't have jerks like that when you go to court.

and inshAllah inshAllah things get better. they absolutely must. and those tough patches in life are temporary. even though at times they seem to go on forever. i've had some of those where everyone kept pulling me down when i was already low. and i really didn't have many people to turn to but seriously Allah was always there. and so are your friends. MashAllah you have some amazing friends that want nothing but for you to be happy. Use them and tell them your troubles gurl. and if you just want them to listen and not give you advice, tell them that. and if that doesn't work come to me. i'll listen. i'm all ears. and i will also yell at them for giving you advice. because sometimes you just need someone to listen.

and everytime i see you, you always make me :)

inshAllah things get better sooner than later.

Constructive Attitude said...

im sorry.

i didnt know about your mom. inshallah shes doing better.

and chuckle always always says that i try to give advice when all she wants me to do is listen.


Cheryl said...

I'm sorry about your mom :(

Rachel said...

Both times I've gotten speeding tickets, I've gone to court, and they've made me pay the fines, but took the points off of my license.

I think that sometimes they're more lenient once you've paid?

I have no idea.

Youthful Wisdom said...

I had no idea about your mom! I pray that Allah increases her health and gives her many more happy years to come! Ameen. Your mom is a pretty strong woman mashaAllah ...you're blessed to have her :)

fuelMybrain said...

Definately take tabs on any signs of post tramatic stress syndrome. LOL

I thought it odd that you assumed the bird was female, I vote it was probably male because you mentioned the no freakin brains things = must be male.

Sorry to hear about you not feeling validated after opening up. My husband always says: "You got something to complain about? Go complain on the internet!" So here we are, blogging.