When you move far away you learn a lot about yourself, your family and friends, and just….life. Well, at least I am. I am learning a lot; in school and every day experiences. My head is going to explode and I can’t take it anymore.
First of all, I learned a lot about my family and how I took them for granted so, so much. And a home. The word “home” means so much more to me now, then it did when I lived with my family. What makes a home? Well, more than one person---that’s for sure. My apartment truly felt like a home when my grandparents came to visit. Now they are gone and it no longer feels like a home. Its just a place where I sleep, shower, breathe and cry. I have been trying to spend as little time as I possibly can at my apartment because it just makes me feel lonely and it makes my mind wander, which is not a good thing. Thank God for the comfort of my school and library.
I guess you learn about your friends too. I’m so grateful to have people who care for me and I really learned this so much more when I moved away. Honestly, I really learned how much some people cared about me. Its nice, and it also sucks sometimes. Its nice because its comforting and it sucks realizing that some people just want to be your friend when you are visiting “home,” but not when you are far away.
Oh. I've also had my first few experiences this semester of feeling "helpless." I mean I've felt helpless before. But I am far away from "home" and there were three instances I really felt that I could've been there for my family and a friend. I hated it.
Other than that I’ve also learned a lot of things I would’ve never learned if I never moved away. People always told me I lived in a bubble and I would get so mad. But I guess it was so true. And it still is, but now it’s a bubble that’s been popped, and still in the process of deflating. I’ve met so many different types of people and I’ve learned a lot about different different cultures and lifestyles—more than I’ve learned the last four years of my life. Fo real.
And there is still so much more I wanna learn. So many things I'm curious about and so many people whose stories I want to know. Everyone has a story. Everything has a story.
Anyway. I’m really really trying to force myself to like it here. And its kind of working☺ Well, kind of. I’ve started to enjoy and adore school, so that’s a start. God willing I will soon enjoy and be grateful for everything else!!