Friday, January 15, 2010

Mrs. Cullen: The Death Eater

Dear Friends,

I'm so hungry. I've been craving yummie foods for the last few days. Sigh. My mom is making me diet. Shes making me eat salad every single day. I have to eat it for lunch. And I have to eat it for dinner. If I don't eat it for lunch then I can only eat a small portion of the food I am choosing to eat instead. It freaking sucks. For snacks I can only have fat-free yougurt. Sigh. Oh and fruit. FML. Ok this is kind of a good thing because, God willing, I will lose some weight. I am kinda fat. Not really. I just have a big belly. Sometimes if I stick it out as much as I can, I look like I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant. I don't like babies. Omg. The other day on the radio, Lady Gaga was saying how she doesn't eat anything because shes a popstar. All she has is coffee. I dunno how you can just admit to that! Sigh. I wish it was possible for me to control eating. I love food too much.

Anyway. I've also started going to the gym. I had stopped for a while because school was in the way. But now I'm back. The gym is an interesting place to observe people. The whole time I'm there I feel like everyone is watching me and judging me because I don't have running shoes. Or because I wear a lot of layers of clothing. But thats only because it makes you sweat more, which is good. Blah. I love the gym because its .2 seconds away from my house and because they have TVs. I love watching Ellen in the morning or Wendy Willams. Wendy Williams is so ODD. I have no idea who she is and where she came from. I love watching her show cuz shes odd. Sometimes my 30-minute jog is done but I stay for another 30 just to finish watching a show. I'm so lame.

Anyway. So I'm starving and working out. Its just been a two weeks of working out and one week of dieting. It sucks. I always listen to the cosmetic surgons on the radio and wish I just get some surgery done. But I can't. Because its expensive. And people would talk about me. If I didn't know anybody in the world, and had a lot of money, then I'd do it. I mean why is it so terrible? Blah. I've also been dying to eat out. Somewhere that my mom doesn't see me. I know this dieting and exercise is for me, but still shes watching me like a hawk. Its not like she forces me to do it, but when she says things like "is there a freaking worm in you thats eating all your food because you never stop getting hungry," it makes me sad. There isn't a worm. Ew.

Anyway, I really hope I go out to eat somewhere this weekend. Yum. Sushi. Noodles. Salmon. Fried Chicken. Cold stone. Sigh. Ok I have to go to the gym because I slept all day and so I feel like a fat lard.

Yours for the sake of Peace and Motherhood,
Mrs. Cullen


Constructive Attitude said...

i cant believe you watch wendy williams and stay half an hour to finish it.. and i cant believe you would get plastic surgery. isjyrn. bnr.

Artistic Logic said...

i need to do that too.
good job and keep it up so i can be motivated too

.:*aMbAr*:. said...

Hey!!! no time no see, thanks so much for your comment!! I missed ya.

Anywho I can never diet!!! I eat too much. But it's good that you're going to the gym!!! I don't go cause I don't like going by myself, it sorta creeps me out :/

Take care~

Fatima said...

Nah man, that ain't good for you, you'll start putting all the weight that you lost back on straight after you start eating other stuff that you cut out!!! They say it's all to do with self-control but how can anyone do that with all those delicious looking food ads on tv, and on the street and window shop displays? Man, I don't blame you, I am getting hungry just thinking about it! But why can't you eat sushi, and noodles, and salmon and even fried chicken? These sound HEALTHY!
I say, dodge around it as in, start counting Caesar Salad as one of those meals. I mean, it is a salad after all... And sushi does look like a "modernised" version of a salad, so I guess that counts as a meal also.
Seriously though, you're doing great, keep at it, I need that motivation + inspiration too!!!
And sorry for the essay >.<

Heckety said...

More power to you- I couldn't! Its not that I LIKE chocolate it just seems to magnetically attach itself to my shopping basket whenever I'm doing the grocery shopping...very odd.
Still I guess its good for you going to the gym and that, I've never been to one so I wouldn't know but my bro enjoys it and goes a lot.

Margie said...

I hope you might get to treat yourself with something yummy this weekend!
It's ok to do that, once in a while!

Keep working out, you will see results!

All my best to you!


Anonymous said...

Good job so far- don't give up!

I'm just starting out on the healthy track again after a too-long period of bad food choices and no exercise. It always is tough at the beginning, but it gets easier.

Fatima makes a good point though- just cutting everything out completely that is bad is like trying to do the Atkins diet: as soon as you get a taste of carbs again, you lose your mind and go for broke. I've found that it's easier to substitute than to just cut out. I'm a sweet fanatic, so I switched to sugar free stuff, which isn't half bad and is enough to curb the cravings.

You should be proud of yourself for how much you've done so far :)

MarjnHomer said...

at least you have someone who is on your team for weight loss and she's helpin you stay on track. my hubby just piles it on the plate and that helps with nothing when it comes to losing weight. food=love to him i guess

Neelam said...

i think i need to get my mother to force me to diet as well because i can't find the motivation myself!! x

Madame Lefty said...

Honey, I agree with Fatima. If you stop eating salads, but continue exercising you will gain some of the weight back, which will discourage you.

Take it from someone who knows.

I found what worked best for me was to cut out all fast food, soda, junk food in general. I know people will tell you no carbs, no this, no that, but restricting your diet that much isn't the way to do it. It's about better choices. Like the pear instead of the hershey's chocolate bar.


Best of luck to you, girly.

And yes, gah, I can't believe how some celebs just say, "I don't eat." And they get away with it! Try saying, "I eat like a pig!" I doubt you'll get the same reaction.

Youthful Wisdom said...

You are NOT fat!! Don't diet just eat healthy...smaller portions and more fruits, veggies, and water! I started doing the Jillian Micheal's 30 Day Shred Work Out... I love it ... try it! I had driving out to the gym... I get lazy and think to myself whatever I don't wanna drive.

Falling Up said...

you're so skinny!!
But if it's belly fat, oatmeal helps, so I'm told.

Chuckle said...

weny williams looks like a drag queen. i love ellen! and you're not fat. i wish a gym was right by my house.

my mom made me a salad sandwich the other day. all it was was lettuce and some mayonnaise with bread. it tasted real good. you should try it.

Madame Lefty said...

I came to see if you commented and saw that a lot of people told you that you were not fat.

You have the same issue I do, I bet. Very self-critical.

I'm half tempted to show you a picture of real "fat me".

But if they're right and you're not the huge belly beast you think you are (or made yourself to be in your entry), then you just have to exercise and eat healthy. I won't say love yourself, because I'd be a hypocrite if I did, but that works too. (Though I could work on that too!)

humie said...

Unlike other people who have seen you or know you, I can't say that you're not fat. not because you are, but b/c we've never met.
But I will say this, eating healthy is not a temporary thing, but its a life style one has to choose. I personally love salads and fruit but if you don't like them then i suggest that you try to eat them before your daily meals, because if you eat them before them you won't be hungry enough to eat all the other fatty foods. As far as the gym is concerned, i've never been. But i go running around the neighborhood and trust me, i can totally relate to wearing so many layers. Especially over the summer when everyone in my neighborhood is wearing shorts and a t-shirt and I, the only hijabi is wearing sweats. Yeah its creepy, for them at least. But again exercising should also be a part of your life style. I don't know where you go to school but if its university or even if you go to high school, try walking home from school every now and then on a nice day. Ever since i've gone to college, i walk around the city with my huge backpack and that's a work out in itself. hehe

Little T said...

I am the worst when someone tells me I CAN'T do something. A slow change works best for me. It's all a Jedi mind trick to convince yourself that you love working out. I know it sounds crazy but eventually you find yourself excited about it. Give it a try!