Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Mrs. Cullen: The Blah

Dear Friends,

I'm so blah. I've been so busy the last year and all of a sudden I have nothing to do. NOTHING AT FREAKING ALL. And it really sucks. I had this exam yesterday. And its over. And now I have nothing to do. Everyone is back to school/work but I start my break now. And I want to have fun. But no one wants to have fun with me. My sister was supposed to be here for the week. But something came up. And she had to leave today. She only stayed for two days!! And both of those days I was studying. Sigh. I'm really depressed that she left. We had made so many plans for the week. Sigh. And I wanted to go home with her (she goes to school in New York) but that didn't work out. Blah. I'm just so blah. And my only friend in this world is on vacation in some stupid state. Sigh. I was so excited to be free because I wanted to do all these things. But I have nothing to do. And it sucks. I wish I was busy again. I wish my exam was next month so I could be studying.

I hate being not-busy because of a couple of reasons. 1. Its boring 2. It gets me thinking 3. It gets me thinking and I become worried about things/emo. 4. Its boring. I really have nothing else to say. There is a lot I want to do. But I hate doing things alone. I wish I was independent. I wish I could go shopping by myself. I wish I could go to the movies by myself!!! And get a haircut by myself. I can't even drive to school without calling someone. Sigh. I need to become independent. I think I'm going to buy Harry Potter 6 and watch it by myself today. Sigh. Or I think I'll watch Avatar on my computer (illegally). Sigh. Basically I'm just emotional.


On a positive note, I've started working out!!! I hope I keep up with the "work-out plan" my 15 year old cousin created for me. Hes so buff! I don't want to become buff (ew). I just want to lose weight. I'M SO FAT. So hopefully that'll work-out for me (pun intended). Oh I'm not working out because its the New Year and this is some stupid resolution that I made. Those are made with the intention of breaking. I just feel that I'm overweight. So I need to work out. I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. They are lame. Although I did decide to cut some habits. But not because of the New Year! Ever since CA wrote her post about trust, it got me really paranoid (more than I already am). So I decided I really need to watch what I say. Not just because I'm afraid someone will tell my secret, but also because I don't want to get jinxed for whatever reason. Ok I'm gonna go wallow in self-pity. Just kidding....maybe.

Anyway, if you are like me. Read this. And try not to be emo. Emo is so not the new black.

Yours for the Sake of Peace and Sisterhood,
Mrs. Cullen

10 comments:

Madame Lefty said...

I FEEL YOU on the weight thing. Funny enough, I was about to post an entry on that soon.

Snake Charmer said...

take this time to reconnect with mrs. cullen. go to a spa, do yoga, dance in the dark ;), find happiness within and you will never need anyone- ever..but they are fun to play with :)

MarjnHomer said...

I was in your state today, then I cried and took a nap and now feel tons better. just keep crying and prayin to Allah to forgive you and inshallah you'll feel loads better

Mrs. Cullen said...

crying makes me feel so much better!!!!!!! i love crying!!

Constructive Attitude said...

yai.iiswysywswdyhmakfl

Mutmainnah said...

This is so funnily/sad. So you tell me not to pity you, and you're wallowing in your self pity? Pathetic. No I'm just kidding you're not pathetic. You're just bored. When I get bored I start reading the HP books, and then get lost in them, but to be honest I don't really like the first 2 books too much they were sooo like boring.

And wait you're done? I thought after this semester you'd be done? Hmm.

And the workout thing with the New Years, yeah well I made one, and I'm gonna prove you wrong by not breaking it!

foxy said...

I get the blahs too every once in a while. So you're not alone...

Maybe you can find a good book to immerse yourself in? Or, yeah, a good movie. Whatever you do, try to enjoy this moment of having nothing to do... one day in the future you will look back and yearn for it.

Mrs. Cullen said...

I'm reading the Time Travellers Wife!

Little T said...

I agree with the book or movie idea. Also organizing, painting or anything that shows you your accomplishment at the end are all good things to try. Chin up, Mrs. Cullen. This too shall pass.

provoking invoking said...

i WISH i was bored. i want to scream at the top of my lungs cause i have so much to do and my family that supposedly is supposed to care about me gets in the way of everything and i'm so frustrated there's no way i can get all my work done. i want everything to stop. /rant (i dont feel better after typing this, i suppose i need duas)