Friday, June 3, 2011

My family is We-ird

EVERYONE has embarrassing things happen to them. And at least half of those embarrassments are caused by your parents. If you're one of those people that have parents that "never embarrass" you, well, CONGRATULATIONS! You are pretty much NON-existent.

How does near extinction feel? You're about as rare as Donald Trump's comb's chances of winning the Presidential election. Actually no, I take that back, his comb is pretty popular.

Anyways, my dad has a hearing problem. No, I mean an actual one, not the one where he used to pretend to be deaf when my mom or I ever started asking questions he didn't feel like asking.

And he's pretty much tried everything, and is still trying everything, cuz hearing aids aren't doing the job.

I'm sitting in my room, reading my notes, right next to the bedroom window, and I hear something that makes me reeeeeeeeeel in horror!!

NO it wasn't that crawling of that stupid spider that has been haunting my bedroom corners that I can never seem to fish out and kill.

IT WAS A VOICE. AND it was SINGING . ANDDD it was coming from OUTSIDE!
And it was singing some Indian song that has probably been buried for centuries and for some reason was unearthed.

I'm staring outside the window
Oh God, please tell me that's not my dad. That can't be my dad. Even he wouldn't sing at the top of his voice in front of the neighborhood. No one would do that. NO ONE.

I don't see anything. I don't see my dad. I don't see anything. Just a car in the driveway.
Maybe it's the radio? Yes, that's it, it has to be the radio!! That's like a 1 on the embarrassment scale. That's nothing!

No, but that voice, very suspiciously sounds like my Dad. And OH MY GOD THERE GO OUR NEIGHBORS. OHH MYY GODD THEY'RE STARING AT OUR HOUSE

I run downstairs. I'm yelling at my brother.

"Where is dad?!! WHERE IS DAD?!!!!!"

And then, the voice gets louder. And yes, by this point, it sounded like someone was screaming jibberish in an enthusiastic, happy, chime. And yes, I ran to the front window.

And yes, it was my Dad, working his way out of the car and for some really, really inescapable reason, singing with his lungs.

WHY DAD?! WHYYY ARE YOU DOING THIS!!!

I start banging at the window.

"DADDD!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD STOP!"

Oh yes, but he can't hear me. He keep singing. And there are another two people across the street, repeatedly glancing and then staring at my Dad.
And he is of course, oblivious to it all, to the people staring at him across the street, and probably his neighbors peaking out from their windows, to his daughter banging on the front window like a mad woman.

He comes inside. And I just stare at him.

"WHYYYYYYY were you singing so loudly outside??!!!!"
"I heard that singing loudly opens up your ears and improves your hearing"
"Yes, but why would you sing so loudly outside. People were staring!"
"Please CC, nobody was staring, it was not loud at all. Stop beings so dramatic"
"Why wouldn't someone sing INSIDE the house! Who would sing outside?! For the neighborhood!!"

And my Dad walked away singing.

For an experience that lasted a few minutes, it sure felt like it would never end.

9 comments:

Sabirah said...

Haha...I've had some experiences like that. We were the only desi family on a street of mostly Jewish-Americans. There were many moments growing up that I can remember odd looks from neighbors at my family members.

Constructive Attitude said...

i can picture this wholeeeeee scene in my head. hahaha

p.s. does singing loudly really improve your hearing though?

supreem said...

LOL HILARIOUS!

controlled chaos said...

CA- I have noooo idea. I feel bad for him but honestly...that did not help nobody.

Richa said...

Bwahahahaha!

Super LOL-ing happening.

I always tell my dad to try singing in his own voice rather than Lata Mangeshkars. :D

and no matter how much I try to train him a simple Bhangra step to save me embarrassment on the dance floor, his *has* to do his own weird twist+bhangra.

Nevertheless, he is THE best dad :D

Artistic Logic said...

hahah i love how he said stop being dramatic

Mrs. Cullen said...

drama queen

controlled chaos said...

Sabirah- i feel like we get those odd looks regardless...But this was a new story all on its own.

Richa- Indian dads...one of a kind.
Supreem- insert appropriate response to a compliment

AL and MC- um okay.

Little Auntie said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

:P