I can’t remember who my childhood hero was. I am pretty sure it was one of the power rangers. I was a big fan. And then as I grew a little older I thought my sister was the coolest person. And then it was my dad. Now…I don’t know. I am still my dad’s no. 1 fan.

But here and there you find a few people who you think are so cool. Or maybe not that cool, but they do have some amazing traits or abilities. I go through phases where I think so-and-so is so cool and I wish I could do this-or-that like him/her.

There is one person who I always thought was so cool. We didn’t always get along, but still, there was something about her that I adored. I liked how she is very smart, simple and not a follower. She has her own style. And I don’t mean clothing style (but that too). I just mean everything about her. The way she carried herself. And the things she did or did not do.

And its odd because I don’t get along with this person at all. I guess you can say we are not friends—by choice. Yet, I still admire her. Is that odd?

Anyway, recently I heard she stopped doing the things that she always stood up for. And it made me so sad. I think of myself as a weak, quitter and I hate when other people quit something that they once felt so strongly about. It’s kept me so bummed out for weeks. But I think I learned something from this. I think I need to stop living my dreams through other people. I think I can try to be the person that I always wanted her to be, inshallah.