"So how he is in bed? I mean relatively speaking...in comparisons to your exes."
"Actually, my husband was my first."
"WHAT?? Get outta here. How old are you?"
"22"
"Wow. That must have been liberating...long time waiting, huh?"
Surprisingly, for most females my chastity comes as a shocker. Apparently its a liberating experience to have sex; and even more liberating to have it casually just like men because at that point we're like equal genders. Right?
I mentor a bunch of high school girls in my community. We'll sit in my car and talk about their boy problems and how the guy they're talking to/texting/hanging out with is different. And to every single one of these girls I say the same line.
Boys just want to get in your panties.
Really, I have a husband. I now know the male perspective all too well. And for some reasons many girls just don't buy it. Here's my take on it.
Boys want sex. Why? Because they have a build up of pressure and the release of an orgasm feels amazing. (Really amazing, actually)
Okay so now that they know they need sex what's next? Find a vagina to stick it in, preferably one that has legs. The finding part is usually really easy because girls nowadays are a) throwing themselves at guys like sex objects with their miniskirts, outrageous cleavage, and booty popping skills or b) wanting to be 'liberated' so are open to having casual sex for the pleasure.
Sex is more than just a physical release. Its more than just a one night fling. Its a beautiful experience of two people being as close as possible to each other, physically and hopefully emotionally too. In my humble opinion, girls that give themselves up are just vaginas boys are hoping to find.
I never wanted to be just a vagina. There's a lot more that comes with this package. I wanted my man to need more than whats in my panties. I wanted him to need me. And so came the Hubster who had to put in a LOT of effort to even come close to having sex with me. He had to pull his life together, know his purpose, foster a deep relationship with me, and finally, seal the deal with a ring and signature.
The Hubster sarcastically asked me the other day, "You think I really need you??"
"Absolutely."
"I think so too."
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Gobble Gobble
Its that time of year again.
When everyone goes home, spends time with family, eats turkey and stuffing, and thinks about the things they're grateful for.
Sounds all beautiful and flowery.
But there's a group of people in our country who don't join us in this turkey/gratitude celebration. Instead these people mourn this day as it commemorates the genocide of thousands of their ancestors.
The Native Americans.
The people who were here first living a peaceful life until the pilgrims came and exploited them then wrote down in history how amazing their relationship was and how everyone sat together on a long table on Thanksgiving and ate food they grew together.
So this Thursday, while we're eating our turkeys, lets think back and make a prayer for the amazing Native Americans who were massacred unjustly in our early history.
When everyone goes home, spends time with family, eats turkey and stuffing, and thinks about the things they're grateful for.
Sounds all beautiful and flowery.
But there's a group of people in our country who don't join us in this turkey/gratitude celebration. Instead these people mourn this day as it commemorates the genocide of thousands of their ancestors.
The Native Americans.
The people who were here first living a peaceful life until the pilgrims came and exploited them then wrote down in history how amazing their relationship was and how everyone sat together on a long table on Thanksgiving and ate food they grew together.
So this Thursday, while we're eating our turkeys, lets think back and make a prayer for the amazing Native Americans who were massacred unjustly in our early history.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
It is as the tag says
So like the world is a happy place.
Or a really horrible, depressing place.
That's nice.
I have no idea where I'm going with that.
.......um.....yeah I still have no idea where I was going with that.
Regardless, I seriously feel like I have NO idea what is going on with the world anymore or my friends. I just feel like I'm existing for the sake of a school that has taken over my life and all I want to do is run away and watch subtitled asian tv shows (when I say asian- I'm referring to korean, japanese etc).
Why subtitled Asian shows you ask?
I have no idea. Probably because they speak a language I've never had any interaction with, in places I've never heard much about other than the occasional news and "Made in" blank tags on my latest electronic device.
My lack of dedication to studying is astounding. But my increasing need to fight it in this phase of my life was even more astounding.
WAS...because I realize I can't fight it anymore or I'm seriously going to fail and never have a life one way or another.
And EVERY TIME I think I'm doing so much better I talk to two other students and take my exam and realize that there is seriously either something wrong with me or there is something really wrong with this school.
I'm having a hard time becoming accustomed to the concept of a constant commitment to studying. I really, really am. And I'm not asking for sympathy or pity because I'm pretty sure most of you would rather slap a person whining about that. And don't call me a whiner ...I hate that.
Anyways, I've been thinking about re-vamping (and not the Edward Cullen kind) this blog for sometime and I can't figure out what to do.
Oh and I heard Harry Potter's latest movie is hella awesome ( I don't normally use hella ..but my Californian friend does and it's kinda catchy after sometime...even if it's abnormally grammatically incorrect)
And Muslims celebrated their second Eid this past ...I think Wednesday...welll at least most of them did.
And that one goes back to the tradition of God telling Prophet Abraham (Peace be upon him) to sacrifice his son and upon seeing Prophet Abraham's willingness to do so, basically switched up his son with a sheep. And the sheep was sacrificed instead.
And so we all kinda follow in those footsteps....sacrificing a sheep part, not the human part obviously cuz I think it's pretty obvious from that story as well that God would never want you to 'sacrifice' someone else for His sake.
And the meat is supposed to be distributed to the poor most importantly, then family and friends or whoever.
All I know is that every time around this Eid we have our extra box freezer and our refrigerator packed with meat(every time the door bell rings, I can't help but pray that it's not someone dropping off meat) and all of a sudden we have a lot of meat that needs to be cooked and eaten...and I'm not a big meat person.
So I struggle with that.
And sorry to any vegetarian getting grossed by that...it's like having someone write an entire post just saying poop, poop, poop. Even though they are on two opposite sides of the digestive system.
To be honest I'm not as easily grossed out anymore, in this past three months, I have touched poop, smelled poop, felt poop plenty of times inside people's intestines, carried a brain and watched it fall apart in my hands, been splattered by human body fat and juices, watch skin peel off human bodies, got splattered again, broke bones, heard bones break, heard the swish of fat and juice, sawed a skull in half, watched green poop come out of some one's anal canal, dissected a cow eye.
WAIT THERE'S MORE
I watched people walk around with human eyes in their hands, got splattered by bone shreds, helped dissect a penis in half, even touched a penis a couple of times (this is from a person that never even said the word penis) smelled some of the most disgusting smell's of my life, had some human body part stuck to my shoe and/or hand, dropped my pencil in body juices and carried around a sticky pencil during an exam, had my hand inside a rectum couple of times (what your poop is in) and carried around a stench that just doesn't come out no matter what you do.
Yep, life doesn't get cooler than that...and that wasn't even everything.
Or a really horrible, depressing place.
That's nice.
I have no idea where I'm going with that.
.......um.....yeah I still have no idea where I was going with that.
Regardless, I seriously feel like I have NO idea what is going on with the world anymore or my friends. I just feel like I'm existing for the sake of a school that has taken over my life and all I want to do is run away and watch subtitled asian tv shows (when I say asian- I'm referring to korean, japanese etc).
Why subtitled Asian shows you ask?
I have no idea. Probably because they speak a language I've never had any interaction with, in places I've never heard much about other than the occasional news and "Made in" blank tags on my latest electronic device.
My lack of dedication to studying is astounding. But my increasing need to fight it in this phase of my life was even more astounding.
WAS...because I realize I can't fight it anymore or I'm seriously going to fail and never have a life one way or another.
And EVERY TIME I think I'm doing so much better I talk to two other students and take my exam and realize that there is seriously either something wrong with me or there is something really wrong with this school.
I'm having a hard time becoming accustomed to the concept of a constant commitment to studying. I really, really am. And I'm not asking for sympathy or pity because I'm pretty sure most of you would rather slap a person whining about that. And don't call me a whiner ...I hate that.
Anyways, I've been thinking about re-vamping (and not the Edward Cullen kind) this blog for sometime and I can't figure out what to do.
Oh and I heard Harry Potter's latest movie is hella awesome ( I don't normally use hella ..but my Californian friend does and it's kinda catchy after sometime...even if it's abnormally grammatically incorrect)
And Muslims celebrated their second Eid this past ...I think Wednesday...welll at least most of them did.
And that one goes back to the tradition of God telling Prophet Abraham (Peace be upon him) to sacrifice his son and upon seeing Prophet Abraham's willingness to do so, basically switched up his son with a sheep. And the sheep was sacrificed instead.
And so we all kinda follow in those footsteps....sacrificing a sheep part, not the human part obviously cuz I think it's pretty obvious from that story as well that God would never want you to 'sacrifice' someone else for His sake.
And the meat is supposed to be distributed to the poor most importantly, then family and friends or whoever.
All I know is that every time around this Eid we have our extra box freezer and our refrigerator packed with meat(every time the door bell rings, I can't help but pray that it's not someone dropping off meat) and all of a sudden we have a lot of meat that needs to be cooked and eaten...and I'm not a big meat person.
So I struggle with that.
And sorry to any vegetarian getting grossed by that...it's like having someone write an entire post just saying poop, poop, poop. Even though they are on two opposite sides of the digestive system.
To be honest I'm not as easily grossed out anymore, in this past three months, I have touched poop, smelled poop, felt poop plenty of times inside people's intestines, carried a brain and watched it fall apart in my hands, been splattered by human body fat and juices, watch skin peel off human bodies, got splattered again, broke bones, heard bones break, heard the swish of fat and juice, sawed a skull in half, watched green poop come out of some one's anal canal, dissected a cow eye.
WAIT THERE'S MORE
I watched people walk around with human eyes in their hands, got splattered by bone shreds, helped dissect a penis in half, even touched a penis a couple of times (this is from a person that never even said the word penis) smelled some of the most disgusting smell's of my life, had some human body part stuck to my shoe and/or hand, dropped my pencil in body juices and carried around a sticky pencil during an exam, had my hand inside a rectum couple of times (what your poop is in) and carried around a stench that just doesn't come out no matter what you do.
Yep, life doesn't get cooler than that...and that wasn't even everything.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Happy Eid
HAPPY (belated) EID EVERYONE!
Hope everyone had a wonderful celebration and ate tons of delicious food!
=D
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Mrs. Cullen is Fasting
Dear Friends,
Muslims don’t only fast during Ramadan. There are many times throughout the year that we are encouraged to fast. (Ramadan is the only time it is required to fast.) Next week it will be a special day for us, a holiday, known as Eid. Eid is twice during the lunar calendar; once after Ramadan and then two months and ten days after that Eid. When we were kids we used to call them Big Eid and Little Eid. Haha. Sigh. I miss being a kid. Things were so simple.
Anyway, those last ten days are when many Muslims go for pilgrimage, Hajj. It’s a requirement to go for pilgrimage once in your lifetime, if you can afford it and are physically able to do so.
Anyway. While 2-3 million Muslims have gone for pilgrimage, it is encouraged that we, who are at home, fast those 10 days. It is also encouraged for us to spend these ten days doing extra good deeds like giving charity, being kind to your parents, etc.
So, I’ve been fasting the last few days and it’s been really nice, thank God. The days are really, really short. The sun sets around 5:45 pm (where I live) and that’s when I break my fast and eat!
I am really enjoying these fasts. It makes me feel good and its been helping me a lot with control. I spend a lot of days eating away, watching TV and surfing the Internet. But when I fast, I try to make the most of my day and try to avoid wasting my time. So, it makes me feel very productive, which makes me happy. Sigh. And I like being happy. The biggest thing I get from fasting is learning control. I have issues with eating. I’m basically in love with it. And fasting teaches me to appreciate the food I have and to consume it in a healthy manner and portion.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll ever completely learn how to control my love for food so the only thing I can do is fast frequently. But I don’t mind that....
Muslims don’t only fast during Ramadan. There are many times throughout the year that we are encouraged to fast. (Ramadan is the only time it is required to fast.) Next week it will be a special day for us, a holiday, known as Eid. Eid is twice during the lunar calendar; once after Ramadan and then two months and ten days after that Eid. When we were kids we used to call them Big Eid and Little Eid. Haha. Sigh. I miss being a kid. Things were so simple.
Anyway, those last ten days are when many Muslims go for pilgrimage, Hajj. It’s a requirement to go for pilgrimage once in your lifetime, if you can afford it and are physically able to do so.
Anyway. While 2-3 million Muslims have gone for pilgrimage, it is encouraged that we, who are at home, fast those 10 days. It is also encouraged for us to spend these ten days doing extra good deeds like giving charity, being kind to your parents, etc.
So, I’ve been fasting the last few days and it’s been really nice, thank God. The days are really, really short. The sun sets around 5:45 pm (where I live) and that’s when I break my fast and eat!
I am really enjoying these fasts. It makes me feel good and its been helping me a lot with control. I spend a lot of days eating away, watching TV and surfing the Internet. But when I fast, I try to make the most of my day and try to avoid wasting my time. So, it makes me feel very productive, which makes me happy. Sigh. And I like being happy. The biggest thing I get from fasting is learning control. I have issues with eating. I’m basically in love with it. And fasting teaches me to appreciate the food I have and to consume it in a healthy manner and portion.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll ever completely learn how to control my love for food so the only thing I can do is fast frequently. But I don’t mind that....
Monday, November 8, 2010
Sometimes I really think the world is going to hell...
...particularly when I watch/listen/hear/read about things in the news.
When I was in junior high, I used to be obsessed with the weather. Like, I really needed to know whether it was going to be cold, hot, rainy, snowy, foggy, or humid outside the following day. This obsession followed me into high school, and eventually stopped in 11th grade.
The only way I was able to find out what the weather was going to be like the next day was via the 10 o'clock news.
Pre-internet days, people. Get with it.
So the weather man wouldn't come on until exactly 10:30 and so I would have to watch 30 minutes of the news. This is how I kept up with current events.
Eventually when my obsession with the weather subsided, so did my knowledge of things that were happening in the world in which I resided.
I didnt know what was going on in the world for the past 8 years. No joke.
Fast forward a couple of years and enter: facebook.
Facebook, if used with good intentions can actually be resourceful. For real. I started noticing a lot of people updating their status about various things that were happening in the city, state, country, and world. So I started catching myself up with the latest buzz. And in the midst of catching up with current events, I also came back to the realization of why I stopped watching the news.
In retrospect, there never seems to be good news. Why dont people report on happy things? I mean I know they do, but some days it just seems like there is no good news. It's like you have to dig realllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy deep to find something. Anything. That will make you smile. Or laugh. And if there is good news to be shared, it's always twisted into something that it totally wasn't supposed to be twisted into. Michelle Obama dancing with orphans and kids in India becomes a dance that supports the "axis of evil". Whatever the hell that means. ( This really didnt happen, but you know what I mean)
Some days I really do think the world and it's inhabitants are just far from where we should be, and some days I just rather stay in the dark about it.
But then there are other things that make me think living in this world, aint so bad. Like when I see non-Muslims, like Kate, defending Muslims and Islam. Or like when I see a student's Mom writing encouraging notes to their kids and putting it into their lunchbags.
Or like when I watch the Daily show with Jon Stewart and see how ridiculous the media makes things out to be.
Or like when I hear crazy stories from my sister's new nursing job. Or when I get a phone call from a friend and we talk about the most pointless things in the world. Or when my kids genuinely find my "Knock Knock" jokes amusing. Or when my mom wakes up in the wee hours of the morning and bids me farewell while I walk out to my car, in the dark. Or when I laugh about the most dumbest and randomest things with my siblings. Or knowing that one of my sisters is learning how to play the violin. Or seeing parents involved in their child's education.
Or attending a teacher conference and hearing the famous author, Mitch Albom, give a speech about having a little faith that can take you a long way.
Or knowing that I'm a teacher, and at least one of my students is learning something. Or like watching the show, School Pride, the school version of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and seeing how much people truly care about education in America, and being effective about it.
Or (minus the most recent episode----another story for another time), watching people actively defend and protect and fight for strangers on the show "What would you Do?"
And so on and so forth.
So yeah, on certain days, the world does suck, but you just gotta take the good with the bad.
And hope that some day the good will outweigh the bad and pray that the world really doesn't go to hell.
And maybe not watch the news so much.
When I was in junior high, I used to be obsessed with the weather. Like, I really needed to know whether it was going to be cold, hot, rainy, snowy, foggy, or humid outside the following day. This obsession followed me into high school, and eventually stopped in 11th grade.
The only way I was able to find out what the weather was going to be like the next day was via the 10 o'clock news.
Pre-internet days, people. Get with it.
So the weather man wouldn't come on until exactly 10:30 and so I would have to watch 30 minutes of the news. This is how I kept up with current events.
Eventually when my obsession with the weather subsided, so did my knowledge of things that were happening in the world in which I resided.
I didnt know what was going on in the world for the past 8 years. No joke.
Fast forward a couple of years and enter: facebook.
Facebook, if used with good intentions can actually be resourceful. For real. I started noticing a lot of people updating their status about various things that were happening in the city, state, country, and world. So I started catching myself up with the latest buzz. And in the midst of catching up with current events, I also came back to the realization of why I stopped watching the news.
In retrospect, there never seems to be good news. Why dont people report on happy things? I mean I know they do, but some days it just seems like there is no good news. It's like you have to dig realllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy deep to find something. Anything. That will make you smile. Or laugh. And if there is good news to be shared, it's always twisted into something that it totally wasn't supposed to be twisted into. Michelle Obama dancing with orphans and kids in India becomes a dance that supports the "axis of evil". Whatever the hell that means. ( This really didnt happen, but you know what I mean)
Some days I really do think the world and it's inhabitants are just far from where we should be, and some days I just rather stay in the dark about it.
But then there are other things that make me think living in this world, aint so bad. Like when I see non-Muslims, like Kate, defending Muslims and Islam. Or like when I see a student's Mom writing encouraging notes to their kids and putting it into their lunchbags.
Or like when I watch the Daily show with Jon Stewart and see how ridiculous the media makes things out to be.
Or like when I hear crazy stories from my sister's new nursing job. Or when I get a phone call from a friend and we talk about the most pointless things in the world. Or when my kids genuinely find my "Knock Knock" jokes amusing. Or when my mom wakes up in the wee hours of the morning and bids me farewell while I walk out to my car, in the dark. Or when I laugh about the most dumbest and randomest things with my siblings. Or knowing that one of my sisters is learning how to play the violin. Or seeing parents involved in their child's education.
Or attending a teacher conference and hearing the famous author, Mitch Albom, give a speech about having a little faith that can take you a long way.
Or knowing that I'm a teacher, and at least one of my students is learning something. Or like watching the show, School Pride, the school version of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and seeing how much people truly care about education in America, and being effective about it.
Or (minus the most recent episode----another story for another time), watching people actively defend and protect and fight for strangers on the show "What would you Do?"
And so on and so forth.
So yeah, on certain days, the world does suck, but you just gotta take the good with the bad.
And hope that some day the good will outweigh the bad and pray that the world really doesn't go to hell.
And maybe not watch the news so much.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Surprise!
The story goes a little something like this.
I'm sitting in the den, minding my own business, watching random youtube videos on the Hubster's macbook as usual. (My laptop is crappy and takes 10 minutes just to load up) I had a bunch of tabs open and what not. Then I hear someone rustling in the kitchen then starting walking up the stairs.
Lo and behold it was the Hubster. He comes right into the den, closes all my tabs and shuts the laptop.
"What the heck! I was doing stuff yo!"
"Yea but its MY laptop. So I can do whatever I want with it."
"Excuse me? You just closed everything I was looking at!!"
"So? Its mine. I own it. Just like I own you." He has the most serious look ever at this point
"WHAT? Are you serious? I'm not your property homie. What's wrong with you?"
"Go get me some juice." He walks off and lays down in the bedroom
I of course storm into the bedroom super mad. "Get you some juice?? How dare you talk to me like that."
"Just go downstairs and get me some juice" Now he starts gesturing me to go away.
"Why are you treating me so crappy right now? Seriously." Then I walked downstairs to the kitchen even though I really just wanted to beat the Hubster.
Upon entering the kitchen I saw this big white box on the table.
Hmm... weird. What's this?
I pick up the box and start turning it looking for a sticker or something that said what it was.
OMG.
On the side, very small and discreet, the box said "macbook."
"OMG OMG OMG!!!!"
The Hubster came down smiling. I opened the box and inside was a fresh beautiful brand new macbook!
"You are so annoying!! Thank you thank you thank you!!"
The end.
I'm sitting in the den, minding my own business, watching random youtube videos on the Hubster's macbook as usual. (My laptop is crappy and takes 10 minutes just to load up) I had a bunch of tabs open and what not. Then I hear someone rustling in the kitchen then starting walking up the stairs.
Lo and behold it was the Hubster. He comes right into the den, closes all my tabs and shuts the laptop.
"What the heck! I was doing stuff yo!"
"Yea but its MY laptop. So I can do whatever I want with it."
"Excuse me? You just closed everything I was looking at!!"
"So? Its mine. I own it. Just like I own you." He has the most serious look ever at this point
"WHAT? Are you serious? I'm not your property homie. What's wrong with you?"
"Go get me some juice." He walks off and lays down in the bedroom
I of course storm into the bedroom super mad. "Get you some juice?? How dare you talk to me like that."
"Just go downstairs and get me some juice" Now he starts gesturing me to go away.
"Why are you treating me so crappy right now? Seriously." Then I walked downstairs to the kitchen even though I really just wanted to beat the Hubster.
Upon entering the kitchen I saw this big white box on the table.
Hmm... weird. What's this?
I pick up the box and start turning it looking for a sticker or something that said what it was.
OMG.
On the side, very small and discreet, the box said "macbook."
"OMG OMG OMG!!!!"
The Hubster came down smiling. I opened the box and inside was a fresh beautiful brand new macbook!
"You are so annoying!! Thank you thank you thank you!!"
The end.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Former Tiger Manager Sparky Anderson dies, 76.
George Lee "Sparky" Anderson, legendary baseball manager of the Detroit Tigers dies at 76 from dementia complications.
http://www.freep.com/article/20101104/SPORTS02/101104060/1319/Tigers-legend-Sparky-Anderson-dies-at-76
http://www.wxyz.com/dpp/homepage_showcase/formers-tigers-manager-sparky-anderson-seriously-ill
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/05/sports/baseball/05anderson.html?_r=1&hp
Journalist
http://www.freep.com/article/20101104/SPORTS02/101104060/1319/Tigers-legend-Sparky-Anderson-dies-at-76
http://www.wxyz.com/dpp/homepage_showcase/formers-tigers-manager-sparky-anderson-seriously-ill
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/05/sports/baseball/05anderson.html?_r=1&hp
Journalist
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Babies
I'm not sure what to do with them. I don't hate them. In fact kids used to be my specialty when I was around 8-10 years old. I even liked scaring them, something controlled chaos never let's me or anyone else forget. I don't understood her fetich with the idea of it. Perhaps it's humorous imagining me scaring kids, looking like a fetus myself.
Throughout the years kids have progressively started to fear me. I'm talking about looking at me and bawling. Am I too cute or something??
Don't be silly. You can never be too cute.
I read somewhere that in cartoons they make the good guys look jolly and round and happy. So the good guys have softer features than the bad guys. And the bad guys are pointy kind of like Jafar from Aladdin.
My face is long and kind of pointy. Like Jafar.
So I'm used to kids backing up against the wall and screaming or crying when they look at me. I don't want to make the situation worse so I do what's best. I don't go crazy all over them. And I don't get how people gush over kids. I feel like a loser thinking about doing it. I'm turning red right now just thinking about it.
But the past few weeks have been different. At the mosque during prayer a baby crawled up next to me and screamed happily and then grabbed my arm. I froze. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS THING LATCHING ON TO MY ARM!? Since I'm not used to breaking out in baby talk I just smile and slowly take his hand like I want to and move it. Well that's what I woukd have attempted to do. Thank the Lord his little sister grabbed him away.
And then I ran into this other baby. Well, the baby's mom. She's my friend. And he was a happy baby who'd go to anyone. And he was all smiley and yayyyy towards me and so I pretended to be yayyy back lol. But then he didn't cry!!
I'm wondering why babies are all happy to see me now. It's weird. And different. So I decided to not be so indifferent toward them if they seem to like me.
Today a girl called me "Mama". Mama. She insisted my name was Mama.
And I look more pointy than ever. So I have no idea what happened or why babies are flocking to me. But I'll take it. You do realize how embarrassing it is when babies look at you and scream and start crying as soon as you hold them, don't you? My darling sister makes it worse by saying something like, "OMG FU what did you do to her?" and then everyone in the room gives you the death glare.
My life has changed. I live in a world where babies are no longer out to make me feel like a monster. I suppose I should accept this change and try to get to know them, too. But I won't make baby noises and be all up in their faces and try to eat their feet. That's just weird.
Throughout the years kids have progressively started to fear me. I'm talking about looking at me and bawling. Am I too cute or something??
Don't be silly. You can never be too cute.
I read somewhere that in cartoons they make the good guys look jolly and round and happy. So the good guys have softer features than the bad guys. And the bad guys are pointy kind of like Jafar from Aladdin.
My face is long and kind of pointy. Like Jafar.
So I'm used to kids backing up against the wall and screaming or crying when they look at me. I don't want to make the situation worse so I do what's best. I don't go crazy all over them. And I don't get how people gush over kids. I feel like a loser thinking about doing it. I'm turning red right now just thinking about it.
But the past few weeks have been different. At the mosque during prayer a baby crawled up next to me and screamed happily and then grabbed my arm. I froze. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS THING LATCHING ON TO MY ARM!? Since I'm not used to breaking out in baby talk I just smile and slowly take his hand like I want to and move it. Well that's what I woukd have attempted to do. Thank the Lord his little sister grabbed him away.
And then I ran into this other baby. Well, the baby's mom. She's my friend. And he was a happy baby who'd go to anyone. And he was all smiley and yayyyy towards me and so I pretended to be yayyy back lol. But then he didn't cry!!
I'm wondering why babies are all happy to see me now. It's weird. And different. So I decided to not be so indifferent toward them if they seem to like me.
Today a girl called me "Mama". Mama. She insisted my name was Mama.
And I look more pointy than ever. So I have no idea what happened or why babies are flocking to me. But I'll take it. You do realize how embarrassing it is when babies look at you and scream and start crying as soon as you hold them, don't you? My darling sister makes it worse by saying something like, "OMG FU what did you do to her?" and then everyone in the room gives you the death glare.
My life has changed. I live in a world where babies are no longer out to make me feel like a monster. I suppose I should accept this change and try to get to know them, too. But I won't make baby noises and be all up in their faces and try to eat their feet. That's just weird.
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