Friday, November 26, 2010

Why I Saved Myself

"So how he is in bed? I mean relatively comparisons to your exes."

"Actually, my husband was my first."

"WHAT?? Get outta here. How old are you?"


"Wow. That must have been liberating...long time waiting, huh?"

Surprisingly, for most females my chastity comes as a shocker. Apparently its a liberating experience to have sex; and even more liberating to have it casually just like men because at that point we're like equal genders. Right?

I mentor a bunch of high school girls in my community. We'll sit in my car and talk about their boy problems and how the guy they're talking to/texting/hanging out with is different. And to every single one of these girls I say the same line.

Boys just want to get in your panties. 

Really, I have a husband. I now know the male perspective all too well. And for some reasons many girls just don't buy it. Here's my take on it.

Boys want sex. Why? Because they have a build up of pressure and the release of an orgasm feels amazing. (Really amazing, actually)

Okay so now that they know they need sex what's next? Find a vagina to stick it in, preferably one that has legs. The finding part is usually really easy because girls nowadays are a) throwing themselves at guys like sex objects with their miniskirts, outrageous cleavage, and booty popping skills or b) wanting to be 'liberated' so are open to having casual sex for the pleasure.

Sex is more than just a physical release. Its more than just a one night fling. Its a beautiful experience of two people being as close as possible to each other, physically and hopefully emotionally too. In my humble opinion, girls that give themselves up are just vaginas boys are hoping to find.

I never wanted to be just a vagina. There's a lot more that comes with this package. I wanted my man to need more than whats in my panties. I wanted him to need me. And so came the Hubster who had to put in a LOT of effort to even come close to having sex with me. He had to pull his life together, know his purpose, foster a deep relationship with me, and finally, seal the deal with a ring and signature.

The Hubster sarcastically asked me the other day, "You think I really need you??"


"I think so too."


Little Auntie said...

GREAT post :)

C said...

Asalaamu alaikum

I totally agree. As a convert I can see the whole picture in a way that most non-muslims can't. Being like a slutty man = women's liberation is a crock. Most of women's so-called freedom caters to men.

Heckety said...

You keep telling girls that- some will listen, and be all the better for it. I totally agrre with everything you said here!

Jaz said...

"... casual sex just like guys".

I think men and women are equal, as muslims we know it's just as wrong for men to have premarital sex as it is for women. And I think men and women both enjoy sex. In no way do I think it's worse for a woman to have premarital sex than a man - only in terms that a girl can get pregnant so she has to take more care whereas sometimes guys just don't care and don't realise that pregnancy can be a result and that's just as wrong.

Youthful Wisdom said...

Jaz- Men and women are equal thus premarital sex is wrong for both. The point I'm trying to make is that in our American culture it is seen as normal for men to have casual sex and how many women want that norm for our gender as well. It doesn't make it okay to have premarital sex, its just the reality of our times.

Constructive Attitude said...

well you just lay it out there, dontcha?

MarjnHomer said...

lol i loved the last bit of it when you said you need me? i need you too..the 3 words my hubby says to that means a lot is "i miss you"

Anonymous said...

LOL at CA. hahahahahahahaahaha

Yeah, every time I read one of your posts, I'm like, "whaaaaaaaaaat? did she just write what I think she did?" Maybe cuz I always thought of you as the very reserved type [publicly I mean, obv not in front of us girls ;) ]

anyway, high 5 to saving yourself and mad props to girls and esp guys who save their self before marriage (cuz it is very hard for men to do that). I don't regret waiting one bit! alhamdulillah :)

Rumi said...

I already know who this is! haha.

I love how you're so blunt. I admire you sometimes. :D

EmptyWords said...

Hahahaa.... wow, topic was great but way too graphic, gurl

Anonymous said...


anyways i think its annoying when people say its harder for guys to save themselves etc....
its just as hard for both genders....

Anonymous said...

"why i saved myself"
well if this is the point then why did you saved your self for your husband. and why are you complaining now since you know he just want you for one thing only.
and what about you?
if you want it then where would you go? obviously not to your husband because he is an idiot in wanting you.
in the end its a stupid thing to share in this blog at least you should care for others feelings if you don't care for yours.

and i would wait to see when your husband would stop "needing" you and you would be asking for it or perhaps finding some ways for it.

be mature and think before you write something.