Saturday, November 20, 2010

It is as the tag says

So like the world is a happy place.

Or a really horrible, depressing place.

That's nice.

I have no idea where I'm going with that. I still have no idea where I was going with that.

Regardless, I seriously feel like I have NO idea what is going on with the world anymore or my friends. I just feel like I'm existing for the sake of a school that has taken over my life and all I want to do is run away and watch subtitled asian tv shows (when I say asian- I'm referring to korean, japanese etc).

Why subtitled Asian shows you ask?

I have no idea. Probably because they speak a language I've never had any interaction with, in places I've never heard much about other than the occasional news and "Made in" blank tags on my latest electronic device.

My lack of dedication to studying is astounding. But my increasing need to fight it in this phase of my life was even more astounding.

WAS...because I realize I can't fight it anymore or I'm seriously going to fail and never have a life one way or another.

And EVERY TIME I think I'm doing so much better I talk to two other students and take my exam and realize that there is seriously either something wrong with me or there is something really wrong with this school.

I'm having a hard time becoming accustomed to the concept of a constant commitment to studying. I really, really am. And I'm not asking for sympathy or pity because I'm pretty sure most of you would rather slap a person whining about that. And don't call me a whiner ...I hate that.

Anyways, I've been thinking about re-vamping (and not the Edward Cullen kind) this blog for sometime and I can't figure out what to do.

Oh and I heard Harry Potter's latest movie is hella awesome ( I don't normally use hella ..but my Californian friend does and it's kinda catchy after sometime...even if it's abnormally grammatically incorrect)

And Muslims celebrated their second Eid this past ...I think Wednesday...welll at least most of them did.

And that one goes back to the tradition of God telling Prophet Abraham (Peace be upon him) to sacrifice his son and upon seeing Prophet Abraham's willingness to do so, basically switched up his son with a sheep. And the sheep was sacrificed instead.

And so we all kinda follow in those footsteps....sacrificing a sheep part, not the human part obviously cuz I think it's pretty obvious from that story as well that God would never want you to 'sacrifice' someone else for His sake.

And the meat is supposed to be distributed to the poor most importantly, then family and friends or whoever.

All I know is that every time around this Eid we have our extra box freezer and our refrigerator packed with meat(every time the door bell rings, I can't help but pray that it's not someone dropping off meat) and all of a sudden we have a lot of meat that needs to be cooked and eaten...and I'm not a big meat person.

So I struggle with that.

And sorry to any vegetarian getting grossed by's like having someone write an entire post just saying poop, poop, poop. Even though they are on two opposite sides of the digestive system.

To be honest I'm not as easily grossed out anymore, in this past three months, I have touched poop, smelled poop, felt poop plenty of times inside people's intestines, carried a brain and watched it fall apart in my hands, been splattered by human body fat and juices, watch skin peel off human bodies, got splattered again, broke bones, heard bones break, heard the swish of fat and juice, sawed a skull in half, watched green poop come out of some one's anal canal, dissected a cow eye.


I watched people walk around with human eyes in their hands, got splattered by bone shreds, helped dissect a penis in half, even touched a penis a couple of times (this is from a person that never even said the word penis) smelled some of the most disgusting smell's of my life, had some human body part stuck to my shoe and/or hand, dropped my pencil in body juices and carried around a sticky pencil during an exam, had my hand inside a rectum couple of times (what your poop is in) and carried around a stench that just doesn't come out no matter what you do.

Yep, life doesn't get cooler than that...and that wasn't even everything.


Constructive Attitude said...

the days of subtitled asian shows seems so far away. like another lifetime ago.

and i dont like meat either. i love chicken.

PI said...

screw you guys i love my sheep, goat and lamb.. mmmmmmmm barbeque. fav holiday :)
too bad i have no time to enjoy and no time to distribute meat due to studying.

CC don't forget cut out a heart and turned it into a pop-up book.

at least u know someone else is in the same boat. i dont think i even knew the meaning of the word "study" until now. a little depressing.. worth it inthe long run.. see big picture...

EmptyWords said...

I agree... it sucks. A lot. I just laugh now... and my laughing slowly turns into crying. Sigh.

Mrs. Cullen said...

I'm a chicken person except qurbani meet. I love it so much.

And ew to the latter part of the post.

Sulthana said...

That sounds so gross. You're medical student I take it? I am glad I didn't take medicine :)

It will be over soon. And even if the worst happens, just think at least it gives you some blogging material ;)

Sabirah said...

I feel bad for medical students...and then when they're doctors...I wish I had gone for it! You make me feel like an underachiever. Insha'Allah, all of your hard work will pay off!

supreem said...

hahahahhaa!!1 I love this post, especially the ending. I'm not much of a meat eater. In fact, if it wasn't because muslims eat meat 24/7 i'd still be vegetarian. :x

I think you need to discover your skills/strengths, and utilize those to the best of your abilities. It'll take time. Maybe, you're a bit more hands on (as the end of your post indicates). But realize that no two people are exactly the same. So, never compare yourself to your classmates. You probably are stronger in areas they'll never be able to comprehend, and vice versa. Recognize that you have strengths and use them to your advantages. In fact, recognize your weaknesses, and think about how those weaknesses can be used to your advantage as well.
I trust in your abilities. If you made it so far, you'll make it even further! Don't give up!!! <3