I blame it on the kids in Humble, Texas

Me: "I think. I think. I think I want an apple"

Mom: "OH! Say bismillah maybe there's one left!"

Me: "Ummm....that's the randomest reason but okayyy...Bismillah. Oh sigh. This house is sad"

Mom: "This house isn't sad. Why are you talking like that? Be grateful"

Me: "No I mean the scavengers...aka my brothers won't even leave healthy food alone for anyone...Anyways, there's no apples"

Mom: "Oh I have one in my purse. One of the other teachers has an apple tree and gave me one"

Me: "Randomm...."

Mom: "You know what they say, be as humble as an apple tree, right?"

Me: "I've never heard of that"

Mom: "Cuz apple trees give so, so, so much fruit. It's amazing"

Me: "There is no saying about humbleness and apples"

Mom: "That's why in life, you should always learn to be humble"

Me: "You're doing that thing again where you're ignoring me. There's no such saying"

Mom: "Yeah it's amazing when you look at an apple tree that's bearing fruit. That saying comes to your mind. And it was such a famous saying..But is that how it goes? I can't remember how it goes exactly"

Me: "I'm just going to go back upstairs"

Mom: " Look up the saying for me and tell me how it goes exactly"

Me (five minutes later): "I looked it up. It doesn't show anything. Google showed something about some kids named Apple Tree kids who lived in Humble, Texas. But I doubt that's what you're talking about"

Mom: (doesn't hear me at all) " CC!! I thought you wanted the apple? Why aren't you eating it? You never eat anything healthy for you! And the one time you even bring it up you don't even eat it! You don't ever listen! And then you complain about your brothers! This house isn't sad. You're sad!!! "

Me: ...............