The Death Scare

I got the shivers as I watched Grey's Anatomy, a show on doctors and surgeons who do their jobs and intermingle with life.

Tonight's episode revolved around deaths.

I got the chills.

Although I've never watched a full episode of the show before, today I think I was meant to watch it.

My eyes were glued to the TV. My son was sprawled on my lap as he tried to fall asleep. My heart wept. I wept.

I turned off the TV, put my child to bed and went to pray Isha, the night prayer, or the last prayer of the day. I felt the presence of death. The reminder of having to one day pass away.

In a hadith, saying of the Prophet Muhammad, he said we should not wish for death. Be optimistic.

Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "None of you should wish for death. If he does good, he may increase in it, and if he does evil, he may turn in repentance." [Agreed upon. This is the version of al-Bukhari]

In another hadith, the Prophet said, death is one of those things we can wish for when we feel like we are not doing our best. To me that means, there are times we all wish for death (although we may not mean it). Again, be optimistic, and wish for the best.

Anas reported: "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'None of you should wish for death because of some harm which has befallen him. If he has got to do something, he should say, 'O Allah, make live if life is best for me and make me die if death is best for me." [Agreed upon].

Knowing time is short makes us want to do the best things in life - in just the right time. The Prophet said, the smartest people are those who prepare for death, and use this time wisely.

Today I felt my prayer was more bonding with God. We all need a good "death scare" to waken us up spiritually.

What do you think? Share your experiences!

To eat or not to eat?

My father-in-law went to the hospital a few days ago. He had just returned from a weeklong stay, 4-5 days prior. He was treated for anemia, possible pneumonia, and coronary heart disease. He came home yesterday after treatment for hyperklemia (high potassium), chronic kidney failure, anemia, gastritis, and other conditions.

He has diabetes, high blood pressure, hypertension, a pacemaker (he had several heart attacks). He takes nearly a dozen medications.

He's 80.

Usually when he gets home from his twice-a-year hospital stays, the family begin their lectures: don't eat unhealthy foods, drink more water, walk more. Sit up. Don't always sleep.

His diet is "kept under control" for 2-3 weeks after he returns from the hospital.
Then the complaining begins. He'll say he can't stand the food. No one cares about his feelings. He says, he is dying. He gives my mother-in-law a full-blast guilt trip. While my sister-in-law and I encourage her to ignore his bad food requests, he gives her the "You don't care about me, don't you?" speech.

In our culture it is understood if an old person wants to eat the way they want, their wishes are to be respected for they may not have long to live. In theory it is a beautiful treatment of our elders, while in reality it is a speedy way to get to death.

While the family repeatedly tell him to keep his health in check, it all goes away after a few weeks. They have their own health issues to worry about.

My mother-in-law gives us her own guilt trip. "You will understand someday..." she says, speaking of restrictions we may face in food eventually.

My brother-in-law is probably the only one who actively tries to keep his health in check in this home. It's hard in a house where food is loved and prepared with care. The tastier the food is, the happier spirits are. While some enjoy the food spicy, others cannot tolerate it. While some eat this, others rather eat that. It can be tough living with many people.

I have my own spicy-limit food tolerance. But I ignore it most of the time until my body shuts down. Having to prepare separate meals makes me anxious. Nervous.

Maybe my mother-in-law sees it the same for my father-in-law. Maybe it makes her uncomfortable to serve him "less tasty" food than the rest of the family." It almost seems as if he is being restricted from food altogether.

When we are allowed to eat something "better than him" we are reminded to keep it hush-hush.

Meanwhile the family will make their routine visits. Health tips will keep pouring in. People will go on with their lives. And so will he until his body cannot take it anymore. Once again. (God knows best).

May God give us the wisdom strength and perserverance to carry on.

Although Muslims and many others don't believe that December 25th was Jesus's true birthday, I thought I'd post story of Jesus's birth from the Chapter of Mary in the Qur'aan. I also posted a link below if you wanted to hear and read the entire chapter! The Arabic is quite soothing.

Happy Holidays! :)

Chapter of Mary: Verses 15-30.

وَاذْكُرْ فِي الْكِتَابِ مَرْيَمَ إِذِ انتَبَذَتْ مِنْ أَهْلِهَا مَكَانًا شَرْقِيًّا 

And remember, in the Book the story of Mary, when she withdrew from her family to a place toward the east.

فَاتَّخَذَتْ مِن دُونِهِمْ حِجَابًا فَأَرْسَلْنَا إِلَيْهَا رُوحَنَا فَتَمَثَّلَ لَهَا بَشَرًا سَوِيًّا 

And she took, in seclusion from them, a screen. Then We sent to her Our Angel, and he represented himself to her as a well-proportioned man.

قَالَتْ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِالرَّحْمَٰنِ مِنكَ إِن كُنتَ تَقِيًّا 

She said, “Indeed, I seek refuge in the Most Merciful from you, [so leave me], if you should be fearing of Allah .”

قَالَ إِنَّمَا أَنَا رَسُولُ رَبِّكِ لِأَهَبَ لَكِ غُلَامًا زَكِيًّا 

He said, “I am only the messenger of your Lord to give you [news of] a pure boy.”

قَالَتْ أَنَّىٰ يَكُونُ لِي غُلَامٌ وَلَمْ يَمْسَسْنِي بَشَرٌ وَلَمْ أَكُ بَغِيًّا 

She said, “How can I have a boy while no man has touched me and I have not been unchaste?”

قَالَ كَذَٰلِكِ قَالَ رَبُّكِ هُوَ عَلَيَّ هَيِّنٌ ۖ وَلِنَجْعَلَهُ آيَةً لِّلنَّاسِ وَرَحْمَةً مِّنَّا ۚ وَكَانَ أَمْرًا مَّقْضِيًّا 

He said, “Thus [it will be]; your Lord says, ‘It is easy for Me, and We will make him a sign to the people and a mercy from Us. And it is a matter [already] decreed.’ “

فَحَمَلَتْهُ فَانتَبَذَتْ بِهِ مَكَانًا قَصِيًّا 

So she conceived him, and she withdrew with him to a remote place.

فَأَجَاءَهَا الْمَخَاضُ إِلَىٰ جِذْعِ النَّخْلَةِ قَالَتْ يَا لَيْتَنِي مِتُّ قَبْلَ هَٰذَا وَكُنتُ نَسْيًا مَّنسِيًّا 

And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, “Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.”

فَنَادَاهَا مِن تَحْتِهَا أَلَّا تَحْزَنِي قَدْ جَعَلَ رَبُّكِ تَحْتَكِ سَرِيًّا 

But he called her from below her, “Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream.

وَهُزِّي إِلَيْكِ بِجِذْعِ النَّخْلَةِ تُسَاقِطْ عَلَيْكِ رُطَبًا جَنِيًّا 

And shake toward you the trunk of the palm tree; it will drop upon you ripe, fresh dates.

فَكُلِي وَاشْرَبِي وَقَرِّي عَيْنًا ۖ فَإِمَّا تَرَيِنَّ مِنَ الْبَشَرِ أَحَدًا فَقُولِي إِنِّي نَذَرْتُ لِلرَّحْمَٰنِ صَوْمًا فَلَنْ أُكَلِّمَ الْيَوْمَ إِنسِيًّا 

So eat and drink and be contented. And if you see from among humanity anyone, say, ‘Indeed, I have vowed to the Most Merciful abstention, so I will not speak today to [any] man.’ “

فَأَتَتْ بِهِ قَوْمَهَا تَحْمِلُهُ ۖ قَالُوا يَا مَرْيَمُ لَقَدْ جِئْتِ شَيْئًا فَرِيًّا 

Then she brought him to her people, carrying him. They said, “O Mary, you have certainly done a thing unprecedented.

يَا أُخْتَ هَارُونَ مَا كَانَ أَبُوكِ امْرَأَ سَوْءٍ وَمَا كَانَتْ أُمُّكِ بَغِيًّا 

O sister of Aaron, your father was not a man of evil, nor was your mother unchaste.”

فَأَشَارَتْ إِلَيْهِ ۖ قَالُوا كَيْفَ نُكَلِّمُ مَن كَانَ فِي الْمَهْدِ صَبِيًّا 

So she pointed to him. They said, “How can we speak to one who is in the cradle a child?”

قَالَ إِنِّي عَبْدُ اللَّهِ آتَانِيَ الْكِتَابَ وَجَعَلَنِي نَبِيًّا 

[Jesus] said, “Indeed, I am the servant of Allah . He has given me the Scripture and made me a prophet.

A real friend will laugh at/with you, when you tell them about the student who said that they wanted to kill you...

It's November. School has been in session for 51 days (always seems like much more then it really is). And I havent given you all one update from this school year. My apologies for that.

My new class annoys me. Or did in the beginning of the year. I'm getting used to them though, and missing my former students less and less. They've moved on. Forgotten my name. And have given all their love over to their second grade teacher. Whatevs to them. I dont care.

This year's class was proving to be dull and I didnt have much to share, hence the lack of sharing.

Until this week.

Sure I had some stories. Like this one time when I was blending the word "ditch" with my students and asked them to write it down. And was walking around and noticed that majority of them write their "d" as a "b". I kept wondering why the heck my students were writing b****.


And then the time when I asked a student to use the word "tail and tale" in a sentence and he said "My momma said she gon whoop my tail/tale".

But those are eh.

Anywho,I have a student in my class, who I knew from last year (he was retained). He is a very sweet young man, but when he gets upset, theres chaos. He was put on red for punching his sister (shes also in my class) because she wouldnt let him be first in line (Being first in line is sooooooooooooo important to them). He was upset cause he was on red, so he started throwing a tantrum.And I asked him to leave my room, wash his face, look at how silly he looks, stop crying, drink some water, and come back into the classroom when he's ready.

He was willing to do all of that. But from last year's experience, I knew not to send him anywhere on his own because there was a possiblity he would run away, out the door, and down the street. So I sent one of my reliable student's with him.

And when they came back, the reliable student said "He wants to kill you. He told me so in the bathroom."

"What did he say?"

"Uhh...I want to kill her."

He ended up getting suspended for making a comment like this. For one day. And that was that.


I got home and I told my husband.

He told me to quit.

I told some of my friends.

They were worried and concerned.

I told my mom.

She freaked out. Was worried and concerned. And told me to quit.

And then I told C.C.

And she laughed.

And I laughed right with her, cause it was meant to be a funny story to tell.*

Right? Hahaha?

The end.


*Disclaimer: I understand that sometimes we should be cautious of these things and take them very seriously, what with some kids really coming to school with guns and knives ready to kill somebody. But I know this kid. And as soon as he said it, he regretted it and showed remorse, and apologized. And he received a consequence for it. And everything was okay. Alhamdulilah I am alive.

Islam for the Muslim Dummy

That would be me.

The Muslim dummy.

Considering I have so many people in my life with Islamic knowledge, I feel like I know nothing about Islam. I lack motivation. For the life of me, I can't self-motivate myself. And once, after much time, I am motivated, I feel like I lack resources and teachers. For some time, my friends have been my main source of learning and knowledge. But since every one of them has kind of gone their own separate way and busy schedules leaving everyone drowning in God knows what, my friends and I haven't been able to connect----Islamically, I guess you could say.

But yeah.

Anyways, so recently I experienced two things that most Muslims experience very early in their life. Or at least by their prime years. And here I am experiencing it in my mid 20's.

I went to visit the graveyard and I went to the mosque for Eid prayer.

I don't think many of my close friends know this about me. Normally I would have felt kind of embarrassed to admit this. But right now, I think I can get past it. Or at least force myself to, in order to share the story.

I recently got married (Finally!??? And Alhamdulilah!) and since I've gotten married, I've talked to my husband about my maternal grandfather a lot. As I've mentioned before, I lost my maternal grandfather a couple of years ago to cancer. And I've always referred to nana as my partner in my crime. So since getting married, I've always felt that missing piece knowing that my grandfather wasn't there to celebrate this joyous occasion with me and my family and is not able to get to know my husband. Nonetheless, it's something I've learned to not think about or dwell on.

Since my grandfather passed away though, I haven't had the courage to visit his grave site. It's something that I chose not to do because I felt like I wasn't emotionally ready to do so. I knew that I couldn't handle seeing his name on a tombstone and think about how he wasn't around anymore. It just became a personal choice of mine to not visit his grave. And I know some people might think it's a bit harsh and a bit inconsiderate considering the relationship my grandfather and I had, however I don't feel the need to defend this.

So along came my husband, and I wanted him to know my grandfather. My sisters, my husband, and I were near the graveyard one day and my sisters suggested going to the graveyard and sending our blessings to everyone we knew that was buried there, including my grandfather. I said that I would stay in the car and send my peace and blessings from the car. But my husband insisted that I go and told me that it would be okay if I went and how in Islam, Muslims believed that there was a reward for visiting the deceased and sending your peace and blessings to them. And praying for them and their soul and their mercy.

So reluctantly I obliged. And I went into the graveyard. And I saw many people I knew that had passed away.

And it was hard.

Harder then I thought it would be.

And it was definitely a learning experience.

Second thing I've very recently experienced was going to Eid prayer. This Eid being the Eid where we commemorate and remember Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) and Eid falling on a Sunday, I was able to attend the prayers with my husband. It was such a happy day for me. I felt like such a kid going to the candy store. I was in awe by things that might be mundane for everyone else. And I was nervous and felt like I would make mistakes. So I asked my husband to tell me what to expect and what to do. I even learned about some traditions and customs that are performed in the masjid during this particular Eid. And I also learned about the pilgrimage that Muslims make to Hajj during this time. And lastly in the lecture, or khutba that, the imam (leader of the mosque), I finally heard the full story about Prophet Ibrahim and the sacrifice he was willing to make for God.

And yes, it is sad that I didn't know that story.

It's also sad that I'm experiencing this so late.

But I'm very grateful that I was able to.

Alhamdulilah. I feel incredibly blessed.

H A P P Y  'E I D  E V E R Y O N E ! ! ! 

May God accept the prayers of all those who are observing the Hajj. 

And may He accept the prayers of all of us around the world! Ameen!

 Have a wonderful Eid! 

And as a friend says Happy Sheep Day (like happy turkey day for Thanksgiving...get it? Lol) 

Cat, Spider, and I

A couple days ago I had an incident with a spider. It was quite the confusing and adrenaline filled incident. It mostly involved me watching a spider go around in a circle 10 times around the light on my ceiling for almost 10 minutes (the spider took several breaks and went off course several times). Eventually I decided I could not trust this spider to continue staying on the ceiling and circling around the light in full view for the rest of the night. So I got my cat involved.
Correction: I TRIED to get my cat involved.
I awakened the said cat and started communicating to her that she has a job to do.
Said cat, however, just stared at my hand motions and blinked sleepily a few times. I tried pointing but said cat just followed my hand's motions back and forth.

Eventually I gave up and told said cat that I shall have to do this myself.
I rather liked the said spider. It was cute in the way it harmlessly circled. But, the thought of cute spider crawling on me while sleeping was not cute anymore. And if I cannot trust said cat to listen to me, I sure cannot trust a cute spider.
I contemplated capturing the said cute spider and unleashing it to the outside world. Oh the havoc it would spread.
But that method usually involves a lot of complications and yelling and screw ups.
And I was tired.
So I went with the unfortunate route.
I first asked the said cute spider to leave on its own three times. (No one wants a random animal to attest against you on the Day of Judgement in front of God)
Then I grabbed the closest napkin and showed said cat how to kill a spider.
But I was not to be lucky; the said cute spider fell on my bed when I swiped at it with my napkin. Panic ensues. Adrenaline squirming.
It was a game of cat and mouse. Only it was confused human and said cute spider.
Spider ran, I ran. Spider hid, I searched.
Eventually I found Spider as it ran on to my laptop.
And it was the end of Spider.

Said cat, that was observing the whole time, stood up as though to pay its respects either to said spider or to confused human. It even sleepily came over and sniffed the napkin that held Spider, approved, and then walked back over and lied down to sleep

It was a weird experience between a spider, a cat and a human. And as I type this, a wonder if I should have built an enclosure for Spider and kept it. Sure, it would have been the weirdest thing and I would have definitely crossed the weirdo line but it was not an ordinary spider.
It was said cute Spider.

From God we come, and to Him we return. {An Islamic prayer recited upon hearing the death of someone or in this case, a spider}

Okay so I've been on a soup rage. Every weekend I make 3-4 quarts of hearty soup for the entire week. Its been absolutely amazing, very very filling, and perfect for the winter! Here's the recipe I use. The bulk of the work is in chopping everything.

Ingredients:

1 butternut squash cut in 1/2 inch cubes  (or a Zucchini, or 2-3 yellow squash, or a mix of both!)
1 chicken breast (1/2 inch cubes)
1 red onion chopped
1-2 garlic cloves diced
Spices: palmfuls of oregano, lemon pepper, paprika, and chopped parsley, and salt and pepper to taste (sometimes I add thyme, chives, and cajun)
1-2 carrot stick peeled and chopped
1-2 celery sticks chopped
1/4 cup tomato sauce
1/2 cup barely or bulgar washed
1 cup mixed beans washed (white beans, black eyed peas, kidney beans, chick peas, lima beans, pinto beans, etc) --> I just use prepackaged mixed beans bags
2 chicken or beef bouillon cubes
3-3.5 quarts water

Directions:

1- Boil water in a 4 quart pot with the bouillon cubes. Add all washed beans and barely and let it boil on med-high.
2- In a wok warm 3 tbsp oil and add onions. Once the onions are soft and pink, add garlic and chicken. Cook the chicken until opaque white and add all the spices. Next add all the chopped vegetables and tomato sauce. Cook for about 5-7 minutes until everything is a bit softened.
3- Transfer all the vegetables into the pot with water and keep on high. Add any extra salt or spices needed. (If you feel it tastes too tomato-ey then just add a bit of sugar or cinnamon)
4- Let it cook mostly covered for about an hour. If you have a pressure cooker you can cook in there for about 20 minutes.
5- Enjoy with toast or croutons!

You can play around with the recipe and add other vegetables like broccoli, potato, etc. Hope you enjoy it!