Ey there matey

Wow! I really like that shirt you’re wearing. Where’s it from? Oh and you’re hair, what kind of shampoo do you use? And your skin has a glow, is that all you?

Ok, I really can’t see or smell you. I’m sure a day will come where I will be able to though. And when that day comes Steve Jobs will have already been cloned only to have renamed his fruit inspired company into a vegetable. Pears.

That's not a vegetable.

I know pears aren't vegetables. I'm not an idiot.

So why would you say they'd name the company that?

I didn't.

So you just randomly say names of fruits, in this case, pears?

Yup.

...

Anyway what I was trying to do in the beginning before my subconscious interrupted was, suck up. That’s how you get a person to like you, right? Compliment them. Try it. It works—but be sincere. Don’t compliment them on something that you don’t like. Like their shoes that has holes big enough to hide a convict. They’ll know your BS-ing and then they’ll get mad and think you’re making fun of them.

Basically, I’m new here. Hi. The names Chuck or Chuckle. You can call me Chucko if you want. Let me tell you a little bit about myself.  I work in a hospital doing things doctors don’t wanna do. I treat patients like they’re my children even though a lot of them are old enough to be my parents and grandparents. And outside of work, I don’t have a life.

Hahaha?

I’m into everything. That’s  a problem. I want to know everything about everything but I rarely do a thorough enough job in getting to know anything. It’s annoying. Now based off of what’s been said, you would think I’m some high strung scatter-brained maniac that swings off of chandeliers for fun, but in fact I’m a relatively calm person. With an odd sense of humor.

I just wanted to take time out and say, “ ‘ello mate”.

‘ello there.

Cheers.  

Checkmate. They don’t say that do they?