The Little Stuff

Here are some of my week's amazing things in my life. I don't know what I should call this segment. I'm not a creative cat so if anyone can think of anything aside from thankful thursday, let me know!

1. Evaporated milk. It makes my chai so yummy. It's not great for me, and I am trying to cut down on a lot of fatty things, but I don't deprive myself of three things: evaporated milk in my chai, dark chocolate and carbohydrates. Good tasting chai makes me feel all warm and happy. dark chocolate tastes good, but also a little goes a long way and curbs further cravings for sweets. And carbohydrates because, if I did deprive myself of them, I'd go crazy when given the chance to eat them.

2. My health. I know this is a general topic, but I was thinking about it today. Living in India for a few years, I've had my fair share of infectious diseases; but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. However, I don't get sick often and I am grateful for that. I'd rather have one unusual illness every few years than many small ones throughout the year. I was thinking how awesome it was that I don't get sick often and I finally caught a viral infection a few days later. I guess I jinxed myself, but it really is a blessing. I do have seasonal allergies, but it can all be prevented.

3. Today's special people {and everyday!} are my friends. The ones who I can talk to about anything without feeling judged. The ones who will give me honest advice. The ones where I can meet after months or even years and feel like nothing's changed. Those people are hard to find, so if you ever find one of these gems, don't take advantage of them.

Anywhere but here

I'm having one of those days where I'd like to be alone and not talk to anyone. Actually this is day two. I just want to get away from everything. I wish there were good nature parks nearby. I'd grab my books and lunch and hang out there most of the day if I could. Phone and mind turned off. This photo is so beautiful and just looking at it calms my soul.

Appreciate what you have, not what you had

A lot of times I wonder what would have happened if my life didn't change. Or that I'd like to take myself back a few stages of my life in live there forever. Man is rarely completely satisfied with what he has. I was having a conversation with a friend and she was wishing she had waited before moving to the next phase of her life. Wishing she could go back to how things were. I sympathized with her, and wished I could move back a few years myself and relive those days that seemed so stress free.

But then I realized that every stage of life has stress or a concern or a worry. I just don't remember this fact when I have new worries and concerns to think about. I tend to only remember the good in the past. And focus on the "bad" in the present.

I am here today because of what happened in the past. I am who I am right now because of past experiences, joys and sorrows. If not, I'd be stuck in the past and wouldn't have accomplished what I have. And then I'd be sad that I was stuck in a rut and not moving on with my life. See? As I've stated earlier, Man can never be completely satisfied with his situation.

When this phase is over I will begin a new chapter of my life and wish that I could be where I am right now. Alhamdulillah, there is nothing wrong in my life right now, it's just stress. I should start counting my blessings; anything that makes me happy or feel good. A minimum of three a day. I'll try to do this as regularly as possible, but I'll probably need reminders! And I'll post them up here, aside from a few blog posts per month. {Edit: I'll start slow in regards to posting them here, but at least once a week}

Let's start with today, even though it is only 5:35 pm:
1. I ate a dosa. It's an Indian version of a savory crepe. Not everyone can make these right, the Indian restaurant here does not serve them and today I had the pleasure of eating one. Homemade and from scratch, made with love, eaten with love.
2. The weather today was a little warmer than the cold we've gotten this week and it felt to nice to feel the warm sun on my back.
3. I had pain in my foot and side before I started running this morning. I didn't want to miss today's run, so I decided to run anyways. But the pain stopped shortly after I started and I felt good after.

OK these are not so exciting, but I am a normal person and normal things happen to me. I'm just being real here. ;)

"The film is offensive because it misrepresents Islam. Senseless violence and murder is offensive for the same reason." Nouman Ali Khan

One act of stupidity doesn't justify another. My heart goes out to the US ambassador, his family and to anyone who has suffered as a consequence of the foolishness, immaturity and barbarianism. Muhammad, Peace Be Upon Him, would have trash thrown on him by a woman every day. He did not go out and throw it back on her. He didn't do anything at all. A few days went by without him getting trashed. Instead of rejoicing he went a visited her to see if she was ok.

Islam teaches peace. It teaches kindness and respect. The act of a group of people does not reflect anyone except those involved. If an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, what does overreacting to a stupid cartoon and killing an innocent person do? 

Is anyone there?

Some of us are starting new jobs, studying for boards and exams, taking care of families. I can't even keep up with the Kardashians. When I have free time all I want to do is lie around. Or turn my brain completely off, which is exactly what I do. I sign in to Netflix and I don't know what happens after that. I don't need alcohol to get a hangover.

When I do have that I should really write a blog post moment and sign in and type up a new post...nothing. Nothing come to mind. Nothing exciting, witty or clever to entertain you or ourselves with.

I'm pretty sure be boring was not one of the things on my list of things to look forward to as I aged.

Well I guess this is what happens when you're an unemployed college graduate studying for her boards. If I had a job I could at least tell you work stories, or random things I observe through out the day. You do NOT want to know what I see and hear at Barnes & Nobles. That's a little TMI for the blog. {but not for Twitter!}

I guess I'll try to pop in every once in a while. And if anyone is reading this, please let us know in the comments what you'd like to see on the blog, and if I come back {which I honestly have every intention of doing so} I'll make it happen. I'm sure more posts is one of them. El Oh El. Until next time.

Peace
Falling Up

For peace

A friend of mine is spending her time watching over her 40-something-year old cousin who is battling stage IV colon cancer.

An uncle went to visit his elderly sick grandmother in Bangladesh. He thought he'd keep her company for three weeks. She died a week before his trip ended.

A son made an emergency ticket to see his ill mother. She didn't recognize him or understand what he was saying when he finally caught up with her. She passed away days later.

Human beings have to search for peace despite the most difficult moments in life.

In the Quran God says,

 "Who say, when afflicted with calamity: 'To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return,' They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance. (2:156-157)"

Cultural woes for American raised girls

Yesterday my father-in-law went on a panting rage about how no one was giving him the food he wanted, God forbid.

At first I thought he was talking to no one in particular, so I stayed away. Then I heard him get louder and more specific.

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law sat in the kitchen with blank faces. My sister-in-law looked displeased. I cringed.


What is it about Bangladeshi men who cannot bear to not get what they want - even if it's not good for them?
What is about the Bangladeshi culture that men are often favored over women, from the kids to the parents.
Why do women have to serve everyone before eating, even if they are starving?
Why do men have to get the better share of food?
Why do men always demand things?
Why is there a secret code language to read minds hearts and souls?
Why do women believe if they don't do as their husbands say, or give them what they want (want to eat for) the husbands will curse them to doom before their deaths?
Why is the culture full of doing things for others, ignoring your own health and needs (often times), and putting less emphasis on taking care of oneself and your own actions?

This is my experience of the Bangladeshi culture.

I was raised by liberal parents who did not expect everything to be culturally packaged. For example, I did not have to serve my father all the time, nor wake up early to feed everyone, cook or clean after everyone etc.

In my in-laws house it is expected, even if you don't do it all the time.

There is a huge emphasis on taking care of the parents. I find it a struggle to understand:
1. What they want
2. What they are thinking
3. How to go about something
4. Going out of my way to do something without showing off and doing it for the sake of reward
5. Putting their priorities over yourself
6. Having to over explain things
7. Remaining silent when you want to say something - for good or bad
8. When or when not do something
9. Waiting around for a response to something you're unclear on. Being met with silence.
10. When to step your foot in, raise your concerns, look the other way.

Thank goodness there are some basic Islamic guidelines to follow: from treating others with respect, to taking care of the elderly and doing things for the sake of good deeds.

Shakir

He will put your deeds into a right state for you, and forgive you your faults; andwhoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, he indeed achieves a mighty success. (33:71) 

As an American raised child, I struggled with my own parents when it came to explaining and understanding the give-and-take rule on respect, being clear with one another, expressing feelings rather than mind-reading.

Last weekend I attended a workshop on how to spread the word about Islam and I learned from a conflict resolution segment that communication is translated differently in cultural settings: American individualistic society vs. Bangladeshi group mentality.

Which means, Americans are more likely to say things directly and are more open to personal space, while group thinkers expect you to read each others minds and say things indirectly, as well as be less keen to giving people personal space.

Neither is good or bad, but as the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said, take what is good from your cultures which adheres with the teachings of Islam.

For American raised girls living in cultural homes, it is about finding the right balance to live up to God's laws and commandments.

Shakir

And those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism) and dorighteous good deeds, they are dwellers of Paradise, they will dwell therein forever. (2:82)

Ey there matey

Wow! I really like that shirt you’re wearing. Where’s it from? Oh and you’re hair, what kind of shampoo do you use? And your skin has a glow, is that all you?

Ok, I really can’t see or smell you. I’m sure a day will come where I will be able to though. And when that day comes Steve Jobs will have already been cloned only to have renamed his fruit inspired company into a vegetable. Pears.

That's not a vegetable.

I know pears aren't vegetables. I'm not an idiot.

So why would you say they'd name the company that?

I didn't.

So you just randomly say names of fruits, in this case, pears?

Yup.

...

Anyway what I was trying to do in the beginning before my subconscious interrupted was, suck up. That’s how you get a person to like you, right? Compliment them. Try it. It works—but be sincere. Don’t compliment them on something that you don’t like. Like their shoes that has holes big enough to hide a convict. They’ll know your BS-ing and then they’ll get mad and think you’re making fun of them.

Basically, I’m new here. Hi. The names Chuck or Chuckle. You can call me Chucko if you want. Let me tell you a little bit about myself.  I work in a hospital doing things doctors don’t wanna do. I treat patients like they’re my children even though a lot of them are old enough to be my parents and grandparents. And outside of work, I don’t have a life.

Hahaha?

I’m into everything. That’s  a problem. I want to know everything about everything but I rarely do a thorough enough job in getting to know anything. It’s annoying. Now based off of what’s been said, you would think I’m some high strung scatter-brained maniac that swings off of chandeliers for fun, but in fact I’m a relatively calm person. With an odd sense of humor.

I just wanted to take time out and say, “ ‘ello mate”.

‘ello there.

Cheers.  

Checkmate. They don’t say that do they?