Food, Family, and Flak

My mom does this thing every so often, where she invites people over our house for lunch and/or dinner.

And when she does it, it's not just a couple of people. It's a couple of FAMILIES. With five or six people to EACH family.

If I can, I will avoid these gatherings. Be it "I have school", "I have work", "I'm going over my friends house", "I have a HUGE exam coming up", I'll find an excuse to get out of being there.

I don't mind helping out beforehand, but I hate being there when the guests arrive.

So my mom chose TODAY to do that.

And I had no idea.

And no one informed me.

I mean I should've known that this was going to happen. The incessant smell of curry looming into my room and up my nose and the heat stroke that I got every time I walked into the kitchen were obvious clues to this.

But I brushed these apparent signs off, because I was too tired to be bothered.

So this morning I woke up and she told me.

And I had no excuse to give her and had no choice but to help out before, during, and after the get together.

It was so NOT fun.

The before part is cleaning. That's easy as pie.

And the after part is cleaning. That's annoying as heck, but tolerable.

The during part is where I have the hardest time. I have to be a good hostess and mingle with everyone. Make them feel at home. Kiss their butts. Be at their beckon and call. Converse with them about anything and everything. Make sure stupid snotty little kids dont go in my room and touch all of my stuff. And ensure that our guests leave our house with thoughts that our family are wonderful hostesses.

I also have to deal with criticism about anything and everything.

For some odd reason, people like to make all kinds of comments when they come over our house. I don't know if others have this same problem, but I have yet to see it happen to anyone else.

Here's some I've gotten:

• You should have set the table like this. Bite me.
  
• You're washing the dishes wrong. Ummm how exactly do you wash dishes wrong?It's not like I'm using my tongue and licking away the grime and then using it to serve another guest. I'm using soap AND water, buddy. And last time I checked that was the key to getting sparkling dishes.
• Why do you all live here (referring to the urban city we reside in and it being "ghetto") ? I'm sorry, but didnt YOU just come from a third world country YESTERDAY where you had no indoor plumbing.
  
• That's not how you make tea. Well if you're so freaking good at it, YOU make it.
• How can you live next to those people that play that horrible music. We have Mexican neighbors who hire LIVE Mariachi bands to come and play at parties that they have. I think they are awesome and it's hilarious to see Desi peoples reaction to this.
• Do this like that or do that like this. Listen you, I'll do THIS like THIS and THAT like THAT.
  
• Did you help cook any of this? No, but I help eat it.

Next time I'll just join the Mariachi band instead.


P.S. My sister, Muth, was the one that got to get away from this get together today. Lucky bastard.