Outfit Of The Day

To show you more of my lifestyle, I guess I'll be posting more outfits and food and everyday photos here as well. Maybe not of my face, but little tidbits of my life here and there. :) The above photo is what I wore to a dinner a few weeks ago.

If you are new o this blog, you may not recall the post regarding the Muslim women's dress code. If you are interested in the requirements and how we stay stylish while covered up, click here to read all about it!

Jiggly Puff

Muslims don't celebrate Christmas, but it's hard to avoid holiday parties and dinners. And the fact that many out there get a break from work to gather with friends and family usually means heavy, comfort food. It's hard walking by a bakery or the bakery section of the grocery store and not be tempted to buy the many cakes and goodies.

So what it comes down to it - wether you have a special holiday or occasion to celebrate or not, the end of the year is always a danger zone for feasting on unhealthy things and slacking on exercise. I need a motivational boost every now and then.

So I'm posting here, and letting you know it's not easy! But I'm still trying. If I can't run, I walk. I'll try to go for herbal tea instead of coffee with creamer and sugar or tea with evaporated milk and sugar. Something healthy is always better than nothing.

If you start your day with unhealthy food, don't let that discourage you and allow yourself a full fat day. One unhealthy thing won't kill you, but one day can turn into one week and so on. So if anyone out there reads this and is struggling, I just want to let you know you're not alone. I'm trying, too :)

Muffin Top

You know how I got pumped up a few weeks ago and decided to work towards a healthier lifestyle?

Complete. Fail.

Well, not completely. I was good for a few weeks. But I have completely stopped everything and have been doing the exact opposite of what I was supposed to do. Stress makes me do crazy things. And makes me gain weight and eat more red velvet cake complete with cream cheese frosting, resulting in more weight gain. It's a vicious cycle and I'm the only one suffering. I now have a certified muffin top. In case you're not familiar with the term, a muffin top is when one's abdominal fat hangs over one's jeans. Either because there is too much fat or the jeans are too tight. People who aren't fat can also have a muffin top if their jeans are too small for them.

The only reason why I did stop was because I became stressed and felt that I had to dedicate all my time towards academia. Within a few days I felt to unhealthy and sad. I felt like a muddy, gray colored blob. That's a pretty weird yet accurate description of my feelings regards to my health. When I run it makes me feel good. I feel too heathy and happy to eat heavy, high calorie foods. I'm ready to start feeling like that again. It's time to dust myself off and try again. Third times a charm. It'll be the Same routine, since I was able to stick to it for so long without falling apart. Wish me luck!!

Fitspiration

Hi, Everyone! I'm in need of a little motivation. I gained weight over the last few months and seem to be going uphill on the scale.  I didn't check because I didn't want to find out, but my jeans definitely felt tighter. I started running almost everyday and started to feel good about myself. Eating healthier came automatically and I wasn't craving as much sugar as usual. Then I finally got the courage to weight myself and found that I was 3 pounds over my pre marriage weight. I wanted to lose about 8-9 pounds and still do.

For some reason I just stopped. Within a few days I noticed a dramatic change in my mood and how I felt about myself. I went from a pretty healthy diet to one filled with junk food. I feel depressed and lumpy. So I am going back on treadmill and hopefully will stick with this. I mean, I should since it made me feel so good. This time a huge reason is because of the positive impact healthy living had on every aspect of my life. 

I was running every morning for about 30-35 minutes and walking a few minutes to cool down. I am on a time constraint now so instead of adding time to my running schedule I'll add speed. 

Breakfast was usually a homemade fruit smoothie or cereal and chai. I drink the chai for the caffeine but I'm switching to coffee for two reasons. One being chai doesn't work for me anymore and I need something stronger. And I tend to add more calories to my chai than my coffee in terms of evaporated milk vs sugar.

Lunch I try to put off until about 3 pm, but I realized irregardless of how late my lunch is, I will end up eating a little dinner. So there's not point in eating so late for lunch and eating again before I give those calories a chance to properly digest. I eat a huge portion of veggies that I microwave and season myself. And add a serving of carbs. 1/2 cup of brown rice, seasoned. Or a slice of bread. Sometimes soup. I like to eat a LOT. For me, it's quantity over quality. A small heavy meal will not do it for me. I'd rather have a large meal the same calories so I stay full for a really long time. 

Dinner is usually a little Indian food, which is pretty oily. I try to not eat much around dinner time, but I usually have to eat something. 

I snack on baby carrots and try to drink a lot of water. I don't like drinking a lot and get a lot of kidney pain as a result, so I really need to and try to drink as much as I can when I remember. If I'm craving something sweet I grab some dark chocolate because that's the only thing that curbs the craving. But if there is cake in the house...I cannot resist. I still have to learn how to stay away from it. I should probably just not take the first bite. 

I am going to add a few minutes of abs, squats and arm exercises to tone up a little. Oh! This is important! Support groups, exercising buddies, etc help you keep on track, if you can't do it alone. A bunch of girls have a thread where we try to help each other stay on track and it helps for the most part. I feel bad eating something knowing other people out there are trying to be healthy and are relying on me for support. :) I also need to keep in mind that results aren't going to come in a day or two. Like the picture below says, it took time to gain the weight and will take time to lose it. At least my mental health will benefit quickly. 

Anyways, what are some ways you keep healthy? Please share your tips, we'd love to hear them :)

Happy Friday!

When I'm studying, I'm in the zone and do not like being disturbed. Not even for a moment. That's how I've been since I started med school and that's how it's going to be until I take my next exam. Le sigh. Study-wise, I guess that's a good thing, because I tend to stay on track. But it's also a  horrible thing because so much stress comes along with it if I don't stick to my schedule.

Things on my to-do list when I finally have enough time to do it

1. Burn my books - I'm kidding. Knowledge is very valuable to me and feel like I'm dissing intelligence by doing so. I would never ever do that. But I am looking forward to putting them away, out of sight, as well as removing the desk from the bedroom.

2. Work out. I was running but stopped. I am totally going to join a gym and repair my body from months and months of sitting around for hours at a time.

3. Cook! I love cooking and want to try out fancy stuff that takes time and patience. I don't know if I'll be able to follow through with this one, but I'll definitely try.

4. Read. I have not read a novel for fun in about a year and a half. It's time. There are so many books I have in mind.

5. $hopping! This I'll do after the gym and after I lose 5 pounds. There are some things on my wish list, but I think I'll hold off until I drop a few pounds. This'll be motivation to get to work!

6. Garden. I was hoping to get some gardening in this summer, but that proved to be a fail. Hopefully this coming spring/summer of 2013

7. Pinterest. I take breaks and go on pinterest, saving recipes, DIY projects and other things. I want to actually do some of those and even post them up here!

8. Go places with my husband. When he's lucky and gets two days in a row off, we naturally want to go and take a day or two trip somewhere, but can't because I am not off. We have a list of a few places in the States we'd like to visit and hopefully we can do that one day. Lucky for me, he also has his boards coming up so I won't feel as bad because he has to study, too!

9. Give my closet a makeover. I am super excited to do this. We have a walk in closet, but it definitely can be changed to make the most of the space.

10. Redo the bathroom. Paint, retile, and change the mirror, lighting and countertop. I might as well change everything. :) It's not so bad, but I want to do something drastic to something. haha.

I think my brain is ready to get back to my books. Peace :)

From Sanskrit

"Yesterday is already a dream and tomorrow is only a vision, but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope."

*Photo taken by me on Sept 3, 2011 in Manistee, Michigan 

Learn to Learn

My sister and I were having a conversation one day about school. She had told one of her teachers that she wanted to go into education so she could become a high school or middle school teacher. Her chemistry teacher told her that she shouldn't go into education because the job market is not good for teachers.

Sure, sounds like reasonable enough advice right? But what is this chemistry teacher's premise? It is that we get an education in order to solidify a job.

What about getting an education to be an educated person??

I had some friends over and we were talking about how college really just made us become learners for the sake of getting good grades and completing our credits. I barely ever studied in undergrad. I just did the minimum required in order for me to get my A and forget about the class after the semester was done. But now that I'm in grad school I have subjects that are specialized in what I actually care about learning and understanding. Like this one linguistics course I'm taking, for instance. The professor wrote a bunch of articles and books that I read before coming to the course so I was really exciting to study under her. The way she runs things is that we read each week, discuss material, and write a few papers. There are no exams. Honestly I love this way of learning but I'm engaged, keeping up with all the readings, and actually understanding and applying what we're discussing in my work. I'm not worrying about what I need to remember to do well on an exam.

So that is it. I am going to go back to school...but this time around just to be a well-educated and well-read individual. No registrations, no fees, no deadlines, and no exams. Just pure learning for the sake of learning. I started with www.khanacademy.org which is an AWESOME tool for everyone. Right now I'm watching the videos on Organic Chemistry.

I used to be pre-med before I switched over to the social sciences. Don't get me wrong, I love the social sciences and I definitely love my job and what I'm pursuing right now. But I remember that I used to looovee my math and science courses and I really miss them! So far the first few videos of Orgo have been challenging but interesting and engaging.

What have you always wanted to learn?

Your Life Before Your Death

There was a death in the community the day before yesterday. The funeral was yesterday. I did not know or meet the woman or her family but I went to the funeral. I went because there is a reward in attending a funeral and I also want people to pray for me when I die. Is that selfish? I'm glad I went because there weren't many people there and I figured we all can use every prayer we get, especially when we die. There's nothing more than can be done except pray for the deceased and hope that their stay in the grave is a comfortable one. 

I don't know her or her life story or her family, but I became pretty emotional. Death isn't easy to deal with. I've attended only a handful of funerals in my life and half of them were 3 of my grandparents'. The fourth I was too young to understand what was going on.

Anyways, everyone is going to die. We just don't know when. And I realized that I should make the most of my day, my hour, my minute, my second. I shouldn't squander my time on things and thoughts that don't matter. Living life to the fullest doesn't mean doing crazy things. I know people have a bucket list of things they want to do in their life, things they must do before they die. Some of those things include sky diving or something daring. That's fine, I have my own list of things I would love to see and do, but we should also try to include more meaningful things. Things that will leave an imprint on people's lives after we die. We should do things that make a difference, because honestly, after we're dead who is going to remember that we jumped out of a plane as a big milestone in our lives?

The prophet Muhammad Peace and blessing be upon him said, "Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: your youth, before you become old; and your health, before you fall sick; and your richness, before you become poor; and your free time before you become busy; and your life, before your death." This is so true. When I'm sick, I regret that I didn't get my work done when I could have. When I'm busy, I mentally kick myself for procrastinating, etc.

If you believe in the Hereafter then invest this time into it, because once we are gone, the only thing that will help you are your good deeds and the only thing that will harm you are your bad deeds. Nothing else, except a few things which can benefit: Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him said, "When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing Charity, a knowledge (of Islam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes supplication for him." (Muslim and others).

So, if you put a water fountain somewhere and people drink from it, you will get the reward for supplying them with water. That's just an example of the first. 

If I can't do something great now, I know I need to work towards being able to do great things in the future. I just hope I can get there before I die and I hope I get an A for effort if I don't make it. 

I planned on writing something happier and less serious, but funerals make me sad. 

Patience like Ayub

Two days ago I felt a "choking sensation," went to the hospital to get it checked out, and now am in the waiting process to see an ear nose and throat doctor (ENT) specialist after Labor Day weekend.

God tests us to see if we can withstand the difficulties He imposes on us, and if we become stronger in faith.

"And surely we try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and crops, but give glad-tidings to the steadfast, who when a misfortune befalls them, say lo! we are Allah's (possession of Allah) and to Him shall we surely return. · Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly-guided."  (2:155-157)

Ayub, (Job) the Prophet best known for his patience, was one of the 25 named prophets in the Quran.

He began with an abundance of health, wealth and children. Satan was convinced Ayub was only grateful to God due to his many blessings. Satan pleaded to God to test Ayub by taking these things away:

He lost his wealth.
The roof of his home fell and killed his family.
He lost his health; gnats chewed up his skin.
People left his side.
His wife who cared for him, left.

But he chose to be patient. He realized all his former possessions were gifts from God. He said, God had a right to take what He had granted.

At the very end when gnats were about to chew up Ayub's tongue, he prayed to keep the ability to remember God by worshiping with his tongue.

"Truly adversity has afflicted me and You are Most Merciful of all who show mercy." (21:83)

God then instructed him to bathe in a spring after striking a particular area of the ground with his foot. His illness was removed and his youth, family, and wealth were returned to him.

May  God give us the strength to bear the burdens that He entrusts us with.

Shibly, the man of cheer

My sister-in-law went on vacation to England to see her family: an uncle, three brothers, and several cousins. Her brother Shibly escorted her and her three kids home.

I briefly spoke to him on the phone many times, while I received and delivered the phone to my sister-in-law.

During those conversations he would joke: You sound like a little girl ha ha ha! (in the gentlest way) I could not help but laugh with him. He told me how he loved my son's name, named after one of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad who's name means "abundance" in Arabic.  And he would encourage me to keep good relations with his sibling who I live with, as a gesture of keeping it real. 

And there he was, in person.

Everyday for a week, Shibly attracted guests, neighbors, and family members to our home. He would sit on the couch and literally all you would hear would be him talking followed by a heartfelt good laugh. Laid back, easy-going and friendly he would generate and carry-on even the dullest of conversations.

For example, my father-in-law asked him, "Is your wife older or is your (younger) brother's wife older?" His wife is older.

Shibly, who has been married for about a decade doesn't have any children, brought a handful of toys for the kids to play with. His wife and he are trying to conceive. They have been trying.

One day while he sat on the couch in the living room, he talked about the treasure of mothers.

A summary of what he said:

Child services are so expensive. In England you could get paid about 350 pounds a week in foster care, or $700. That's a lot of money. On the other hand, a mother doesn't get paid anything. For some women who chose to work (full-time) rob themselves the joy of raising their children and giving them a peace of mind. They are not only expected to bring home money but they are also expected to start their second full-time job as soon as they get home: homemaker and mother. They are on a short-end. Some cannot stand it when their children make noise. When they are excited and loud. By the second time, the kids are in trouble.

For others, mothers leave primary child-rearing to their mothers/mother-in-laws, and that is for free. What do the grandparents get in return? Nothing. Not a payment nor a gift (he meant in general child-caring is just expected of them). Yet childcare is worth at least $700 a week, per child.

All this made me think. I finished my undergrad last December and haven't been "seriously" looking for a job. One of my reasons is to care for my infant son. As a writer, I can find jobs online jobs and petty things. Most of my services end up being for free.

I'm afraid of just what Shibly described; losing precious much-needed time with my son.

I am guilty of leaving my child with his grandparents while I went to school, which I justified through a pre-marriage talk of continuing my education after marriage. I also justified that while he was a baby he wouldn't "miss me as much" or "need as much care" rather than when he was older. It would also be harder for me to leave him home once he was older and understood I was leaving him behind. I was afraid I'd be less motivated to continue my education if I gave up just then (I was in my 3rd year of college when I was pregnant.)

When I was pregnant I thought about giving it all up. At the time I was taking full-time credits, doing an internship and transitioning from single college life to married college life. I was dealing with living in a multi-family multi-complex home. I still live there.

But then I came to my senses. One of my favorite verses in the Quran is: " No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. (2:233)" This verse has given me the strength to carry on every time the road looked rough. God tests us to make us stronger and to bring us closer to Him.

"Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward. (64:15)" Subhanallah, Glorious is Allah. 


As parents, our reward on Earth is already mentioned in the Quran too...good treatment and respect from our children.


"And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims. (46:15)"

Sometimes we need people who don't have children to remind us of the gifts we have, and the blessings we take for granted.

Why I Love to Pray

There was a time when praying five times a day felt like such a burden in life. The times were so inconvenient to my schedule and my heart was never truly in it. Then I came to know of the following saying of God:

I have divided prayer between Myself and My servant into two halves, and My servant shall have what he has asked for. When the servant says:

All praise belongs to Allaah the Rabb of all the Worlds.
God says: My servant has praised Me. And when he says:

The Most Gracious the Most Merciful
God says: My servant has extolled Me, and when he says:

Master of the Day of Judgement
God says: My servant has glorified Me -and on one occasion He said: My servant has submitted to My power. And when he says:

You alone do we worship and from You alone do we seek help
God says: This is between Me and My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for. And when he says:

Guide us to the Straight Path, the Path of those whom you have favored, not of those upon whom is Your anger, nor of those who are astray

God says: This is for My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for."

[Narration reported by Muslim, Maalik, at-Tirmidhee, Abu Daawood, an-Nasaaee and Ibn Maajah]

The verses that God responds to in the above narration are the translation of the verses from the Opening Chapter of the Qur'an. It is what Muslims recite in every prayer unit every time they pray.

Prayer to me is my time of solitude with God; one-on-one time with Him. Its the time that I get to talk to God and I know that He is responding and its almost as if I can physically hear it. And most of all it is a time in which God will answer my prayer of seeking guidance directly with no hesitation and no doubt on my part.

I try to surround my day, my activities, my schedule around prayer. When I'm in class I think about where I'll pray after it. When I'm finished with one prayer I'll think about when the next prayer is. When I sleep I think about when I'll wake up for prayer again. Its a cycle that keeps going on without end.

Sometimes people get frustrated with my constant worry about my prayers and not missing them. But I don't care because when you drink from the elixir of God's love who cares about what others think? Its His love thats a necessity for me in life.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "When anyone of you is engaged in the prayer, he is holding an intimate conversation with his Lord."

May we be amongst those who are intimate with God. Ameen.

The things we should do for L-O-V-E

I love this blog. Not like, but love. And when I feel like I've abandoned it, i.e. not written/commented/checked up on it, I feel so stressed out. I constantly remind myself that I need to do something for it/to it to make sure I'm doing my part. That I'm contributing in SOME way.

It might sound cliche and quite frankly, kinda corny, but I really feel like I'm a part of something since I've joined this blog. Like I'm taking the initiative and trying my damn hardest to make a difference in someones life. I've never been actively involved in any sort of community outreach program except for the rare volunteer opportunities that I partake in. And most of those events I'm present in because my friends do it. Ah yes, peer influence.

When Controlled Chaos created this blog almost three years ago (June 24th is our three year anniversary!) with the intention of making the world a bit more open minded through the views, ideas, opinions, thoughts and anecdotes of your everyday average Muslim American girls, she was not only doing a public service for the misinformed, uneducated and the completely clueless, but she was also opening up a whole new door for me. This blog was/is my stepping stone into doing something humanitarian. Helping society. Educating people. Doing my part as a human being. Even if it seems minuscule.

And yeah, we have our fair share of ups and downs here at Symphonic Discord, with a WHOLE lot more downs then ups. And Controlled Chaos constantly threatens to shut it down cause we suck as writers and aren't doing anything about keeping the blog active.

But it's something I constantly have on my mind. No joke. I've been thinking about potential posts before my work day begins, while teaching, and after I've hightailed out of school. I run through multiple thoughts while showering, driving home, and sitting in the backyard. My thoughts center around enlightening others with random facts about Muslims and Islams. Stupid things I do as a teacher. Silly things my students say. Funny moments with my siblings. Crazy thoughts I share with friends. Anything that I can contribute to anyone that is reading.

For the past month, I've been trying to rejuvenate my thoughts, get out of this writer's rut, and just get back on track and renew my intention for being on this blog. The motto of this blog is something I firmly believe in and I can wholeheartedly say if we(the authors of this blog and anyone else that wants to help) pushed and challenged ourselves, we could do great things.


In the end, when I feel like I've failed this blog and havent done what I should/could do for it and with all the efforts (or lack thereof) put into this blog, I try to remind myself of the wise words of Mother Teresa, when she said, " What we are trying to do may be just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. "

And with that, I log of off Facebook, fix my posture, open up blogger and finally start typing...

Goodbye Oprah!

Oprah Winfrey said goodbye to The Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday, May 25. It was a bittersweet moment for fans, but not for her she said. "No bitter, just sweet."

I've been watching Oprah since I was in high school. The controversial subjects rang a bell in my heart, as she discussed everything from polygamy in the U.S. to the effects of child molestation. She reminded us to be aware, be alert.

I also enjoyed the celebrity episodes including the one with Bollywood movie stars Aishwariya and Abhishek Bachan after their wedding.

Yesterday I watched the last show with devotion. There was the usual environment: my nephew whining for the remote and my curious niece asking questions. My son and his toddler cousin were putting on the grown-up's shoes and fighting over toys. I barely moved. Oprah was leaving TV as we know it.

I remember a few years ago I would think of ways to get on her show. I knew it had to be something wonderful and well-thought out. Oprah was good at showing people who they really were.

As a minority figure on television, she marked an era of changing people's lives by leading by example and opening up topics for discussion. She had Muslims, gays, murders, rapers, reporters and survivors on her show. She spoke to celebrities and everyday people about everything from fighting and overcoming abuse, education, fashion, strength, and giving back to the world.

From free giveaways to sharing inspirational messages, Oprah dedicated 25 years of her life to TV and being the change she wants to see in others (Gandhi would be proud).

In her farewell speech to the audience she gave a quick reminder for people to believe in God, and to listen for those whispers in your mind that tell you to move forward and to do what you're meant to do. "I only made mistakes when I didn't listen," she said. "Your life is always speaking to you. First in whispers... If you don't listen to the whisper it gets louder and louder."

The outcome of your life depends on you. "Nobody but you is responsible for your life," she said, "Doesn't matter what you’re momma did, what your father didn’t do."

She said all of her 30,000 guests had one thing in common: the need for validation. "Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?" 

I'm going to miss the 4 p.m. talk show hostess who showed us how to overcome our differences and share humanity; laughter, tears, hugs, and plenty of smiles. 

You can email her at Oprah@Oprah.com.

Comment with your favorite episodes!

Mother Effer

(Guest Post)

I type this... as tears stream out of my eyes and my heart clenches in a way that can only be the product of utter exasperation and irritation.

I walked around campus today, and heard and heard and heard the repetition of the word "mother effer..." but you know, the full word. Now, as a woman, mother anything strikes a sense of anger within me, but a word that is so saturated with racist history... well, that hurts.
It hurts me so much, that I could help but start crying when I turned to this boy standing by me. And I said.... "do you know what the word you just said means?" and the one who had made the moronic statement said "what?" As though he was unsure of what I was saying, or maybe that I even spoke at all. Given that my voice was shaking, we were in a room full of people, and well I was the only person who really looked "different" I gathered up my courage, threw a silent prayer to the skies and said "It is the term used, in which slave owners referred to their slaves, because they would force them to breed with their mothers"..... And the boy looked at me... I say boy, but he may have been my age, who knows. But he looked at me as though I was the ignorant one, as though I was the rude one, as though I was the one who spent the last 5 minutes cussing up a storm.
And he said, nothing. Actually, it was more of a "gasp" but not in that "oh my God" kind of way. But you know....

So, I walk away, to pick up my order from taco bell, and he turns to his friend and he's like "I have plenty of black friends, and I've never heard that before".... and then starts cussing me out, like I wasn't 2 feet away, or that he was pretending like I should pretend not to hear him. Now, if you were wondering about his race, I guess his statement makes his distinction clear.... So, moving from that point of distinction, his friend, who happened to be black, was so beautifully eloquent, that I just wanted to hug him on the spot, but resisted the urge. Anyway, the one who used the poopy statement, just went on and on about how I should have not spoken. But from the looks of everyone in the room, I think they all stood on me with this issue, and his friend said "she's just educating you about history".... and they just went on and on.

So, I moved on. Sat down at the first secluded table as I tend to do. And began writing. I decided, that I will write a poem about those words, about this encounter, but I am not quite ready to do so yet. Some things are better left unsaid, and sometimes the messenger gets shot, but someone needs to 'deliver the message'. I think he was upset that a small little quiet girl had the audacity to say something to him. I'm sorry for verbally castrating you stranger, but sometimes things are worth saying. Some things, like those words, are better left unsaid....

Now, why the post? Well, it hurts that people are so naively ignorant. Just because you never heard something before, doesn't mean there is no history to it. Science is the discovery of preexisting things, moments, times, experiences, and/or all of the above, and giving it a name or label. Not that I am reducing science to that meaning only, but in this instance I will stand by that definition. I instantaneously started crying when I heard this young man. Tears just poured out of my eyes, as though I was actually standing outside in the rain, rather within the shelter of a building. I hope that people become more aware about the words they use. Or willing to accept advice from a stranger, who has nothing to gain and everything to lose when giving their thoughts to someone they may never see again.

I don't know where I am going with this. But I know this, I am too sensitive when it comes to words. Maybe it's a product of being a student of philosophy, but I hope that people just develop a tiny bit more understanding and respect to their surroundings.

I don't know. I guess I'll never know. Thoughts anyone?

Some posts I'd like to share:

http://open.salon.com/blog/trig_palin/2009/09/04/a_history_of_the_term_motherfucker

(I came across this amazing post today and was surprised by what I had just learned. I just had to feature this post and help spread the word. The author is the amazing, talented writer, Supreem and you can find the original post and her blog here here: http://supreemthoughts.blogspot.com/

You won't regret clicking that link. Unless you hate the color green...Thenn you might regret it a little

-Symphonic Discord author)

Mohamed's Journey

Sometimes we meet people in our lives that don't strike us as amazing or anything special. Perhaps we just run into them, have a conversation or two, and then we go about our lives. Sometimes its not until we look back at our experience with them that we realize they left an imprint on our souls. 

Three years ago while I was in Egypt I traveled to a tourist city in Sinai along the Red Sea. Tourists from all over the world flock this city to bask in the sun, enjoy all sorts of water activities, explore mountainous regions, and most all party all night. 

There was a restaurant that all of us went to as a chill place when you just want to watch the water while sipping on some amazing drink. There was a waiter at this place whose name was Mohamed. He was young, very fit, and pretty easy on the eyes; the young European and American girls thought he was adorable. 

See, Mohamed was from a good and religious family from a relatively low class in Cairo. He moved to this city after high school to make good money to support his family. He used to love hearing the athan (call to prayer) five times a day out loud from the hundreds of mosques in the city and he would be so excited to go to his mosque everyday with his father in the evening. 

When he moved to Sinai, he experienced a culture shock. His entire world changed. The city was filled with tourists and locals who didn't dress or behave as those did in his hometown. The Muslim men who worked in the city were infamous for partying at night with the American/European/Australian women at bars and clubs. They were even more infamous for having a new country represented in their beds every other night. 

At first Mohamed was disgusted and promised himself that he wouldn't fall into this life of sin. But slowly, as he continue to work and stay there, this culture became quite normalized to him until he too was engaging in similar activities. There was one woman vacationing from Switzerland that fell madly in love with Mohamed. They enjoyed their time together so much so that quite randomly they got married in the city and the girl decided to stay with him there. 

Several years later Mohamed finally saved enough to buy himself and his wife a one way ticket to Canada. He was so excited to start his new life with his wife in the Western world, a place he had come to know so well through his customers at the restaurant. 

He found something so strange in Canada, very different than what he expected. He came to know of a mosque near his home and so he decided to visit; perhaps he would find people like himself. At the mosque he found Muslims from all over the world praying together and creating a beautiful community for their families. They didn't go out partying all night as many Western tourists would do so in the tourist city back in Sinai. They were simple people, contemplative on life and their purpose. They took out time to pray to their Lord five times a day, even though their work schedules were busy and rigorous from 9-5. They convened every month at their mosque to eat and catch up with one another. And most surprising, they actually read their Holy book the Quran. 

Mohamed started attending at least 2-3 prayers out of the day at the mosque. He hadn't prayed consistently in many many years. His wife started seeing a side of him she had never come to know. She didn't know much about Islam, nor had she even been very interested in it before. 

I messaged Mohamed about a week ago when I randomly found him on Facebook. I had barely spoken to him or gotten to know him at all when I was in Egypt. It was so beautiful hearing his story and seeing him grow so much. He now worries about what he'll do when they have children, how he wants them to be Muslims of unwavering faith and consistent good deeds. 

Mohamed's story inspired me. Sometimes we get so lost in our environments. We make the wrong friends and make some bad decisions. And sometimes when we've strayed so far from our values and beliefs we begin to think we can never make it back by moving forward. So instead we get trapped in a delusion. Mohamed's life reminds me that God is there and when you're ready to turn to Him, He will be there with open arms ready to forgive you and help you change your ways, help you to find a better environment in which you can cultivate your faith and be rooted in true morals. 

*FYI: Mohamed's name was changed for this post.

To Veil or Unveil?

In light of NPR's recent piece "Lifting the Veil," in which Muslim women describe why they took of their headscarves, I've been having multiple discussions on the meaning of "hijaab" in Islam. 


The literal meaning of the word "hijaab" ( حجاب ) in Arabic is NOT headscarf. It actually means a barrier or partition. It comes from the verb which means "to form a separation between" and "to cover." 


Its interesting how the word is used in the Quran. God says: 

وَبَيْنَهُمَا حِجَابٌ ۚ وَعَلَى الْأَعْرَافِ رِجَالٌ   يَعْرِفُونَ كُلًّا بِسِيمَاهُمْ ۚ وَنَادَوْا أَصْحَابَ الْجَنَّةِ أَن سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ ۚ  لَمْ يَدْخُلُوهَا وَهُمْ يَطْمَعُونَ

And between them will be a partition, and on [its] elevations are men who will recognize all by their marks. And they call out to the companions of Paradise, "Peace be upon you." They have not [yet] entered by they long intensely. [7:46]

In this verse the "hijaab" is referring to a wall/partition/barrier that is put between the people of Heaven and the people of Hellfire. And on this partition are a group of people whose good deeds are equal to their bad deeds and so they're waiting for their judgement, not knowing which side of the barrier they'll be put on.


What is interesting here is the purpose of this barrier. It clearly and physically separates those who were righteous in this world from those who were not.


Now lets backtrack to the cultural use of the word "hijaab." These days its used to refer to the headscarf which many Muslim women wear to cover. Historically however it is a state which a Muslim man and Muslim woman both observe; a state of modesty and a state of openly identifying as a Muslim. This state is both internal and external. Internally, one's heart is attached to God and thus puts a barrier around it protected one's self from that which will deter him or her from God. Externally, it puts a barrier from oneself from those who are not Muslim. This external barrier is not to shun people, but it is to show and be proud of one's Islamic identity.


The beauty of Islam is that its not actually a religion as we define religion. It is a way of life which encompasses every facet of the believer's life rather than compartmentalizing it like many other religions.


Thus when a Muslim woman specifically chooses to observe hijaab, part of it manifests outwardly in covering her external beauties by covering her hair, breasts, and dressing modestly in a dignified manner.


I've been asked many times by people about my hijaab: "Don't you feel oppressed? Wouldn't it just feel liberated to not have to cover?"

My answer: 

My hijaab is my representation of liberation, a right God has bestowed on all women. We live in a day and age where women are oppressed by men's sexual desires. Women are the objects of sexual entertainment in media all around us. We're oppressed by this media that tells us to be free by taking off our clothes and exposing ourselves the world. My hijaab reminds me that I am of extreme worth and value, that my value is not by my external body but by my internal soul, that to have a sense of dignity is where my freedom lies. So no, I don't feel oppressed. Rather, I feel liberated. I feel free. I feel beautiful. I feel Muslim.

Tuna Lettuce Wrap

I used to be really chunky back in the day. I think I'm still on the bigger size but at least the Hubster likes my curves.

Anyhow, back in the day I joined WeightWatchers and they were awesome in giving cool ideas for low fat meals and what not. Anyhow, today I was making the Hubster a bacon & egg sandwich and I decided to opt out for something much healthier and WAY easier: a tuna lettuce wrap.

It was really really easy to make. I just took some lettuce put a can of tuna mixed some Mrs. Dash and Cajun seasoning and wrapped it up into a roll. It was delicious! :) You could add mayo, cheese, relish, etc in it too... pretty much a regular wrap just with lettuce.

I like the crunchiness :)

Okay I'm done.

Rock....Paper... Scissors...JESUS!

Bam!! When my kids at school play this, Jesus totally TRUMPS all of the above. Obviously. It's funny how kids can have more faith in things than adults. Not just concerning their religiosity either. But just in general. They are more optimistic, hopeful, open-minded about things around them then adults are. We can always say it, but it's so true that kids are wiser then we give them credit for. I asked my kids how they would settle a disagreement and argument today. I also asked them to respond and provide both negative and positive ways to settle a dispute. Negative ways included fighting and insulting one another. And positive methods ranged from talking it out, walking away, hearing the opposing side, breathing, counting to ten, apologizing to one another, and asking others for advice. Terry Jones, the pastor that burned the Qu'ran recently, and has been threatening to do so since the 9th anniversary of September 11, and the people in Afghanistan that are attacking and killing innocent civilians in retaliation, could learn a thing or two from them. Shame on all of them for acting the way they are. Whether it's figuratively, or literally, haven't they all learned from Mahatma Gandhi, that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind?

El oh el!

Laughing is refreshing. It's fun to do. It's a helluva lot better than sulking.

Occasionally me and Chuckle have laughing fests. I'll laugh about something, she'll laugh at my distinctive laugh. And next thing you know, we have tears streaming down our face and we're holding the sides of our stomachs from pain.

We also used to lie down next to each other, in an upside down position, and talk to one another. The way your mouth looks in this position, while you talk, used to crack us up! It just looked so dumb and funny to see your mouth move from an upside down angle.





So after watching the recent CNN special on "Unwelcome: The Muslims Next Door", I was in a state of panic and worry and disgust and anger and just an overall upset mood. If you haven't watched it or didn't hear about it, it's basically about the city of Mursfreesboro, Tennessee, enraged that the Muslim residents of the city decided on relocating and constructing their mosque to a larger space. There were many people for and OBVIOUSLY against the building of the mosque and many protests over it. So much controversy surrounded it that it was taken to court. Just a lot of tension, bigotry, and ignorance in the city of Mursfreesboro. It was very disheartening to watch and take in.

However I got an email today from one of our former authors, Artistic Logic, that has kept me laughing all day. Instead of getting upset and outraged, Artistic Logic, more or less, pointed out the ridiculous things people say, ludicrous things people do, and even the outrageous things people wear. Not to mention the lack of knowledge people have about a lot of things these days, particularly that of Islam and Muslims. Don't get me wrong, the special presented by CNN is a very serious issue and impacts many people, myself included. And I applaud CNN for taking the initiative and raising awareness about this. But after some time, if you really look back on it, and listen to some of the stuff and watch the actions of people, it really makes you guffaw at it all.

While talking about subject and predicate parts of a sentence with my class, I randomly thought of it, and I suppressed a giggle. And then again when I was yelling at my students for shouting out during instruction, I had to force the smile away that was creeping up on my lips. And while driving home from work, I was grinning from ear to ear, while thinking about it.

I dont know about you, but I just love to laugh. I feel like my whole day was much nicer cause of that email that had me hooting since dawn.

Not to mention that LOL-ing is much more fun and better,then say, FML-ing.

In a Dream

It's been a difficult semester, what with endless writing assignments on top of endless noodle binges, life has been weird for the past few months. It seems like i'm still trying to find my place in this life. But i've decided to look for some of the good things that have been happening, for there are MANY. First and foremost, OMG who knew noodles could be sooo effing delicious??!! Also, being situated across from a high school, I get to pass some cute high school boys playing some hardcore tennis, every day on my way to school! Ok so maybe i'm a pedo, whatever, cute boys are cute boys. Also after being separated from my best friend for almost a year, she's coming to see me! And on her birthday too :))). There are few things that make me happier then just chillin with my bestie :). God, I love that girl; thank you for letting me collide with her.

Also, ivy on this particular ivy league, is quite beautiful. All throughout winter these vines that have creeped their way up to the top, were an inspiration. No matter where I am in this life, there's only one direction and i'm making my way there :). A beautiful reminder that there are no mistakes and no wrong turns. It is remarkable to me how wonderful life can be, I will use that tired adage to describe it: even on a cloudy day- you always know the sun is there, waiting, peeking, and will always be there. To share it's warmth and love, with you.

Walking home a few days ago, it started to snow. I hurried along, not wearing a jacket- stupid weather was having menopause or something, it was 70F just the day before- I happened to glance down at my phone and noticed on my arm, was a perfect snowflake. The most beautiful and tiny, white beauty that made me stop and smile. There really is perfection in all things, was the first thought that popped into my head, the next was that it was freaking cold! Baby steps, right? .0_0.

Life is good, no- it's wonderful. I have been blessed with a truly unique path, for all paths are unique. Sometimes I forget that we were not created to emulate one another, but to be ourselves. To live for ourselves. To find the beauty and the love, within ourselves. I'm not one for resolutions, or false goals but I have one for myself: I hope every day, no matter what, I can look for things to appreciate. To appreciate the blessings that have been bestowed, upon me. For thankfully, there are many!

Here's to a wonderful semester, filled with aced term papers and easy finals. And of course noodles- lots and lots of yummy noodles! :)