Mrs. Cullen: The Genius

Dear Friends,

Many of you know what a genius I am. Examples of my genius-ness include tipping over a kayak in which a friend and I were sitting in, trying to shake a Muslim brothers hand at the MSA banquet, choosing to watch LOST all night before my Chemistry final, etc. Today in this post, I would just like to share with you another story in which you will all praise me for my genius-ness and perhaps follow in my footsteps.

Yesterday, as I was driving home from school I noticed the orange light near my "EMPTY" sign. I knew I must put gas in the car but talked myself out of it. "I'll make it home." "No big deal." "I'm sure it'll be fine." "If I must, I'll stop somewhere on the way home." Those were the many genius things I tried to tell myself. Soon after taking 94, my car stalled. I pulled to the side and began to panic. Quickly, I called my friend Constructive Attitude who cannot drive and does not have a car. Luckily, she has a [younger] sister who can. I waited and waited and they came to my rescue. Unfortunately, I did not have the red gas jar [thingy] in my trunk, nor did they. After attempting to put gas in my car with a plastic gallon milk [thingy], I remembered I had several pop bottles in my car for the masjid bottle drive. Constructive Attitude held the Mountain Dew bottle while I poured the gasoline from the plastic milk thingy through the filter (or perhaps it was the other way around, I can't remember, for I was too busy making sure the trucks and cars driving 70 miles an hour didn't hit us). It was easy to pour the gasoline into my car from the small Mountain Dew bottle, but do keep in mind the bottle was only 1 liter, so we did have to go through the process several times during which the M DOT dude finally decided to show up. So while Constructive Attitude flirted with the old man, I used her cell phone to call my parents (because mine had died; of course) and made sure my car started and then was off to the nearest gas station! Still, I decided to take another risk and instead of taking the next exit, I drove down till Telegraph and exited there.

Please do learn from my genius-ness and NEVER do as I do, ever.

Yours for the sake of Peace and Sisterhood,
Mrs. Cullen

PS: I was joking about the flirting part. Calm down CA!